Sunday, January 31, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DOG BUSINESS (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
As you can see by the picture, it isn't great weather in my neck of the woods right now.
Hasn't gotten out of the 20s since the middle of last week and there's more snow in the forecast for this coming week! 😝
Of course, except for missing the holidays, I've always thought bears🐻 had the right idea about winter, but let them snooze away in their cozy dens.
I still get fed every day in a nice warm house.😍
Now if only you people would perfect indoor plumbing for canine use... 😞

So, while I finish my "business" and head back inside, here are some great jokes to amuse you...

Everyone was worried and complained about the year 2020, but hardly anyone has said anything about this year so far. I'm just as worried about this year, if not more so, than last year because now that it's 21, can you imagine how much more difficult it will be to contend with a drunk year?

Where do old years go, anyway?
Wherever 2020 went, I hope it gets locked up and the key is thrown away so it can't escape!

A wife asked her husband: "Why did you put up a canopy in our yard with bright lights and funky music?"
His reply was, “Now is the winter of our disco-tent."
Get down. Get funky! 😉
Why do some people insist “They didn't teach that in school"?
They probably did, but you weren't paying attention.

Light is faster than sound, which is why some people seem bright until they speak.

And now that I'm back in my nice warm house, I'll share my business with you...
Buy low, sell high.
The "Sew What" Tailor Shop will leave you in stitches if you try to rush their work.
"Many Happy Returns" never has processed a bad tax filing.
And "Pioneer Parachute" will not open until after the pandemic is over.

On that note♫, have a great week.
Take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here again, for...
February 2 will be the annual reposting of our GROUNDHOG'S DAY SPECIAL and next Sunday, I'll be teaming up with Piper D. Katt for our annual football🏈 riff in honor of the "big" game, right here on the Sunday Funnies!AtP.

Saturday, January 30, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 24-30, 2021

BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

FEBRUARY IS AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY AWARENESS MONTH.
FEBRUARY IS HEART💖 HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH.
JANUARY 31 IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN NAURU.
JANUARY 31 IS NATIONAL GORILLA🦍 SUIT DAY IN THE UNITED STATES.
FEBRUARY 2 IS GROUNDHOG’S DAY.
FEBRUARY 4 IS THE 80TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE UNITED SERVICE ORGANIZATION.
FEBRUARY MARKS THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF
DC’S THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS MINI-SERIES BY FRANK MILLER.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa has been re-elected President of Portugal.
THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Actor Gregory Sierra (Barney Miller, Sanford and Son, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Jeanette Maus (Charm City Kings, Your Sister’s Sister, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Movie producer Alberto Grimaldi (Last Tango In Paris, Gangs of New York, more) is no longer with us.
*Frank Shankwitz, co-founder of the Make A Wish Foundation, has passed away.
*Actor Bruce Kirby (Stand By Me, LA Law, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional baseball⚾ player and Minor League Manager Ron Johnson is no longer with us.
*Actor Peter Vere-Jones (The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, Xena: Warrior Princess, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Cloris Leachman (credits too numerous to mention) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Cicely Tyson (credits too numerous to mention) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Musician/producer Sophie Xeon is no longer with us.
*Journalist Mitchell Krauss, the CBS Network's Middle East correspondent, has passed away.
*Author Kathleen Ann Goonan (Queen City Jazz, War Time, more) is no longer with us.
*Guitarist Hilton Valentine of The Animals has passed away.
*Saxophonist Grady Gaines (active since the 1950s) is no longer with us.
*Freddy, world’s tallest dog🐕 of current record, has crossed the Rainbow Bridge.🌈

