Sunday, August 27, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THIS AND THAT (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

It is a BEAUTIFUL Sunday where I'm at right now and the only thing I truly feel like doing at the moment is taking a cat nap but if I do, then you folks won't have any jokes to laugh at.
So what do you say to me entertaining everybody for a few minutes before curling up in one of my favorite sunny spots for awhile. Ready?

What is the best way to stay out of hot water when brewing a pun?
Use subtle tea.

Saw an interesting ad in the local newspaper when my people were using it to line my litter pan.
For Sale: Parachute.🪂 Used only once. Never opened.

Why did the man complain about his old camera after taking pictures of wheat fields?
All his photographs came out grainy.

On a recent flight the pilot was feeling cold so he turned off the overhead fan.
He couldn't understand why everyone else on the helicopter🚁 started screaming.

When you cut an onion🧅, why do the people cry when it's the vegetable that gets hurt?

If a dog🐕 owned a computer💻, which one would have the worse byte?

What do you call a cow🐄 that doesn't jump over the moon🌕?
Normal.

The difference between fishing🎣 and just standing around doing nothing is what you actually caught.

😼I thought I'd try to help my people with their diets by eating their leftovers before they do.
Why they kept screaming at me to get off the table during dinner is beyond me.

So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week.
Koda Canine and I both have the upcoming Labor Day weekend off so you'll be stuck entertained by our Editor-in-Chief but your regular hosts will both be back the following weekend for our annual Back To School salute on The Sunday Funnies!PDK.

Saturday, August 26, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: AUGUST 20-26, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORGUN
RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

AUGUST IS A BLUE MOON MONTH WITH LUNA FULL🌕 ON THE 1ST & 31ST.
AUGUST 26 IS  WOMEN’S EQUALITY DAY & DOG DAY!
AUGUST 27 IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN MOLDOVA.
AUGUST 27 IS THE 30TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE ADVENTURES OF BRISCOE COUNTY JUNIOR.
AUGUST 28 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON DC & DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JUNIOR’S FAMOUS “I HAVE A DREAM” SPEECH.
AUGUST 29 IS THE 70TH ANNIVERSARY OF
SPEEDY GONZALES’ DEBUT IN CAT-TAILS FOR TWO.
AUGUST 31 IS MALAYSIA’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
SEPTEMBER IS DEAF AWARENESS MONTH.
SEPTEMBER 4 IS LABOR DAY FOR SOME COUNTRIES.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Opinion: What might happen if China collapses. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of August 26, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of August 26, 2023.
*August 30 is the 60th anniversary of the Hot Line being established between the Kremlin and the White House.


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*No one listened before. Will they listen now???

🌟SPACE POSTS
*This is a new feature to collect all the outer space related happenings that were previously posted elsewhere throughout The Week In Review.
*August is a Blue Moon month, with Luna full on both the first and thirty-first.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Singer Ray Hildebrand, aka the Paul of Paul and Paula, has passed away.
*Comic book artist Dan Green (a lot of work for DC and Marvel over a long career) is no longer with us.
*Former professional wrestler Terry Funk has passed away.
*Guitarist Bernie Marsden of White Snake is no longer with us.
*Actress Hersha Paraday (much TV work, including Little House on the Prairie) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Arleen Sorkin (Days of Our Lives, originated the voice of Harley Quinn on Batman: The Animated Series, more) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Bob Barker, long time host of The Price Is Right and Truth or Consequences, has passed away.
*Song writer/producer Bob Feldman (“My Boyfriend’s Back”, “I Want Candy”, more) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*Former President Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the detainees as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FIVE detainees (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
POLITICALLY…
*President Biden visited Maui, but the residents aren’t happy with the help they’ve gotten so far.
*Meanwhile, Trump decided to go solo and talk to Tucker Carlson instead. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: The US will be safe if China collapses, but— (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*August 30 is the 60th anniversary of the Hot Line being established between the White House and the Kremlin.
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*The Supreme Court is in recess until the first Monday of October 2023, but the Justices are going over the pending fall docket.
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Congress is on Summer Vacation until after Labor Day 2023.
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*Georgia set Trump’s bail at $200,000 and warned him anew about his social media comments.
*18 other defendants and Donald Trump were arraigned Thursday, August 26. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*Although the doll now has more Frequent Flyer Miles than her, they have been reunited.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: AUGUST 26, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
Although now a classic Christmas song, Gene Autry’s version of ♫Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer♫🦌 actually debuted on September 1, 1949.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Hawaiian, Sicilian}
02. {Hotel, Detective}

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
Since schools are back in session just about everywhere by now, how many new words can you make out of the letters in TEACHER?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the August 19, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

REBUS
I know we just previously had a Rebus, but this one is special.
Do you know what is represented in the image below?

