Sunday, July 29, 2012

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: ANIMAL JOKES

Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
Since I'm out of Dragon School for the summer, I've been flying around the animal kingdom catching up with all my friends, and boy do I have some jokes for you!


What kind of key does not open a lock?
A monKEY or a donKEY.


When you call a dog, it will come right away. When you call a cat, they just take a message and say they'll get back to you... someday.

A grumpy sheep has a baaaaaaa-d day.

A bear walked into a restaurant and asked for a serving of Matabooboo.
The waiter said, "I never heard of that. What's A Matabooboo?"
"Nothing Yogi," replied the bear.

What is a frog's favorite movie?
Star Warts: A New Hop!

How do you keep a Rhino from charging?
Take away it's credit card!


A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals. When filling out his request, he realized that he didn't know what the plural of mongoose was. So in the end, his letter said, "Please send one mongoose. And if it's not too much trouble, send me another mongoose also."


Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump over a barbed wired fence?
It was an udder disaster!


What's the difference between a slug and a snail?
The slug has a housing problem since it doesn't have a place to live like the snail does.


Well folks, that's all the space I have for this weekend. Try to have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-wd.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 22-28, 2012

The 2012 Summer Olympics are officially under way in London, England.

Amongst events happening around the world this past week:
*It has been revealed that Republicans in various states across the US have been pushing for election reforms that would actually prevent eligible voters from participating in the November elections! The American Civil Liberties Union and other civil rights groups are rallying against the passage of these "Jim Crow" laws.
*Astronaut Sally Ride has lost her battle with pancreatic cancer at age 61. Tam O'Shaughnessy, Ride's until now unknown lesbian mate of the past 27 years, is now hoping to collect survivor/spousal benefits. The couple never publicly revealed their relationship before because of the prejudice about same gender couples prevalent during Ride's active service years at NASA and to maintain their privacy afterwards.
*Astronomers have confirmed the existence of FOUR pairs of binary stars in the universe that are very close to each other, despite the fact that such a phenomenon should not exist without either tearing the twin suns apart or resulting in them merging into a single star.
*Civil unrest continues in Syria and Pakistan.
*The remains of the World War 2 era German U-Boat U-550 have been found off the coast of Massachusetts, USA.

IN SPORTS:
*The NCAA has levied a $60 million US Dollar fine and suspensions against Penn State for their part in covering up the illegal activities of former coach Jerry Sandusky. Included are no bowl game appearances for the next four years and forfeiture of all wins under Sandusky's tenure as coach. Many fear the program will suffer greatly as fans and potential student-athletes alike turn to other venues.

THE 2012 SUMMER OLYMPICS:
*Fans of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps were shocked when he barely qualified during the time trials to compete in his signature event: the 400 meters individual medley.
*Siling Yi has won the first Gold Medal of the 2012 games, in the air rifle markspersonship event.
*Republican Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney seriously needs to brush up on his etiquette, international relations, and world history after making some major gaffes during his pre-Olympic trip to London.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 28, 2012


This week's Puzzle Corner salutes classic television. Ready?

TRIVIA TIME
Practically everyone knows Sgt. Joe Friday's iconic badge number on Dragnet was 714. But do you know what the badge numbers were for Officers Pete Malloy (Martin Milner) and Jim Reed (Kent McCord) on Adam-12?

IN OTHER WORDS
Until the 1980s, a series still in active production on network television could not send older episodes into syndication under the original series name. With that in mind, do you know what titles the programs listed below presented their reruns under?

01. The Andy Griffith Show (1960-1968)
02. Bonanza (1959-1973)
03. Gunsmoke (1955-1975)

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's go spelunking down to the Batcave and open THE ANSWERS BOX to discover the results of our Batman quiz from the July 21 Puzzle Corner.

