Thursday, April 30, 2009


Wednesday, on the night of his 100th day in office, President Barack Obama held a press conference to address current events and field questions from reporters.
Amongst the topics discussed:
*He does not see the necessity to close American borders because of the recent outbreak of Swine Flu, since this would be an after the fact action. But the country is prepared to deal with the situation.
*The auto industry, and other economic matters are being addressed.
*Congress has passed the 2009-2010 National budget, and is prepared to go on to other matters.

Sunday, April 26, 2009


Would you believe that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles recently celebrated their 25th anniversary?
Those "Heroes In A Half-Shell", which have given some people a different reference to the names of Renaissance artists Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and Leonardo; first debuted in comic book form with issue one, dated May 1984.
Since then, the heroes, their master/sensei/adopted father Splinter, various friends/allies, and enemies have gone on to movies, syndicated animation series, and toy lines, while maintaining the comic book series originated by Kevin Eastman (who is now currently overseeing the Heavy Metal magazine and related properties) and Peter Laird, who still oversees the Turtles from their home base of Mirage Studios.

When asked if she had any appropriate jokes on the subject, our resident comedienne Ms. Waxy Dragon (one amongst many avatars of an avid Internet surfer), presented me with these:

Why did the turtle cross the road?
I don't know. It still hasn't reached the other side yet!

What do you call a turtle that flies?
A shell-a-copter.

What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slowpoke.

Is it true turtles have shell-ular phones?

A bruised and battered turtle crawls into a police station. He says to the cop: "A gang of snails just beat me up!"
The cop says: "Did you get a good look at them?"
The turtle says: "Well, no, it all happened so fast!"

When last seen, Ms. Waxy Dragon was flying off, flapping her wings as fast as dragonly possible, trying to escape pursuit from four mutant ninja you-know-whats.
But hopefully she will be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!

Saturday, April 25, 2009


As Spring slowly begins to usher in warm weather across the country, let's turn on the radio and have some fun with music...

In a classic episode of The Andy Griffith Show, Barney Fife (as portrayed by Don Knotts), who cannot sing a note properly, winds up joining the Mayberry Town Choir just in time to be first tenor for an upcoming competition.
By what number was the song the group kept trying to perform referred to as?

A new puzzle feature for your solving enjoyment!
Below is an often misquoted song lyric.
Your task is to know the correct line and what song it is from.

There's been owls hooting in my head

The answers will appear next weekend, but for now, the color coded results of our Word Searching Quest from April 18th in honor of the Dungeons and Dragons 35th anniversary.


Crown, Dragons, Dungeons, Elf, Knight, Magic, Quests, Ring (starting diagonally from the R in Crown), Sword, Wizard (starting diagonally from the W next to the C in Crown)
And the one thing you always need to play: ADVENTURERS! (the uncolored letters, in order)


*Today was International Tai-Chi Day.
*On Monday, Democratic President Barack Obama completed his first 100 days in office. While he does have his critics (mostly Republicans), at least his administration is attempting to keep his campaign promises and address the issues facing this country.
*Health officials are concerned about an outbreak of Swine Flu in Mexico that could reach pandemic proportions, with two known cases of tourists back in the United States.
*The Conflicker virus is reported as active, as affected computers are becoming spam generators and possibly spreading the malware on to other systems. But as long as your anti-virus software updates itself and/or you can update your systems manually, your computer is not affected. Officials are still trying to track the creators of this program and come up with new anti-virus programs to combat Conflicker.
*After briefly checking himself into a local hospital as a precaution, Jay Leno will be back hosting The Tonight Show Monday.
*And Actress Bea Arthur (Maude, The Golden Girls) passed away today.
For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS... feature at the bottom of the screen.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Today, we celebrate the place everyone calls home: our planet Earth.
While a lot of advertising, news coverage, and public relations efforts will be concentrated upon reducing our carbon footprints, recycling, and other ways we can GO GREEN in order to help preserve and maintain our environment,
REMEMBER THIS: while today might be the date arbitrarily picked for Earth to be honored; the efforts to maintain and improve our environment should be made EVERY DAY!
For if anything should happen to this planet...

Sunday, April 19, 2009


Two comic strips have celebrated major anniversaries this past week.
So to honor the rules of chivalry, ladies first...

