SUNDAY FUNNIES: INFAMOUS LAST WORDS

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here.

Now, we've all done things in life that we later regret, like the time I thought I was chasing a black and white cat out of my yard and it turned out to be a skunk. P-U!

You get the idea.
But while all I did was bark to get the trespasser out of my yard, a lot of you humans say some interesting things before you make a mistake. To wit...

After seeing someone do something amazing: "I can do that with my eyes closed."

When you're about to attempt doing something you know you shouldn't: "I've done this before."

When you're lost and don't know what to do next: "Well, we made it this far."

When you come across a wild animal in the woods: "I see the baby bear. Where's the mother?"

"I need help driving in this stake. Take that mallet and when I nod my head, you hit it."

When you're trying to help someone with something heavy: "Let it down slowly."

When you're trying to get your date to join you on the swing: "I'm sure this will hold both of us."

When you're trying out a new recipe: "Is it supposed to taste like this?"

When you're in a rush: "I can make this light before it changes."

When you're about to try something everyone else says you shouldn't because of the danger involved:

"The odds of that happening have to be a million to one."

When you're lost in the woods and hungry: "Are these the good kind of mushrooms?"

When you're trying to catch something: "I'll get it!" or "I got it!"

When you come across a new piece of equipment you've never seen before: "What does this button do?"

And on that note♫, have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.—AtP.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 19-25, 2016

CROATIA AND SLOVENIA CELEBRATE THEIR STATEHOOD TODAY.

JUNE 27th MARKS THE 50th ANNIVERSARY OF DARK SHADOWS.

JUNE 28th MARKS THE 65th ANNIVERSARY OF AMOS N' ANDY'S TELEVISION DEBUT. DESPITE THE STEREOTYPES, THIS WAS THE FIRST SHOW WITH AN ALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAST.

JUNE 28th MARKS THE 15th ANNIVERSARY OF THE CITADEL ACCEPTING QUALIFIED FEMALE CADETS.

JUNE 30th MARKS THE 80th ANNIVERSARY OF GONE WITH THE WIND  BY MARGARET MITCHELL BEING PUBLISHED.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*Great Britan has elected to withdraw from the European Union. While British Prime Minister David Cameron has announced he will resign by October because of this, many British citizens, now fully aware of the ramifications of what such a withdrawal will result in (although it hasn't formally started yet), have begun a petition demanding another vote on the question. Said petition already has over 2 MILLION signatures in just a little over a day and counting!
*Japanese forces are on high alert as North Korea prepares for another "missile test", although South Korea reports their Northern neighbor has already tested two intermediate range ballistic missiles this past week. Meanwhile, the United Nations is calling for all countries to strengthen their efforts to enforce the existing sanctions against North Korea.
*Five new species of orchids have been discovered in the Philippines.
*Astronomers have discovered a newborn planet in the universe!

TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*The Iraqi Army reports most of Fallujah has been reclaimed from ISIS/ISIL forces.
*ISIS/ISIL forces have officially declared war on the Philippines!
*Bombs and suicide bombers still seem to be the weapons of choice this past week.

PASSING PARADE...
*Actor Anton Yelchin (the current Star Trek films, Alpha Dogs, Fright Night) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Former equestrian Olympic Silver Medalist (1960, 1972) Frank Chapot has passed away.
*Composer (Reilly: Ace of Spies) and conductor (Cats, Chariots of Fire) Harry Rabinowitz is no longer with us.
*Author/screenwriter Michael Herr (Dispatches, Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...

*After the Senate failed to pass any of the four gun safety measures before them, Democrats in the House of Representatives tried holding a 1960s style sit-in to protest the situation. Not wanting to discuss the matter, Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan quickly adjourned that session for the duration so no work is being done at all!
*Still being a justice short since Congress refuses to hold an approval hearing concerning President Barack Obama's nominee for the vacancy, the Supreme Court refused to review assault weapons ban regulations in Connecticut and New York.
*The justice shortage also resulted in a 4-4 tie concerning President Obama's Executive Order of the Deferred Action for Parents of Americans Immigrant Shield Act, leaving over 5 million immigrants at risk of deportation because of a lower court ruling against the plan.
*President Barack Obama signed the Frank R. Lautenberg Chemical Safety for the 21st Century Act into law, the first overhaul of the rules in over 40 years.
*Michigan State's Attorney General has initiated a civil lawsuit over the contaminated water situation in Flint, Michigan and surrounding areas.
ELSEWHERE...
*The Cleveland Cavaliers have defeated the Golden State Warriors to win the 2016 NBA finals of professional basketball.
*Dustin Johnson won the 2016 U.S. Open of professional golf.
*Starting in the 2017-2018 season, Las Vegas will host a professional ice hockey team.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our ELSEWHERE feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 25, 2016

FUN FACT
A computer byte is actually 8 bits.