01. What is Bruce Wayne's middle name?
While none has officially been given in the comic books, a lot of fans assume it is Thomas, after his father.
02. Batman: The Dark Knight Rises introduces the Robin character into the movie mythos once more. How many Robins have there been in the official comic book continuity?
FIVE. Dick Grayson (now Nightwing); Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Stephanie Brown (but before DC's New 52 continuity) and Damian Wayne. 
03. How many ladies besides Anne Hathaway have played Selina Kyle/Catwoman on the big screen?
TWO! Lee Meriwether in the 1966 movie with Adam West and Burt Ward, Michelle Pfeiffer in the 1992 Batman Returns. Halle Berry's Catwoman was named Patience Phillips.
04. What is faithful Alfred's surname?
Pennyworth.
05. Counting The Dark Knight Rises, how many actors have portrayed Batman on the silver screen, to date?
SEVEN. Lewis Wilson in the 1943 Batman serial; Robert Lowery in the 1949 serial Batman and Robin; Adam West in the 1966 Batman movie; Michael Keaton in 1989's Batman and 1992's Batman Returns; Val Kilmer in 1995's Batman Forever; George Clooney in 1997's Batman and Robin; and Christian Bale in the latest three: Batman Begins (2005), The Dark Knight (2008), and 2012's The Dark Knight Rises.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

SUNDAY FUNNIES: STILL MORE OXYMORONS

"I am NOT an oxymoron!"
Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here!
In my last Sunday Funnies appearance (http://www.thefreechoice.info/2012/07/the-sunday-funnies-oxymoronic.html) I discussed oxymorons, those figures of speech that combine contradictory terms.
Well, since that column appeared, I've thought of several more, as well as gathered up all the suggestions you readers have sent me at FreeChoiceEzine@gmail.com; and would like to share them with you now.
Ready?

*Act Naturally
*Found missing
*Resident Alien (Really? From what planet?)
*Genuine imitation (As compared to a real imitation?)
*Airline Food (barf!)
*Good Grief! (Accredited to Charles Schulz of Peanuts fame)
*Child proof (There are a LOT of parents who submitted this one!)
*"Now, then..."
*Synthetic Natural Gas
*Passive Aggression (And Ghandi's Peaceful Resistance too)
*Taped Live (before a studio audience)
*Clearly misunderstood (Is there any other way to misunderstand something?)
*Peace Force (I can see where this is technically an oxymoron, but I definitely prefer peace to war)
*Extinct Life (as opposed to Live Life, I guess)
*Temporary Tax increase
*Computer jock (maybe an oxymoron, but definitely a better term than computer nerd)
*Plastic glasses (Hey, I drink out of a plastic bowl, so go figure)
*Terribly pleased
*Almost exactly
*Sanitary landfill (What? Were you REALLY expecting a clean landfill? It's a landfill! Geez!)
*Alone together (along with "Alone at last". If you're with someone, are you really alone?)
*Legally drunk (Is this a truly worthwhile objective?)
*Silent scream (only if you're in the vacuum of outer space)
*Computer security (with all the hackers out there...)
*Political Science (Since when do Republicans actually care about facts?)
*Small crowd
*Tight slacks (submitted by a lot of men for some reason)
*Definite maybe (submitted by a lot of parents with small children)
*Soft Rock (in music. Hard rock doesn't qualify since rocks are hard)
*Military intelligence (do I REALLY have to explain that one?)
*Butt Head (submitted a lot by someone named Beavis)
*Twelve ounce pound cake
*Pretty ugly (but remember folks, beauty is subjective and always in the eye of the beholder)
*Diet ice cream (YUCK!)
*New classic (or neo classic)
*Exact estimate
*Working vacation (more people are taking them, but when do you get to rest?)
*The Three Stooges (Yes, they are morons. But oxymorons? No. The name is accurate. There are three of them.)

And finally, someone suggested both Waxy Dragon and myself as oxymorons, because who ever heard of a talking dragon or a talking puppy?
To that, I say just because you haven't met us, don't discount what you haven't seen with your own eyes.
And on that note, I hope everyone has a great week and will be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--A very REAL Autumn the Puppy! WOOF!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 15-21, 2012

*The 2012 Summer Olympic Games begin July 27th in London, England.

Amongst events happening around the world this past week...