Rose Is Rose has always featured the (mis)adventures and antics of the extended Gumbo family.
While Jim(bo) and Rose (the title character) have only one child, Pasquale; there is the selfish nephew Clem; assorted neighbors, including a young girl named Mimi; Rose's mother, and issues with the family cat Peekaboo, assorted squirrels, raccoons, and Peekaboo's friends.
Adventures range from the mundane, like Jim's "garbage moments" and other household chores, to the fantasies of Rose's biker alter ego.
Although the Gumbos are far from the first family to have their trials and tribulations, there is no doubt that they love each other, as seen in romantic moments throughout the course of the series thus far.
Creator Pat Brady has written every strip since the first. Don Wimmer has produced the art since 2004.

Meanwhile, Dilbert looks at the more "professional" side of life at a business that, in light of current economic circumstances, makes one wonder how the pointy haired boss and his upper executive cronies have managed to avoid legal prosecution for so long.
Started on April 16th, 1989 by creator/writer/artist Scott Adams (but not the one who created original role playing game software in the infancy of the computer age), the strip first focused upon just Dilbert, his dog Dogbert, and the wackiness of his private/single life.
But in time Adams discovered more humor at the workplace between Dilbert; the coffee guzzling lazy slacker Wally; the hard working yet frustrated Alice; the eternally overburdened intern Asok; and a slew of inept management personnel, led by the infamous but never formally named "pointy haired" boss.
Although Adams has unfortunately suffered some health problems in the past decade, he continues to produce the comic strip without any assistants.

While our resident comedienne Ms. Waxy Dragon (one of many avatars of an avid Internet user) was crowded out of this weekend's post, we both would like to remind you that August 2nd is the first (Inter)National "Don't Worry" Day, and to be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.

Saturday, April 18, 2009


Fantasy fans rejoiced at the creation of the Dungeons and Dragons role playing game became available 35 years ago this week.
Those that grew up on such swashbuckling tales from Gardner Fox's Kothar to Robert E. Howard's various creations, and even the epic work of J. R. R. Tolkien at one time or another let their imagination roamed and thought about vanquishing dragons, rescuing the fair damsels in distress, and covering themselves in glory and valor.
Created by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson and currently published/distributed by Wizards of the Coast, depending upon who is in charge of any given session (the dungeon/game master), various expansion packs, hand books, modules, and other accessories; along with dice to add a true possibility of chance into the game play, have entertained fantasy and game fans since 1974; and perhaps even contributed to other media such as the Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy, and other video games.

In honor of D & D's 35th, this week's Puzzle Corner is themed to the fantasy fan in all of us.

Here's something special. Although I unfortunately cannot produce an interactive grid, within the Dungeon below are hidden some D & D related terms.
Plus, the left over letters after all the words have been found spell out something very vital for any role playing game.
Do you dare undertake this quest?


Crown, Dungeons, Dragons, Elf, Knight, Magic, Quests, Ring, Sword, Wizard

NOTE: Because of computer formatting, all the lines to not come out properly spaced, but the grid is eight letters across by seven letters down, and every word on the list above is in there.

The answers will appear next weekend, just like the results of April 11th "magically" appear now.

The license plate V-194 could be found on The Black Beauty in any episode of the 1960s Green Hornet Television series.

The following words can be made out of the letters in the phrase HAPPY EASTER, with plural(s) noted: A, Ah, Ape(s), Appear(s), As, At, Ate, Aye(s), East, Easter, Ear(s), Eat(s), Eatery, Ether, Happy, He, Heat(s), Paper(s), Pay(s), Pear(s), Peep(s), Peer(s), Pest, Pester, Rap(s), Rest, Sap, Sappy, Say, Sea, Seat, Set, She, Step, Steep, Strap, Stray, Tea(s), Tear(s), Tee(s), Trap(s), Tray(s), Tree(s), Try, Yea(s), Yeah(s), Year(s), Yeast, and Yes.
Other words than the 70 might be possible, for I know of two that did not make my list or else it would have violated the rules of good taste.


