Sunday, September 26, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: MISFORTUNE COOKIES (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
The other day my people brought home something called "Chinese Take Out" for dinner. Not sure what all it was to begin with, but it sure smelled good.
Of course I didn't get any, but that's beside the point.
Among all the food were these little cookies with tiny scraps of paper in them.
How they managed to make the cookies without damaging those little slips of paper within them I'll never know. Yet all of those slips had writing on them. Below are some of the actual sentences, and my opinions afterwards. Ready?

Face facts with dignity.
Everyone should do this, ESPECIALLY criminals and politicians.

Accept no other definition of your life except your own.
I can understand this from the human perspective but cats have 9 lives. Which one are we talking about?

To effect the quality of the day is no small achievement. 
True, but why do some people whine about even having to get up in the morning if they've got so much to do as it is?

Today is an ideal time to water your personal garden.
Well, I can't see myself watering someone else's garden, even if my paws could hold a hose.

A brave man is one that is not afraid to admit his mistakes.
If that's the case, then I personally know a whole LOT of cowards!

Three things cannot be long hidden. The sun, the moon, and the truth.
Besides the previously discussed liars and politicians, I guess the writer of this one never went outside during winter. Those gray skies alone...

Practice everything in moderation, especially moderation.
But I've also heard that practice makes perfect, so what do you do?

Cooking is easy. Good taste is hard. That's why it is called TAKE OUT.
Maybe, but as long as I get fed...

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody!
Take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be with us again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

Saturday, September 25, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: SEPTEMBER 19-25, 2021

GET VACCINATED & BEWARE ANY VERSION

SEPTEMBER 25 MARKS THE 65TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE FIRST TRANS-ATLANTIC CABLE GOING INTO SERVICE.
SEPTEMBER 29 MARKS THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE NINTENDO 64’S NORTH AMERICA DEBUT.
OCTOBER 1 MARKS THE 30TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE FOR DUMMIES BOOKS.
ANYTHING THAT DEBUTED IN 2001,
LIKE STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE, IS 20 YEARS OLD.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The pandemic and the fight against COVID continues. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of September 25, 2021.
*Is Great Britain’s energy crisis getting worse??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Actor John Challis (a lot of European work) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Willie Garson (Sex and the City franchise, numerous other shows and movies) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
Actor Robert Fyfe (Last of the Summer Wine, Cloud Atlas, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*Former “President” Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
*“We are not sending any migrant to Guantanamo!”—The White House, over current border issue.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*“You have disgraced this country!”—Federal Judge to Riot Defendant.
POLITICALLY…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*We should be better than THIS! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*HUH???
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Another attempt at Voters’ Rights and abortion law reform begins. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Working on the budget, but do Republicans WANT the US to declare bankruptcy??? (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: What to do about “Senator” Ted Cruz??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Trump and the GOP’s opinions of 2022 currently seem to differ. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*“You don’t need the voters’ personal data.”—Pennsylvania Attorney General to GOP “investigators”.
*WARNING: What the audits might mean for the future! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: Is Trump running Texas??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*September 25 marks the 40th anniversary of Sandra Day O’Connor becoming the first female Supreme Court Justice.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 25, 2021

😎FUN FACT
Fingernails grow faster than toe nails, but no one knows why.

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇
October 1 marks the 30th anniversary of the FOR DUMMIES series of books.
What was the first title published?

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE or FALSE: Actor Michael Dunn as Doctor Miguleito Quixote Loveless was the only recurring villain on the classic television series The Wild Wild West (1965-1969).

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 18, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
As of February 2021, how many M&Ms are in the official world’s tallest stack of said candy?

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Teams, Hobby} = Clubs.♣♣
02. {Artichokes, Valentines} = Hearts.💟💟

Sunday, September 19, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HUMAN HUMOR

 Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here now that we're back to the "normal" Sunday Funnies rotation, so what to talk about?

Did you know Jellyfish have survived 650 million years despite not having a brain? That makes this puppy wonder about some humans...