*A lone gunman opened fire in a crowded Colorado (USA) theater during a midnight showing of Batman: The Dark Knight Rises. 12 people are known dead and over 50 were injured. Authorities feel this was an isolated incident, but security has been increased at other theaters.
*While neither side has yet to hold their conventions and make their nominations official, incumbent Democratic President Barack Obama is standing on his record and the facts, while Republican Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is playing upon everyone's fears and worries in advertising campaigns in their respective bids for the White House.
*NBCUniversal has bought full control of MSNBC.com and has renamed the site NBCNews.com
*Civil unrest continues in Syria and Pakistan.
*The drug war rages on in Mexico.
*The US city of San Bernardino, California declared a state of severe fiscal emergency before declaring bankruptcy, thus not having to negotiate with creditors before the filing.
*The Olympic Torch has arrived in the London area on the final leg of its United Kingdom journey before the opening ceremonies July 27.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 21, 2012

This weekend, we celebrate Batman: The Dark Knight Rises to honor all the fans and dreamers out there despite the actions of a lone idiot in Colorado.

01. What is Bruce Wayne's middle name?
02. Batman: The Dark Knight Rises introduces the Robin character into the movie mythos once more. How many Robins have there been in the official comic book continuity?
03. How many ladies besides Anne Hathaway have played Selina Kyle/Catwoman on the big screen?
04. What is faithful Alfred's surname?
05. Counting The Dark Knight Rises, how many actors have portrayed Batman on the silver screen, to date?

We'll plunge the depths of the Batcave and discover the results next weekend. But for now, let's open THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from our quiz honoring Ernest Borgnine in the July 14th Puzzle Corner.

01. Borgnine actually served in the United States Navy until the end of World War 2. What was his real life Naval ranking?
After World War 2, Borgnine was honorably discharged as a Gunner's Mate, First Class. But in October 2004 he was made an honorary Chief Petty Officer.
02. What was McHale's rarely used first name? Quinton
03. What was McHale's naval rank on television? Lieutenant Commander
04. For what did Borgnine win an Academy Award? Best Actor for his starring role in Marty, 1955.
05. Ernest Borgnine reteamed with his former McHale Navy costar Tim Conway to do what in 1999?
They reunited to begin voicing the characters of Mermaid Man (Borgnine) and Barnacle Boy (Conway) on SpongeBob Squarepants, roles they continued until Borgnine's passing.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

SUNDAE FUNNIES: HUMANS 101, MEDICALLY SPEAKING...

"I scream, you sceam, ICE CREAM!"
Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
Now, I'm out for the summer from Dragon School, and I've got to tell you, I learned so much that at times it makes my little head hurt.
One of my favorite classes was Humans 101. I learned a lot about you folks in it.
For example: Despite what some of my ancestors might have thought back in "mid-evil" times, you Humans are not crunchy, nor do you taste good with ketchup.
In fact, from what I've heard, you're kind of squishy on the inside.
YUCK!
Anyway, Humans have to go to doctors just like us dragons because you worry about your health and want to take care of yourselves the best you can.
I see the ads on television all the time for this pill or that medicine. But I've got to tell you, with all those warnings at the end of the ad, maybe you'll be better off with the problem than taking the remedy!
The main things I've seen advertised lately regarding Human health is urging every guy to go "See Alice", whoever she is, and dieting.
Now, thankfully dragons don't have to worry about our weight as much as Humans do. Besides, I'm a baby dragon and still have a LOT of growing to do. Someday.
But to help out my fans I've been studying this weight issue the best I can, and I think I have a solution.
DON'T USE SHAMPOO IN THE SHOWER ANY MORE!
Of course, I don't know why all you folks can't afford the real stuff instead of the sham varieties, but that's another matter.
Yet my point is most shampoos claim to add extra volume and body, so as it runs down your sides when you're washing it out of your hair, no wonder you're gaining weight!
My solution? Find a liquid dish washing detergent that promises to dissolve the fat and grease that sticks to your dishes, pots, and pans.
That way, when it runs down your body while you're rinsing your hair out, you're helping your weight loss plan too!
Simple, huh?

Today is also National Ice Cream Day here in the United States. I have no idea why it isn't an actual holiday here in America, let alone around the world, but I know how I'm gonna celebrate!
Of course, being a dragon, none of the stuff I try to eat stays frozen for long, so that just means I get to eat more sooner.
Lucky me!
However you care to celebrate Ice Cream Day, have a good week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.--wd.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 8-14, 2012

TODAY IS BASTILLE DAY IN FRANCE.