TRIVIA TIME
What was the name of the world's first electronic computer?

RHYME TIME
A clue to identify something is below, but regardless of how long your answer is, every word within it must rhyme. Ready?

The best officer on the force?

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the June 18, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
As the longest day of the year approached, how many new words could you form out of the letters in the word SOLSTICE?

Cel {short for celluloid, as in animation}, close(s), closest, coil(s), cost(s), cot(s)
I, ice(s), is, it, its
Lei(s), less, lest, let, lice, lie(s), list(s), lose(s), loss, lost, lot(s)
Oil(s)
Sec {short for second}, set(s), silo(s), sit(s), slice(s), slit(s), slot(s), soil(s), stole
Test(s), tile(s), toil(s), tis

More than the 58 words listed above might be possible.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
Who was the very first performer to ever portray Marvel Comics' Ant-man?

It was actually comedian Garret Morris, as part of a classic Saturday Night Live sketch when Margot Kidder hosted the show.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY FATHERS DAY 2016

Canine

Dragon

Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon as we celebrate Father's Day.
Are you ready with the jokes Waxy?

Me? I thought you had the jokes Autumn.

Guess we'll just have to wing it Waxy.

Shouldn't that be my line Autumn?

Anyway...

When a father goes golfing, why does he carry an extra pair of socks?
In case he gets a hole in one.

If every child gives their dad something that says they're number one, that is one heck of a tie!
Of course it beats some of the neck ties your father has probably received over the years.

A young English lad asked his father if he had ever been to Egypt.
The father replied no, which caused the child to ask, "Then where did you get mummy?"

Now, in ancient Egypt, if they had mummies, did they also have deaddies?

Do fathers always snore?
Only when they might be asleep.

What does a baby computer call its father?
Data.

And remember folks, being a parent is serious business.
After all, anyone can be a father. That's just simple biology.
But it takes someone special to be a dad.

In any event, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP & wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 12-18, 2016

JUNE 19th IS FATHERS' DAY IN SOME PARTS OF THE WORLD.
JUNE 20th IS THE SUMMER SOLSTICE.
JUNE 21st MARKS THE 25th ANNIVERSARY OF THE ROCKETEER MOVIE.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*British Parliament member Jo Cox died after being shot and stabbed in Birstall, West Yorkshire. Her assailant is in police custody.
*Fiji's United Nations' ambassador Peter Thomson has been elected President of its 71st General Assembly session.
*The Canadian House of Commons has approved a bill to make the lyrics in the country's national anthem O' Canada gender neutral.
*Yōichi Masuzoe resigned as the Governor of Tokyo, Japan over a potential political funding scandal.
*Former President of Chad Hissène Habré is appealing his life sentence for crimes against humanity.
*The International Olympic Committee upheld its ban on Russian track and field athletes participating in the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, due to various drug scandals.
*Microsoft has bought the professional networking site LinkedIn for $26.2-billion US dollars.
*An International team of scientists have developed a material that can clean nuclear waste gases from processing plants.

TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*Although ISIS/ISIL forces have since claimed responsibility and moral support of the man behind the tragic massacre at the Pulse nightclub in Florida, authorities have yet to find any actual evidence of the former claim.
*ISIS/ISIL forces have also attempted claiming responsibility for the murder of a Parisian Police Commander and his girlfriend, trying to instill additional fear as authorities chase at empty shadows trying to verify rumors.
*Otherwise, bombs and suicide bombers still seem to be the weapon dujour.
*Boko Haram forces attacked a funeral in Adamawa, Nigeria; killing 18 women, with more ladies reportedly still missing and feared kidnapped.