It is a shame that nothing is built in America like it used to be.
A man bought a TV📺 that said it had a "Built In Antenna".
He complained about not knowing where that state was. 

After reading the famous poem by Robert Frost, one man complained "I will not take the road less traveled. I've seen Deliverance!"

On March 10th, 1876, Alexander Gram Bell made the first phone☎ call ever.
Moments later, he received notification that his car’s extended warranty had expired.

LIQUIDATE does not mean Aquaman took Mera out to dinner.

Some humans brag about being in shape.
I hate to tell you folks, but in this case round is not a desirable shape.

A man was accused of stealing from his job while working on a road crew and they fired him.
He claimed to be innocent, but the signs were all there.

Summer isn't officially over until September 22, so why all the Pumpkin🎃 Spice flavored everything already?

"Satire is meant to ridicule power. If you are laughing at people who are hurting, it is not satire. It is bullying." ~~ Sir Terry Pratchett.

And on that note♫, have a great week folks.
Take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!AtP.

Saturday, September 18, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: SEPTEMBER 12-18, 2021

😷GET VACCINATED & BEWARE ANY VERSION

SEPTEMBER 18 IS CLEAN UP DAY.
SEPTEMBER 18 IS THE 170TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE NEW YORK TIMES.
SEPTEMBER 21 IS THE INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PEACE.🕊
SEPTEMBER 21 IS THE FIRST DAY OF SUKKOT, FOR THOSE CELEBRATING.
SEPTEMBER 22 IS THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX.
SEPTEMBER 25 MARKS THE 65TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE FIRST TRANS-ATLANTIC CABLE GOING INTO SERVICE.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The fight against COVID-19 and its variants continues. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of September 18, 2021.
*Did North Korea perform another missile “test”??? Did South Korea??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

*It should be no surprise that the restriction of female rights has begun anew. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*September 18 is Clean Up Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Actor Don Collier (The High Chaparral and other westerns) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Comedian Norm MacDonald (Saturday Night Live, his own series, and other shows) is no longer with us.
*Actress Jane Powell (many TV, Stage, and Screen roles) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*Former “President” Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*A “protest rally” over January 6 arrests??? Didn't go as planned. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
POLITICALLY…
*The US has a new defense plan with Australia, but France isn’t happy about it??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Former President George W. Bush versus Former “President” Donald Trump. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*President Biden’s new anti COVID proposals, that the Republicans are already opposing!
*WTF???
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
ELSEWHERE…
*Some Republicans were already claiming the California Recall Election was stolen BEFORE voting day! But since Democrat Gavin Newsom will remain Governor until the next actual election…  Is that a sign of things to come??? (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*So, who picks up the Recall Election Expenses??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Did Trump want to attack China to save his “Presidency”, since the President cannot leave office during an active war??? If not, then why are Republicans trying to fire the General??? Which ISN’T going to happen. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Not as popular as he used to be??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: On Supreme Court decisions, which way will they go??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*More importantly: do you TRUST the Supreme Court???
*September 18 is the US Air Forces’ birthday.
*September 25 marks the 40th anniversary of Sandra Day O’Connor becoming the first female Supreme Court Justice.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 18, 2021

😎FUN FACT
Despite how fast light travels, the sun's🌞 position in the sky at any given moment is actually 7 minutes after the fact.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
As of February 2021, how many M&Ms are in the official world’s tallest stack of said candy?

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Teams, Hobby}
02. {Artichokes, Valentines}

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 11, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below.
Do you know what it is?

LE
     VEL

Split level.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
Can you complete the famous phrase below?
“Be Kind. ________________”
“Be Kind. Rewind.” From when video tape rentals📼 were in their heyday but not everyone was thoughtful enough to reset the cassette for the next renter.

Sunday, September 12, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: BACK TO SCHOOL 2021

D-O-G. DOG.
C-A-T. CAT.
 Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Piper D. Katt here as we do our annual Back To School Salute!
That’s right Autumn. Now in classic days, or at least before 1980, most schools did not resume classes until the Tuesday after Labor Day each year. Yet now with all the “Teachers In Service” and other agenda items, students could be back in as early as mid-August.