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*With families being separated upon apprehension, “President” Trump declared the lack of a border wall a “national emergency”. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency January 20, 2021; but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*150+ arrests, to date! And more coming! (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
POLITICALLY...
*Biden’s Secretary of the Treasury and Secretary of State have been approved. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Although Trump nixed the Obama Administration idea, Harriet Tubman may replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill after all.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Biden reversed another Trump anti-LGBTQ policy, but this guy has other ideas. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*HUH???
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19… (separated from the purely political news)
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“All information was censored.”—Dr. Brix, on life under Trump.
*Mask advice: the good ones versus the bad ones. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*President Biden has ordered additional doses of the COVID-19 vaccine(s), an expenditure “President” Trump never wanted to make.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*With Republicans hoping to regain control after the 2022 mid-term election, Senators Portman (Ohio), Toomey (Pennsylvania) and Burr (North Carolina) have announced they’re not running for re-election.
*Republicans Kelly Anne Conway and Marjorie Taylor Greene: shouldn't they know better??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*Gone but not forgotten: Trump versus Republicans continues. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*While never declared a “holiday” until 1976, National Gorilla🦍 Suit Day was first conceived by MAD magazine’s Don Martin in 1963!
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*There actually was some in 2020! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 30, 2021

😎FUN FACT
January 29 was Puzzle Day! Missed it by “that much”. 😉

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
How many toes does an elephant🐘 have?

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
Who do we know Gordon Shumway better as?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the January 23, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
Who were 1936’s inaugural inductees to the Major League Baseball⚾ Hall of Fame?
Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, and Honus Wagner.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫East is East and West is West and the wrong one I have chose♫
“Buttons and Bows”, written by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans.

Sunday, January 24, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WHAT US ANIMALS SAY (animal jokes)

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

You know, I love being a cat. Of course, I don't have any experience being something else but the point of the matter is that you have to love yourself for who you are, no matter what anyone else thinks.
That's what every animal I've ever talked to believes, and you humans should too.

Like people, we also tell jokes to and about each other.
Here's some for you to enjoy...

Are people who take care of young fowl chicken🐣 tenders?

If you play cards in the jungle, watch out for the cheetahs.

A duck🦆, a skunk🦨, and a deer🦌 went for dinner. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck, so the dinner went on the duck’s bill.

Imagine how much noise a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip-flops.

Is a sleeping bull a bull dozer?

Where's the TARDIS?
What do you call a cow🐄 that doesn't jump over the moon🌙?
Normal.

Why did the snake🐍 cross the road?
To get to the other ssssside.

Despite their name, starfishes do not swim only at night.

What animals are on legal documents?
Seals.

Did you hear about the racing snail🐌 who got rid of his shell?
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.

Do alligators cook all their meals in a crock pot?

And remember:
A cat has claws at the end of its paws while a sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
On that note♫, have a great week everybody!
Take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

Saturday, January 23, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 17-23, 2021

"TODAY, WE CELEBRATE THE TRIUMPH NOT OF A CANDIDATE, BUT OF A CAUSE. THE CAUSE OF DEMOCRACY.
THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE HAS BEEN HEARD, AND THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE HAS BEEN HEEDED.
WE HAVE LEARNED AGAIN THAT DEMOCRACY IS PRECIOUS.
THAT DEMOCRACY IS FRAGILE.
AND AT THIS HOUR, MY FRIENDS, DEMOCRACY HAS PREVAILED."
—Excerpt from Joseph Biden's speech, Inauguration Day (January 20) 2021.

OF THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS!

