Sunday, August 29, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: ANIMAL ANTICS

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
Now believe it or not, cats and dogs not only get along, we talk to each other as well as other animals.
Granted since I'm a house cat, most of my communications with the rest of the crowd is over the Internet, but this is certainly a long way to go to set up the opportunity to tell some animal based jokes, so let's get right to it. Ready?

What is as big as an Elephant🐘, but weighs nothing?
The elephant’s shadow.

I grow down as I grow up. What am I?
A goose. 

What’s at the head of an Elephant and the tail of a squirrel?
Answer: “El.”

A woman👩 stands on one side a river. Her cat's 🐈on the other.
The woman calls to the cat, who immediately crosses the river without getting wet and without using a bridge or boat.
How did the cat do it?
The river was frozen.
Then again, if the woman and her cat were really smart, they wouldn't be outside in that kind of weather to begin with!

I've never seen a lion🦁 play golf,🏌 but a tiger 🐯 would.😉

A cowgirl🤠 rides into a city on Friday, stays for three days and leaves on Friday.
How is this possible?
Her horse’s🐎 name is Friday.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?🦜
A carrot.🥕

On that note♫, Autumn the Puppy and I will both be off next weekend as our esteemed Editor-In-Chief covers the Labor Day Weekend edition of The Sunday Funnies.
Your loyal hostesses will be back the following weekend with our annual Back To School🏫 Salute.
In any event, take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
PDK.

Saturday, August 28, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: AUGUST 22-28, 2021

GET VACCINATED & BEWARE ANY VERSION





SEPTEMBER 6 IS LABOR DAY IN THE UNITED STATES.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Alas, COVID troubles are far from over. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*More developments on trying to get/keep the world vaccinated. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*The delayed Paralympics are now underway as COVID concerns continue. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of August 28, 2021.

*The United States retaliated, but what next??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: Who IS responsible??? Trump versus Biden. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*A look at the Atlantic Hurricane season, so far. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Don Everly of the Everly Brothers (“Cathy’s Clown”, much more) has passed away.
*Charlie Watts, the Rolling Stones original drummer, is no longer with us.
*Child actor Matthew Mindler (various roles before graduating high school) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*“President” Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state. Sadly, our second source for this item seems to have disappeared from the Internet.
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*The latest work on the Infrastructure. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*While Jeopardy! still searches for a host, who Alex Trebek thought should replace him.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: AUGUST 28, 2021

😎FUN FACT
In baseball⚾, an "Immaculate Inning" is the pitcher facing the first three batters scheduled and getting them out within 9 pitches max.

RHYME TIME
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?
A gem, to some.

IN OTHER WORDS
Something famous has been stated a different way. Do you know what the official version is?
Myself, the decider.

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the August 21, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
Who do we know James Todd Smith better as?
Rapper-actor L. L. Cool J.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE or FALSE: In the classic Bud Abbot and Lou Costello routine “Who’s On First?”, ALL the baseball⚾ player positions are mentioned at least once.
FALSE. While the shortstop isn’t mentioned until the end, the right fielder is never named.

Sunday, August 22, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LEGAL LAUGHS

 Hello Folks. Autumn the Puppy here!
Neither rain, sleet, nor Hurricane/Tropical Storm Henri shall keep me from entertaining everyone during my turn each Sunday, provided I've got the electricity and computer access to do so.
So while both are still currently available, let's look at the legal profession.
Ready?

Why do sharks🦈🦈🦈 not eat lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
  
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, very close to your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

Do all lawyers work for the firm of Dewey, Cheatum, Reily, Bigge, and Howe?

A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
"What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asked the police officer.
"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."
"Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," said the officer.
So the juggler gets out and started juggling the blazing torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch.
"Wow," said the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

And on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE!😷🌌
And please be back with us next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!AtP.

Saturday, August 21, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: AUGUST 15-21, 2021

GET VACCINATED &
BEWARE ANY VERSION


BEWARE GRACE & HENRI!


AUGUST 21 IS SENIOR CITIZENS DAY.
AUGUST 25 IS THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF WORLD WAR 1 ENDING
 & THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF VOYAGER 2 PASSING SATURN.
AUGUST 27 IS MOLDOVA'S INDEPENDENCE DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Just like the delayed Summer Olympics, Tokyo will host the delayed Paralympics without an audience too because of COVID. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of August 21, 2021.
*While a three day coup against former Russian President Mikhail Gorbachev failed, August 21 marks the 30th anniversary of the Soviet Union starring to fall.