In any event, hopefully everyone goes back to learn the important things in life.
Like avoiding the “Mystery Meat” in the cafeteria?
Yeah, along with reading, writing, arithmetic, and much more.
But this wouldn’t be Sunday without some funnies, so here they are!

As her son returned from the first day of the school, she asked, “What did you learn today?”
“Not enough,” he replied. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Why was school much easier for cave people?
Because there wasn't much history to study!😉

60 might be the new 90 when it comes to age, but 9 is the new midnight when it comes to curfews.

Where do you learn to make a banana🍌 split?
In Sundae🍨 school.

Do Snakes🐍🐍 go to Charm School?
Do they study Hisstory?
History???

ARITHMETIC: When it comes to math, I’m happy with being 90% right. I don’t care about the other 5%.

ASTRONOMY: Venus Williams, Freddy Mercury and Bruno Mars met once at a grocery store but they didn’t planet that way.

Are magicians🧙🧙 good students because they're great at trick questions?

Are rulers📏📏 the royalty of all school supplies?

Teacher: "Give me a sentence beginning with "I".
Student: "I is...."
Teacher: "Stop there. You need to begin with I am".
Student: "Okay...I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher: "What is the shortest month?"
Student: "May. It only has three letters." 
Although the Teacher was probably looking for February because it has only 28 days, except in Leap Year.

And on that note♫ take care everybody! Have a great week!
STAY SAFE! 😷
And one of us will be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!AtP and PDK.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: SEPTEMBER 5-11, 2021


GET VACCINATED & BEWARE ANY VERSION

😢SADLY SEPTEMBER 11 IS THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF
SEPTEMBER 11 IS ALSO NATIONAL DAY IN CATALONIA.
SEPTEMBER 12 IS GRANDPARENTS’ DAY.
SEPTEMBER 16 IS YOM KIPPUR.
SEPTEMBER 17 IS POW/MIA DAY FOR UNACCOUNTED FOR SOLDIERS.
SEPTEMBER 18 IS CLEAN UP DAY.
SEPTEMBER 18 IS THE 170TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE NEW YORK TIMES.
ANYTHING THAT DEBUTED IN 1971, LIKE THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW & THE PRICE IS RIGHT, CELEBRATES ITS 50TH ANNIVERSARY THIS YEAR.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The battle and the vaccination efforts against the COVID Pandemic continue. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*But now there’s ANOTHER NEW VARIANT to deal with! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of September 11, 2021.
*In the wake of Texas' anti-abortion "law", Mexico’s Supreme Court as declared the criminalization of abortion unconstitutional, but has yet to decide if the process should be legalized.


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*September 18 is Clean Up Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Former Motown artist turned preacher and social activist Carl Bean is no longer with us.
*Singer (Girls Aloud) Actress (Saint Trinian’s film franchise, more) Sarah Harding has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Tony Selby (BBC Avengers, East Enders, Doctor Who, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
Actor Michael K. Williams (The Wire, Boardwalk Empire, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional wrestler “Wild” Bill White is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021
>AFTERMATH
*WTF???
*Several more plead "Not Guilty". (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
REMEMBERING THE FALLEN...🎗
*Several memorial ceremonies were held across the country September 11, 2021 on the 20th anniversary of the cowardly terrorist attacks upon American soil, including the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the crashing of United 93.😢
*Former "President" Trump wasn't at any, but issued statements dissing President Biden and praising Rudy Giuliani. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
POLITICALLY…
*Other subjects Biden hopes to tackle, including new anti COVID strategies. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Biden is PRO-Solar Energy, and of course there are those against it. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The new variant is in the United States too! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Stepping up the anti-COVID efforts. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Opinion: The 2022 agenda???
ELSEWHERE…
*As the backlash continues, the legal challenges have begun. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The Baseball⚾ Hall of Fame finally had an induction ceremony.
*September 18 is the US Air Forces’ birthday.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…