JANUARY 23 IS SQUIRREL APPRECIATION DAY.
JANUARY 29 IS THE 160TH ANNIVERSARY OF
KANSAS JOINING THE UNITED STATES.
JANUARY 29 IS ALSO PUZZLE DAY!
JANUARY 29 IS THE 85TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE BASEBALL⚾ HALL OF FAME IN COOPERSTOWN, NEW YORK, USA.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Some global reactions to the Biden-Harris administration. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Saint Patrick will understand. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*January 27 is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s 265th birthday.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Legendary baseball⚾ player Hank Aaron has passed away.
*Baseball⚾ Hall of Fame member Don Sutton is no longer with us.
*Actress Mira Furlan (Babylon 5, other shows) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Television writer/producer David Richardson (The Simpsons, 2 and a Half Men, more) is no longer with us.
*Actor Rod Perry (original SWAT, The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional football🏈 player and sports executive Ted Thompson (Houston Oilers, Green Bay Packers) is no longer with us.
*Former professional baseball⚾ player Mike Sadek (San Francisco Giants) has passed away.
*Professional golfer🏌 Lonnie Nielsen is no longer with us.
*Broadway choreographer/producer Bob Avian (Dream Girls, A Chorus Line, more) has passed away.
*Writer/artist Jean Graton (most known for Michael Valiant) is no longer with us.
*Stuntman Remy Julienne (worked on James Bond movies, The Da Vinci Code, others) has passed away.
♫Jazz composer/arranger Sammy Nestico (worked for Count Basie, numerous other acts and accomplishments) is no longer with us.
*Famous talk show personality Larry King has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player Tony Jones is no longer with us.
*Music producer (and convicted murderer) Phil “The Wall of Sound” Spector has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*With families being separated upon apprehension, “President” Trump declared the lack of a border wall a “national emergency”. There have since been legal and legislative battles initiated over this. But what about the health/safety of all the “detainees”???
*Newly instated President Biden will be addressing the issues covered in this section during his administration.
*Biden has nullified Trump’s “national emergency”. This stops further wall construction, but what to do with the existing sections and other questions remain pending.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the financial costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*Suspect arrests continue throughout the United States of America. (There are 8/EIGHT separate links in this item.)
TRANSITION TIME…
POLITICALLY, THE LAST DAYS OF TRUMP…
*What Trump might collect as an ex-President, pending Impeachment trial results.
*The last round of Trump pardons, and what his final act as President will cost America. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
POLITICALLY, BIDEN-HARRIS BEGINS…
*Joseph Biden and Kamala Harris have been sworn in as the new President and Vice President (respectively) of the United States. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Already busy on Day One! (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*Seriously cleaning house. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opposition to the new  administration already??? (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Trump’s administration claims there was NO slavery in America’s history??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19… (separated from the purely political news)
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Masks are now MANDATORY on Federal properties and during Interstate travel for at least the next 100 days.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
*While initial establishment was necessary under the Donald Trump administration, this section is dedicated to covering anything and everything as the need arises.
NOTE: Unless a newsworthy one is somehow made despite all the bans against him, TRUMP TWEETS has been discontinued.
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Has Senator Mitch McConnell finally come to his senses??? Maybe not. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“Save our democracy!” —Senate Democrats to their Republican counterparts.
*“Not me.”—Worried Republicans.
ELSEWHERE…
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*REJOICE! Donald Trump is no longer President of the United States!

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 23, 2021

😎FUN FACT
January 29 marks the 85th anniversary of the inaugural class of the Baseball⚾ Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York, USA.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
Who were the Hall's inaugural inductees?

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫East is East and West is West and the wrong one I have chose♫

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the January 16, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

WHO AM I? NEW GAME!
Can you identify the person (real or fictitious) based upon the clue below?
I am the only President of the United States to have never declared membership in any political party.
George Washington, who felt serving the American people was more important than any political affiliation.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Difficult ice cream journey = Rocky Road Trip.

Monday, January 18, 2021

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JUNIOR DAY 2021

 The following is an editorial.

The third Monday of each January is set aside here in the United States to honor civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Junior.
A great man assassinated for his beliefs.
One who hoped to see equality for all within his lifetime achieved through nonviolent ways.
Unfortunately that did not happen.
In many ways, as evident by the Black Lives Matter movement and other issues, the struggle still continues today.
Yet King wisely knew that there were also many other issues to deal with in this troubled world.
A fact as true now as it was in the 1960s.
Events of January 6, 2021 in Washington DC prove this point more than valid as one man sought to upset Democracy as we know it so he could stay in power, despite losing the election fair and square.
As Doctor King himself has said...
If you succumb to the temptation of using violence in your struggle, unborn generations will be the recipients of a long and desolate night of bitterness and your chief legacy will be an endless reign of meaningless chaos.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now.

We must learn to live together as brothers and sisters or we will all perish together as fools.

Wise words to live by.
Let us hope they are finally heeded.

The above was an editorial.

Sunday, January 17, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LIFE OR A REASONABLE FACSIMILE (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
It isn't really a good weekend where I'm at weather wise, so I'm just staying indoors and seeing what I can dig up to entertain everyone.

Observing the people I live with for so long, I've been going over the odd facts of life that make up the "human condition", like...

Whenever you're ready to go home, your boss always leaves you some "emergency rush job that MUST be done" before they go home for the night!

