Monday, April 19, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: TECHNOLOGY TICKLERS

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Unfortunately, a problem with The Free Choice E-zine's Internet servers kept me from posting before now.
Isn't technology wonderful? 😉
And by an amazing coincidence...

Times certainly have changed.
100 years ago two brothers announced they could fly.
They were Wright. 
And look at everything that's developed since then.
From the portable computers and cellphones first theorized on the original Star Trek to all the conveniences of modern life as we know it today.
Provided we have electricity, a full battery charge, or enough bars to do what we want.
So if you haven't guessed the theme of my post for today...

There's life without the Internet?
The computer crashed! Can I get a new one?
Really?
Send me the link.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family.
They seem like good people.

Modern intelligence deduces that if all bathrooms in your house are taken and you need to "go", turn off the Internet.

Yes of course I am athletic.
I surf🏄 the Internet every day. 

If you think patience is a virtue, then try surfing the net without high speed Internet. 

Dear Humans,
In case you've forgotten, I used to be your Internet.
Sincerely, The Library.
The first cellphone?
Dear Sleep:
Thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net. 

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
Nine hours later...
What do you mean it's time to get up? I just went to bed a couple of minutes ago!

Sleeping on my keyboard while still online.
If I answer, I'm texting in my sleep. 

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!

And here's a link to something very poignant... LINK.

On that note♫, have a great week everybody!
Take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!AtP.

Saturday, April 17, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 11-17, 2021

BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

APRIL 21 IS ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONALS DAY.
APRIL 22 IS EARTH🌍 DAY.
APRIL 22 IS ALSO TAKE YOUR CHILD TO WORK DAY.
APRIL 25 IS WORLD PENGUIN🐧 DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌏RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Are there problems with the Johnson and Johnson vaccine??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of April 17, 2021.
*The illegal military police state of Myanmar continues. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*And the winner of the 2021 Masters Golf🏌 Tournament is…

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*Japan plans to dump more radioactive water into the Pacific Ocean! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*April 22 is Earth Day.🌎 Remember, we only have the one planet to live on. TAKE CARE OF IT!
*April 25 is World Penguin🐧 Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Daunte Wright of Minneapolis, Minnesota (USA) April 11.
*Actor/stuntman Felix Silla (originated Cousin Itt on The Addams Family and Twiki on Buck Rogers, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Famed, former professional football🏈 player William “Red” Mack has passed away.
*Noted movie makeup artist Giannetto De Rossi (original Dune, more) is no longer with us.
*Actor Joseph Siravo (The Sopranos, American Crime Story, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Noted con man Bernie Madoff has passed away.
*Internet Media personality Adam Perkins is no longer with us.
*Actress Helen McCrory (The Queen, Harry Potter franchise, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Famed former professional basketball🏀 player/coach Bobby Leonard has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player turned actor/singer Harold Bradley, Junior (Barabbas, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Lee Aaker (The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin, High Noon, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Designer Robert Fletcher (Star Trek franchise, much more) is no longer with us.
*Hall of Fame former professional football🏈 player Leroy Keyes has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*The “Big Lie” can’t withstand the truth, or lawsuits.
POLITICALLY…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Daunte Wright in Minneapolis, April 11; but the officer’s resignation does NOT prevent charges being filed against her. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Are there problems with the Johnson and Johnson vaccine??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Republican Jim Jordan versus Doctor Fauci. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Oh come on. Seriously???
*Are Republicans losing Corporate support because of voters’ rights suppression??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*And the winner of the 2021 Masters Golf🏌 Tournament is...
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 17, 2021

😎FUN FACT
With apologies to Chuck Jones, real life coyotes are FASTER than road runners!

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What was Ann Margret’s television📺 debut?

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
What number(s) has/have the same amount of letters as its value?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the April 10, 2021 Puzzle Corner.
WHO AM I?
Can you identify the person (real or fictitious) based upon the clue below?
“She was the most glorious creature, under the sun. Weiss, DuBarry, Garbo. Rolled into one.”
That’s Groucho’s intro to ♫Lydia the Tattooed Lady♫ from The Marx Brothers’ At The Circus.🎪🎪

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇
What was The Who’s first single?
♫I Can’t Explain♫ in 1965!

Sunday, April 11, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: RAINY DAY HUMOR (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
Stuck in the house today (not that I'd be anywhere else since I am a house cat) because it's been raining all day. ☔
I'll spare you that dumb joke about it raining cats🐈 and dogs🐕 because I stepped in a poodle🐩.
That's not only an insult to both your intelligence and mine, but it isn't kind to the animals involved.
Purrsonally, I don't mind the rain.
The yard needs to be watered. I'm tired of looking at all those dead, bare patches in the dirt.

Anyway...
Thankfully it's been a gentle rain, meaning no thunder or lightning, let alone the (high) winds.
I mean, all you have to do is look out any window and see it's raining. Do you really need all the other special effects as well?
But in any event, it's time for the jokes folks!

Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking and letting it hit someone else.

The leaders of any team at a person's job should wear capes.
Cowboy Cafe

That way everyone will know that they are the Super Visors.

