Sunday, April 30, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: PUN DAY!

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
The most excitement in my area right now is just staring out the window watching it rain. MEH!
Something I haven't done in quite a while is tell some puns. So, since it's a lot easier to seem them than the sun🌞 right now, let's have some fun on Pun Day!😼
Ready?

If the grandfather clock is still hungry, does it go back four seconds?
Then again, what do grandfather clocks eat anyway?

A wordy dinosaur is a thesaurus.

I tried to catch some fog once but mist.
I'm great at catching mice though and am proud to say there isn't a rodent in my people's house!😺

Bananas🍌🍌 are a popular fruit. They have such appeal.

Are broken pencils✎✎ pointless?
After all, they're almost as bad as a pen without ink but at least you can sharpen a pencil until there's nothing left of it and then...
MOVING ON!

A night owl🦉 tried to figure out where the sun disappeared to.
Then it finally dawned on him.

If a dog becomes a magician, does that make the canine a labracadabrador?

If a school takes a field trip to a soda factory, is there a pop quiz afterwards?

I would love to make a joke based upon Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings saga, but all the good ones Aragorn.

So on that note♫ take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 23-29, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 

BULLYING HAS TO STOP!

GET VACCINATED, WEAR YOUR MASK😷
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

MAY IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH.🎗
MAY IS ALSO ASIAN AMERICAN & PACIFIC ISLANDER HERITAGE MONTH.
MAY 1 IS MAY DAY.
MAY 2 IS FLAG DAY IN POLAND.
MAY 3 IS CONSTITUTION DAY FOR JAPAN AND POLAND.
MAY 4 IS STAR WARS DAY.
MAY 5 IS CINCO DE MAYO.
MAY 5 IS ISRAEL’S INDEPENDENCE DAY & CHILDREN’S DAY IN JAPAN.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The COVID state of the world, as of April 29, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of April 29, 2023.


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*May 3 sadly is the 20th anniversary of New Hampshire's Old Man of the Mountain unexpectedly collapsing.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Harry Belafonte (activist, humanitarian, and a long entertainment career) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Professional dancer/teacher and judge (Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing With The Stars) Len Goodman has taken his last turn on the dance floor.
*Television personality and former Mayor of Cleveland Jerry Springer is no longer with us.
*Former professional baseball⚾ (on winning teams for 1960 and 1964 World Series) and basketball🏀 player Dick Groat has passed away.
*Classic rocker Charles William “Wee Willie” Harris has performed his last concert.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*Opinion: How wrong is this??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
POLITICALLY…
💲THE BUDGET BATTLE…
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
STOP THE SENSELESS VIOLENCE!
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
ELSEWHERE…
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…


THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE WOULD LIKE TO THANK OUR CABLE/INTERNET PROVIDER FOR TURNING WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE "A BRIEF INTERMISSION OF SERVICE FOR SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE" INTO AN ELONGATED NIGHTMARE, HENCE JUST NOW GETTING TO POST THIS INSTALLMENT OF THE WEEK IN REVIEW!😲

Saturday, April 29, 2023

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 29, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
Lego makes its bricks out of the same plastic many hard hats are made of.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Two different versions of the same reality competition combine forces.


HUH? (misquotes)
The misquote is below. All you have to do is give us the correct quote and source. Ready?
“Hold me closer, Tony Danza.”

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the April 22, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
🥇
What was Mario’s first Nintendo appearance?
The original Donkey Kong game, but he was first known as Jump Man and the lady he kept rescuing wasn’t identified as Princess Peach.

WORD SEARCH
It’s been quite a while since this game was last played, and unfortunately we still cannot produce an interactive grid, but how many words either from left to right or from right to left can you find in the following: PADREDEVIL.
Left to right: Pa, Pad, Padre, Dred, Red, Devil, Evil.
Right to left: Live, Lived, Dap.

Sunday, April 23, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DOG GONE FUNNY

 Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!
Not really much to say at the moment.
It's raining☔⛆☔ and gloomy in my part of the world.
I look out the window and see nothing but gray skies and water falling down.
Makes it ruff rough whenever I have to briefly go out to take care of personal matters.
So even though I'm stuck indoors today, let's try to brighten the moment with some jokes. Ready?