PASSING PARADE...
*The 49 victims of the tragic massacre at the Pulse nightclub in Florida.
*Actress Ann Marie Guilbert (The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Nanny, Grumpier Old Men) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Ecologist/zoologist Robert T. Paine, who coined the phrase "keynote species" is no longer with us.
*Actress Janet Waldo (The Jetsons, Wacky Races, Flintstones, etc.) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Author Lois Duncan (I Know What You Did Last Summer, Hotel for Dogs) has passed away.
*Actress Ronnie Claire Edwards (The Waltons, Designing Women) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Guitarist Henry McCullough (Wings, Joe Cocker) has passed away.
*Actress Yumi Shirakawa (Rodan, The Mysterians, H-Man) has taken her last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...

*While some have tried using the tragic massacre at the Pulse nightclub in Florida for political gain, even to the point of attempting to trash President Barack Obama...
*Democratic Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut launched a filibuster on the Senate floor in an effort to pass gun control legislation already in consideration that the Republicans were about to kill. The filibuster ended with an agreement from GOP Congressmen to actually hold a vote on the measures.
*Have Russian based hackers broken into and stolen the Democratic Party's research on Donald Trump?
ELSEWHERE...
*Hours before the tragic massacre at the Pulse nightclub in Florida, a man was arrested near the LA Pride Parade in California, driving a car filled with explosives and weapons!
*Hamilton swept the 2016 Tony Awards, winning 11; including Best Musical, Best Actor (Leslie Odom, Junior), Best Direction (Thomas Kail), Best Featured Actress (Renée Elise Goldsberry), Best Featured Actor (Daveed Diggs), Best Score and Best Book of a Musical (show creator Lin-Manuel Miranda), but fell short of The Producers 2001 record of 12 wins.
*Microsoft has bought the professional networking site LinkedIn for $26.2-billion dollars.
*If you count his record in Nippon Professional Baseball too, Ichiro Suzuki has surpassed Pete Rose's career hit record.
*The Pittsburgh Penguins defeat the San Jose Sharks to win the Stanley Cup of professional hockey.
*"Creator" won the 2016 Belmont Stakes, the last competition of professional horse racing's Triple Crown.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our ELSEWHERE feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 18, 2016

FUN FACT
Although medical science has yet to figure out why, children have more taste buds than adults!

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
With the longest day of the year approaching, how many new words can you form out of the letters in the word SOLSTICE?

FAMOUS FIRSTS
Who was the very first performer to ever portray Marvel Comics' Ant-man?

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from our June 11, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items within each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?

01. {Terry Brooks, R. A. Salvatore} and yes, we know they are both authors.
Both have written Star Wars novels. Brooks did the novelization of The Phantom Menace, while Salvatore contributed the original story Vector Prime.
02. {Walter Koeing, Samuel A. Peeples}
Both have written episodes for Star Trek: The Animated Series. Koeing contributed "The Infinite Vulcan" while Peeples wrote "Beyond the Farthest Star".

AKA (Also Known As)
By what more famous name do we know Nathan Birnbaum?
George Burns!

SUNDAY FUNNIES: A DRAGON OBSERVES LIFE (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Now, as I fly around, I can't help but notice all you humans out and about.
Depending upon where I go, there certainly are a lot of you, so I thought I'd share some of the things I've seen in my travels.

One man was so bored, he said to his friend, "Someday I should get myself a LIFE ALERT bracelet. Hopefully it will alert me should I ever get a life."
His friend replied, "Yeah. I know what you mean. I totally understand how batteries feel too. I'm rarely included in things either."

I once perched on the window of a courthouse and looked inside. One lawyer said to the judge, "I'd like a recess your honor. The witness's pants are on fire."
Never heard the actual testimony before that, but it must have been a real whopper.

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
An optimist sees a light at the end of it.
A realist sees a freight train.
An engineer sees three idiots standing in the middle of the track and throws on the brakes.

You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
But unless you're a REALLY great swimmer, I hope you're on a boat!

A man couldn't understand why he got fired from the calendar factory. All he did was take a day off.

Next time I'll send my jokes telepathically, so if you think of something funny out of the blue, that was me.
Meanwhile, have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 5-11, 2016

JUNE 12th MARKS THE 35th ANNIVERSARY OF RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*Hoping to improve relations between the two countries, New Zealand Prime Minister John Key visited Fiji.
*The World Health Organization advises women in areas with known cases of the Zika virus to delay becoming pregnant.
*June 11th marks the Queen's official birthday celebration in the United Kingdom.
*The International Tennis Federation suspended Maria Sharapova for two years after failing a drug test for meldonium before the Australian Open began.
*You soon may be able to add nihonium, moscovium, tennessine, and oganesson tp the periodic table of elements.
*Amazon.com is allegedly preparing to enter the streaming music service.
*ABBA recently reunited, briefly, to celebrate their 50th anniversary.