Amongst events that have happened around the world this past week...
*Americans are up in arms that manufacturing of the 2012 USA Olympic and Paralympic team uniforms were outsourced to China. United States based fashion designer Ralph Lauren has vowed to make the 2014 Winter Olympic uniforms for all US contestants.
*Civil unrest continues in Afghanistan, Nigeria, and Syria, where reports of a massacre killing over 250 people have been confirmed.
*Astronomers have confirmed that Pluto has a FIFTH moon!

IN UNITED STATES POLITICS
*According to Rueters; Texas, Florida, South Carolina, Wisconsin, Mississippi, and Louisiana have all announced that they will NOT be implementing the upcoming expansion of Medicaid to give additional medical coverage to the poor, nor will they create a health insurance exchange program. Each state has a Republican Governor who hopes GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney wins the election this fall and keeps his campaign promise to abolish the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act (aka "Obama Care").
*A recent study of Congressional statistics reveals that the Republican controlled House of Representatives has voted THIRTY-THREE times to repeal the Health Care Act! But has yet to even hear motions for a job stimulus program.
*Meanwhile, President Barack Obama would like Congress to extend the "Bush Tax Cuts" that lower and middle class income families are eligible for through 2013, in hopes that a more formal tax plan can be agreed upon soon. The House is willing to consider the measure, but only if ALL the tax cuts are extended, including those favoring the rich.

IN SPORTS...
*The final 2012 Wimbledon Tennis results are: Roger Federer won the Men's Singles, Serena Williams won the Women's Singles. Serena and Venus Williams won the Women's Doubles title, while Jonathan Marray and Frederik Nielsen won the Men's Doubles. Mike Baron and Lisa Raymond won the Mixed Doubles title.
*The Olympic Torch has arrived in the London area on the final leg of its marathon before the opening ceremonies of the 2012 Olympics.

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS...
*Actor Ernest Borgnine (McHale's Navy, Marty) has passed away.
*The Rolling Stones are celebrating their 50th anniversary this year.
*For those interested, it has been announced that Jennifer Lopez and Stephen Tyler will NOT be back as judges on the next season of FOX's American Idol. No official word on their replacements yet.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen, or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER, JULY 14, 2012

Actor Ernest Borgnine (McHale's Navy, the television version of Airwolf, and other TV and film  productions) passed away this past weekend, so this week's Puzzle Corner is in his memory with this brief quiz.


01. Borgnine actually served in the United States Navy until the end of World War 2. What was his real life Naval ranking?
02. What was McHale's rarely used first name?
03. What was McHale's naval rank on television?
04. For what did Borgnine win an Academy Award?
05. Ernest Borgnine reteamed with his former McHale Navy costar Tim Conway to do what in 1999?


We'll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let us solemnly peek into THE ANSWERS BOX, as we reveal the results from our memorial Andy Griffith Puzzle Corner of July 7.

TRIVIA TIME
Practically everybody remembers Mayberry first and foremost when thinking about Griffith. But do you know on what show Andy Griffith appeared in character as Sheriff Taylor first?

An episode of The Danny Thomas Show ("Danny Meets Andy") served as a backdoor pilot for Griffith's series.

COMMON BONDS
Believe it or not, Andy Griffith did a lot more in his career than just Andy Taylor and Ben Matlock.
Each subset below contains a list of costars that appeared with Griffith in the past.
Can you name each production?

01. {Patricia Neal, Walter Matthau, Tony Franciosa, Lee Remick} = A Face In The Crowd, 1957 movie
02. {Anita Corsaut, Hal Smith, Howard McNear, Jack Dodson} = The original Andy Griffith Show, 1960-1968
03. {Jerry Van Dyke, Claudette Nevins, Parker Fennelly} = The Headmaster, 1970 TV series

04. {Lee Meriwether, Ann Morgan Gullbert, Lori Rutherford, Marty McCall} = The New Andy Griffith Show, 1971 series
05. {Abby Dalton, Nick Nolte} = Adams of Eagle Lake, 1975 series
06. {Joel Higgins, Trish Stewart} = Salvage 1, 1979 series
07. {David Ackroyd, Guy Boyd, Kevin Brophy} = The Yeagers, 1980 series
08. {Linda Purl, Kene Holiday, Nancy Stafford} = Matlock, 1986-1995 series

Sunday, July 8, 2012

SUNDAY FUNNIES: REMEMBERING ANDY GRIFFITH

Hello Everybody. Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here. I've given Autumn the Puppy and Ms. Waxy Dragon the weekend off to handle something a bit of a departure for this installment of the Sunday Funnies.

