SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2023

 HELLO EVERYBODY!

Today you have BOTH Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine here as we present our annual Halloween Holiday Hijinks!🎃

Is that right Piper? I thought we were just going to tell Halloween themed jokes together. Nobody told me anything about hijinks.

It's just a figure of speech Koda, but let's get started.

What kind of a witch always feeds you?

A sand-witch.

How do you make a milkshake on Halloween?

Give it a good scare!

Are Jack O'Lanterns 🎃🎃Irish?

I wonder if they're related to Patti O'Furniture?

Where do ghosts👻👻 go on vacation?

Mali-boo.

Did you know mummies are afraid to go on vacation?

They dread unwinding.

Maybe, but I know their favorite music is wrap.

Is being kissed by a vampire🧛 a pain in the neck?

What flowers do monster's grow?

Mara-ghouls.

Did you know that witches refuse to ride their brooms🧹🧹 when angry?

They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Spiders🕷🕷 are great computer💻 users because they love surfing the web!🕸🕸

What are pirates afraid of on Halloween?

The Ghost Guard!

If vampires believe in having pets, then they probably own bloodhounds.

Really? I always thought Owls🦉🦉 would be better for them considering they only work nights.

Moving on...

Everyone always wonders about the chickens🐔🐥, but why did the skeleton💀 NOT cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts to do so.

What plants like Halloween the most?

Bam-Boo!

Why did the police officer👮 ticket the ghost on Halloween?

It didn't have a haunting license!

So on that note𝅘𝅥𝅯, we hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween🎃 Tuesday night.

Take care.

Have a great week and one of us will be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!—PDK and KC.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: OCTOBER 22-28,2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 

WE NEED

MORE GUN

RESPONSIBILITY

NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 

ALTHOUGH W.H.O. HAS ENDED THE IMMEDIATE EMERGENCY,

THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.

PLEASE GET VACCINATED,

WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY

& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS

OR M(ONKEY) POX!

OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS🎗 MONTH.

OCTOBER IS FILIPINO AMERICAN HISTORY MONTH.

OCTOBER 28 IS BOTH WORLD LEMUR DAY & MOTHER IN LAW DAY.

OCTOBER 28 IS ALSO INTERNATIONAL ANIMATION DAY.

OCTOBER 29 IS REPUBLIC DAY IN TURKEY.

OCTOBER 30 IS THE 85TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE (IN)FAMOUS WAR OF THE WORLDS EPISODE OF THE MERCURY THEATRE ON THE AIR.

OCTOBER 30 IS THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF TRU CALLING.

OCTOBER 31 IS HALLOWEEN.🎃

NOVEMBER 4 IS NATIONAL UNITY DAY AND ITALY’S ARMED FORCES DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*Russian President Vladimir Putin addressed Germany October 22.

*Elections were held in Argentina and Switzerland this past week. (There are 2/TWO separate links sin this item.)

*Will Sweden soon be joining NATO???

*The COVID state of the world, as of October 28, 2023.

*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of October 28, 2023.

ON ISRAEL, PALESTINE, HAMAS, HEZBOLLAH AND THE

 GAZA STRIP…

*There are 4/FOUR separate links in the header.

*Action started heating up on the West Bank.

*Hamas released 2 more hostages October 23.

*Why are hospitals not getting the supplies they need???

*The United Nations’ Security Council debated the situation.

*As Israel versus the Hamas continues, Hamas will release more hostages IF— (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)

*Where are they???

*When the United Nations is an apparent target. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE RUSSIA UKRAINE WAR!

*As the war continues…  

*Slovakia plans to switch their assistance to the Ukraine from military to humanitarian.

*How can you have peace talks without both sides present???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…

*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

*From fracking to clean energy!

😢PASSING PARADE…

*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.

*The innocent lives lost during the Middle East conflicts.

*The innocent lives lost in a Maine shooting spree October 25.

*Actor Richard Roundtree (the Shaft franchise, Se7en, much more over a long career) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Former Major League Baseball⚾ pitcher Tom Walker is no longer with us.