Do topical comics get their news from the funny papers?
I know I like reading the comics. Snoopy, Buckles, and Marmaduke really make me laugh.

Do people love bananas🍌🍌 because they're appealing?
Personally I don't know, yet how else are you going to open one of them?

What does a giant parrot🦜 say?
"Polly wants a cracker. NOW!"

If you do something after the fact, does that make you retro active?
All these, and still no TARDIS! 😠

If a garbage man tries to give you stock tips, is he selling junk bonds?

When Superman's cape needs pressing, does he call Iron Man to do the job?

I don't know about you, but I find dry erase boards remarkable.

If something's wrong with your microscope, you should look into it.

When mimes need business help, do they look for silent partners?

Is a toupee company manager a big wig?

For anyone trying to put up wall paper, don't worry.
You'll get the hang of it.

And on that note♫ take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week and please be back again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!KC.

Saturday, April 22, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 16-22, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORE GUN RESPONSIBILITY!

BULLYING HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANNINGS AND BURNINGS! 


GET VACCINATED, WEAR YOUR MASK😷
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

APRIL 22 IS EARTH DAY!🌍
APRIL 22 IS THE 3OTH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE UNITED STATES’ HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL AND MUSEUM.
APRIL 22 IS RECORD STORE DAY.
APRIL 23 IS NATIONAL SOVEREIGNITY & CHILDREN'S DAY IN TURKEY.
APRIL 23 IS WORLD BOOK DAY. 📖
APRIL 25 IS ANZAC DAY FOR AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND,
LIBERATION DAY FOR ITALY.
APRIL 25 IS WORLD PENGUIN🐧 DAY.
APRIL 26 IS ISRAEL'S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
APRIL 26 IS WORLD INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY DAY.
APRIL 27 IS HAIRBALL AWARENESS DAY TO PROMOTE BETTER PET HEALTH.
APRIL 28 IS ARBOR DAY AND WORLD ASTRONOMY DAY.
2023 MARKS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF SOYLENT GREEN, THE MOVIE.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The COVID state of the world, as of April 22, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of April 22, 2023.


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*APRIL 22 IS EARTH DAY! WE ONLY HAVE ONE PLANET. TAKE CARE OF IT!
*April 25 is World Penguin🐧 Day.
April 28 is Arbor Day.🌲🌳🌴

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.
*Former professional football🏈 player Bob Berry has passed away.
*Former professional baseball⚾ player Dave Frost is no longer with us.
*Scientist Alfred L. Goldberg (work concerning proteins in cells) has passed away.
*Former professional basketball🏀 player and fund raiser Ernie Barrett is no longer with us.
*Football🏈 Hall of Fame member Dave Wilcox has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player Don McIlhenry is no longer with us.
*Actor/comedian Barry Humphries (Dame Edna Everage, Bedazzled, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
💲THE BUDGET BATTLE…
*Competing new proposals: a bipartisan one versus the new Republican plan that includes NO Student Loan Forgiveness. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*After the March 28 school shooting, Tennessee law makers have finally taken action: to protect gun manufacturers and dealers! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
ELSEWHERE…
*Even though things are apparently not going well for him at the moment, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis versus Disney continues. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*April 28 is the 235th anniversary of Maryland joining the United States.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 22, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
Nintendo actually ran a Game Counselors Hot Line from 1986-2005 to help players with their games.

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇
What was Mario’s first Nintendo appearance?

WORD SEARCH
It’s been quite a while since this game was last played, and unfortunately we still cannot produce an interactive grid, but how many words either from left to right or from right to left can you find in the following: PADREDEVIL.

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX 📦and discover the results from the April 15, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
An actor’s breakfast? = Kevin Bacon and Eggs.

SUPER SECONDS🥈
After the FAMOUS FIRSTS, what comes next?
April 15 was Jackie Robinson Day, celebrating the breaking of the color barrier in Major League Baseball.⚾ But after Robinson, who next made it?

Sunday, April 16, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: ANIMAL ANTICS

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
In case any of you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a cat😺 and being feline, I certainly know a lot of animals besides the other cats and the dogs that my people also keep within their house.

