Sunday, June 28, 2009

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: JUNE 28th, 2009

Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
With Summer upon us, I thought I would share some 'fun in the sun' jokes with everyone.
Ready?

What do cats enjoy on a hot summer day?
A mice cream cone.

What is green and goes to a summer camp?
A Brussels' scout!

What is a monster's favorite summer drink?
Ghoul-aid.

What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.

What did the sea say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved.

Well, unfortunately that's it for this weekend.
But don't forget, Sunday August 2nd is the first (Inter)National "Don't Worry" Day!
Be there or be square!
And I'll be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 21-27, 2009

*Although the choice of photographers for decades, the Eastman-Kodak company announced this week that it is suspending production of Kodachrome film.
*The U.S. House of Representatives this week passed the Climate Control Bill, although Republicans are referring to it as potentially the biggest job killing bill ever; which is kind of strange considering that it was the last Republican administration that seriously reduced the authority of the Environmental Protection Agency. In any event, the measure still needs to pass through the Senate before going on to the President for approval.
*Although it has not used its formal name in decades, there is a measure going through the Rhode Island and Providence Plantations state legislature to officially shorten the name to just the more commonly used Rhode Island.
*In Sports, Major League Baseball concludes the first round of Inter League play this weekend, and has announced that President Barack Obama will throw out the ceremonial first pitch at the 2009 All-Star Game, making him the first U.S. President since Gerald Ford to do so.

The news has been all over the place this week, but The Free Choice e-zine would be remiss in its duties to not report the following obituaries:
*Ed McMahon, the famous co host of Johnny Carson's Tonight Show and other television programs as diverse as the annual Muscular Dystrophy Association Labor Day Telethon and Alf's Hit Talk Show, passed away Tuesday.
*Farrah Fawcett, model/actress, best known on television for Charlie's Angels although performed in several well received dramatic roles including The Burning Bed and Small Sacrifices, lost her battle to cancer on Thursday.
*Michael Jackson, musician/actor, who started out life as a member of the Jackson 5 before creating a memorable solo career, passed away later on Thursday of a heart attack. Authorites are currently investigating the circumstances surrounding his death.

For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of the screen.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 27, 2009

In light of recent events, we have a specially themed Puzzle Corner this weekend.

TRIVIA TIME
1. Ed McMahon first met/worked with Johnny Carson where?
2. What was Farrah Fawcett's first television appearance outside of commercials?
3. What was Michael Jackson's first Number 1 solo hit?

COMMON BONDS
Believe it or not, all three of the recently departed have something specific in common. What is it?

The answers will appear next weekend, but for now, here are the results from June 20th's Puzzle Corner...

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
RACE, ACRE, CARE

THE FIFTY-FIFTY CHANCE
Yes, there really was an Oscar Mayer! German immigrant Oskar Mayer founded the famous meat company with his brother Gottfried in 1900.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: JUNE 21st, 2009

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

In honor of our male parent, our resident comedienne Ms. Waxy Dragon has provided us with some Fatherly jokes.

If he owns one, what is on a Father's I-Pod?
Pop music.

When the father was his child's age, some history was actually current events.

A company once held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."
______________________________________________________

But seriously folks, Fathers come in all shapes and sizes.
Not every male makes it to Fatherhood, and even some who do should never have been given the position to begin with.
Yet despite all the absenteeism and other bad stuff reported in the news and dramatized elsewhere, being not only a Father, but a Dad, is a noble undertaking that many uphold and perform honorably to the best of their abilities.

So here's to the Fathers of the world who stay in the trenches and see their children through life.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DEAR DAD!

lhjr and wd

Saturday, June 20, 2009

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 20, 2009

Another Saturday is upon us. While this is an opportunity for some to kick back and relax, the mind is always active, so let's give it something to do.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
A NASCAR competition can also provide a land measure and a hospital service.
Do you know the other two words that can be derived from the first?

THE FIFTY-FIFTY CHANCE
This is just like TRIVIA TIME, but there are only two possible answers, so you have a chance to get it right. Ready?

True or False: There really was an Oscar Mayer behind the Oscar Mayer brand line.

