Sunday, July 28, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: ♫On The Road Again♫ (travel jokes)

Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!

During the summer months a lot of people like to travel.
Others, for whatever reason(s), prefer to stay home and just kick back and relax.
Me? I'm in the last group because basically being a dog, I have no money to begin with.
Granted, I have a Dog License, but my people won't let me behind the wheel of their car to drive somewhere and the only time I ever am allowed in it is to go to the Vet so they can stick a thermometer some place it don't belong to take my temperature!

In any event, today's Sunday Funnies is all about vacations and traveling. Ready?

Wife: “You really have no sense of direction.”
Husband: “Where did that come from?”
Wife: "You said we'd be at our destination three hours ago and all you did was get us lost."
Husband: "Men don't get lost. We just find alternate destinations."

As ye walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you should have used Google Maps.

Is it true that U-Haul has the worst drivers of any company?

If cars have to be road worthy, shouldn’t our roads be car worthy?

For families, going away isn’t really a vacation.
It's just looking after your kids in a different location.

Never stay at a hotel called THE FIDDLE.🎻 It was really a vile inn.

“Hey Joe! I saw you on the other side of the museum yesterday.”
“Why didn’t you come over and say hello?”
“Too much history between us."

Did you know there are no Canaries on the Canary Islands?
Then why call it the Canary Islands?

If you ever study a map of Europe, the difference between Ireland and Iceland is one C.

When I'm on the road, I like to pretend I am a pirate of the Car-I-Be-In.

Sign on the road right after the posted speed limit:
DRIVE SLOW AND SEE OUR LITTLE TOWN.
DRIVE FAST AND SEE OUR LITTLE JAIL.

If you get lost in the woods, erect a quick shelter.
Before long the Building Inspector will be by to make sure everything is up to code and the Property Tax man will show up to charge you.

And remember: One often meets destiny on the road you take to avoid it.
So on that note♫, have a great week.
Take care.
STAY SAFE!
And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—KC.

Saturday, July 27, 2024

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 21-27, 2024: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS


WE NEED MORE
GUN RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

JULY 27 IS THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY OF PRINCE'S PURPLE RAIN: THE MOVIE.
JULY 29 IS INTERNATIONAL TIGERπŸ… DAY.
JULY 30 IS INTERNATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*An oil tanker capsized off the Philippines’s coast July 25, costing one sailor his life and heralding an effort to prevent an ecological disaster.
*Typhoon Gaemi plagued the Pacific this past week, but is now only a tropical storm at best.
*The COVID state of the world, as of July 27, 2024.

*The spectacular opening ceremonies July 26. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)

*There are 5/FIVE separate links in the header above.



THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*The 2024 Canadian Wildfire season continues. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)

🌌SPACE NEWS…
*Things that the James Webb Telescope has recently found. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

😒PASSING PARADE…
*Singer, songwriter, guitarist Jerry Miller (Moby Grape, The Rhythm Dukes, long solo career when not with others) has passed away.
*Singer Duke Fakir of The Four Tops is no longer with us.
*Blues Legend John Mayall has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*Puerto Rico, Missouri, Kentucky and the Chickasaw Nation are now eligible for Federal Disaster Relief assistance. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
πŸ—ΉELECTION 2024…
*President Joseph Biden has officially ended his bid for re-election! While Biden has endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris, who will be the official Democratic candidate remains to be seen.
*Yet Harris versus Trump has already begun. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Candidate Trump is demanding equal air time after President Biden’s “Why I’m no longer campaigning” speech July 23, despite the fact Biden never mentioned Trump by name. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*Except for administrative/clerical functions, the Court is in recess until the first Monday of October.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
*Vice Presidential hopeful JD Vance on Diet Mountain Dew, abortion and childless adults. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
About Vice President Kamala Harris…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID…
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Tennessee Republican Representative Andy Ogles wants to impeach Vice President Kamala Harris. Of course he announced this after President Biden decided not to seek re-election.
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
The Classified Documents Trial…
New York’s ‘Hush Money’ Trial…
*Manhattan District Attorney is opposing Trump’s attempt to get his 34 convictions thrown out after the Supreme Court’s ruling concerning Presidential Immunity. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
Other Trump Issues include…
ELSEWHERE…
πŸ˜€AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 27, 2024

 πŸ˜ŽFUN FACT
Scientists estimate the global bird population eats between 400-500 million tons of insects a year!

RHYME TIME⏰
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?
Old slang for really loyal.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in OLYMPICS?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOXπŸ“¦ and discover the results from the July 20, 2024 Puzzle Corner.

HUH?
(misquotes)
The misquote is below. All you have to do is give us the correct quote and source. Ready?
♫Wrapped up like a deuce, another rumor in the night.♫
Correct: ♫Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.♫ from the song Blinded By The Light.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
Besides being unwanted emails, what else does Spam mean?
SPiced hAM, made since 1937.

Sunday, July 21, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: IT'S SUNDAE! (2024 edition)

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

Believe it or not, today is ICE CREAM DAY!🍦🍨
Have you ever had a Sundae on a Sunday?
In any event, it's time to serve up some delicious jokes. Ready?

