SUNDAY FUNNIES: TECH TROUBLE?

All paws when it comes to typing

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!

Now, I will be the first to admit that we live in a marvelous age with computers, cellphones, and other wonderful gadgets.
Yet sometimes I have to stop and wonder if maybe sometimes we have too much technologically.
I've watched the humans around me a lot and have seen some interesting things...

Each person has 15 different phone numbers to call each other, and I live with a family of 3!
Talk about trying to reach out and touch someone...

Once the mother came home and used her cellphone to see if there was anyone else home to help her bring in the groceries!
On a bad weather day I can understand doing that, but otherwise, what happened to getting out of the car and going inside?

With so many passwords and codes to remember, have you ever accidentally entered your ATM PIN into the microwave, thinking that would cook your meal?

Have you noticed that just about every commercial and television network now has a web site?

When was the last time anybody played solitaire with real cards?

I once overheard the husband complain to his wife that he had to e-mail the person he shares an office with, despite the fact that the man was at his desk!
Why didn't he just speak up and get the man's attention?

The son complained once to his mom that he couldn't write his book report because the computer wasn't working.
What happened to good old fashioned pen and paper?

Either I'm getting beyond "puppyhood" or just too set in my ways. Yesterday the son and a bunch of his friends were in our backyard hunting Pokemon.
Now, it's good that they were playing and getting some exercise at the same time, but I never saw what they were hunting, despite the fact each kid claimed to have captured one.
Of course, no stray... whatever they are dare enter MY backyard! I'll bark them away in a heartbeat!

In any event, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 24-30, 2016

TODAY IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN VANUATU.

JULY 30th MARKS THE 50th ANNIVERSARY OF BATMAN: THE MOVIE

WITH ADAM WEST, BURT WARD, AND COMPANY.
JULY 31st IS KA HAE HAWAI'I (FLAG) DAY IN HAWAII.

AUGUST 1st MARKS THE 30th ANNIVERSARY OF
HOWARD THE DUCK: THE MOVIE.

AUGUST 4th MARKS THE 100th ANNIVERSARY OF THE VIRGIN ISLANDS BECOMING AFFILIATED WITH THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

2016 MARKS THE 65th ANNIVERSARY OF TOPPS BASEBALL CARDS.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*North Korea claims the United States has declared war on their country after placing sanctions on Kim Jong-un for human rights violations.
*Were Japanese authorities warned in advance about the massacre of disabled people in Kanagawa???
*Solar Impulse 2 has become the first totally solar powered airplane to travel around the world.
*Investigators now believe that the remains of the missing Malaysia Flight 370 may be further north than originally suspected.
*Chris Froome won the 2016 Tour de France.

THE 2016 SUMMER OLYMPICS...

*While the International Olympics Committee still believes no athlete can officially represent Russia because of doping concerns, they can complete as individuals if they pass an authorized drug test before the 2016 Summer Games start August 5th.
*Australian athletes will be staying at local Rio de Janeiro hotels, under the belief that the official athletes' village is unsafe for human occupancy.



TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*ISIL suicide bombers attacked a peaceful protest in Kabul, Afghanistan; killing over 80 innocent people and injuring 260+ others.
*Bombs and their suicidal deliverers are still the preferred weapon of choice for yet another week of attacks.

PASSING PARADE...
*Actress Vivean Gray (The Sullivans, Neighbours) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Youree Dell Harris, also known as "Miss Cleo" and other aliases with "psychic powers" is no longer with us.
*Singer/actress Marni Nixon (The King and I, The Sound of Music, West Side Story, My Fair Lady) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Cartoonist Richard Thompson (Cul de Sac) has passed away.
*Actor Jerry Doyle (Babylon 5, The Bold and The Beautiful) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Legendary artist Jack Davis (Mad magazine, various EC Comics) is no longer with us.
*Fred Tomlinson (Monty Python's Flying Circus extra and composer of "The Lumberjack Song") has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...