D D
N N
A A  Cancer
T T
S S
Stand Up 2 Cancer, a charitable foundation raising money for cancer research that just recently had their annual telethon special.

TRIVIA TIME
Jerry Moss, co-founder of A & M Records, recently passed away. Who is/was the A of the record label?
Herb Alpert of the Tijuana Brass.

Sunday, August 20, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY DOG DAY 2023!

 Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!
Yes, I'm sitting on my people's couch right now but it doesn't matter. They're not home at the moment and this coming Saturday, August 26 is DOG DAY! 😀
August 26 is also Women's Equality Day, a very important event that is no joking matter, so I'm just concentrating on the canine comedy.
There's no point in celebrating the day after on the next Sunday Funnies, so let's party with some great Dog facts and jokes. Ready?

Dogs run in circles because it's hard to run in squares.
Now if I ever get to a park, maybe I can prove that theory wrong but moving on...

Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs!
Of course, the best phone users used to be the Dial-mations, but when was the last time a phone actually had a rotary dial?☎

Is a fake dog a sham poodle?


Because of our unique sense of smell, dogs have solved plenty of crimes for you humans, with the greatest among us being Sherlock Bones.🔍
Of course vampires🧛🧛 prefer to have bloodhounds, but anyway...

Dogs love pizza.🍕 Especially pupperoni! 😉
Of course for dessert we want pupcakes.🧁🧁

Would you believe the dog on the right was actually the runt of the litter?

Scientists love Labrador Retrievers, but most people are curious where the name came from.
If you want to see for yourself, find a Labrador and your dog will retrieve it!

Dogs are musically inclined. We'll bark out a tune any time and some are great at playing the trombone.
We know how to properly adjust the subwoofers on your stereo.
Our favorite album may be Bark Side of the Moon but we all love Three Dog Night!

This post is dog gone funny!
Some dogs also like to read and love sinking their teeth into a good book.
There's Vanity Fur and the works of William Shakespaw. Jurassic Bark wasn't bad, but why Godzilla instead of Dogzilla?

How many hairs are in a dog's tail?
NONE! They all grow on the outside of the tail.

⌚Watch dogs are always aware of the time, but please treat them if they have ticks.

Unfortunately most dogs aren't great dancers because we have two left feet, but some dogs are great at sports.
Besides chasing frisbees and playing fetch, some are boxers.
But please don't do the fake throw routine to attempt fooling your beloved pet.
It just confuses them and doesn't put you in a good light.

Anyway, I—
OOPS! My people are back! Time to get off the couch and end my hosting turn for now.
Take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week. Don't forget to celebrate Dog Day this Saturday and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—KC.

Saturday, August 19, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: AUGUST 13-19, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS


 BE PREPARED IF
IN THE PATH OF




WE NEED MORE
GUN RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 


WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

AUGUST IS A BLUE MOON MONTH WITH LUNA FULL🌕 ON THE 1ST & 31ST.
AUGUST 19 IS WORLD HUMANITARIAN DAY & WORLD PHOTOGRAPHY DAY.
AUGUST 20 IS WORLD HONEY BEE 🐝DAY.
AUGUST 23 IS BLACK RIBBON🎗 DAY IN EUROPE.
AUGUST 23 IS THE 90TH ANNIVERSARY OF
COPENHAGEN’S LITTLE MERMAID STATUE.
AUGUST 27 IS THE 30TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE ADVENTURES OF BRISCOE COUNTY JUNIOR.
AUGUST 28 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON DC & DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JUNIOR’S FAMOUS “I HAVE A DREAM” SPEECH.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Spain is now suffering wildfires as British Columbia's and others continue. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of August 19, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of August 19, 2023.
*As the finale of the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup⚽ draws near…


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*Sadly, the Canadian Wildfires continue. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*August 20 is World Honey Bee🐝 Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Jerry Moss, co-founder of A & M Records, is no longer with us.
*Former professional football🏈 player Gary Barnes has passed away.
*Broadway actor Chris Peluso (had roles in Mamma Mia, Wicked, Miss Saigon, and much more) has taken his final curtain call.
*Noted politician/judge James L. Buckley is no longer with us.
*Former Space Shuttle Astronaut Karol J. Bobko has taken his last flight.
*Musician/composer/arranger and record producer Bobby Eli Tatarsky (a decades long career in the music industry) is no longer with us.
*The Pavements founding drummer Gary Young (who also played with other groups) has passed away.
*Actor Ron Cephas Jones (This is UsLuke Cage, Mr. Robot, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional baseball⚾ player Alex Cole is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*Despite having warned him, Trump versus Judge Chutkan continues. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
POLITICALLY…
*What can the US Military do without confirmed replacement commanders??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*The Supreme Court is in recess until the first Monday of October 2023, but the Justices are going over the pending fall docket.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Are Kansas City police officers responsible for a woman’s death??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*A complaint has been filed against the judge in the lawyer retraining case. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Congress is on Summer Vacation until after Labor Day 2023.
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*Despite having warned him, Trump versus Judge Chutkan continues. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: AUGUST 19, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
Dolphins🐬🐬 have no sense of smell.