*Musician, song writer, singer Gregg Sutton (a decades long career) has passed away.

*Actor Richard Moll (Bull on the original Night Court and the original voice of DC Comics’ animated Two Face; other TV, movie and voice over roles during a decades long career) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Comic book artist Steve Erwin (co-created Checkmate for DC Comics; also drew for Marvel, First, and Malibu Comics) is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME ENDS NEXT WEEKEND!

POLITICALLY…

*TUESDAY NOVEMBER 7 IS ELECTION DAY IN THE UNITED STATES!

*A new low. 

*Are North Carolina’s new voting districts the result of gerrymandering???

*Mike Pence has suspended his Presidential campaign. For now???

*Who is still campaigning???

*The latest from the White House.

*Opinion: A look at one past ballot and the need for better procedures. 

⚖THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…

*A look at the Court’s pending Gun Rights decision.

*The Senate is investigating Justice Clarence Thomas.

STOP THE SENSELESS VIOLENCE!

*The Maine shooter has been found, but...

😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…

*The state of your state.

*Are COVID cases on the rise???

😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…

*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.

✅IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!

*Ron DeSantis did NOT send any military aide to Israel.

*What a colored dot on your tire means.

*A look at hard boiled eggs.🥚🥚

*Are sprouting potatoes edible???

MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…

*A look at the Republicans who were hoping to become Speaker of the House.

*Mike Johnson is the new Speaker, but did Trump control who it would be so he could “own” the House??? (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)

*The new Speaker’s proposed agenda.

*But the new Speaker’s first official act??? Recess.

*Senate Republicans are worried about their House counterparts’ actions.

*One House member’s opinion on voting rights.

*Two Representatives have announced their impending retirement.

*Can Senator Tuberville be negotiated with to get military promotions going again???

*Representative George Santos’ trial is set for September 2024.

*Opinion: Wrong ship.

*Opinion: How to fix Congress.

TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…

*Despite Trump’s hopes otherwise, the lawsuit to determine if he’s eligible to be on Colorado’s 2024 ballot continues. But did he attempt Witness Tampering in that case??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Former Trump attorney Jenna Ellis has also pleaded guilty in Georgia. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)

*Testimony on the true value of Trump’s assets at New York’s civil fraud trial.

*Did Trump violate a pretrial agreement???

*Trump was fined again.

*Will Ivanka Trump testify at her father’s Fraud Trial???

*Speculation: Will Mark Meadows be the next to “flip” against Trump???

ELSEWHERE…

*Did Trump trade secrets for money??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Stellantis and Ford have made tentative deals with the United Autoworkers Union. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*As the Actors Strike continues...

*A look at recent changes to the Las Vegas Strip.

*It’s the National League’s Arizona Diamondbacks versus the American League’s Texas Rangers in the 2023 World Series of Major League Baseball.⚾

😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

*Some canceled debts!

THE PUZZLE CORNER: OCTOBER 28, 2023

 😎FUN FACT

Since 1995, “Archie” is the fastest known snail🐌 in the world.

TRIVIA TIME⌚

What is petrichor?

THE LETTER SHUFFLE

Considering October 31 is almost upon us, how many new words can you make out of the letters in HALLOWEEN?🎃

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the October 21, 2023 Puzzle Corner that celebrated the 50th anniversary of Schoolhouse Rock!

01. When Schoolhouse Rock! first debuted on January 20, 1973; they began with Multiplication Rock!, covering the table from their first presentation: ♫My Hero, Zero♫ to ♫Little Twelve Toes♫. But what two numbers were skipped?

A: Although the principles were explained in other songs, Multiplication Rock! never produced songs honoring the numbers 1 and 10.

02. Multiplication Rock! lessons were quickly joined in the weekly rotation with Grammar Rock! What was the first lesson in that subject?

A: ♫Conjunction Junction♫.

03. What group of lessons was added in 1975 in time for the bicentennial of the United States?

A: America Rock!, teaching United States history and government.

