Sunday, September 24, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: SPICING THINGS UP

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here.

For better or worse the Summer season is officially over and Fall is in the air so brace yourself!
Pumpkin Spice Season is upon us, based upon all the ads I've seen on TV when my people have the set on.
There's always at least one commercial every break for Pumpkin Spice This and Pumpkin Spice That.
But do you really need stuff like Pumpkin Spice Soap On A Rope or Pumpkin Spice Unleaded Gasoline???🙀
After all, Pumpkin was never a member of the Spice Girls.
In any event, guess what the theme for today's jokes is. Ready?

When you slip on a pumpkin, does it catch you off gourd?

What is Pumpkin Spice's favorite sport?
It's Pumpkin Pi!😼
Squash.

What’s black, white, orange, and waddles?
A penguin carrying pumpkin spice.🐧

Is a pumpkin's favorite movie Pulp Fiction?

What did the Pumpkin Spice say to the Green Pepper?
"You look a little sick."

Do love sick pumpkins enjoy a mushy romance?

What happens to a pumpkin's record collection after they get spiced?
Is there even a market for vine-yl albums any more?

How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?
Apply the pumpkin patch.

What happens when you have too much pumpkin spice?
You’ll get autumn’y ache.
Although there are some people who claim there is no such thing as too much pumpkin spice.
In any event...
Orange you pumped up for Autumn?
But (un)fortunately nothing lasts forever.
Soon the era of Pumpkin🎃 will fall and the North winds will herald the cold season ahead and whisper “Peppermint everything!”
MINTER is coming!
So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.
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Saturday, September 23, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: SEPTEMBER 17-23,2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 


ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

SEPTEMBER IS DEAF AWARENESS MONTH.
SEPTEMBER 15-OCTOBER 15 IS HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
SEPTEMBER 23 IS THE SEASONAL SWITCH. See below for more details.
SEPTEMBER 24 IS HERITAGE DAY IN SOUTH AFRICA AND
INDEPENDENCE DAY FOR GUINEA-BISSAU.
SEPTEMBER 24-25 IS YOM KIPPUR, FOR THOSE OBSERVING.
SEPTEMBER 24-30 IS BANNED BOOK WEEK.
SEPTEMBER 25 IS ONE HIT WONDERS DAY.
SEPTEMBER 27 IS GOOGLE’S 25TH ANNIVERSARY.
OCTOBER 1 HAS MULTIPLE MILESTONES. IT’S UNIFICATION DAY IN CAMEROON. INTERNATIONAL COFFEE DAY AS WELL AS
INDEPENDENCE DAY FOR NIGERIA AND TUVALU.
OCTOBER 3 IS WORLD ARCHITECTURE DAY.
ANYTHING THAT DEBUTED IN 1968, LIKE THE ORIGINAL HAWAII 5-0,
IS 55 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The COVID state of the world, as of September 23, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of September 23, 2023.
*September 23 is the Seasonal Switch. Autumn begins for the Northern Hemisphere while Spring starts for the Southern.

*Crimea is still a battle zone as Russian strikes continue while President Zelensky visited the US, before stopping in Canada. Afterward, a brief stop in Poland before returning home. (There are 6/SIX separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

🌟SPACE POSTS

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Singer Katherine Anderson of The Marvelettes (♫Please Mister Postman♫, ♫Beechwood 4-5789♫, much more) is no longer with us.
*Singer Roger Whittaker (♫The Last Farewell♫, ♫Durham Town♫, much more) has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player Hubert Ginn (multiple teams over a long career) is no longer with us.
*Former Olympic medalist🏅 and professional hockey🏒 player Henry Boucha has passed away.
*Cartoonist Joe Matt (Peepshow) is no longer with us.
*Singer-songwriter Mike Henderson (several hits in a 42 year career) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
ARE YOU AWARE OF THE KRAFT CHEESE RECALL???
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
THE PAPERS CAPER…
POLITICALLY…
⚖THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*The Supreme Court is in recess until the first Monday of October 2023, but the Justices are going over the pending fall docket.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…

😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
✅IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
ELSEWHERE…
*As the strike expands, why the United Auto Workers are on strike. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
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THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 23, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
The single group with the largest population statistics is Lego mini-figures, counting all the licensed characters as well as the company owned designs.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question except there are only two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE or FALSE: Eggcorn is edible.

QUOTE THIS
A famous quote is below. All you have to do is name the speaker and the source. Ready?
“A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head-on and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away.”

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 16, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Physical Education, Athletics} = More formal names for Gym class in school.
02. {Social Studies, Health} = Two school science classes.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
We’re looking for two words, one an anagram of the other. Ready?
What do you have to be to hear someone?
SILENT to LISTEN.
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Sunday, September 17, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CANINE COMEDY

 Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!
Now, if you've ever paid attention to your dog(s), and if you haven't: shame on you!
But for those of you who do pay attention to us canines, you've noticed that we smile on a regular basis.
When you come into a room.
When you pet us.
When you feed us.
When you take us for walkies.
When you're not home and we can safely get away with things you'll never know about...
OOPS! Wasn't supposed to mention that one.