REBUS
I know we did one last week, but this one is special.
Do you know what is represented in the image below?

D D
N N
A A  Cancer
T T
S S

(Hint: Depending upon your location, the annual telethon is Saturday night, August 18th.)

TRIVIA TIME
Jerry Moss, co-founder of A & M Records, recently passed away. Who is/was the A of the record label?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the August 12, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

RHYME TIME
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?
More problems than you were expecting. = Double Trouble.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?
T M
A U
H S
W T
What goes up must come down.

Sunday, August 13, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: PEOPLE HUMOR

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
You have meow again today, but Koda Canine will be back next weekend to celebrate Dog Day.🐕
Hey, he did two Sunday Funnies in a row so I could host Cat Day😺 and we'll be back on what passes for a "normal" schedule after that.
Come to think of it, what is "normal" around here? 😼
Anyway, it's a lazy but quite enjoyable Sunday afternoon where I'm at, weather wise. So kick back, relax, and enjoy what I dug up joke wise about my favorite feline caretakers: humans. Ready?

Was Levi Strauss a JEANius?

Which way did the computer programmer go? 
He went data way.

Did you hear about the famous chef that is no longer with us?
He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much to honor him, but his legacy will become a pizza history.

Him: “Did you hear that McDonald’s farm was taken over by Artificial Intelligence.”
Her: “AI?”
Him: “AI.”
Her: “Oh....”

Are odors in the military categorized according to rank?

Son: “I like to tell Dad Jokes.”
Daughter: “Does he laugh?”

Do people learn how to make a banana split in sundae school?

Here's a great reason to celebrate.
You've beaten your previous record of consecutive days alive!
CONGRATULATIONS! 😸
So on that note🎵, take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week and please be back next weekend as Koda Canine celebrates Dog Day 🐕 on the Sunday Funnies!PDK.

Saturday, August 12, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: AUGUST 6-12, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORE GUN
RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

AUGUST 12 IS INTERNATIONAL YOUTH DAY.
AUGUST 13 IS THE CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
AUGUST 15 IS INDIA’S INDEPENDENCE DAY & KOREA’S LIBERATION DAY.
AUGUST 19 IS WORLD HUMANITARIAN DAY.
AUGUST 20 IS WORLD HONEY BEE 🐝DAY.
2023 IS THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF RED DWARF.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The World Bank will no longer lend money to Uganda over that country’s new LGBTQ+ policies.
*The COVID state of the world, as of August 12, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of August 12, 2023.
*With its 60th anniversary approaching, how many Doctor Who episodes are still lost???

*What will the Ukraine do with captured Russian weapons??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Some worry that the Ukraine’s counter offensive might be failing. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*The Canadian Wildfires and the smoke/bad air they produce unfortunately continue.
*August 20 is World Honey Bee🐝 Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Movie Director William Friedkin (The French Connection, the original Exorcist, more) has passed away.
*Movie composer and founding member of The Band Robbie Robertson is no longer with us.
*Writer/comedian Johnny Hardwick (King of the Hill) has passed away.
*Singer/songwriter Sixto Rodriguez (♫I’ll Slip Away♫, ♫Sugar Man♫, more) is no longer with us.
*Songwriter Tom Jones (NOT the singer) who wrote the tunes for The Fantasticks, 110 In The Shade and other plays; has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*Trump wants a new judge and his trial moved out of Washington, DC. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Does a memo tell everything??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: It WAS a coup!
POLITICALLY…
*Opinions: Ron DeSantis thinks Donald Trump is finished while other’s think DeSantis doesn’t have a chance of winning the 2024 Republican Presidential nomination. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*The Supreme Court is in recess until the first Monday of October 2023, but the Justices are going over the pending fall docket.
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Congress is on Summer Vacation until after Labor Day 2023.
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*Trump wants a new judge and his latest indictment trial moved out of Washington, DC. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Does a memo reveal everything??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*The 2023 Emmy Awards presentation is postponed to at least January 2024 because of the ongoing Writers and Actors Strike. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…