A very busy week in the news. With some of the highlights being:
*United States Navy Seals rescued Captain Richard Phillips from Somalian Pirates, who now vow revenge against the U.S.
*The 2009 Tax season has come and gone for most Americans, although some protested this decades long tradition at their state capitals. But while a lot of the protesters were Republicans who kept pointing to the current national deficit and "wasted funds", most did not mention that the majority of that debt occurred under the Republican Presidency of George W. Bush.
*Meanwhile President Barack Obama took a foreign diplomatic trip to Mexico, but the biggest White House news seemed to be the arrival of Bo, the Obama family's new six month old Portuguese Water Dog.
*In Sports, Angel Cabrera bested Kenny Perry and Chad Campbell in a playoff to win the U.S. Masters golf tournament while long time football announcer John Madden has decided to retire.
*This past week saw the passing of former Major League Baseball pitcher Mark "The Bird" Fldrych, actress Marilyn Chambers, and long time Philadelphia Phillie's' announcer Harry Kales.
*Some this past week also celebrated the 35th anniversary of the Dungeons and Dragons role playing game (more in this week's Puzzle Corner), while tomorrow's Sunday Funnies feature will go into more detail on the 25th anniversary of the Rose Is Rose comic strip and the 20th anniversary of Dilbert.
For more news at any time, scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS... feature at the bottom of the screen.

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Happy Easter everybody!

Our resident comedienne Ms. Waxy Dragon, and the person behind that Internet avatar, has the weekend off to celebrate the holiday with their family, so it's up to me to entertain you for a few paragraphs.
So since I do not know any Easter Bunny jokes, and I'm not about to make any religious based jokes, I thought I would dip into our vast archives once again and relate some classic Burma Shave poems!

For those either too young to remember or not that up on classic cultural references, Burma Shave signs could be found along the byways of the land up K to the early 1960s, when faster express routes started making such advertising obsolete.
Presented in groups of five, each set of signs featured four line poems of comedic verse, usually advertising the product line, alternating with serious driving safety tips. But the last line/sign of every message was the Burma Shave logo itself.

Examples of this classic poetry are:

At School Zone's B
Heed instructions
Help to save
Our tax deductions

If Wifie shuns
Your fond embrace
Don't hate the messenger
Feel your face!

Dinah didn't
Treat him right
But if he shaved

He tried to cross t
As the fast train neared u
Death didn't draft him
He volunteered

We'll be back next weekend with our regularly scheduled Sunday Funnies.
And don't forget: August 2nd is the first annual (Inter)National "Don't Worry" Day!

Saturday, April 11, 2009


Okay, let's dive into our Easter basket for some puzzle fun!

What famous vehicle had the license plate V-194?

Considering the religious signifigance of tomorrow for a lot of people, how many words can you make out of the holiday phrase:


The answers will appear next weekend. But for now, here are the answers to last weekend's puzzles.

Although just a Princess when she met Harry S. Truman, Queen Elizabeth II of England has met every United States President since except for Lyndon Baines Johnson, although she later did meet with Lady Bird Johnson after the former President left office.

Out of the letters in the phrase FOREIGN SUMMIT, I found the following words, with plurals noted:
Emit(s), Fig(s), Figure(s), Fine(s), Finer, Finest, Fin(s), Fire(s), First, Fist, Font(s), For, Fore, Foreign, Forge(s) Form(s), Forum(s), Four, From, Front(s), Frost, Fun, Gent(s), Get(s), Gin, Grime, Gun(s), Gust, Gut(s), I, If(s), In, Intro(s), In, Is, Its, It's, Memo(s), Men, Mentor(s), Mime(s), Minor(s), Mint(s), Minute(s), Mire(s), Miser, Mist, Mister, Mite(s), More, Nitro, No, Nog, Nor, Not, Note(s), On, One, Or, Ore, Rest, Rig(s), Ring(s), Rise, Risen, Run(s), Rune(s), Rot(s), Rust, Senior, Set, Sing, Sir, Sire, Sit, Smog, So, Some, Son, Song, Snore, Stem, Strong, Stun, Summit, Sun, Sung, Time(s), Timing, 'Tis, Ton(s), Trust, Tune(s), and Tuner(s).

And of course, more words might be possible than the 127 listed above.


