SUNDAY FUNNIES: FIVE STAR JOKES

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
It's been ages since I've done anything related to celebrities.
But let's try something a little different this time, shall we?

A businessman was complaining to the computer technician about his equipment. “I put three reams of paper into the printer, but it keeps saying ♫just can’t get enough♫"
“Here’s the problem," replied the technician. "It was stuck in Depeche Mode."
"Well, my staff calls our other printer Bob Marley because it keeps jammin’ and is Jamaican them crazy."

Where did county boy John Denver go to school?

Rocky Mountain High.

After returning from Oz, Dorothy and her dog went camping.
One night a storm came up and a strong wind blew their tent away.
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in canvas any more."

Did you know that as a boy, Brutus’ mother often cautioned him not to run with Caesars?✀✂✁

Since no celebrity themed joke fest is complete unless one features him...
Chuck Norris is the only person capable of closing a revolving door!

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers with Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.
"I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.
"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Bach."

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody, and please be back with us again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 28, 2018

😎FUN FACT
Fondly remembered but no long on broadcast television, this year is Schoolhouse Rock’s 45th anniversary!

Between the above and the recent passing of Schoolhouse Rock contributor and jazz musician Bob Dorough, it’s Quiz Time! Ready?

01. When Schoolhouse Rock! first debuted in January 1973, it began with Multiplication Rock!, covering the table from "My Hero Zero" to "Little Twelvetoes".
But what two numbers were skipped?
02. Multiplication Rock! lessons were quickly joined in the weekly rotation with Grammar Rock!
What was the first lesson in that subject?
03. What group of lessons were added in 1975 in time for the bicentennial of the United States?
04. What subject started debuting lessons in 1979 amongst the existing topics?
05. Although the shortest subject because of the ever changing technology field, Computer Rocks! debuted in 1983 with what two recurring characters?
06. Sadly, the series went off the air for a while starting in 1985, but when it returned in the early 1990s, it gained a mascot to introduce the segments. Who was this character?
07. With the series revival, what new subject was introduced amongst the original episodes and new lessons in Grammar Rock!?
08. Sadly, the series went off the air again in 1999 and has only been on DVD (and YouTube) since then. Yet what new subject was covered in the series only straight to DVD release (to date) in 2009?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the April 21, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is tell us the song title. Ready?

♫Where paleface and redskin both turn chicken♫
From the theme to F-Troop (1965-67) by Irving Taylor and William Lava.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

Lucky vehicle accessory?
Spare Wheel of Fortune.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: FROM THE ROUND FILE...

Hello everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here.
No specific theme this weekend. Just thought I'd tell some jokes I found in this weird looking round file cabinet with the open top that sits next to the contributors' desk here at the Free Choice E-zine offices. Ready?

"Waiter, waiter! Do you have frogs' legs?" asked the customer.
"Certainly sir," replied the waiter.
"Then hop on over here and give me a menu. I'm starving!"

The physical training instructor was conducting an exercise class. "I want everyone to lie on their back, put their legs in the air, and start moving them like they were riding a bicycle."
Everyone complied, but about a minute later, one person stopped pedaling.
When the instructor asked why, the exerciser said, "I'm coasting down hill."

A school group was on a field trip to a hospital. The doctor was showing them an X-ray machine and asked if any of them had ever broken a bone. When one little girl raised her hand, the doctor asked if it hurt.
The little girl replied, "No. It was my sister's."

What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal?
Lettuce be.

A receptionist found some money at work. Thinking one of her co-workers lost it, she sent an e-mail to everyone asking if they lost any money recently.
The only reply she received said, "I lost $70 at my poker game last week."

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
One. All the rest look at the performance and say "I could have done that!"

Two goldfish are swimming around in their tank when one turns to the other and asks "Do you know how to drive this thing? We're getting nowhere this way."

Was it Yogi Berra or Yogi Bear who said "It ain't over till it's over"?
Either way, I'm out of space for this weekend.
So have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.
-wd.