Do Ice Cream makers learn their craft in Sundae School?

Is it true some people only take up jogging because the ice cream truck doesn't stop for them?

If ice cream is ever banned, you can always have that dumb law declared un-cone-stitutional!

“Hey, Ernie would you like some ice cream?”
“Sure, Bert.”

You'll never see ice cream play tennis because they soft serve.

Did the reporter cover ice cream news because he was hoping for a scoop?

If the ice cream couple had a baby, would that make the father a popsicle?

Should ice cream carry an umbrella with them in case of sprinkles?

If you eat ice cream out of the container, do the calories still count?
After all, since there is no dirty dish, you didn't have an actual serving.
Of course, except for the missing ice cream and the dirty spoon, there's no proof you ate it.😼

Let's hope the ice cream trucks don't break down on rocky roads.
And by the way, they make special varieties that are safe for pets. HINT HINT!😸

So on that note♫ have a great week!
Take care.
STAY SAFE!
And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.
 

Saturday, July 20, 2024

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 14-20, 2024: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED MORE
GUN RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

JULY 21 IS THE 70TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE GENEVA ACCORDS DIVIDING VIETNAM.
JUNE 21 IS BELGIUM'S NATIONAL DAY.
JULY 21 IS THE 55TH ANNIVERSARY OF
NEIL ARMSTRONG & EDWIN ALDRIN JR’S HISTORIC MOON WALK.
JULY 21 IS ALSO ICE CREAM DAY.
JULY 24 IS THE 55TH ANNIVERSARY OF
APOLLO 11 SAFELY RETURNING TO EARTH.
JULY 24 IS PIONEER DAY IN UTAH.
JULY 26 IS LIBERIA’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
THE SUMMER OLYMPICS START JULY 26.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The COVID state of the world, as of July 20, 2024.

*There are 5/FIVE separate links in the header above.


THE TERRORIST REPORT…

*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

🌌SPACE NEWS…
*NASA has canceled its water seeking mission, but moon exploration will continue.

😒PASSING PARADE…
*Vietnam's current General Secretary Nguyα»…n PhΓΊ Trọng is no longer with us.
*Congressional Representative Sheila Jackson Lee has passed away while in office.
*Legendary comedian Bob Newhart (too many great credits over a decades long career) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional football🏈 player Abner Haynes is no longer with us.
*Actress Cheng Pei-Pei (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon;; Mulan, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Shannen Doherty (the Beverly Hills 90210 franchise, Charmed, and much more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional football🏈 player and Super Bowl 47 winner Jacoby Jones has passed away.
*Former professional basketballπŸ€ player turned coach Joe Bryant is no longer with us.
*Actor James B. Sikking (Doogie Howser, MD.; Hill Street Blues, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Noted Chef Naomi Pomeroy is no longer with us.
*Former professional football🏈 player Vincent Burns has passed away.
*Singer and social activist Bernice Johnson Reagon is no longer with us.
*Former Major League Baseball⚾ player Jerry Walker has passed away.
*Fitness guru Richard Simmons is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
πŸ—ΉELECTION 2024…
*At the Republican Convention, Candidate Donald Trump accepted the nomination to run for office again and announced Senator JD Vance as his Vice Presidential running mate. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Candidate Trump versus the United Auto Workers. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Candidate Trump’s position on Taiwan and that country's response. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*Except for administrative/clerical functions, the Court is in recess until the first Monday of October.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
😷THE US VERSUS COVID…
*COVID cases are rising again in seven states: California, Arkansas, Florida, Maryland, Nevada, Oregon and Texas.
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
The Classified Documents Trial…
*It comes as no surprise to many, but Trump appointed Judge Aileen Cannon has dismissed ALL charges against the accused under the ruling that Special Counsel Jack Smith was “unlawfully appointed with no authority to bring the case to court”.
ELSEWHERE…
*Caitlin Clark of the WNBAπŸ€ has set a new milestone.
*The American League defeated the National League 5-3 in the 2024 All Star Game of Major League Baseball⚾, with the Boston Red Sox’s Jarren Duran named MVP.
πŸ˜€AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JULY 20, 2024

 πŸ˜ŽFUN FACT
The existence of a wild dog-fox hybrid was confirmed in Brazil 2023.

HUH? (misquotes)
The misquote is below. All you have to do is give us the correct quote and source. Ready?
♫Wrapped up like a deuce, another rumor in the night.♫

TRIVIA TIME
Besides being unwanted emails, what else does Spam mean?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the July 13, 2024 Puzzle Corner.
WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫But while they’re busy kissing him well I’m just kissing dirt.♫
“The Unknown Stuntman”, theme song to The Fall Guy television series. Sung by Lee Majors, the line is the third verse, heard during the pilot and the official soundtrack recording.

FAMOUS FIRSTSπŸ₯‡
Who was the first actor or actress to ever appear on the cover of Time magazine?
Charlie Chaplin, on the July 6, 1925 issue.