04. What subject started debuting lessons in 1979 amongst the existing topics?

A: Science Rock!

05. Although the shortest subject because of the ever changing technology field, Computer Rock! debuted in 1983 with what two recurring characters?

A: Scooter Computer and Mister Chips.

06. Sadly, the series went off the air for a while starting in 1985, but when it returned in the early 1990s, it gained a mascot to introduce the segments. Who was this character?

A: Schoolhouse Rocky, who was dressed in a modified version of the costume from ♫My Hero, Zero♫.

07. With the series revival, what new subject was introduced amongst the original episodes and new lessons in Grammar Rock!?

A: Money Rock! about financial matters.

08. Sadly, the series went off the air again in 1999 and has only been on DVD (and YouTube) since then. What new subject was covered in a straight to DVD release in 2009?

A: Earth Rock! about earth sciences.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LIVING WITH CATS

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

As many cat people have already discovered, one does not "own" a cat. You have the exclusive privilege of sharing your life with a furry feline. My people share their lovely home with Meow.

Of course, sometimes that leads to some lively... "discussions" of what belongs to who and who has what rights within the household.

I mean, if they ever needed it in an emergency, I'd be more than happy to share my cat litter with my people, provided they clean the litter pan afterwards.

But why they should get upset that I decide to crawl into what just happens to be their bed to take a catnap is beyond me.

The last time they complained about this was 3 in the morning because the human male had his head on MY pillow!🙀

Of course I was tired, so I didn't realize this until I sat down and tried to get comfortable on top of his head but anyway...

Cohabitating isn't always easy, but with the right cat it can be fun! 😼

Sometimes I want to watch television too.

So what if the best place for me to watch it is from the top of the set's screen frame?

Do you think I'd be willing to miss Claw and Order or one of my other shows just for the news or some silly sports program you want to watch?

Who cares about grown men running up and down a grassy field or a wooden court with some kind of a ball?

Granted, whatever a "pigskin" is sounds interesting but otherwise, so what if it's "sudden death overtime"? Afraid all of that is over my furry head and doesn't mean a thing to Meow.

At any meal they tell me to get off the table.

Where else am I supposed to sit?

And your food smells a lot better than mine.

Can't I at least have some fresh fish instead of whatever this canned stuff you serve me is supposed to be?

Sometimes they don't seem to want me around when they're doing their housework.

Why? I just want to lend a paw.

Okay, so the vacuum cleaner scares me no end, but what's with all this clothing that needs to be washed?

I only have the one fur coat and have been wearing it since the day I was born.

Yet the way I see it, you do your best to take care of Meow and I'll do my best to take care of you.

It's a mutual aid, care, and loving relationship between human and feline.

But be warned. Us cats always get our way because we're very Purr-suasive.

And remember, you can't spell hoME OWner without MEOW.😼

So on that note♪ take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

Have a great week and please be back next weekend as I team up with Koda Canine for our annual Halloween Salute🎃 on the Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: OCTOBER 15-21, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 

WE NEED

MORE GUN

RESPONSIBILITY

NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 

ALTHOUGH W.H.O. HAS ENDED THE IMMEDIATE EMERGENCY,

THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.

PLEASE GET VACCINATED,

WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY

& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS

OR M(ONKEY) POX!

OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS 🎗 MONTH.

OCTOBER IS FILIPINO AMERICAN HISTORY MONTH.

OCTOBER 28 IS BOTH WORLD LEMUR DAY & MOTHER IN LAW DAY.

OCTOBER 29 IS REPUBLIC DAY IN TURKEY.

OCTOBER 30 IS THE 85TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE (IN)FAMOUS WAR OF THE WORLDS EPISODE OF THE MERCURY THEATRE ON THE AIR.

OCTOBER 30 IS THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF TRU CALLING.

OCTOBER 31 IS HALLOWEEN.🎃

2023 MARKS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK!

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*Cyprus authorities have arrested 4 suspects for allegedly trying to blow up the Israeli Embassy there.

*North Korea apparently doesn’t like current US Naval deployments.