AVERY CANAHUATI'S BUCKET LIST (NEWS THAT MAKES YOU THINK)

From time to time, something happens around the world that requires more space and attention than our Week In Review feature can devote to it. The following is one of those events...



We've all heard of the infamous "bucket list": an agenda of the things we've should have done, want to, or need to do before we shuffle off this mortal coil.
But to create and fulfill a bucket list for a child?

With the help of her parents, that is what five month old Avery Canahuati has set out to do.

Avery has been diagnosed with Type 1 Spinal Muscular Atrophy, a currently incurable disease that will disable her internal organs. The best prognosis prevents the young lady from seeing her second birthday.

Laura and Mike Canahuati have set out to not only raise awareness of this disease, but to make young Avery's short life as enriched as it can be. Sitting up, Easter, Halloween, Christmas... ALL the milestones of life that many achieve and some take for granted are to be experienced and cherished in whatever time Avery has left upon this world.

Avery (via her parents) recently blogged about having her first kiss, from a 19 month old boy who is also facing  the end of his life due to Spinal Muscular Atrophy.

While unfortunately the very last item on Avery's list, surviving the disease, will not be accomplished within her lifetime because current research is far from a cure, the Canahuatis hope that the blog AVERY CAN will raise awareness of Spinal Muscular Atrophy and new funding towards finding the answers to defeat this disease.

You can read Avery's blog at http://averycan.blogspot.com

Ms. Canahuati also has a Facebook page that you can visit.

Let us hope that where Avery leaves off, others not only continue the battle against Spinal Muscular Atrophy, but realize that life itself is the most precious gift we are ever given, and should be lived to the fullest.


The Free Choice E-zine would like to thank Lauren Sher of the ABC News Blogs for the initial Internet post that brought this story to our attention and wish Avery and her parents all the best in a bad situation.
lh,jr

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 28, 2012

Another weekend is upon us, and you know what that means.

AKA (also known as)
ANOTHER new puzzle to join our rotating cast of enigmas!
We'll give you an alternate name for something, and you have to know what it's mostly known as.
Ready?

This classic comedy routine has been called by one of its original performers as "The Thesaurus Sketch".

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate things share at least one common word so that they can combine to make a new entity.
From the clue below, do you know what it is?

A meal deal in Margaritaville?


We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's peek inside THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from April 21's Puzzle Corner which was themed in honor of our Editor-In-Chief's trip to Pulp Ark 2012.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?

Basically, one of the items below is somewhat different than the other two. Do you know who the proverbial odd man out is and why?

{The Shadow, Doc Savage, Tarzan}

THERE ARE THREE POSSIBLE ANSWERS TO THIS!

When I first created this puzzle, my original answer was (1.) The Shadow, because that character started out on radio as the mysterious host of the Detective Story Hour  before becoming a pulp star, unlike the other two, who started their distinguished careers directly in the pulps.

HOWEVER, while at Pulp Ark 2012, Doctor Art Sippo pointed out to me that Tarzan could be the odd man out for two different reasons.

(2.)Both The Shadow and Doc Savage were published by Street and Smith/Codne Nast while Tarzan started his print career at All Story Magazine, published by Frank Munsey.

(3.)PLUS: All the Shadow and Doc Savage stories were published under house names. Mostly written by Walter B. Gibson, all the Shadow stories were accredited to Maxwell Grant. Lester Dent created most of the Doc Savage tales, despite the fact that all were accredited to Kenneth Robeson. Every original Tarzan tale of the day was written by the Jungle Lord's creator: Edgar Rice Burroughs.

THE FIFTY-FIFTY CHANCE

True or False: The Shadow is really Lamont Cranston.

FALSE!! While other media have simplified the answer to The Shadow just being Cranston, he is really Kent Allard pretending to be Lamont Cranston (the real one actually spent most of the series in Europe) when not actively fighting evil as The Shadow.