Anyway, the point is don't you wonder what we are smiling about besides you, food, and other stuff?
Well, us dogs have a great sense of humor, and I'm about to share some of that with you right now. Ready?

What would you call a fake dog?
A sham poodle.
But why would you want a fake when you can have the real thing?

Which kind of dog lives in Dracula’s castle?
These jokes are doggone funny. 😉
A bloodhound.

What do you call a dog magician?
A Labra-cadabra-dor.

How many hairs are in a dog’s tail?
None! The hair grows on the outside.

What do you call a dog who's puppies have had puppies?
Grand PAW.

What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?
All kinds — buildings can’t jump!

What do dogs do when they need to take a bathroom break during a movie?
They press the paws button.

What do dogs like to eat at the movie theaters?
Pupcorn.

Where do dogs park their cars?
In the barking lot.

What did the waiter tell the dog at the restaurant?
“Bone-appetite!”

What kind of place should you never take a dog?
The flea market.

Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
Because dogs love bones.
Of course we bury them for later use, provided we can remember where we hid them to begin with. 😉

So on that note♫, have a great week!
Take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Love your dog because we love you, and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—KC.
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Saturday, September 16, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: SEPTEMBER 10-16, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS


BE WARY OF
TROPICAL STORMS LEE
AND MARGOT!



WE NEED MORE
GUN RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

SEPTEMBER IS DEAF AWARENESS MONTH.
SEPTEMBER 15-OCTOBER 15 IS HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
SEPTEMBER 17 IS CONSTITUTION DAY IN THE UNITED STATES.
SEPTEMBER 17 MARKS THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE ORIGINAL BATTLESTAR: GALACTICA.
SEPTEMBER 18 IS BOTH WORLD BAMBOO DAY & CHEESEBURGER DAY.
SEPTEMBER 19 IS INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY.
SEPTEMBER 20 IS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES BETWEEN BOBBY RIGG AND BILLIE JEAN KING.
See our And Finally, Some Good News section below for more details.
SEPTEMBER 21 IS THE INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PEACE.
SEPTEMBER 24 IS HERITAGE DAY IN SOUTH AFRICA.
ANYTHING THAT DEBUTED IN 1963, LIKE THE OUTER LIMITS,
IS 60 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The conclusion of the latest G20 Summit. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*North Korea and Russia held a private meeting. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of September 16, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of September 16, 2023.

*A look at the Ukraine’s current naval successes. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

🌟SPACE POSTS

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.
*Long time radio/TV personality Dick Bertel has passed away.
*Music DJ/consultant/promoter/adviser Ed Wright is no longer with us.
*Long time TV personality Benito Castro has passed away.
*Actress Jean Boht (Bread, Last of the Summer Wine, much more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Joy Chambers (Neighbours, The Restless Years, much more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Michael McGrath (the Broadway versions of Tootsie, Spamalot, more) has taken his last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
THE PAPERS CAPER…
POLITICALLY…
*President Biden on the United Auto Workers’ strike. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*September 18 marks the 230th anniversary of then President George Washington laying the cornerstone to what would be the US Capitol.
⚖THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*The Supreme Court is in recess until the first Monday of October 2023, but the Justices are going over the pending fall docket.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Florida Churches are teaching accurate Black American History, despite the state education program doing otherwise.
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
✅IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Why House of Representatives member Marjorie Taylor Greene wants states to start seceding from the Union.
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*New York’s case against Trump has been paused, pending an appeal decision. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Will the Special Council get its requests in the pending Washington trial??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*Amazon will no longer offer magazines to Kindle customers, but selected titles are still available to Kindle Unlimited members.
*Even when the Writers and Actors strikes are settled, will The Tonight Show need a new host??? (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*September 20 is the 50th anniversary of the Battle of the Sexes between tennis🎾 champions Bobby Rigg and Billie Jean King. King won the contest in 3 straight sets at the Houston Astrodome.
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THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 16, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
“Bangers and Mash” is the British term for Sausage with Mashed Potatoes.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Physical Education, Athletics}
02. {Social Studies, Health}

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
We’re looking for two words, one an anagram of the other. Ready?
What do you have to be to hear someone?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 9, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What is it that some of us do at home but most elsewhere, if at all?
Exercise.

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇
What was the first Rock and Roll song to top the Billboard music charts?
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Monday, September 11, 2023

SEPTEMBER 11, 2023

 THE FOLLOWING IS AN EDITORIAL.


Twenty two years ago today, the world witnessed a tragic, cowardly attack upon innocent lives that occurred in the United States of America.