*North Korea claims the United States has declared war on their country after placing sanctions on Kim Jong-un for human rights violations.
*Children's music group USA Freedom Kids has announced they will sue the Donald Trump campaign for illegal use of their music.
*The Federal Bureau of Investigation is looking into whether or not the Democratic Party and the Hillary Clinton Presidential Campaign are victims of computer hackers.
*Did Trump commit treason by asking the (alleged?) Russian hackers to search for Hillary Clinton's missing e-mails???
*Does Donald Trump have any connections to Russia??? And why would Russia be involved in American politics to begin with???
*After he is no longer in office, current President Barack Obama will establish his Presidential Library in Chicago, Illinois; although his family will be leaving the White House for a private residence in a local Washington, DC neighborhood.
*Congress is still in the midst of their summer vacation.
AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION...
*Hillary Clinton and Tim Kaine are the official President and Vice-Presidential candidates for the Democratic Party in the 2016 election.
*Wikileaks claims that Democratic National Committee Chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz allegedly preferred Clinton over Bernie Sanders and made sure to do everything she secretly could so Clinton got the nomination. While many question the source (Russian hackers???) of this information, Schultz voluntarily resigned to keep peace among the Democrats.
*Despite the furor over the allegations and not receiving the nomination, Bernie Sanders has endorsed Clinton and urges Democrats to stay united against the Republican Party.
ELSEWHERE...
*Can a female be fired for asking why she is making less money than a male co-worker in the SAME job???
*Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette has officially filed charges against 6 people in the Flint, Michigan contaminated water scandal.
*Verizon Communications has bought Yahoo! for $4.83 billion dollars in CASH!

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our ELSEWHERE feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 30, 2016

FUN FACT
The word Slang is actually short for Short LANGuage.

WHAT'S THAT SONG?
The line from a song is below. Can you identify the song?

♫But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies
kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee.♫

TRIVIA TIME
What vehicles actually debuted during 1966's Batman: The Movie that had not previously appeared on the television show?

We'll reveal all next weekend. Meanwhile, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results of the July 23, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you form out of the letters in SUMMER?
There are a few more than you think.

Em(s), emu(s)
Me, Mum(s), Muse
Rum(s), Ruse
Serum, sum, sure,
Us, use, user

More than the 17 listed above might be possible.

COMMON BONDS
The items within each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?
01. {Harry George Peter, the lie detector} = William Moulton Marston, who invented the lie detector and co-created Wonder Woman with artist Peter using the pen name Charles Moulton.
02. {Dom DeLuise, Roger Rees} and yes we know they are both actors.
Believe it or not, both were part of the original possibilities to play Mork from Ork before Robin Williams auditioned and got the role.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HOT WEATHER, HOT JOKES (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here.

Now dragons (and other reptiles) LOVE hot weather. I know a lot of humans have trouble with the heat and humidity, so I hope you're taking it easy and safe wherever you are.

But if there's one thing this dragon loves more than warm weather and Belgosian Dark Chocolate, it's jokes, so let's get right to this weekend's batch.

The calendar felt weak so went to its doctor.
When the exam was over and the doctor was looking at the results, the calendar said, "Give it to me straight, doctor."
The doctor replied, "You have twelve months."

"KEEP COOL!"

Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
He saw the salad dressing!

My computer crashed the other day. When I ran the diagnostic program to figure out why, the answer was "STUPID USER!"
I don't know who this "USER" person is, but when I find them...

What kind of car does a farmer drive?
A cornvertable!
I wonder if it runs on pop corn?

Two dogs pass by a parking meter at the curb.
"How do you like that. A pay toilet!"

I don't wish there were more hours in the day, but I could use a few more at night. I'm sleepy.
Think I'll curl up and take a nap now, so everyone take care, have a great week, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 17-23, 2016

TODAY IS REVOLUTION DAY IN EGYPT.

2016 MARKS THE 75th ANNIVERSARY OF WONDER WOMAN.

2016 MARKS THE 50th PRINT ANNIVERSARY OF

VALLEY OF THE DOLLS BY JACQUELINE SUSANN.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*South Korea is concerned that North Korea could hold another nuclear "test" at any time after three missiles landed in the Sea of Japan, near where South Korea is allowing the installation of the Terminal High Altitude Defense system.
*The International Olympics Committee has ruled that, because of previous illegal substance usage, Russia's track and field athletes will not be allowed to compete in the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio.
*Henrik Stenson has won the 2016 Open of professional golf.



TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*A gunman opened fire on police in Baton Rogue, Louisiana, killing 3 and wounding several others. NO International terrorist connections has been found.
*A gunman opened fire in a Munich, Germany shopping mall; killing 9 people and injuring 25+. While other terrorist groups quickly tried to claim responsibility for his actions, authorities have already confirmed the man acted alone and just wanted "to go on a killing spree".
*Bombs and suicidal bombers still seem to be the weapon of choice this past week.