*President Barack Obama concluded his first foreign tour with a surprise visits to US troops in Iraq before returning to America. As the end of his first 100 days in office rapidly approach, budget issues, domestic policies, and the mandatory State of the Union address await him.
*Somalia pirates operating in international waters has received more attention of late when Captain Richard Phillips surrendered himself in exchange for the safety of his crew. An initial rescue effort by US Naval forces proved unsuccessful, but the pirates are under close scrutiny.
*This week marked the 75th anniversary of the original edition of Cleopatra with Claudette Colbert and the 50th anniversary of Pillow Talk with Rock Hudson and Doris Day.
*Looking ahead, April 13th marks the 35th anniversary of the Dungeons and Dragons role playing game, while April 16th is the 25th anniversary of the comic strip Rose Is Rose.
*Meanwhile, if you have not done so already, the filing deadline for your 2008 state and federal income taxes is this Wednesday, April 15th.
*In Sports: the North Carolina University Tar Heels won the NCAA Men's College Basketball championship while the University of Connecticut Lady Huskies took the Women's title as the topper to a perfect 39-0 season, counting post season play.
*And while Baseball fans celebrated the start of the 2009 regular season this week, the California Angels mourn the loss of pitcher Nick Adenhart and two other passengers to a hit and run driver.
For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of the screen.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Those wishing to donate to relief efforts for helping the victims of recent Italian earthquakes take heed that there has been at least one confirmed report of a scam to divert funds from those in need to private pockets.
Anyone wishing to contribute to this or any worthy cause are always advised to confirm the authenticity of the organization you are donating to and that the money will go to its intended destination.


Congratulations go out to the North Carolina University Tar Heels, the 2009 NCAA Men's College Basketball Champions.

Yet SPECIAL CONGRATULATIONS must be acknowledged to the University of Connecticut Women's Basketball team for not only becoming the 2009 NCAA Women's Basketball Champions, but for upholding a perfect season of 39-0 in the process!

Monday, April 6, 2009


While baseball fans everywhere eagerly awaited the start of the 2009 season today, unfortunately with a cold front moving through the northeastern United States, some games were rained or, in the case of the Chicago White Sox home opener, snowed out.
So I guess some pundits will have to wait an extra 24 hours before they can possibly tell the following lame joke.
Do you know why (insert team) cannot sell beer for the rest of the season?
They lost the opener!

Sunday, April 5, 2009


Yesterday, was the 45th anniversary of a musical event that no performing act had ever done before, or since.
America was entering the grip of what was to become known as Beatlemania, as fans everywhere flipped for the collective musical talents of (alphabetically) George Harrison, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr as the Beatles held the Top 5 positions on music charts across the country for the week of April 4th, 1964.
In desending order:
5. She Loves You
4. Twist n' Shout
3. Please, Please Me
2. I Wanna Hold Your Hand, and
1. Can't Buy Me Love were heard everywhere all across the country.
Collectively and individually, these four gentlemen have gone on to make music history, and in this humble commentators opinion, I honestly do not think the world will ever see anything like Beatlemania ever again.

Now as hard as this may seem to believe, our resident comedienne Ms. Waxy Dragon has come up with some appropriate jokes to accompany the above. (lthjr)


Thank you Lee.
Now I do know the joke about being too young to have not heard them first run, but old enough to know that the Beatles were a lot more than just Paul McCartney's first back up band.
But here are some other jokes I think the readers will enjoy.

What is an insect's favorite game? Cricket!

Now everyone has heard stories about the "little old lady from Pasadena". But does anyone know why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
She wanted to rock and roll!

What do you call a beetle from outer space? Bug Rogers!

And finally...
What kind of car did the successful recording artist drive? A Rock-n-Rolls Royce!

See you folks next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!
And don't forget that Sunday August 2nd is the first (Inter)National "Don't Worry!" Day.
Be there or be square!
Until next time...

Saturday, April 4, 2009


Okay, let's get right to the fun with some puzzles inspired by this week's news!

With President Obama in England this week as part of the G-20 summit, Queen Elizabeth the Second has now met 11 out of the last 12 United States Presidents.
The question is: Who did she miss?

List all the words you can make out of the following phrase:


The answers will appear next weekend, just as the results for March 28th are listed below.

While no legitimate words exist in the line as written, taken backwards, you can find:
Who, Wholly, Holly, Holly Hunter, Hun, Hunt, Hunter Green, Green, Green Card(s), Car, and Card(s).