Since then America has grieved, rebuilt, and hopefully moved on the best it could; while those same cowards and others like them have attempted to spread their evil not only here in the United States but across the rest of the globe.


As the world pauses to remember the unnecessary losses, it has become an annual tradition at The Free Choice E-zine to represent a memorial poem by author Nancy A. Hansen.

THEY DID NOT DIE IN VAIN

All humanity sighed
As souls left the earth
Lives taken swiftly
Unjustly so
They died not in vain
For tears and remorse
Wash clean the blood
On the crumpled edifices
Of steel and concrete
That makes civilization grand

But buildings do not define us
Within we are human
Warm and alive
Full of stories
Martyrs they became, oh yes
But so much more
Every last one
A living testament
To faith
In better times...
Hope
Pride
Charity
Accomplishment
And the greatest force on earth
Love

We watched in horror
Over and over again
As the events were replayed
And reactions were given
Stunned looks
Terror in the streets
Angry oaths
Silent sobs
Open weeping
Our brethren were stoic
Or they cried and pleaded
They were dead heroes or victims
But they were all alive
Just moments before
Without any foreknowledge
Of their place in history
Etched on our minds
Engraved on our hearts
For eternity

I wept with them
The ones who died
The living left behind
The shattered hopes and dreams
Like the rubble in the streets
Made us all stop and think
That could be me!
I watched stunned
And vowed as did others
We will overcome this
We are one people
We are humane and caring
This cannot be!
September 11, 2001

Who dares challenge that right?
To live free and open lives
To send fear into our hearts
And sorrow of the most profound
For after all is said and done
Nevermore will we trust
With the heart of innocents
That we are safe and protected
In this womb of our building
In this fortress of our sovereignty

Will the swords of justice
Smite down the aggressors
And bring us peace and redress?
Or just a sense of revenge
I do not know
But I do know this
They died not in vain
Who gave their lives for freedom
And to help their fellow man
For as the tragedy struck
And lives hung in the balance
Or were snuffed out
I saw birds rise from the buildings
Sun on their wings
Angels of nature
Reminding me that there is a better place
Where there is no grief or pain
And no thoughts of war
May they live there forever
Those poor wretched souls
Till we join them again

And amid all the rubble
The twisted beams of steel and concrete
The dust and the fires
September 11, 2015
Papers fluttered to earth
A poignant reminder
We once lived and worked here
Do not forget us
We live on in your hearts
Forevermore
We did not die in vain
If the world becomes a better place
Because we once showed you
How to care about your brethren
And to value all you have
No matter how small it is
Or how rude and humble
Life is a gift!


THE ABOVE WAS AN EDITORIAL.
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Sunday, September 10, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: BACK TO SCHOOL 2023

Piper D. Katt
Hello Everybody! 
Koda Canine

Today you have BOTH Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine here as we present our annual Back To School salute!

That's right Piper. While most schools have already been back in session since sometime in late August, we here at The Free Choice E-zine are traditionalists in the fact that schools used to never start their new year until the Tuesday after Labor Day.

But whenever we book this event, it always means there are some fun filled School themed jokes for our readers. Ready?

There is a thin line between numerator and denominator.
I bet only a fraction of our audience gets this. 😼

What school do you have to drop out of in order to graduate?
Sky Diving School!🪂

We learn from history that we do not, in fact, learn from history.
Those who don’t learn from history, are destined to repeat it.
Those who learn from history must suffer through watching others repeat it.

You know what is odd to me?
All numbers not divisible by two. 

What did the mother buffalo🐃 say to her son as he left for school?
Bison.

What are a snake's🐍 favorite school subjects?
All snakes like Hissstory, SSScience, and SSSocial SSStudiesss; but Adders also like Math.

The college professor noticed one of his tests came back with a $100 bill attached and a note saying he could keep one dollar for every point earned.
The professor sent the test back to the student with $64 change.

How come, whenever the teacher springs a pop quiz on the class, there's no actual soda involved?

Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Because it was always sweeping during class!

Why do magicians do so well in school?
Because they’re good at trick questions.

Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Because she had bright students!😎

"Does anyone know when King John signed the Magna Carta?" asked the teacher.
"1215," answered a student.
Another student looked up at the wall clock🕐 and said, "Wow! That was just a half hour ago!"

A Science teacher was introducing her elementary class to the planets in our solar system. "And there is still ongoing talks as to whether or not Pluto is actually a planet."
"I thought it was a cartoon dog," replied one student.

What did the skunk🦨 say to his parents when he needed help with his homework?
"This doesn't make any scents to me."

WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.
An education isn't just a privilege, but a right. There are students longing for the chance to learn while those in power try to dictate who can go to school, let alone what the teachers are allowed to say.
Don't throw away your right to an education.
GO LEARN SOMETHING TODAY!--PDK and KC.

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.
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