TERRIBLE TERRORISTS ACTIVITIES...
*Bombs are still the terrorists' weapon of choice this past week.
*The Taliban is also still executing prisoners. The latest known victims were 12 members Afghanistan security force members captured Ghazni Province ambushes between June 3 and 5.
*Meanwhile, it is suspected that ISIS/ISIL forces canNOT pay their fighters!

PASSING PARADE...
*Legendary professional hockey player Gordie Howe is no longer with us.
*Professional Mixed Martial Artist and actor Kimbo Slice (Kevin Ferguson) has passed away.
*Actress Theresa Saldana (Raging Bull, The Commish, I Wanna Hold Your Hand) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Chess Grandmaster Viktor Lvovich Korchnoi is no longer with us.
*Playwright/screenwriter Sir Peter Shaffer (Amadeus, Equus) has passed away.
*Christina Grimmie, a former The Voice contestant now with Before You Exit, was killed by an as yet unidentified assailant before killing himself attempting to flee authorities.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
*A RECALL OF NATURE MADE VITAMINS IS NOW UNDERWAY!

POLITICALLY...

*After this past week's primaries, Democrat Hillary Clinton and Republican Donald Trump are the presumed candidates for the 2016 Presidential election, although their parties' respective conventions this summer still need to make that official.
*After a White House meeting between the two Democratic candidates, President Barack Obama officially endorsed Clinton over Bernie Sanders.
*Meanwhile, Elizabeth Warren has officially endorsed Clinton too, leaving Trump to unfavorably compare Warren to Pocahontas.
*The surviving members of the rock group Queen have formally told the Republican candidate he does NOT have permission to use their music in his campaign.
*Would you believe Donald Trump's lawyer actually supports the Democrats?
*Is the Republican Party's new "Poverty Agenda" just more of the same old bull? And why have they still refuse to even hold a consideration hearing on President Obama's potential Supreme Court nominee???
*Did David Perdue, a Republican Senator from Georgia, actually pray in public for President Obama's death???
*Alabama State Speaker of the House Mike Hubbard (R) has automatically lost his position after being found guilty of ethics violations by a jury.
*The Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that there is no Second Amendment protection for concealed weapons, upholding a California law that does not consider "general self-defense" sufficient for a weapon's license.
*Medical marijuana is now legal in Ohio.
*President Obama was simply a proud father at his oldest daughter's Malia's high school graduation.
ELSEWHERE...
*Although Hurricane season in the United States is officially June 1 to November 30 this year, the Atlantic saw it's THIRD bout of activity with Tropical Storm Colin BEFORE the clock started.
*After losing its Invasion of Privacy Lawsuit filed by former professional wrestler Hulk Hogan and filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy protection, Gawker Media has agreed to be bought out by Ziff Davis.
*The rock group Black Sabbath has announced their final(?) United States tour dates.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our ELSEWHERE feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 11, 2016

FUN FACT
It requires more facial muscles to make a sad expression than to smile.

COMMON BONDS
The items within each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?

01. {Terry Brooks, R. A. Salvatore} and yes, we know they are both authors.
02. {Walter Koeing, Samuel A. Peeples}

AKA (Also Known As)
By what more famous name do we know Nathan Birnbaum?

We'll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results of the June 4, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?

Answer: NOBODY! To be entombed means your final resting place is above ground.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, only there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

TRUE OR FALSE: Walt Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is the world's first full length animated feature.

Answer: FALSE! Not to take anything away from Walt Disney's many accomplishments, but animator Charlotte "Lotte" Reiniger in Germany actually created full length silhouette animation productions BEFORE the Disney Studio movie.
Remember, the question said "the WORLD'S first full length animated feature." Snow White was the first full length animated feature in America.
More information can be found here.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: SMART JOKES

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!

Now, I like to think of myself as a smart dog. After all, how many canines do you know who can post on the Internet besides the usual stuff like fetch and protect the house from stray squirrels, cats, chipmunks, and the rare would-be prowler?

In any event, here are some jokes that might make one have to stop and think before you get the punchline, but I promise doing so won't hurt.