Are you aware that Bees🐝 are smarter than Flies?
I mean, Bees🐝 certainly don’t waste any time trying to explain to Flies that honey🍯 tastes better than poop.💩

It has been this cat's😸 observation within my nine lives that people are funny.
Recently some are worried about being hacked, eavesdropped on, and who knows what else, yet they have no problem shouting into a box at a Drive-Thru establishment in hopes that whoever is behind the counter actually gets their To Go Order right.

If you were to send a text saying "Hey, I lost my phone📱. Can you call it?"
I wonder how many people would actually do so?
Okay, think about that for a moment.
I'll wait.

Got it?
Moving on...
A bookkeeper knew that balloon🎈 has two pairs of letters together, LL and OO, and asked if there was a word with three pairs of letters together?
I replied, "Yes, you're it."
It took a while before the bOOKKEEper understood, so I'm just glad that guy isn't doing my taxes!

On that note♫, have a great week everybody!
Take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

Saturday, April 10, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 4-10, 2021

BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

APRIL 12 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF
YURI GARAGIN BECOMING THE FIRST MAN IN SPACE.
APRIL 13 IS THE BEGINNING OF RAMADAN FOR THOSE OBSERVING.
APRIL 13 IS ALSO INTERNATIONAL PLANT APPRECIATION DAY.
APRIL 14 IS DOLPHIN🐬 DAY.
APRIL 15 IS YON HA’ATZMAUT FOR THOSE OBSERVING.
APRIL 15 IS WORLD ART🎨 APPRECIATION DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Cases rise as vaccinations continue. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*Even if they manage to hold the delayed Summer Olympics this year, North Korea will not be attending.
*Global status, as of April 10, 2021.
*Russian Presidents, including current office holder Vladimir Putin, will now be serving longer terms.
*The coup and the protests continue in Myanmar. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*And the winning rider in the 2021 Grand National Horse🏇 Race is...
*April 17th marks the 60th anniversary of the failed Bay of Pigs invasion.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*April 13 is International Plant Appreciation Day, the prelude to Earth Day April 22.
*April 14 is Dolphin Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Noted New Pulp author Derrick Ferguson has passed away.
*April the Giraffe🦒 has passed away.
*Actress Gloria Henry (TV’s Dennis the Menace, other works) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Paul Ritter (James Bond’s Quantum of Solace, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Writer and noted Mad magazine contributor Frank Jacobs is no longer with us.
*Actor Padmanabhan Balachandran (Gandhi, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Voice actor Mark Elliot is no longer with us.
*Actor James Hampton (F Troop, Teen Wolf, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Comedy writer Anne Beatts (Square Pegs, National Lampoon, more) has passed away.
*Actor Walter Olkewicz (Twin Peaks, Grace Under Fire, Seinfeld, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Grammy winning rapper DMX (Earl Simmons) is no longer with us.
*Columnist Paul Greenberg has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*The lawsuits against former “President” Trump over this mess are growing!
POLITICALLY…
*Trying to resolve problems in America the Trump Administration never addressed: hunger and gun control. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: The Republican Party is losing military voter support, and members too! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Just what’s going on in Arkansas??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*The Prosecution’s impending case against Florida’s Republican Congressional Representative Matt Gaetz. (There are 5/FIVE separate links in this item.)
*It’s only a study, NOT a decision.
*Opinion: Mitch McConnell’s future agenda??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*And the winners of the 2021 Screen Actors’ Guild Awards are...
*Sadly, April 12th marks the 160th anniversary of the American Civil War beginning.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 10, 2021

😎FUN FACT
Every Panda🐼 in captivity (zoos) is technically owned by China and only out on loan to those facilities.

WHO AM I?
Can you identify the person (real or fictitious) based upon the clue below?
“She was the most glorious creature, under the sun. Weiss, DuBarry, Garbo. Rolled into one.”

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇
What was The Who’s first single?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the April 3, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
A famous rock group’s bad dreams = Three Dog Nightmares.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you make out of the letters in EASTER?
Hint: There’s more than you think.
A, are, arse, art(s), as, Aster (type of flower), at, ate
Ear(s), East, eat(s)
Rat(s), rest, reseat, reset
Sat, sea, sear, seat, see, seer, set, star, star, stare, steer
Tar(s), tare(s), tea(s), tear(s), tease, teaser, tee(s), terse
More than the 43 listed above might be possible.

Sunday, April 4, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HOPPY EASTER 2021

Hello Every Bunny!
Looking good with my gray hare. 😉
It's your old friend E.B. the Easter Bunny here, bringing everyone some fun Easter jokes.
Don't worry. Not only am I great at stealth deliveries, I was EXTRA careful this year because of that bad pandemic going around.
I had my mask😷 and gloves on during the entire trip.

Anyway, I've been told that Autumn the Puppy and Piper D. Katt have the holiday off to be with their families.
If you had to work today, unless you're in the military, law enforcement, fire prevention, or medical industries; shame on your employers!

And especially to those folks in the medical field, we tip our bonnets to you!
Anyway, these are the yolks, folks!

Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

Who is the Easter Bunny's favorite movie actor?
Currently, it's Rabbit Downey Junior, but of course Bugs Bunny always takes the carrot cake paws down.

Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke?
It might crack up!

How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?
Only one. After that it’s not empty anymore!

What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?
The Easter Barney.
Everybody Bunny Hop! 🐇🐇🐇

What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
Hare mail.

What do you call a group of rabbits marching backward?
A receding hare line!

What is the bunny motto?
"Don't worry, be hoppy."

What’s the best way to make Easter easier?
Put an “i” where the “t” is.

How does Easter end?
With an “R”!

What am I the day after Easter?
Eggshausted! 😉
So on that note♫ it's been fun folks!
As usual I'm gonna hop home, kick back, relax, hang out with the Mrs., the family and my peeps🐣🐤🐥 and take a well deserved carrot🥕 break before I start planning things for next Easter.

Don't worry though.
While I can't say exactly when, things WILL get better.😀
Until then, STAY STRONG, STAY SAFE😷, and HOPPY EASTER EVER BUNNY!eb.🐰

Saturday, April 3, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 28-APRIL 3, 2021


♫LIFE IS VERY SHORT AND THERE’S NO TIME FOR FUSSING AND FIGHTING MY FRIEND.♫
"We Can Work It Out" by The Beatles.



BEWARE ANY VERSION

APRIL 4 IS EASTER AND PASSOVER, FOR THOSE OBSERVING.
APRIL 6 IS TARTAN DAY & LIBRARY WORKERS’ DAY.
APRIL 8 IS YOM HA SHOAH FOR THOSE OBSERVING.
THE FRAZZ COMIC STRIP CELEBRATED ITS 20TH ANNIVERSARY APRIL 2.
2021 IS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF LUCAS FILMS. (Star Wars came later.)

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The Sudan is moving closer to democracy. Hong Kong isn’t. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*As the coup continues, diplomats are leaving Myanmar. But why open fire at a funeral??? (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*US President Joseph Biden has lifted International Criminal Court sanctions imposed by his predecessor against several members of its personnel.
*April 5 marks the 400th anniversary of the Mayflower leaving Plymouth Rock, Massachusetts (USA) on its first return trip back to England.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent victims—including a 9 year old boy!—of the Orange, California (USA) mass shooting March 31.
*2014 Physics Nobel Prize winner Isamu Akasaki is no longer with us.
*Noted author/journalist Leon Hale has passed away.
*Former professional hockey🏒 player Bobby Schmautz is no longer with us.
*Actress Myra Frances (Survivors, Doctor Who, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional baseball⚾ player Ken Reitz has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
*President Joseph Biden has lifted International Criminal Court sanctions imposed by his predecessor against several members of its personnel.
*Cleaning up Trump messes with the Military and the EPA. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*The challenges of President Biden’s economic recovery plan in Congress, especially against the Republicans. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*House of Representatives member Matt Gaetz (Republican-Florida) is currently under investigation for allegations of sex with minor(s), precuring sex for others, and may not stop with just him! (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*April 5 marks the 155th anniversary of Congress successfully overturning then President Andrew Jackson's veto to enact 1866’s Civil Rights Act.
ELSEWHERE…
*WHY???
*Trump's con that keeps taking and taking and taking... (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…


THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE WOULD LIKE TO THANK ITS LOYAL READERSHIP FOR GRANTING US 4,543 PAGE VIEWS IN MARCH 2021.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 3, 2021

😎FUN FACT
Mars is the only planet whose current population is entirely robotic, that we can swear to.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
A famous rock group’s bad dreams = ???

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you make out of the letters in EASTER?
Hint: There’s more than you think.

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the March 27, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
Manufacturers started adding iodine to table salt in 1924. WHY?
As an attempt to reduce the number of people suffering from goiters, which proved successful to continue the practice to this day.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
Which team did the most movies together: Robert Redford and Paul Newman or Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau?
It was JACK LEMMON AND WALTER MATTHAU with The Fortune Cookie, The Odd Couple, The Front Page, Buddy Buddy, Grumpy Old Men, Grumpier Old Men, Out to Sea, and The Odd Couple 2. Both also appeared in JFK but had no scenes together. Lemmon directed Matthau in Kotch but never appeared on camera.
Robert Redford and Paul Newman only did 2 memorable films together: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid along with The Sting.

Thursday, April 1, 2021

NEWS FOR APRIL 1, 2021

Normally The Free Choice E-zine does not run advertisements beyond Public Service Announcements and the few we are stuck with that come attached to the occasional gadget we include for our readers benefit, but this was just too important to pass up.

There is an energy free way to dry your clothing without any utility bills!
This device comes in all shapes and sizes, as seen in the images below, and can be configured to accommodate as much or as little laundry as necessary.

There are even INDOOR models available for those either living in small spaces or needing to take care of their clothing needs at odd hours of the day or night.

We urge everybody to look into these marvelous devices today!
Attachers are sold separately in multi-count packages of various quantities.