I wish they'd get a fish tank because I'd just love to stare at the fish🐟🐠 swimming around without a care in the world while mediating on life, the universe, and everything with or without Douglas Adams.
However my people refuse to do so because they think the only reason me or any other feline wants fish around is to have sushi on their dinner menu.🎣🍥
Nope. Not in my case, but even with the best legal team in the world I'm never going to convince my people otherwise.

In any event, I certainly talk to other animals besides the one's in my household and among the topics of discussion are jokes we share with each other, so with your kind indulgence I'm going to share some of them with you now.

Okay, that was a mighty long route for a segue, but you get the idea. Ready?

What's any animal's favorite button on the TV remote?
Paws, but when do we ever get to use the remote to begin with?

Have you ever heard a cow joke?
From the bovine's point of view, most of them are udderly not funny.

Would falling sheep🐑🐑 be a lamb slide?

One goat🐐 asked another, "Have you ever tried to eat a clock?"⏰
"Yeah, it's very time consuming."

The swordfish has few predators in the wild except for the seldom seen pen fish, which is said to be mightier. 
What kind of a bird sticks to stuff?
A vel-crow!

 A man came out of a dock side café with an order to go when a sea gull landed next to him.
The gull said, “Nice jacket.”
“Thanks,” replied the man.
“Be a shame if something happened to it," warned the gull. "Leave the food or prepare for a big laundry bill.”

Everybody thinks seeing a robin is a sure sign of Spring, but what does it mean when you see Batman too?
Either there's a dastardly villain nearby or you've been reading too many comic books.

Do starfish only swim at night?
I know they're pretty stingy giving their autograph to fans.

Why are teddy bears🧸🧸 never hungry?
Because they're always stuffed!

So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

Saturday, April 15, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 9-15, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORE GUN RESPONSIBILITY NOW!

BULLYING HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANNINGS AND BURNINGS! 
GET VACCINATED, WEAR YOUR MASK😷
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

APRIL 15 IS JACKIE ROBINSON DAY.⚾
APRIL 15 IS THE 85TH ANNIVERSARY OF HUEY, DEWEY AND LOUIE’S DEBUT
IN THE DISNEY CARTOON DONALD’S NEPHEWS.
APRIL 15 IS WORLD ART APPRECIATION DAY.
APRIL 20 IS THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE FOX TROT COMIC STRIP.
APRIL 22 IS EARTH DAY! WE ONLY HAVE ONE PLANET. TAKE CARE OF IT!
APRIL 22 IS THE 3OTH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE UNITED STATES’ HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL AND MUSEUM.
APRIL 22 IS RECORD⏺ STORE DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*While COVID and its variants continue to be a global problem, thankfully the vaccination battles continue too. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of April 15, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of April 15, 2023.

*Both the European Council and Poland are sending additional aid to the Ukraine. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*The Seine has been cleaned, for the 2024 Summer Olympics.
*APRIL 22 IS EARTH DAY! WE ONLY HAVE ONE PLANET. TAKE CARE OF IT!

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Musician Ian Bairnson (The Alan Parsons Project, Pilot) has passed away.
*Famed Mad magazine artist and creator of the back cover Fold In Al Jaffe is no longer with us.
*Actor Michael Lerner (Barton Fink, 8 Men Out, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress/screen writer Garn Stephens (Phyllis, The Sunshine Boys, St. Elsewhere, much more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Illustrator Ed Koren (The New Yorker, Don’t Talk To Strange Bears, other magazines and books) is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*How did that secret get out??? In this case, it wasn't him. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
💲THE BUDGET BATTLE…
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Justin Jones, one of the Tennessee House of Representative members expelled for wanting gun reform was  reinstated April 10 as his own “interim replacement”. Justin Pearson didn’t become his own “interim replacement” until April 12. Special elections are pending for both positions to be officially refilled, with both men expected to run. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*April 15 is Jackie Robinson Day, celebrating his breaking the color barrier in Major League Baseball.⚾
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
ELSEWHERE…
*All Americans must file their Federal Income Tax forms by April 18.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…