Musician Darryl Dragon is also known as The Captain of The Captain and (Toni) Tenille.


*President Obama is meeting with other world leaders in Europe as part of the G-20 summit. It is the new United States President's first trip abroad while in office, and some say the first time the United States has been shown any respect in the foreign theatre since at least 2001.
*Unfortunately there are more employee layoffs and business closures projected on the horizon as results for the third quarter of 2008 are confirmed and the initial reports for the final quarter of the business year are announced.
*A solution to the Conficker Virus still eludes computer technicians. While the alleged massive activation scheduled for April 1st has not happened (yet?), computer experts around the world are taking the threat of this new virus very seriously; for not only are there confirmed victims world wide whose systems have been exposed to the virus, but that the virus itself is not self contained within any one system. Whoever designed this program has programmed it to lie dormant until it receives instructions from an outside source. But while its function and purpose(s) remain unknown at this time, if you can still access and operate your computer's software and anti-virus update systems, then your computer is clear of the virus at the present time.
*The NCAA College Basketball tournaments are down to their Final Four. By Tuesday morning sports fans will know who the Mens and Womens champions for 2009 are.
*Baseball fans await the start of the 2009 season on Monday. But while preseason games have now been played in the new ballparks for both New York teams, most fans polled say that the National League Mets have the better stadium, which is a surprise to some considering the team spent barely a fraction of what their cross town rival Yankees spent on their new facility.
*The beloved television program Quantum Leap recently celebrated its 20th anniversary. While former star Scott Bakula thanked fans for their past and continued support of the show at a recent convention, he is unsure when or if a proposed Quantum Leap movie will ever be made. Bakula is scheduled to start a three episode guest appearance in Chuck this Monday on NBC.
*And if he was still with us, the 2009 Best Supporting Actor Oscar winner for his role in Batman: The Dark Knight, Heath Ledger would have been 30 years old today.
*For more news at any time, scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of the screen.

Thursday, April 2, 2009


So now, allegedly all that is left from April Fool's Day 2009 is cleaning up the messes and trying to make amends to those offended.

Our little "prank", when posted and read properly, said:

Today is April 1, 2009; the day where a lot of people try to pull jokes,
"practical" and otherwise, at the expense of others.
Even some otherwise serious news sources get into the act by running fake
announcements and other material amongst legitimate items, like the BBC's Spaghetti Tree report
in 1957.
So to get into the originally intended spirit of the day, The Free
e-zine thought it would do something safe, but harmless, by posting
a message only DC Comic's Zatanna the Magician could read at first
So enjoy the day and try not to get fooled!

The referenced Spaghetti Tree report was the BBC's first attempt at humour during a serious news broadcast. Since spaghetti was a relatively new food item in England at the time, many viewers were caught unawares by the report and seriously thought spaghetti did grow on trees!
In more recent years, the BBC has gone out of its way (in part thanks to advances in technology) to top itself, while still maintaining the network's charm and innocence, as represented by their 2008 report about the discovery of a new breed of penguin that actually flew to a warmer climate for the winter!

Other notable pranks of the day included:
* posting an article explaining rechargeable gum.
*BMW allegedly introducing a magnetic towing system.
*Fans of U2 rushing to a shopping center in Cork, Ireland expecting to hear a free concert from the band, when it turned out to be a live/free performance by the cover band U2opia.
*Former Drew Carey costar Kathy Kinney appearing on the April 1st episode of The Price Is Right.
*You Tube presented their website upside down yesterday. And...
*A J. R. R. Tolkien website reported that the forthcoming Hobbit movie was going to be filmed as a trilogy just like The Lord of the Ring was.


Computer specialists are still worried that the Conflicker.C virus might still be a legitimate threat, despite it not honoring its alleged activation date April 1st.
Unlike other viruses of the past, the problem with this one is that it is not self-contained with an infected system, making it harder for anti-virus scanners to detect. It lies dormant until activated by an outside source to perform its function(s), whatever they may be.
Some website have been discovered that were prepared to launch whatever command instructions the designer(s) of this virus had planned, but it is uncertain how many activation websites remain. Thus striking the theory that it was all just an elaborate April Fools Day prank. Computer specialists do say that if your computer can access your antivirus program's update system and your operating system's update website, then you are (probably) safe.

More on this story as it develops.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


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