Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Not sure how things are in your neck of the woods, but it's raining like crazy where I am right now, so while I'm safe and dry in my people's house, let me root through all my various and assorted joke files and see what fun I can dig up. Ready?
Carpenter Ants🐜 are like regular ants except ♫Rainy Days and Mondays Never Get Them Down.♫
If a drummer🥁 comes out of retirement, will there be repercussions?
Give a man two sticks and he thinks he is a drummer🥁. Give him one stick and he thinks he’s a conductor.
Give me a stick and I'll gnaw on it for awhile, but I'm certainly not going outside to chase it in this weather.
Besides, if you wanted to keep the stick after I bring it back to you, why did you throw it away to begin with?
Interviewer: “What are your future plans?”
Interviewer: “No, I mean your long term plans?”
After all, what is this guy expecting? I'm a puppy🐕, not a college graduate.
A man, stranded on a desert island, sees an old bottle wash up on shore with a message inside.
He thinks it's possible someone knows he's there and is sending help until he reads what the message says...
“We’ve been trying to reach you regarding your car’s extended warranty.”
If you notice cows🐄🐮🐄 sleeping in the field, does that mean it’s pasture bedtime?
It's either that or they're interrupting the game!
I wrote a book about poltergeists. It’s flying off the shelves.
What is the easiest way to upset a person?
Tell the truth!
On that note♫ have a great week everybody!
And please be back with us again next weekend as The Easter Bunny🐰 guest hosts The Sunday Funnies!—AtP.