When one door closes and another door opens, you might have a bad cabinet.

I am totally grateful that despite the pandemic, people are trying to take better care of themselves.
Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight because the older they get, the earlier it gets late.

Now when a human says "The other day," they could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

Even with us older pets, there were days when we could get up without making any sound effects.

Have you ever wondered where socks go when they disappear in the dryer?

When a human is asked what they're doing and the reply is "nothing," that's not an invitation to give them something to do.

Humans with very young infants know it usually takes 3 days to get 8 hours of sleep.😉

Why are some people shocked to find out their friends did nothing over the weekend.
After all, it's their time. If they wanted to just kick back and relax that's their business.
We dogs do it all the time and never get questioned about our schedule.

Comedian Steve Martin was right when he said "Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you criticize them. Then you're a mile away and they have no shoes."

Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever.
Humans hope that's love.💓
For us pets, it's the veterinarian before we're either spayed or neutered.

On that note♫, take care.
Have a great week.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.—AtP.

Saturday, January 16, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 10-16, 2021


"CORRUPTION IS A CANCER THAT EATS AWAY AT A CITIZEN'S FAITH IN DEMOCRACY, DIMINISHES THE INSTINCT FOR INNOVATION & CREATIVITY. IT WASTES THE TALENT OF ENTIRE GENERATIONS."
American President Elect Joseph Biden.


THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS!😷

WIKIPEDIA CELEBRATES ITS 15TH ANNIVERSARY THIS YEAR.
JANUARY 16 IS APPRECIATE A DRAGON DAY.
JANUARY 18 IS THE MARTIN LUTHER KING, JUNIOR HOLIDAY IN THE US.
JANUARY 20 IS INAUGURATION DAY AS JOE BIDEN
SWORN IN AS PRESIDENT OF THE US!
JANUARY 22 IS PENGUIN🐧 AWARENESS DAY.
JANUARY 23 IS SQUIRREL APPRECIATION DAY.
2021 IS CONAN THE BARBARIAN'S 50TH COMIC BOOK ANNIVERSARY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*It should come as no surprise that Kim Jong-un has been re-elected leader of North Korea’s Workers Party. But where’s his sister???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*FYI: There are coastal areas that accept used Christmas Trees to help rebuild sand dunes along the beach. Check with yours to see if this program is available in your area.
*FYI: Some zoos accept used Christmas Trees to help feed their animals. Check with yours to see if this program is available in your area.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Security Guard Brian Sicknick, who lost his life defending Capitol Hill January 6, 2021.
*Actor John Reilly (various soap operas, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional football🏈 players Carlos Joseph and Tim Lester have passed away. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Former professional baseball⚾ player Tom Acker is no longer with us.
*Film maker Stacy Title (2003 revival attempt of The Lone Ranger, Let The Devil Wear Black, more) has passed away.
*Actress Jessica Campbell (Election, Dad’s Day, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Siegfried Fischbacher has joined Roy Horn in that great animal sanctuary in the sky.
*Bass guitarist Tim Bogert (Vanilla Fudge, Cactus; Beck, Bogert and Appice) is no longer with us.
*Joanne Rogers has joined her husband Fred in the “ultimate neighborhood”.
*Actor Peter Mark Richman (original Dynasty, Friday the 13th Part 8, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*Suspect arrests continue across the United States in the ongoing search. (There are 7/SEVEN separate links in this item.)
*Trump businesses are losing business because of his involvement in events. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*The Health and Human Services Director, the acting Homeland Security Director and the Congressional Sergeant At Arms have all resigned. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Besides other social media bans and permanent suspensions, Trump can no longer post on YouTube until at least his time in office is over.
TRANSITION TIME…
*Joe Biden’s initial stimulus/economic recovery plans. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
POLITICALLY…
*Trump on potential second impeachment attempt and “other matters”. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*With the inauguration just days away, why is Mike Pompeo still promoting Trump's agenda???
*Trump is hoping to seriously cut the Federal budget before he leaves office, INCLUDING THE FUNDS NEEDED TO FIGHT COVID-19!
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19… (separated from the purely political news)
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
ELSEWHERE…
*“I’m not going to the White House.”—New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick.
*The first of the guest hosts has begun. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…