*World reaction to the Taliban take over. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Is the Taliban breaking their word already??? (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Despite some efforts otherwise, evacuation efforts ARE underway!
*Question: Where is Afghanistan's President Ashraf Ghani during all of this???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Folk singer/songwriter Nanci Griffith (“Love at the Five and Dime”, “Other Voices, Other Rooms” more) has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player and coach John Pease is no longer with us.
*Actor-martial artist Shinichi “Sonny” Chiba (Kill Bill, Tokyo Drift, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Country music legend Tom T. Hall (numerous classics and other achievements) is no longer with us.
*Actor Frankie Mossman (2010 version of Spartacus, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional football🏈 player, coach and executive Floyd Reese is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*Trump wanted to remain President, no matter how it came about.
POLITICALLY…
*Some are blaming President Biden removing American forces for the Taliban seizing control of Afghanistan. but that policy actually started under Trump’s “administration”. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Other than the growing concern over the reversal of human rights with the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan, there is not really anything else to report in this section right now.
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state. Sadly, our second source for this item seems to have disappeared from the Internet.
*A judge is among the many who think Texas Governor Greg Abbott is wrong about not letting children wear masks at school. Yet the State’s Supreme Court has sided with Abbott. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*WHAT??? When will this madness end??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Only a brief recess after all, with the Infrastructure and Voters’ Rights on the horizon. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…

*August 25 marks the 105th anniversary of the US National Parks Service being established.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: AUGUST 21, 2021

😎FUN FACT
Sea turtles🐢 make multiple nests, with the decoys used to help protect their eggs.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
Who do we know James Todd Smith better as?

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE or FALSE: In the classic (Bud) Abbot and (Lou) Costello routine “Who’s On First?”, ALL the baseball⚾ player positions are mentioned at least once.

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the August 14, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Complete Peter Cattaneo produced, uncensored release of a classic BBC Comedy series?
The Full Monty Python’s Flying Circus.
(Cattaneo directed The Full Monty movie.)

TRIVIA TIME
What country has the most coastline?
CANADA, with 202,080 kilometers or roughly 125,567 miles.

Sunday, August 15, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THIS AND CAT

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here! 
It's a beautiful sunny day where I'm at. Hope you're having good weather too.
Naturally the sun feels good on my fur as I just laze in one of my favorite sunny spots. But that's not why you're here.
Let me just take a big yawn and cat stretch...
And now it's time for some jokes. Ready?

My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. It is hard to believe Jack and the Beans talk.

I saw a human pushing a lion🦁 and a witch into a wardrobe.
I asked what he was doing and he said “Go away. It's Narnia business.”

If a skunk's🦨 not feeling well, is he out of odor?😉

If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to the charging station and get a bucket of electricity?

If your tongue covers your eye teeth, can you still see what you're saying?

Sometimes I have to stop and wonder what humans actually think about cats.
When we cry😿, nobody seems to see our tears. When we're worried, nobody seems to see our stress😾. When we're happy, nobody seems to see our smiles. But make one bad mess in the litter pan...

A great ocean view should always be bluetiful.
Then again, ALL of nature should be that way if it's properly taken care of!
So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.


Saturday, August 14, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: AUGUST 8-14, 2021

GET VACCINATED & BEWARE ANY VERSION

AUGUST 14 IS PAKISTAN'S INDEPENDENCE DAY & THE 80TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE ATLANTIC CHARTER.
AUGUST 15 IS INDIA'S INDEPENDENCE DAY & KOREA'S LIBERATION DAY.
AUGUST 21 IS SENIOR CITIZENS DAY.
2021 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE FANTASTIC FOUR, THE 55TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE BEATLES’ REVOLVER, THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE NORM COMIC STRIP & THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF SAMURAI JACK.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*While the pandemic continues, so does the fight against it. (There are 5/FIVE separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of August 14, 2021.
*The Summer Olympics are over, and Paris will host in 2024. Let’s hope the games will be safer by then. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*While a three day coup against former Russian President Mikhail Gorbachev failed, August 21 marks the 30th anniversary of the Soviet Union starring to fall.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*Italy, Tunisia, and Algeria are experiencing wildfires too! (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Olympic cyclist🚴 Olivia Podmore is no longer with us.
*Track and field athlete🏃 Cameron Burrell has passed away.
*Actress Markie Post (The Fall Guy, Night Court, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Jane Withers (MANY credits but perhaps best known as Josephine the Plumber) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Comedian Trevor Moore is no longer with us.
*Martial artist and stunt coordinator Brad Allan (Rush Hour 2, Solo, more) has passed away.
*Actor Anupam Shyam (Slumdog Millionaire, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Music producer Chucky Thompson (Notorious B.I.G., Mary J. Bilge, more) is no longer with us.
*Actor Alex Cord (TV version of Airwolf, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Sunni Wells (numerous credits and one of Bill Cosby’s many accusers) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Patricia Hitchcock (many credits and daughter of director Alfred) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Motorsports broadcaster Bob Jenkins is no longer with us.
*Actress Una Stubbs (numerous credits throughout a long career) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Radio personality Fez Whatley is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…

CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021
>AFTERMATH
*While January 6 was bloody, January 3 would have been more evil.
POLITICALLY…
*“Medicine needs to be more affordable.”—President Biden to drug companies.
*Andrew Cuomo has resigned as the Governor of New York so the state “can let government get back to governing” but the DEMOCRATIC Lieutenant Governor Kathy Hochul will take over, leaving Republicans wondering about the status of Trump’s legal troubles in that state, although Cuomo no longer faces potential impeachment. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*“ARREST THEM ALL!” In regards to the Texas Legislature’s Democrats who stand in the Republican Majority’s way.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*WHY???
*"But we had a reservation!"—snubbed hotel customers.
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state. Sadly, our second source for this item seems to have disappeared from the Internet.
*The treatment future includes...??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*NO ROOM in Texas hospitals as their Governor responds to the pandemic surge. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Republican Senator Rand Paul “considers it an honor” that YouTube suspended him for a week over his COVID inaccuracies.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Apparently no recess because they’re still working on the Infrastructure, with the Senate now having their own Bill to present. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*How the 2020 Census results might affect voting in the future. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*So, regardless of who becomes the new host/ess, if you want to be on Jeopardy!… (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Fan feedback while examining the whole Jeopardy! affair. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Regardless of where his heart is, singer Tony Bennett has decided to retire.
*Professional baseball player⚾ Chris Davis has decided to retire.
*August 20 is Hawaii’s Statehood Day. It joined the US in 1959.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: AUGUST 14, 2021

😎 FUN FACT
The planet Mars “hums” but no one knows why!

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Complete Peter Cattaneo produced, uncensored release of a classic BBC Comedy series?

TRIVIA TIME
What country has the most coastline?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the August 7, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?

👀 🎲🎲⸻🎬 💡💡

♫I can see paradise by the dashboard lights.♫—Meatloaf.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫People say I look weary, but that’s just the company I keep.♫
“Pilot of the Airwaves”, a 1979 hit by Charlie Dore.

Sunday, August 8, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WHAT ARE WE PLAYING? (sports jokes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Everyone seems interested in sports, whether watching or actually participating.
It's been difficult over the past year with the pandemic to get anything in public accomplished, and even more so now with all the COVID variants trying to flourish.😷
Yet people keep trying, so here's some appropriate sports related jokes to get you through your game day.

A big factor in any game is the number of points scored.
Reporter: "To what do you attribute last night's loss?"
Player: "To the fact that they scored more points than we did."

Reporter: "Is the team having a morale problem?"
Manager: "Morality at this time isn't a factor."

Imagine a team on a world tour...
Reporter: "Did you visit the Parthenon when you went to Greece?"
Player: "I can't really remember the names of all the other teams that we faced."

But then again, for every winner there has to be a loser.
Imagine yourself in the position of having one of the worst records in your season...
"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

Considering how some people feel about the officials overseeing the game, you have to wonder if the sports manual they read are in Braille.

Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the baseball?⚾
If he raises them both, he’d fall down.

Did you know that basketball players🏀 can't go on vacation because they aren’t allowed to travel?

Golfers🏌 are supposed to yell "FORE!" before they attempt hitting the ball to warn everyone else in the area that they're attempting to hit the ball.
Now what I want to know is what happened to "ONE!", "TWO!", and "THREE!"?

Why did the football🏈 coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.

What do a hockey player🏒 and a magician have in common?
They both do hat tricks.

Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?⚽
They watch cricket instead.

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run!

So on that note♫, it's time to wrap this up for the post game show.
Take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.