Sunday, March 28, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: MUTTING ABOUT (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Not sure how things are in your neck of the woods, but it's raining like crazy where I am right now, so while I'm safe and dry in my people's house, let me root through all my various and assorted joke files and see what fun I can dig up. Ready?

Carpenter Ants🐜 are like regular ants except ♫Rainy Days and Mondays Never Get Them Down.♫

If a drummer🥁 comes out of retirement, will there be repercussions?

Give a man two sticks and he thinks he is a drummer🥁. Give him one stick and he thinks he’s a conductor.
Give me a stick and I'll gnaw on it for awhile, but I'm certainly not going outside to chase it in this weather.
Besides, if you wanted to keep the stick after I bring it back to you, why did you throw it away to begin with?

Interviewer: “What are your future plans?”
Me: “Lunch.”
Interviewer: “No, I mean your long term plans?”
Me: “Dinner.”
After all, what is this guy expecting? I'm a puppy🐕, not a college graduate.

A man, stranded on a desert island, sees an old bottle wash up on shore with a message inside.
He thinks it's possible someone knows he's there and is sending help until he reads what the message says...
“We’ve been trying to reach you regarding your car’s extended warranty.” 

If you notice cows🐄🐮🐄 sleeping in the field, does that mean it’s pasture bedtime?
It's either that or they're interrupting the game!

I wrote a book about poltergeists. It’s flying off the shelves.

What is the easiest way to upset a person?
Tell the truth!

On that note♫ have a great week everybody!
Take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back with us again next weekend as The Easter Bunny🐰 guest hosts The Sunday Funnies!AtP.

Saturday, March 27, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 21-27, 2021


♫AND ANY TIME YOU FEEL THE PAIN
HEY JUDE, REFRAIN,
DON'T CARRY THE WORLD UPON YOUR SHOULDERS.
FOR YOU KNOW THAT IT'S A FOOL
WHO PLAYS IT COOL
BY MAKING HIS WORLD A LITTLE COLDER.♫
—The Beatles.



BEWARE ANY VERSION

MARCH 28 IS PALM SUNDAY AND THE BEGINNING OF PASSOVER,
FOR THOSE OBSERVING.
APRIL 1 IS APRIL FOOLS’ DAY &
THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY OF APPLE COMPUTERS.
APRIL 2 IS WORLD AUTISM AWARENESS DAY & GOOD FRIDAY.
APRIL 4 IS EASTER AND PASSOVER, FOR THOSE OBSERVING.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The world’s stats, as of March 27, 2021.
*Why the Myanmar coup, from the usurper’s perspective. Yet the killings continue. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Actor George Segal (credits too numerous to mention) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Author Beverly Cleary (credits too numerous to mention) is no longer with us.
*Professional basketball🏀 legend Elgin Baylor has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player Fred Wyant is no longer with us.
*Country singer Taylor Dee has passed away.
*Actor Kim Tyler (TV version of Please Don’t Eat The Daisies, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Houston Tumlin (Talagdega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional baseball⚾ player and coach Mike Bell has passed away.
*Author Larry McMurtry (credits too numerous to mention) is no longer with us.
*Actress Jessica Walter (credits too numerous to mention) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Richard Gilliland (credits too numerous to mention) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*“President” Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*COVID Variants in the US. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Republican House of Representatives member Tom Reed (New York) has announced he won’t run for reelection in 2022.
*Republican Georgia State Representative Jody Hice will not seek reelection in hopes of obtaining a higher office next year.
ELSEWHERE…
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: MARCH 27, 2021

😎FUN FACT
Manufacturers started adding iodine to table salt in 1924.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
After reading the Fun Fact above, the question is: WHY?

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
Which team did the most movies together:
Robert Redford and Paul Newman or Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the March 20, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
What band was originally known as Starfish?⭐
Coldplay.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?


Sunday, March 21, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: KATT FAMILY PHOTOS

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

Yesterday was the Spring Equinox, which means Spring has sprung, although why it was so tightly wound to begin with is beyond me.

But the days will finally start getting longer and warmer, despite the fact that so far they're taking their own sweet time doing so.
That means eventually my people will be able to turn off the heater and open a few windows around here to air out the place and I'll get to enjoy a nice warm breeze wafting across my fur as I enjoy my afternoon sunbeam (ie: nap).

Yet while the days start to warm, the nights will unfortunately still be cool or cold for the time being. Who's in charge of weather to begin with: that stupid groundhog?

In any event, I thought I'd share some photos with you from the Katt family album...

Some folks are able to spend a ton of money on deluxe cat accommodations. I live in a nice two story, five bedroom and three litter pan house myself.
But some felines have to rough it, as seen in the photo on the left.
Then again, in such a big household, especially if there's multiple cats around, there's something to be said for a little privacy now and then. 😼







On the right is a family photo of my cousins, the Pussy Willows.