Entertainment legend Andy Griffith passed away Tuesday, July 3.
Now a lot has been said about the man, but I would like to add a few words of my own, if I may.
The first time I saw Griffith act in anything was not a rerun of the original Andy Griffith Show, but on another television program called Salvage 1, about a junk man (Griffith) with aspirations of going to the moon. Something as a science fiction fan I could relate to, especially since no one has made the journey since the end of the Apollo missions! The series lasted only 20 episodes between the Spring and Fall of 1979, but are definitely worth watching and owning on DVD.

But perhaps next to attorney Ben Matlock, the role Griffith will probably best be remembered for is the apparently easy going Sheriff Andy Taylor of Mayberry.
The original Andy Griffith Show is still very popular in reruns today, perhaps because it harkens back to a more simpler time in life, or because it never talked down to its audience. Sheriff Taylor kept the peace in Mayberry for eight television seasons, without ever once firing his weapon!

Now, many people can whistle or hum the famous opening theme, but did you know that it has lyrics?
Andy Griffith recorded the song for the album Songs, Themes, and Laughs from the Andy Griffith Show in 1961.
Here now, courtesy of YouTube, is the single, accompanied by visuals from the show.



And even before gaining fame as Sheriff Taylor, Andy Griffith was already developing his laid back comic routine. Here, also courtesy of YouTube, is one of my father's favorite singles, Griffith performing his classic routine "What It Was, Was Football" from 1953.



The world is a little sadder with his passing, but at least Andy Griffith can still make us laugh.

(One of the ladies will be back next weekend with the regularly scheduled Sunday Funnies).
All copyrights held by their respective owner(s). Videos courtesy of YouTube.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 1-7, 2012

*Feeling lucky? Today is July 7, or 7-7. The 7th day of the 7th month.
The 2012 All Star Game of Major League Baseball is to be played Tuesday night, July 10.
*The annual San Diego (California, USA) Comics Con, aka Comics Con International, is to be held July 11-15.

AMONGST EVENTS HAPPENING AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*Republican Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney said he would "have to get back to you" when asked about resolving the imbalance between men's and women's pay, while incumbent President Barack Obama stated ideas on addressing the issue and ending the imbalance between the genders' salaries.
*Libya is preparing to elect the conference members who will appoint a new Prime Minister and accompanying cabinet and eventually establish a new constitution.
*NASA and Lockheed Martin held a joint unveiling of the new Orion spacecraft, to replace the space shuttles, earlier this week.
*Despite public protests, Japan restarted a nuclear reactor post-Fukushima Daiichi.
*California (USA) is hoping to establish a bullet train between Los Angeles and San Francisco.
*This past week, Hong Kong celebrated the 15th anniversary of going from being part of the United Kingdom to joining the People's Republic of China.
*Civil unrest continues in Syria.
*The Shard in London, England has been declared the tallest European building at 310 meters/1,020 feet.

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS...
*Entertainer Andy Griffith (Sheriff Andy Taylor of Mayberry, Matlock) passed away July 3.

IN SPORTS...
*Serena Williams won the Women's Singles title at Wimbledon 2012.
*Spain defeated Italy to win the UEFA Euro 2012 European football championship.
*Tiger Woods won the 2012 AT&T National in professional golf, making him now the second, all time winning player. Sam Snead still holds the title for most tournament wins, but Woods recent victory now pushes Jack Nicklaus to third place.
*Antonio Esfandiari won the 2012 World Series of Poker $1 Millon (US Dollar) Buy-in tournament.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 7, 2012

Ladies and gentlemen. Earlier this week, the world lost entertainment legend Andy Griffith.
This week's Puzzle Corner is themed in his memory.

TRIVIA TIME
Practically everybody remembers Mayberry first and foremost when thinking about Griffith. But do you know on what show Andy Griffith appeared in character as Sheriff Taylor first?

COMMON BONDS
Believe it or not, Andy Griffith did a lot more in his career than just Andy Taylor and Ben Matlock.
Each subset below contains a list of costars that appeared with Griffith in the past.
Can you name each production?