Sunday, July 14, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WEEKEND PUPDATE

 HEY FOLKS! WE'RE TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT TODAY. HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

And now it's time for Weekend Pupdate with your host, Koda Canine.

Hello Everybody.
Please do not attempt to adjust your computer, I AM a talking dog.
And now, the lighter side of the news.

The Swedish rock group ABBA has gotten back together to join entertainer Elvis Costello on a new tour, but the two acts haven't decided yet who the opener will be.
More on this story when ABBA and Costello decide who's on first.

After being intensely grilled by authorities for over two hours, the chickenπŸ” still wouldn't say why it crossed the road.

Scientist recently placed a ten piece set of plastic containers in a sealed chamber. When they opened it a month later, the chamber had 24 lids that did not match any of the remaining six containers.

Because it's been around since the 1990s, the Internet is no longer considered a passing fad.

And now, a brief paws for this commercial message.
ParachuteπŸͺ‚ for sale. Only used once. Never opened.
Call 555-SPLAT for more details.

A local parsley farmer lost his lawsuit against the Internal Revenue Service and is now having his wages garnished until the back taxes are paid.

The developer of the concept of Wind Chill recently passed away.
He was 82 but swore he felt like 64.

The word Queue has been declared ironic. After all, it's just a Q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line. 

AND HERE'S THE SPORTS SCORES.
4-3, 2-5, and 7-9. In the games just getting underway, it's 0-0.

IN WEATHER...
Rooms without air conditioning are hot.

AND FINALLY...
Cereal spokesman Count Chocula, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and the Teddy Grahams Spokes Bear have decided to join their local volunteer fire department to help out their community.
S'more to come.

So on that note♫, have a great week.
Take care.
STAY SAFE!
And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!KC.

Saturday, July 13, 2024

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JULY 7-13, 2024: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 BREAKING NEWS!
(Happened after initial posting.)

While the former President suffered minor injury, one spectator was killed and two more injured.
(Each highlighted line was an active link at the time of updating.)

AND NOW BACK TO THE WEEK IN REVIEW AS ORIGINALLY POSTED JULY 13.

WE NEED
MORE GUN
RESPONSIBILITY

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

JULY 14 IS BASTILLE DAY IN FRANCE.
JULY 16 IS THE 55TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE HISTORIC LAUNCH OF APOLLO 11.
JULY 16 IS THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF STARGATE: ATLANTIS.
JULY 17 IS SOUTH KOREA’S CONSTITUTION DAY & WORLD EMOJI DAY.😎
JULY 17 IS THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY OF
APOLLO & SOYUZ SPACE CAPSULES DOCKING TOGETHER.
(They would separate 2 days later.)
JULY 20 IS THE 55TH ANNIVERSARY OF
APOLLO 11 CAPSULE LANDING ON THE MOON.
JULY 21 IS THE 55TH ANNIVERSARY OF ASTRONAUTS
NEIL ARMSTRONG & EDWIN ALDRIN, JUNIOR
WALKING ON THE LUNAR SURFACE.
JULY 21 IS THE 70TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE GENEVA ACCORDS DIVIDING VIETNAM.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌏RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The COVID state of the world, as of July 13, 2024.

🌍NATO NEWS…
*NATO held its annual summit in the United States and helped the Ukraine. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*There are 5/FIVE separate links in the header above.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

🌌SPACE NEWS…
*July 16 marks the 55th anniversary of the start of the historic Apollo 11 mission that eventually landed astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, Junior on the moon.

😒PASSING PARADE…
*Astronaut John Engle is no longer with us.
*Actress Shelley Duvall (The Shining, Popeye, much more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Mary Martin the talent scout is no longer with us.
*Actress-producer Judy Belushi-Pisano (The Blues Brothers, Animal House, widow of John Belushi) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Biochemist Bengt Samuelsson (1982 Nobel Prize winner in Physiology/Medicine) is no longer with us.
*Child star Benji Gregory (ALF and other television shows) has taken his last bow on life’s stage. (His passing was just recently made public.)
*Noted therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer is no longer with us.
*Joe Bonsall of The Oak Ridge Boys has passed away.
*Artist Bill Viola, "The Rembrandt of the Video Age", is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*July 19 is the 40th anniversary of Geraldine Ferraro becoming the first female Vice Presidential candidate. She and Walter Mondale would lose to Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush that November.
πŸ—ΉELECTION 2024…
*“I’m not dropping out of the race.”—President Biden to fellow Democrats.
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*Petitions are being circulated in hopes of having Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito impeached. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Except for administrative functions, the Court is in recess until the first Monday of October.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*The hotel wouldn’t consider hiring an African American, but they did call him for an interview thinking he was Caucasian???
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
The Classified Documents Trial…
New York’s ‘Hush Money’ Trial…
ELSEWHERE…
*A Judge has declared no bankruptcy for Rudy Giuliani, who now must pay off his creditors and law suits.
*While another Boeing plane lost a wheel, the company has entered a plea deal to avoid trial over past crashes. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Speculation: The future of education???
πŸ˜€AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…