The answers will appear next weekend. But now, the results from June 13th's Puzzle Corner...

TRIVIA TIME
The original Star Trek television series.

COMMON BONDS
{Group 1} As one of two Riddler portrayers (John Astin was the other), a Catwoman (along with Lee Meriwether and Eartha Kitt), The Siren, and The Joker; Frank Gorshin, Julie Newmar, Joan Collins, Cesar Romero respectively all acted as villains on the classic Batman television series.
But only Gorshin (as Bele from the episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"), Newmar (as Eleen in "Friday's Child"), and Collins (as Edith Keeler in "City On The Edge Of Forever") have guest starred on the original Star Trek television series. {Group 2}

WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 14-20, 2009

*Civil unrest continues in Iran over their recent Presidential election results.
*Nestle is recalling ALL their products involving Toll House Cookie Dough as a precaution while the company investigate claims of possible E Coli contamination.
*The "Cash for Clunkers" bill has passed Congress and awaits President Barack Obama's signature to enact it into law. The bill would give those owning older cars with poor gas mileage a credit of up to $4500 towards trading in their vehicle on a better car between August and October 2009.
*Billionaire Allen Stanford and three associates have been indicted on accusations arising from an alleged pyramid scheme that prosecutors claim has conned unsuspecting investors out of an estimated SEVEN BILLION DOLLARS!
Meanwhile, in Sports...
*The Boston Red Sox celebrated their 500 consecutive sell out at Fenway Park this week.
*The LA Lakers beat the Orlando Magic to claim the 2009 NBA Basketball Championship.
*The Pittsburgh Penguins defeated the Detroit Red Wings to claim the 2009 Stanley Cup title in hockey.
For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of the screen.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: JUNE 14, 2009

Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
In today's installment of Pearls Before Swine, Stepahn Pastis did a wonderful pun today based upon the results of a watermelon seed contest.
I just thought I'd share some other puns with you.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

You're stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

That's it for this week folks! See you next weekend for more SUNDAY FUNNIES!
And don't forget: Sunday, August 2nd is the first (Inter)National "Don't Worry" Day!
Be there or be square! wd. >^;^<

Saturday, June 13, 2009

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 7-13, 2009

*The Federal Food and Drug Administration has now been granted regulatory powers over how cigarettes and other tobacco products are marketed.
*After convicting two United States reporters on charges of espionage and sentencing them to 12 years in a (hard?) labor camp, North Korea now vows to formally weaponize its plutonium stockpile.
*Although America has not been hit as hard as other countries, the World Health Organization has declared the Swine Flu a pandemic.
*Current Iraqi President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has apparently won reelection, but supporters of challenger Mir Hossein Mousavi are questioning the results.
*And why is insurance giant AIG refusing to pay claims resulting from the plane crash in Hudson Bay earlier this year?

Meanwhile, in Entertainment:
*Carrie Pryean has been replaced by Tami Farrell as Miss California in the Miss USA beauty pageant. While Ms. Pryean believes it was because of her opinions, pageant officials claim it was because she did not honor her contractual commitments.
*The television industry finally made the switch from analog to digital signals June 12th.
*And how did a Missouri family's Christmas photo become part of an advertising campaign for a supermarket chain in Prague?
For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of the screen.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 13, 2009

Another weekend, and you know what that means all you puzzle lovers!

TRIVIA TIME
When trying to sell it to the networks, what TV series was billed (amongst other things) as a "Wagon Train to the stars"?

COMMON BONDS
The items in each group have something in common.
Your task is to figure out what.
Group 1. {Frank Gorshin, Julie Newmar, Joan Collins, Cesar Romero}
Group 2. {Frank Gorshin, Julie Newmar, Joan Collins}

The answers will appear next weekend, just like the answers for June 6th are present now.

TRIVIA TIME
With 28 installments thus far, most between the 1940s-1950s, the Blondie movies (based upon the comic strip) is the longest film franchise.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
The open display when a scale does its primary function, might make you feel this?
Open display = OVERT
A scale's primary function = WEIGH
(OVERT) + (WEIGH) = OVERWEIGHT

Friday, June 12, 2009

ON WITH THE SHOW?