01. {Patricia Neal, Walter Matthau, Tony Franciosa, Lee Remick}
02. {Anita Corsaut, Hal Smith, Howard McNear, Jack Dodson}
03. {Jerry Van Dyke, Claudette Nevins, Parker Fennelly}
04. {Lee Meriwether, Ann Morgan Gullbert, Lori Rutherford, Marty McCall}
05. {Abby Dalton, Nick Nolte}
06. {Joel Higgins, Trish Stewart}
07. {David Ackroyd, Guy Boyd, Kevin Brophy}
08. {Linda Purl, Kene Holiday, Nancy Stafford}


We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's cut the cake and open THE ANSWERS BOX as we reveal the results from THE ANNIVERSARY QUIZ from the June 30 Puzzle Corner.
And while I played fair and noted the studios were first, no one tumbled on to the fact that the questions were listed from oldest to youngest item.


01. Universal Studios is famous for its original monster movies and Woody Woodpecker, amongst other things, and started business in 1912, celebrating their 100th anniversary this year.
02. Paramount also started entertaining the world in 1912, and branched out into television production when it acquired the Desilu Studios (Star Trek, Mission: Impossible, etc) in the late 1960s.
03. The 1980s remake of Scarface starred Al Pacino in the title role. The original gangster movie was released in 1932, to celebrate its 80th anniversary this year!
04. Elmo Lincoln originated the role in the silent movie adaptation of Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs, but you couldn't hear the yell until the talking picture was made in 1932 too.
05. "We'll always have Paris." is a famous line from Casablanca, as that classic movie celebrates the 70th anniversary of its 1942 release this year.
06. "But Moses supposes erroneously." because "Moses Supposes (His Toe-is Are Roses)" during the great MGM musical Singin' In The Rain, which celebrates the 60th anniversary of its original 1952 release.
07. Doctor No was the first movie in the James Bond franchise, but is actually an adaptation of the sixth book by Ian Fleming, and was released in 1962, making the movie 50 years old this year, and it still holds up well on screen!
08. "Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit them, but remember: it's a sin..." To Kill A Mockingbird admonishes Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in the 1962 motion picture.
09. "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse." vowed Marlon Brando in The Godfather, as that movie celebrates the 40th anniversary of its 1972 release this year.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

Happy Fourth of July everybody!
Now we've come a mighty long way since the days of our forefathers.
England and the United States of America are staunch friends and allies, having been through much together, but unfortunately it was not always so.
But I'm not here to give you a history lesson.
Or at least, not a boring one.
Below, courtesy of You Tube, is a classic video from the America Rock! chapter of the beloved series Schoolhouse Rock!
"Fireworks" was written by Lynn Ahrens, performed by Grady Tate and first aired in 1976.

ENJOY!



Schoolhouse Rock (c) by whoever currently holds the rights.
Video provided by You Tube.com


Sunday, July 1, 2012

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: OXYMORONIC

"Ollie Ollie Oxymorons Free!"
Hello Everyone. Autumn the Puppy here!
So, are you working hard or hardly working?
Considering this is the Sunday Funnies, the answer should be NONE OF THE ABOVE.
But the latter of the two choices is actually an oxymoron, which is a phrase or term composed of contradicting words, like the following:
*Original copy
*Dark light, (also known as black light)
*Open secret (aka public knowledge, which is not an oxymoron)
*Living dead (aka zombies or vampires)
*Guest host (or permanent guest host, terms that became popular back when Johnny Carson hosted The Tonight Show)
*The Sound of Silence (although it's a great Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel tune!)
*Controlled chaos and/or Organized mess (both for busy offices and homes)
*Same difference (like "Six of one and half a dozen of another")
*Jumbo shrimp
*Hot ice (which is criminal slang for stolen jewelry)
*Bitter sweet
*Irregular pattern
*Quiet riot (which is also the oxymoronic name of a hard rock band)
*Sweet sorrow (accredited to William Shakespeare)
*Artificial grass
*Business ethics (sorely lacking over the last couple of decades as it is!)
*Electric candles
*Invisible ink
*Wax fruit (only good for decorations, not eating!)
*Rubber bones (which dogs love to chew on to keep our teeth sharp, but not a substitute for actual food!)

Well, there's plenty more where that came from, but I think I'll save them for another edition of the Sunday Funnies. Have a great week everybody!-AtP.