Below is the first of two photos with Uncle Shadow, who has since crossed the proverbial Rainbow Bridge.
He was always the thinker of his branch of the family tree.
Here he's contemplating Life, The Universe, and Everything Else, including how to acquire his own cat food.
Hey, us felines have to have our priorities! 😸
The image below has been cropped from a much larger photo for decency, so please get your stray thoughts out of the litter box.
My Uncle Shadow spent most, if not his entire 9 lives, pondering that weird invention you humans use.
I mean seriously, a litter box that cleans itself just by pulling a lever? WOW! 🙀
Uncle Shadow always said once he figured that thing out, his next project was going to be examining the can opener because for one thing, where were the cat food cans before they needed to be opened?
But considering he never solved the Porcelain Puzzle... 😿



And below is Uncle Max in his younger days, doing his "Please, Please" routine.
Nobody knows how he self taught himself that trick, but it was a staple of his life until he crossed the Rainbow Bridge too.






And on that note♫, take care. Have a great week.
STAY SAFE! 😷
And I'm sure if he was here right now, Uncle Max would be saying "Please, Please" be with us next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

Saturday, March 20, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 14-20, 2021


THIS IS THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE’S 2500TH BLOG POST!




BEWARE ANY VERSION

MARCH 20 IS THE SPRING EQUINOX!
MARCH 20 IS NOWRUZ, MARKING THE IRANIAN/PERSIAN NEW YEAR.
MARCH 22 IS WORLD WATER DAY.
MARCH 25 IS THE 200TH ANNIVERSARY OF
GREECE ESTABLISHING INDEPENDENCE.
MARCH 28 IS PALM SUNDAY AND THE BEGINNING OF
PASSOVER, FOR THOSE OBSERVING.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Is there a problem with the Astra-Zeneca vaccine??? (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*Having illegally usurped power, the Myanmar Military continues to hold sway. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced pending changes to the United Kingdom’s foreign policy.
*So where do American/Russian relations stand at the moment??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Thornton’s of Britain is closing, due to the pandemic.
*The annual Pulp Factory Awards Ballot is now open to the reading public between now and March 28.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*March 22 is World Water Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Actor Yaphet Kotto (James Bond’s Live and Let Die, Alien, Homicide: Life on the Street, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional baseball⚾ players Ed Armbrister and Orville “Coot” Veal have passed away. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Former professional football player🏈s and coaches Rusty Tillman and Bill Young are no longer with us.
*Former professional football player🏈 and state Senator Robert A. Pascal has passed away.
*Actor Henry Darrow (The High Chaparral, Zorro, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional hockey🏒 player Ray Cullen is no longer with us.
*Noted marathon runner🏃 Dick Hoyt has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…

*“President” Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
*So where do American/Russian relations stand at the moment??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*President Biden finally has his Secretary of the Interior and CIA Director, along with Secretary of Health and Human Services! (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Can you believe Republican Senator Rick Scott is hoping states will RETURN the COVID-19 relief/stimulus funds!
ELSEWHERE…
*The annual Pulp Factory Awards Ballot is now open to the reading public between now and March 28.
*March 27 marks the 10th anniversary of the Nintendo 3DS being released in North America.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: MARCH 20, 2021

😎FUN FACT
This is our 2,499 Blog post! The March 14-20 edition of The Week In Review will be #2500!

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
What band was originally known as Starfish?⭐

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?




We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the March 13, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
How many of his movies did James Dean actually see released in his lifetime?
1 = East of Eden. The rest were all released posthumously.😢

RHYME TIME⌛
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?
The (in)famous Hughes Aircraft.
Spruce Goose.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

SAINT PATRICK'S DAY 2021

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY me fine lads and lasses.
Has it truly been a year since I was here last?
O'boy how times flies.

Besides honoring the Patron Saint of the Emerald Isle, March 17 is also Saint Gertude's Day.
Patrick may have driven the snakes out of Ireland, and I haven't seen any of those reptiles around lately meself, Gertude is the Patron Saint of Cats🐱, but please don't call her a crazy cat lady.

In any event Larry the Leprechaun here, pausing to celebrate with everyone as part of all the events on my long agenda for today.
Of course, said agenda is still seriously altered by the COVID-19 Pandemic.
Things may be improving now that there are vaccine(s) on the horizon, but even we leprechauns know how important one's health is not only to themselves and their loved ones, but to the rest of the world🌍 as well.

If any of you are wondering, leprechauns are lucky, under certain circumstances. But ever since that one bloke hooked up with that cereal company, the rest of us can't come right out and call ourselves lucky any more.

Anyway, whether you prefer cats🐱 or shamrocks🍀, today be Saint Patrick's Day, where even those who cannot claim any ancestry to the Emerald Isle be Irish today as we honor the great Saint Patrick himself. You'll have to talk to whoever is in charge of calendars to find out why Gertude doesn't even get mentioned.
That doesn't sound fair to me.

While the day first began as a purely religious observance during Lent, it has certainly grown beyond anyone's imagination to become a holiday of anything and everything Irish, whether it be legend or fact.
However, that does not prevent me from telling everyone some fine Irish inspired humor.

What's Irish and stays outside in your yard all the time?
Patty O'Furniture.

Why did good Saint Patrick drive the snakes🐍 out of Ireland?
Because it was too far for them to walk.

Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
Because ye don't want to press your luck.

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A sham rock.
Of course music wise, some of us leprechauns really like shamrock and roll🎵.

What kind of bow cannot be tied?
A rainbow.🌈

What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
Some poor horse🐎 is walking around bare foot!

Why do frogs🐸 love Saint Patrick's Day?
Because they're already green.

And now, before I must part company with all ye fine people, let me pause to wish everyone the best in life. Until we meet again...

May the road rise up to meet ye to ease your travels
May the wind always be at your back to make the journey quicker
May the sun shine warm upon your face to make your trip more comfortable
May the rains fall softly upon your fields to make your crops more bountiful.
May a rainbow always follow the rain.
May your needs never meet lack.
And may the hand of a friend always be within reach.

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!
HAPPY SAINT GERTUDE'S DAY!

If you're able to do so today, please party responsibly and safely.😷
Then again, while alcohol isn't needed to do so,
life should be celebrated EVERY day!

Sunday, March 14, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY PI DAY 2021

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Before I can get to this week's theme, there is one important Public Service Announcement I have to make.
♫25 or 6 to 4?♫

If you had to set your clocks ahead one hour last night to observe Daylight Savings Time and forgot to, YOU'RE LATE  to wherever you had to be today!😟

Now then...
Today is March 14, 2021.
Happy PI Day!
PI Day?
March is the third month of the year and today is the fourteenth.
03-14
3.14
PI! 𝛑
An irrational number that cannot be fully expressed as a fraction, although most scientists and mathematicians prefer to write it as 22 over 7.
It is an unique number whose exact decimal representation cannot be completely calculated because it never ends nor repeats to a scientific conclusion. The number sequence representing PI, as seen in the image below, is derived from trying to divide 22 by 7.

A few speculate that the answers to the universe can be found in the equation, although I always thought that was either 42 or "What do you get when you multiply 6 by 9?"😊

In the classic Star Trek episode "Wolf in the Fold", the Enterprise's computer was ordered to compute Pi to the last digit as part of an attempt to defeat the enemy of the week. We were never told the answer, although I like to think they would have figured it out by Captain Kirk and Mister Spock's time.

Okay. That concludes this smart puppy's science and history lessons for today. Now on with the jokes!😎
Pumpkin PI 😉

PI is difficult to have a conversation with because it will just go on forever!

What do you call a number that can't keep still?
A Roman Numeral.

Why does everyone hate the number 288?
It's two gross.

Is the moon really made of cheese or is it just a PI in the sky?

What's the best way to visualize infinity?
With a PI Chart!

And on that note♫ have a great week everybody!
Because it's on a Wednesday this year, Larry the Leprechaun will be here March 17 to host our annual St. Patrick's Day Salute.🍀
Take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!AtP.

Saturday, March 13, 2021

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 7-13, 2021

BEWARE ANY VERSION

MARCH 14 IS PI 𝛑 DAY.
MARCH 15 IS THE 65TH ANNIVERSARY OF MY FAIR LADY’S BROADWAY DEBUT.
MARCH 17 IS SAINT PATRICK’S DAY.🍀
MARCH 18 IS THE 255TH ANNIVERSARY OF
GREAT BRITAIN REPEALING THE STAMP ACT.
MARCH 18 IS THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO TV SHOW.
MARCH 20 IS THE SPRING EQUINOX!

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*COVID-19 vaccinations continue around the world. (There are 5/FIVE separate links in this item.)
*The Myanmar coop continues as the press is being suppressed and protestors, including a 13 year old child, are killed! (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: In defense of Pepe Le Pew and Speedy Gonzales. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*March 22 is World Water Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Current King of the Zulus Goodwill Zwelithini kaBhekuzulu is no longer with us.
*Artist Frank Thorne (Red Sonja, numerous other works) has passed away.
*Journalist Roger Mudd is no longer with us.
*Author Norton Juster (The Phantom Tollbooth, The Dot and The Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics, more) has passed away.
*The multi-talented Trevor Peacock (various stage productions, The Vicar of Dibley, Fred Claus, wrote ♫Mrs. Brown You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter♫, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Documentary maker Leon Gast (When We Were Kings, The Grateful Dead Movie, more) is no longer with us.
*Former professional football🏈 player/coach/executive Steve Ortmayer has passed away.
*Lou Ottens, inventor of the cassette tape, is no longer with us.
*Director Norman J. Warren (various horror films) has passed away.
*Actor Cliff Simon (the Stargate franchise, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*“President” Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*The journalist was acquitted, but why was she arrested in the first place???
*Did the bakery really say "No Union or be deported!"???
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*The Relief Bill IS officially signed into law, and what it means to you. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Republican Senator Tom Cotton (yes, that’s his real name) versus President Biden nominee Vanita Gupta.
ELSEWHERE…
*Opinions: In defense of Pepe Le Pew and Speedy Gonzales. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*And the nominees for the 2021 Razzies (celebrating the worst movies of the past year) are...
*Daylight Savings Time will start overnight March 13/14 for the United States.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…