A lot of TV viewers woke up this morning to no signal/reception problems whatsoever, and have gone about their normal viewing routine.
Others were not as fortunate.
This is the day that all television stations finally converted from analog to digital broadcasting, after months of warning people to get a converter box and digital antenna, even to the point of pushing back the date from its original February conversion.
If you have cable or a satellite dish, you have no problem.
But if you were just watching traditional television via an aerial, then you will have to pick up a converter box (if for some reason your set is not already digital capable) and a digital receiver (antenna).
Then after hooking up your new equipment, you will still need to let the television search for the channels, for not every station stayed where it was in analog numbering system.

For more information, you can call 1-888-CALL-FCC (Federal Communications Commission) or go to www.dtv.gov

Sunday, June 7, 2009

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: JUNE 7th, 2009

With nothing of any significance to say, I'm turning this weekend's post over to our resident comedienne. You have been warned.--lhjr.

Hello Everybody. Ms. Waxy Dragon here. Now despite the fact that I'm just a 3 year old baby dragon (although some people claim that I am just one amongst many avatars of an avid Internet surfer, and wherever they got that idea from they're all wet!) I do know the difference between up and down, as well as all the other directions. Sure comes in handy when you're flying.
Maybe it's because of my age or the fact that I'm a baby dragon while most of you are human beings. You are human beings, right? If you're too busy being human right now you can come back later and finish reading this.
But any way you look at it, I know I still have a lot to learn in life.

Like for example, how can a Number 2 pencil be the most popular? Did the Number 1 pencil flunk a steroid test or something?

And if a person has kleptomania, should they take something for it? It kind of defeats the purpose if they do, doesn't it?

Now there is still some debate as to whether or not red meat is bad for you. But even I know that fuzzy green meat that has been sitting around too long is bad for you! It's spoiled! GET RID OF IT!

Everyone says not to sweat the petty things in life. Well I can assure you of one thing right now. You definitely do not want to pet the sweaty things in life either! *PU!*

And did you know that a lot of the money used in the global economy is tainted?
It 'taint yours and it 'taint mine!

Well, that's it for this week's Sunday Funnies! See you next weekend!
And don't forget that August 2nd is the First Annual (Inter)National "Don't Worry!" Day!
Take care everyone, and have a great week!--wd

Saturday, June 6, 2009

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MAY 31-JUNE 6, 2009

*Today is the 65th anniversary of D-Day, whereupon the Allied Forces launched an all out offensive to attack the Axis Powers at the beaches of Normandy, France. Although many good men lost their lives, this event was the turning point that (thankfully) eventually led the Allies to winning World War II and discovering ALL the atrocities committed by the Nazis.
In other news...
*Today is also the 25th anniversary of Tetris.
*This past week we lost famed Fantasy writer David Eddings to natural causes and actor David Caradine was found dead in his hotel room while overseas in Bangkok filming a movie. Police are still investigating the Carradine situation, for although they have yet to officially declare it a murder investigation, they apparently are no longer confident calling Carradine's passing a suicide.
*Meanwhile in Sports, this week saw Terry Francona accredited with his 500th career victory as manager of the Boston Red Sox, while current San Francisco Giant's pitcher Randy Johnson earned his 300th career win.
For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of the screen.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 6th, 2009

It's the weekend all you lucky puzzle fans!

TRIVIA TIME
Since I have no interest in trying to compute all the figures into current economic values, what has been the most successful movie franchise in terms of the number of actual installments?
Or, to put it another way, which film series has had the most movies in it?

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
Do you know the two five letter words indicated within the clue, that when rearranged, make the actual ten letter answer to the question below?

The open display when a scale does its primary function, might make you feel this.

The answers will appear within next week's Puzzle Corner, just as the conundrums from last week are resolved now.

TRIVIA TIME
Ironically, comedian Redd Foxx's given name was John Leroy Sanford, although the TV series Sanford and Son was an American adaptation of the British comedy Steptoe and Son. The series did acknowledge its origins by having the Sanfords live on Steptoe Street.

REBUS
A needle in a hay stack.