PASSING PARADE...
*The victims of the Munich, Germany shopping mall massacre.
*Record Producer ("Monster Mash") and singer/songwriter Gary S. Praxton (The Hollywood Argyles) has passed away.
*Director, writer, producer, actor Garry Marshall (Happy Days, Pretty Woman, Murphy Brown, etc) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Lewie Steinberg, bassist for Booker T. and the MGs, is no longer with us.
*Actress/dancer Lisa Gaye (Shake, Rattle, and Roll; Rock Around the Clock) has taken her last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...

*Congress has adjourned for a 7 week summer vacation, with among other unfinished business still having yet to even schedule a hearing in regards to President Barack Obama's nomination to the Supreme Court! A choice that the party seems determined not to let him make, despite the United States Constitution saying otherwise.
*Hillary Clinton has announced Virginia Senator Tim Kaine as her Vice Presidential running mate, with the Democratic Convention beginning Monday July 25th.
*A Federal Court has ruled that current Texas Voter ID rules do NOT meet Voter Rights Act regulations and the problem must be corrected before the November election.
AT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION...
*Donald Trump is officially the Republican candidate for President, with Indiana Governor Mike Pence as his Vice Presidential running mate.
*Did Melania Trump plagiarize parts of a previous Michelle Obama speech during the convention???
*The Trump Campaign is also in trouble because they do NOT have rights to music by The Rolling Stones, George Harrison and/or The Beatles,
*While Ted Cruz did give a speech at the convention, he refused to publicly endorse the Trump campaign.
*IF Trump is elected President, does he want to pull the United States out of NATO??? This question arises after China questions other comments from the Republican Party.
*Does Trump also want to "close the Internet"???
*Did a Trump adviser suggest Hillary Clinton should be "shot for treason"???
*Guess why Sarah Palin did NOT attend the Republican Convention.
ELSEWHERE...
*Is a Miami based assisted living facility guilty in bilking Medicare in over $1 BILLION dollars in fraudulent claims?
*Will NASA someday set up mining operations on the moon???

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our ELSEWHERE feature at the bottom of the screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 23, 2016

FUN FACT
Technically, Neptune was the farthest from the sun between 1979-1999 because of its unique orbit. The phenomenon begins again in 2227.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you form out of the letters in SUMMER?
There are a few more than you think.

COMMON BONDS
The items within each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?
01. {Harry George Peter, the lie detector}
02. {Dom DeLuise, Roger Rees} and yes we know they are both actors.

We'll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the July 16, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
While the famous video game character Mario started out life as Jumpman in the first Donkey Kong game, Princess Peach was NOT the first damsel in distress he rescued.
Who DID Mario rescue in that game?
A lady named Pauline.

CRYPTO-CODE: NEW GAME!
It's been a feature of many a puzzle book, so I thought we'd try it here.
A famous movie is encoded below.
Each letter represents a different letter than what's written.
The code is the same throughout the cipher, with a clue provided.
Can you guess what the movie is?

BCA QZWXLBCAD (A =E) The Godfather

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THE QUOTABLE CELEBRITY (celebrity quotes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!

It's been ages since I've last had a chance to post some celebrity quotes, so let's get right to it and as usual, my comments are in italics afterward.

Ready?

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”—Helen Keller.
How true madam. Especially since the Chinese proverb "May you live in interesting times" keeps proving itself very accurate.

Ali, via Wikipedia

"I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion'."—Muhammad Ali.
And while I'm a lover, not a fighter, my hat's off to your prowess in the "squared circle". Once even taking on Superman!

"Always take the high road. The benefits may not be immediate, but they are inevitable."—Author Unknown.
It's also a great route in case of flooding too!

“It may be that when we no longer know which way to go that we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.” —Wendell Berry.
Okay, and "When you come to the fork in the road, take it."—Yogi Berra.

"For success, attitude is equally as important as ability."—Walter Scott.
Some think the answer is actually money and power, but I hope they're wrong.

“Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.”—Erich Fromm.
True, and "Money can't buy me love."—The Beatles.

Lincoln, circa 1863 via Wikipedia

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."—Abraham Lincoln
If you're reading this right now, you're alive. ENJOY THAT LIFE!

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody, and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 10-16, 2016

JULY 17th IS CONSTITUTION DAY IN SOUTH KOREA.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*Over 190 people lost their lives during an attempted military coup in Turkey.
*While the "Brit Exit" from the European Union has yet to officially occur, Theresa May has replaced David Cameron as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and has started forming her new ministry.
*The Permanent Court of Arbitration ruled in favor of the Philippines against China over territorial disputes in the South China Sea, but China has declared the decision null and void, claiming the territory is theirs.
*Japan's Emperor Akihito has announced impending plans to abdicate (retire).
*Archaeologists believe they have discovered an ancient Philistine cemetery in Israel.
*At Wimbledon, Andy Murray won the Men's Singles title. Pierre-Hugues Herbert and Nicolas Mahut won the Men's Double's Championship, while the Williams Sisters won the Women's Double's Title.


TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITES...
*Someone drove a truck into the crowd during a Bastille Day Parade in Nice, France, killing over 80 innocent victims while injuring over 100+. The driver was killed during the attack. Although no official evidence has been found to support the claim, ISIS/ISIL forces are already claiming responsibility for the attack.
*Osama bin Laden's son Hamza has threatened genocide against the United States over his father's death.
*Bombs are still the favorite weapon of terrorists this past week.

PASSING PARADE...
*The 80+ victims of the Bastille Day attack in Nice, France.
*Journalist Sydney Schanberg (portrayed by Sam Waterston in The Killing Fields) has passed away.
*Author Carolyn See (Golden Days, Dreaming: Hard Luck and Good Times in America) is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*Although neither side has yet to hold their convention and make their nominees official, Bernie Sanders has officially ended his campaign by endorsing Hillary Clinton for President. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has named Indiana's Governor Mike Pence as his Vice-Presidential running mate, while Clinton has yet to announce hers.
*The Republican National Convention begins July 18th.
ELSEWHERE...
*The Westboro Baptist "Church" was recently defeated by Pokemon!
*The Federal Bureau of Investigation has officially suspended its search for D. B. Cooper, and will declare the 45 year old mystery unsolved.
*Is America throwing away more food than it eats?
*Doctor Carla Hayden is the new Head Librarian of Congress.
*Herbalife is trying to settle allegations from the US Federal Trade Commission that it is a pyramid scheme.
*Tim Duncan of the San Antonia Spurs has announced his retirement from professional basketball.
*The 2016 Emmy Awards for prime time television have been announced, with several for Game of Thones, Veep, and The People vs. O. J. Simpson.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our ELSEWHERE feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 16, 2016

FUN FACT
Although he was known by that name for the rest of his life, Cassius Clay NEVER legally changed his name to Muhammad Ali!

TRIVIA TIME
Last week, we reported that the famous video game character Mario started out life as Jumpman in the first Donkey Kong game, but that Princess Peach was NOT the first damsel in distress he rescued.
Who DID Mario rescue in that game?

CRYPTO-CODE: NEW GAME!
It's been a feature of many a puzzle book, so I thought we'd try it here.
A famous movie is encoded below.
Each letter represents a different letter than what's written.
The code is the same throughout the cipher, with a clue provided.
Can you guess what the movie is?

BCA QZWXLBCAD (A =E)

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the July 9, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
Which of the Fab Four was the first Beatle to make a "cameo" on The Simpsons?
Ringo Starr.

AKA, Also Known As
Today we know him simply as Mario, but what was the famous video game character originally called?
Jumpman, in his debut during the first Donkey Kong game.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LAZY LAUGHS (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here.

Now, since this is summer vacation from Dragon School time for me, I'm just kicking back on the beach soaking up some healthy (for dragons anyway) sunshine and taking it easy.
But that doesn't mean I'm skipping my turn hosting The Sunday Funnies.

To wit...


I watched some old westerns on TV and honestly believe that a lot of the conflicts in the wild west could have been avoided, if the cowboy architects had planned ahead and made their towns big enough for everyone.

Did you know that there is no red light visible 30 feet underwater?
That's why fish are always running through intersections and never stop for the red light.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Do bakers trade recipes on a kneed to know basis?

Two silk worms raced against each other. It ended in a tie.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day doing nothing.

It's all fun and games until Monday rolls around and you have to go back to work.
Well, at least some of you do. I'm going for a swim.
Yes, I can swim.
More like dragon paddle, but you get the idea.
In any event, have a great week, take care, and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 3-9, 2016

TODAY IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN ARGENTINA.