Teacher: Give me a a sentence with the word ANALYZE in it.
Student: My sister Anna lies in bed until nine o'clock.

Did you know that each time you see a full moon, you always see the same side?
Considering how cratered that side is, I'd hate to see the other end!

Did you know when lightning strikes, it can reach up to 30,000 degrees Celsius (54,000 degrees Fahrenheit)?
Shockingly hot, isn't it?

Did you know that honey is the only natural food that never spoils?
But considering what you have to go through to get it...

Adam and Eve were the first people to have ever not read the APPLE terms and conditions.

My first job was in an orange juice factory. I got fired because I could not concentrate.

And since today is National Donut Day here in America, remember: the center of the donut is 100% fat  free and has zero calories!

On that note, have a great week everybody, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MAY 29-JUNE 4, 2016

JUNE 4th IS UNITY DAY IN HUNGARY AND INDEPENDENCE DAY IN TONGA.

JUNE 5th IS NATIONAL DONUT DAY IN THE UNITED STATES.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*Thankfully, North Korea has yet to successfully launch a ballistic missile capable of striking South Korea or Japan.
*The Gotthard Base Tunnel has officially opened in the Swiss Alps as the longest railway tunnel in the world.
*Rodrigo Duterte has been proclaimed President of the Philippines.

*You might eventually be able to own a home in China, but the government will still own the land your house is standing on.

TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*Bombs are still the weapon dujour in this past week of attacks on civilians and military targets.
*Are ISIS/ISIL fighters trying to sell their sex slaves?

PASSING PARADE...
*Heavyweight boxing champion Muhammad Ali has passed away.
*Noted Humanitarian Rupert Neudeck is no longer with us.
*Famous sitcom writer Carla Lane (The Liver Birds, Butterflies, Bread) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*Did you know that Congress will not allow the Center For Disease Control to study gun violence?

*President Barack Obama will not use the "T word" because he doesn't want to "advertise" for you-know-who, but still can't believe Congress has taken no action to consider his Supreme Court nominee!
*The Libertarian Party has announced Gary Johnson as their 2016 Presidential candidate with William Weld as his running mate.
*While there is much talk of a possible third party candidate entering the 2016 Presidential Race to oppose presumed Republican nominee Donald Trump and whoever will represent the Democratic Party, many GOP members fear a repeat of the 1996 election between Bill Clinton and George H. W. Bush where third party candidate H. Ross Perot took votes away from Bush to allow Clinton the victory.
*California Governor Jerry Brown has officially endorsed Hillary Clinton while other Republicans question U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan's endorsing Donald Trump for President of the United States.
*So, did Donald Trump donate to Veteran causes or not? Meanwhile, has Trump University been nothing but a lie all these years?
ELSEWHERE...
*Research by the University of North Carolina reports that 26% of cancer patients can't afford to pay for their treatment, and 18% can't afford their prescriptions!
*Autopsy results reveal that Prince died of an overdose of fentanyl, an opioid painkiller 50 times more powerful than heroin!
*Pizza Hut promises to improve its ingredients by 2020.
*Driver Alexander Rossi won the 100th Indianapolis 500.
*The 2016 National Basketball Association Championship will be between the Golden State Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers.
*The World Golf Championship, previously held at Trump National Doral just outside of Miami, Florida; will be moving to Mexico City
*Whatever happened to mini-golf?

THE FREE CHOICE CELEBRATES ITS THIRD STRAIGHT MONTH OF 2,000+ PAGE VIEWS, WITH 2769 IN MAY 2016!

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our ELSEWHERE feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 4, 2016

FUN FACT
The average man spends about 5 months of his life shaving.

TRIVIA TIME
Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, only there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

TRUE OR FALSE: Walt Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is the world's first full length animated feature.

We'll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the May 28, 2016 Memorial Day weekend Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
When was the very first, official Memorial Day held?

Decoration Day officially became Memorial Day when Congress declared it a Federal holiday in 1967.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in the word MEMORIAL?

A, aero, ail, aim, air, ale, alm, am, ammo, are, arm
Ear, elm, em (a printer's measure), era
I, ire
Lair, lea, leo, liar, lie, lime
Ma, mail, male, mar, mar, me, meal, mil (wire thickness), mile, mime, mire, mole, moral, morale, more
Oar, oil, oiler, ole, or, ore
Rail, ram, real, realm, ream, rile, rim

More than the 51 words listed above might be possible.