SUNDAY FUNNIES: KNOCK KNOCK, AGAIN

 Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Koda?

Koda who?

Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here.

It's been quite a while since I've done this last, but I thought I'd try my paw again at telling Knock Knock jokes.

Ready?

Knock, knock.

Who's There?

Ashe.

Ashe who?

Bless you!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Nobel.

Nobel who?

There is no bell🔕, that's why I knocked!

What? Did you think you were going to get a prize for answering the door?

Knock, knock.

Please Knock Politely.

Who's There?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and you'll find out!

Knock, Knock.

Whose there?

Wooden Shoe.

Wooden Shoe who?

Wooden Shoe like to know!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Little Old Lady.

Little Old Lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Tank.

Tank Who?

You're welcome!

Who's there?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Hoot, hoot.

Hoot, hoot, who?

Are you an owl?🦉

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Hawaii.

Hawaii who?

I'm fine. Hawaii you?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Orange. 🟠

Orange who?

Orange you ever going to open the door!

Of course you should never open the door to an unknown stranger.

I'm just strange, for a dog, but that's besides the point.

So with that Public Service Safety Tip, it's time for me to say take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—KC.

♫WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!♫ (an editorial rally)

THE FOLLOWING IS AN EDITORIAL.

Folks, the United States of America is far from the only country facing the pandemic known at COVID-19/Coronavirus.

These are some VERY trying times for every citizen of the world, and the efforts of everyone on the proverbial "front lines" in the various sectors of the medical profession cannot go unnoticed or unacknowledged.

When all this is over, and at some point it WILL be, I hope there is some kind of MEDICAL PRACTITIONERS' APPRECIATION DAY.
Okay, the name needs work but the concept is solid.

In the meantime, we must all continue to pull together not only as family units amongst ourselves, but as counties, cities, states, countries and, most importantly AN UNITED EARTH!

With that in mind I've been thinking, among other things, about a potential rallying song to attempt lifting everyone's spirits.
There are a LOT of possibilities.

Yet in the end, there was only one tune that I personally thought was most appropriate to unite us all.

♫We Are The Champions♫ by Queen because let's face it, we're all in this fight together, and together is the only way we will be victorious!

STAY SAFE AND STRONG EVERYONE!

Lee Houston, Junior
Editor-In-Chief The Free Choice E-zine
7 April, 2020

♫We are the Champions♫ written, performed, and © copyrighted by Queen/The Freddie Mercury Estate.
Video accessed and shared through YouTube via Google/Blogger.

THE ABOVE WAS AN EDITORIAL.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HOLY COW!

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
We all know the classic nursery rhyme accredited to Mother Goose.

Hey, diddle, diddle.
The cat🐱 and the fiddle.
The cow🐄 jumped over the moon.🌝
The little dog🐶 laughed to see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.🥄

But have you ever stopped to actually think about it?
Mother Goose certainly had one very active imagination!
As a fellow canine, I can just picture any dog laughing upon witnessing the events of the poem happening before them.
That is, when they weren't busy chasing that darn cat!

But can you just imagine a cow making any kind of jump, let alone clearing the moon?
After all, cows are certainly not that aerodynamical!
I know one thing for sure.
When it was all over, the dog would certainly joke about that night. To wit...

Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer’s hands were cold.

What do you call a cow that doesn't jump over the moon?
Normal.

Just imagine a herd of Cows out in a field running around and practicing their leaping.
I can just hear a bull shout, “Come on ladies! If you can’t leap over these fences, how are you going to leap over the moon? You'll be an udder failure!"

Yet, what might happen if a cow was actually able to jump that far?
Does it crash into an UFO?
"I'm sorry officer," the alien says to the space cop, "but whatever that thing is just jumped out right in front of me!"

Once the cow does successfully make the leap, does it just keep sailing into outer space? That might explain how we wound up in the Milky Way galaxy.
Or would the cow land on the moon and take a long rest before making the jump back to Earth?
That would certainly explain where the man in the moon got the milk🥛 to make the green cheese🧀 the moon is allegedly made of. 😉
Of course, depending upon the bovine's travel agent, if the cow manages to book a round trip flight, how does the cow safely make reentry without burning up, or does everyone enjoy a very well done steak that night?

Then again, maybe I've just got too much time on my paws waiting for Spring to finally arrive while I'm cooped up with my people in their house.
In any event, have a good week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 7, 2018

😎FUN FACT
The brain can acknowledge pain anywhere within your body, but the organ cannot actually feel it.

TRIVIA TIME
How many of the United States of America are NOT participating in Daylight Saving Time?

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, only there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
True or False: Koalas only eat eucalyptus leaves.

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the March 31, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
Who is accredited with creating what we know today as baseball?
Abner Doubleday.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
Considering what April 1 was, how many new words can you form out of the letters in EASTER?
A, are, arse, art(s), as, Aster (type of flower), at, ate
Ear(s), east, eat(s)
Rat(s), rest, reseat, reset
Sat, sea, sear, seat, see, seer, set, star, star, stare, steer
Tar(s), tare(s), tea(s), tear(s), tease, teaser, tee(s), terse
More than the 43 listed above might be possible.

HUH?

The following is an editorial.

There are a lot of things in this world that don't make sense to me

and I will not even pretend to understand them.

Case in point.

Today (April 7, 2017) is World Health Awareness Day, sponsored by the World Health Organization, where the people of Earth are encouraged to make sure they are living as healthy a life as possible, if they're not already doing so.

Meanwhile, here in the United States of America, it is also National Beer Day.

If you ask me, the two seem to totally contradict each other.

Then again, I'll only be celebrating the first one anyway. 

The above was an editorial.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WHY, WHY, WHY?

Puzzled

Hello everybody. Ms. Waxy Dragon here.
Now, despite what some people might say (I am NOT stealing dark chocolate when no one is looking!), I am a good dragon.
I go to dragon school every day and try my best, but you humans are a really difficult species to understand, but each day just leaves  me with more questions than answers.

For example:
*Why do you press harder on the remote control when you know that the batteries are going dead?
Then again, a smart human would have put a battery life indicator somewhere on the remote control to begin with so there would be no doubt. But is it that hard to get up and change a channel yourself?

*Why do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money to begin with?
Are they that dumb or that greedy?

*Why do you believe a person when they say there are over four billion stars in the universe (and for the record, no one knows for sure. A couple of the wiser dragons tried to count them all once, but lost count somewhere around five billion and seven), but you always have to check for yourself when the sign says "wet paint"?
Did you not want to be late to actually watch the paint dry? If so, you need a more exciting life in this dragon's humble opinion.

*How do the dead bugs manage to get into those enclosed light fixtures?
I mean, I know the bugs were alive when they went in and the light zapped them. But from my point of view, it's hard enough getting those light fixtures open so I can eat the dead bugs. Seriously though: HOW did the bugs get in there to begin with?

Well, starting to think of all those yummy bugs is making me hungry, so I'm going to fly off and find something to eat. Take care everybody, and please join us next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-wd.