TODAY MARKS THE 35th ANNIVERSARY OF DONKEY KONG AND MARIO (BUT PRINCESS PEACH WAS NOT THE LADY MARIO RESCUED IN THAT GAME).
JULY 10th IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN THE BAHAMAS.
JULY 14th IS BASTILLE DAY IN FRANCE.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*Although the vote was in favor of them doing so, Great Britain has yet to set a date for departing the European Union. Many wonder if that country will do so after all in the aftermath of the uproar over the outcome of the balloting.
*America and South Korea have agreed to deploy a high altitude missile defense system in that country to counter North Korea's growing use of ballistic missiles and nuclear tests. Meanwhile, North Korea claims US sanctions against them are "a declaration of war".
*Dozens of petty criminals and alleged drug addicts have been killed in the Philippines since President Rodrigo Duterte took office, because he has actively encouraged doing so even during the election.
*Germany's parliament has passed a new law saying that it IS rape to have sex with a person who says "No". Under their previous law, sex was not considered rape unless the victim fought back.
*United States Secretary of State John Kerry is in the Ukraine trying to negotiate peace between that country and Russian separatists who want the Ukraine to return to "Mother Russia".
*The Juno spacecraft has reached Jupiter after its five year journey at the onset of its planetary survey of that world.


TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*The death toll from the previously reported bombing in Baghdad is now over 200.
*ISIS/ISIL forces have started entering Malaysia, with one known bombing incident being their work.
*Bombs, especially those delivered through suicidal users, are still the weapon of choice for ISIS/ISIL forces lately.

PASSING PARADE...
*The five police officers slain in Dallas, Texas, USA.
*Actress Noel Neill (various versions of Superman, An American in Paris) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Actor John McMartin (a long career between television, movies, and Broadway) has taken his last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...

*While the FBI has "reservations" about her actions, no formal charges will be filed against Hillary Clinton in regards to alleged misconduct concerning her e-mails when Secretary of State. Otherwise, all formal investigations by any official government agency have been officially closed except the one just restarted by the State Department.
*Current Secretary of State John Kerry is in the Ukraine trying to negotiate peace between that country and Russian separatists who want the Ukraine to return to "Mother Russia".
*If he doesn't win the Democratic Presidential nomination, the Green Party has offered Bernie Sanders the position on their ticket.
ELSEWHERE...
*Amazon's concerns about counterfeit products grow as the situation worsens.
*Attorneys for professional football Hall of Fame legend Paul Hornung are suing Riddell, the sports equipment manufacturer, stating its helmets failed to protect Hornung from brain injury. Hornung, who has dementia, suffered multiple concussions as a player and his neurodegenerative disease has been linked to repetitive head trauma.
*In the 2016 Wimbledon Championship of professional tennis, Serena Williams has won the Womens' Single's title. The rest of the contests are still in progress.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our ELSEWHERE feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 9, 2016

FUN FACT
Cleveland, Ohio, USA installed the world's first electronic traffic light.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
Which of the Fab Four was the first Beatle to make a "cameo" on The Simpsons?

AKA, Also Known As
Today we know him simply as Mario, but what was the famous video game character originally called?

We'll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results of the July 2, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented by the image below.
Do you know what it is?

"That's what"
—she

That's what she said.

TRIVIA TIME
In which country did the sauna originate?
For some reason, many readers thought it was Sweden, but the answer is actually FINLAND!

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CINEMA CLICHES (movie jokes)

Hello Everybody! Editor-in-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here, for Autumn the Puppy and Waxy Dragon have the 4th of July holiday weekend here in America off.

My topic for subbing on the Sunday Funnies this time shall be movies.

We've all seen them.
The classics.
The special effects laden bombs and blockbusters.
The subtitled masterpieces and yawners.
The originals, the remakes, the remakes of remakes, and the outright spoofs and rip-offs of the remakes...

In any event, have you ever noticed how many cliches seem to occur in movies?

1. Large, loft-style apartments in any major city are well within the price range of most people -- whether they are employed or not.
Guess it's more attractive than living in a flea bag apartment and sharing a bathroom with cockroaches. Although, didn't they make a movie based on that idea too?

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is always evil.
Okay, Cain and Abel might have been the originals, but what do you think the odds are of that pattern continuing year after year after year...

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Right... and if you believe that, I'll be more than happy to sell you some prime beach front property in the middle of the desert.

Only good for playing "Space Invaders".
Do not try to defeat them in real life using this machine!

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
Well, a laptop would at least give you the mobility to run when they started training their weapons on you.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
I'm surprised no one ever set up one of those "Take A Number" machines at the start of one of those fights.


6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
Actually, it's just a question of what filter is over the camera lens at the time, but that would be a neat trick in real life. Wouldn't work in any movie featuring characters from Avatar or the Smurfs, but still...

A Rube Goldberg invention (image via Wikipedia)

7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
Mega villains nowadays must all be fans of Rube Goldberg!

8. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
As much as I enjoy it myself, I didn't realize it was that popular. Then again, you never see something more common like milk, eggs, canned goods, etc; sticking out of that bag.

Personally, what I would really love to see is some truly ORIGINAL plots in movies once more.
Then again, guess they have to cut corners somewhere to cover performer salaries and special effects budgets.
In any event, take care everyone. Have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—lth,jr.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 26-JULY 2, 2016

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, TODAY IS WORLD UFO DAY!

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA CELEBRATES

240 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE JULY 4th.

JULY 5th IS THE 70th ANNIVERSARY OF THE FIRST BIKINI DEBUTING.

AMONG EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*TOYOTA IS RECALLING 1.43 MILLION PRIUS, PRIUS PLUG-IN, AND LEXUS CT200h FROM 2010-2012 BECAUSE OF A POSSIBLE AIRBAG INFLATOR DEFECT.
*TOYOTA HAS ALSO INITIATED THE RECALL OF 2.87 MILLION VEHICLES PRODUCED BETWEEN APRIL 2006 & AUGUST 2015 BECAUSE OF A POTENTIAL PROBLEM WITH THEIR EVAPORATIVE FUEL EMISSIONS CONTROL UNIT.
CONTACT YOUR LOCAL DEALER FOR MORE DETAILS.

*The Constitutional Court of Austria ANNULLED the second round of their Presidential elections this past week, forcing a rescheduling of the event.
*US President Barack Obama and Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto met with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau during a summit of North American leaders in Canada.
*Rodrigo Duterte is now President of the Philippines with Leni Robredo as Vice President. Duterte's first "official" act of office?  Urging Filipino citizens to murder people suspected of using illegal drugs!
*The European Union has extended economic sanctions against Russia until at least January 31, 2017 over their continued support for separatist rebels in the Ukraine.
*The new expansions to the Panama Canal are now open.


"BRIT EXIT"
*Northern Ireland and Scotland's Parliment are considering a veto against Great Britain leaving the European Union because they want to stay in the Union, despite being part of Great Britain and must leave if England does.
*Protesters have started holding demonstrations throughout London over the matter as the petition demanding another vote on the matter has now achieved over 3 MILLION signatures.
*British economy, especially in foreign markets, is already feeling early effects from the potential leave.
*British Prime Minister David Cameron has finalized September 9 as his last day in office at the latest, resigning over the impending departure.
*There is a rumor afloat that just because the last vote on the matter favored leaving doesn't mean Great Britain actually has to.
*Whatever happens, no formal date for "Brit Exit" has been set yet.


TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...

*Terrorists attacked Atatürk Airport in Istanbul, leaving over 40 dead and 230+ injured. The suicide bombers were killed in the attack, but ISIS/ISIL forces have since claimed responsibility for the event.

*Bombs are still a favorite terrorist weapon, with multiple reports of their use against innocent civilians and military targets over the past week.

PASSING PARADE...
*Pat(ricia Sue) Summitt, the winningest coach in college basketball history (1,098 victories) is no longer with us.
*Author Barbara Goldsmith (The Straw Man, Little Gloria–Happy At Last) has passed away.
*Author Alvin Toffler (Future Shock, The Third Wave) is no longer with us.
*Songwriter Bonny Mack Rice ("Mustang Sally", "Respect Yourself") has passed away.
*Scotty Moore, long time guitarist for Elvis Presley, is no longer with us.
*Screenwriter/director Michael Cimino (The Deer Hunter, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, Heaven's Gate) has passed away.
*Elie Wiesel, World War 2 Holocaust survivor, author, and Nobel Peace Prize laureate is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
IKEA IS RECALLING 27 MILLION MALM CHESTS OF DRAWERS IN NORTH AMERICA BECAUSE OF A POSSIBLE SAFETY HAZARD TOWARD CHILDREN.

POLITICALLY...
*After 2 years and over $7 MILLION dollars in expenses, the final results of the Republican investigation into Benghazi? Faulty security, with no mention that Congressional Republicans cut the security budget prior to the attack.
*President Barack Obama and Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto met with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau during a summit of North American leaders in Canada.
*Although still a member short because Congress still refuses to hold hearings on President Barack Obama's nominee to the post, the Supreme Court struck down a Texas State ruling that tried to regulate/eliminate abortions.
*Their previous emissions scandal will cost Volkswagen an estimated $15 BILLION dollars in American settlements.
ELSEWHERE...
*Aerosmith has announced that 2017 will see the beginning of their farewell tour.

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