*Why were Russian vessels near Spain???

*Will European Georgia need a new President???

*Ecuador has a new President.

*A look at Poland’s recent election results.

*A Hong Kong court has confirmed same gender couples have housing rights.

*India’s Supreme Court says the country’s Parliament must decide same gender rights.

*America’s President Joseph Biden made a public address on current global events October 19.

*The COVID state of the world, as of October 21, 2023.

*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of October 21, 2023.

*Has Japan perfected the rail gun???

*Some events unfortunately will not be part of the 2026 Winter Olympics while new activities will be included in the 2028 Summer Olympics. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Quagga Mussels lead to shipwreck discovery.

*The painting is REAL!

*A painting missing since World War 2 has been returned to its rightful owner.

ON ISRAEL, PALESTINE, HAMAS, HEZBOLLAH AND THE GAZA STRIP…

*There are 4/FOUR separate links in the header.

*Fleeing on the brink of the next hostilities. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Has Israel been using White Phosphorus based weapons???

*The World Health Organization is being denied the opportunity to help those in need.

*The Hamas Tunnel System.

*British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and United States President Joseph Biden have both visited Israel this past week. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Gaza misconceptions and the facts.

*Saudi Arabia is advising its citizens to leave Lebanon, due to current conditions.

*Some aid has arrived, but—

*Recycling has become a major necessity along the Gaza Strip.

*Israel vows to keep attacking Gaza.

*Opinion: Is it personal for Israel’s Prime Minister???

THE RUSSIA UKRAINE  WAR!

*As the war continues… 

*Over 600+ days and counting!

*Could the Ukraine be facing more difficulties ahead???

*Vladimir Putin will consider pursuing a diplomatic solution with the Ukraine IF…

*Since the beginning… 

*US missiles and tanks finally arrived for the Ukraine to use. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Next: Kherson.

*But winter is coming.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…

*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

*Can Greenland’s ice sheets be saved???

😢PASSING PARADE…

*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.

*The innocent 6 year old boy killed in Illinois October 14 just because he was Muslim.

*Former Finnish President and past Nobel Peace Prize winner Marti Ahtisaari is no longer with us.

*Actress Joanna Merlin (the original production of Fiddler On The Roof, The 10 Commandments, much more stage, TV and movie work over a 60 year career) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

*Actress turned business woman Suzanne Somers (Three’s Company, Step By Step, She’s The Sheriff, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

*Jazz composer/musician Carla Bley is no longer with us after a decades long career.

*Art Director Osvaldo Desideri (The Last Emperor, Once Upon A Time In America, more) has passed away.

*Music producer/DJ “The 45 King" (aka Mark Howard James) is no longer with us.

*TV and film actor Burt Young (the Rocky franchise, China Town, much more over a six decades career) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Singer/song writer Dwight Twilley (♫I’m On Fire♫, ♫Girls♫, more) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…

THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…

*Former President Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.

*The Biden Administration has reached an agreement with the ACLU over Trump’s immigration actions towards migrant families.

*Why is Texas trying to establish a stronger border with neighboring US State New Mexico???

NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the detainees as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FIVE detainees (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.

CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH

*Trump faces a “limited gag order” in his impending DC trial, which he is trying to appeal. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Yet lying while in office apparently has Presidential immunity.

*The “Bull Horn Lady” got almost 5 years in prison for her participation in the riot.

*The Civil Suit against Trump, as well as the Federal trial, will continue.

POLITICALLY…

*TUESDAY NOVEMBER 7 IS ELECTION DAY IN THE UNITED STATES!

*President Biden briefly visited Israel.

*The White House versus Trump on current events.

*President Biden made a public address on current global events October 19.

*Just because he asked a question Candidate DeSantis couldn't answer…

*Perry Johnson is no longer in contention for the Presidency.

*The latest from the White House.

⚖THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…

*A pending Court case may affect taxes on the rich.

*The Court's current position on Social Media and Censorship. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Opinion: Should Justice Thomas be removed from the Court???

*Opinion: Will Court decisions affect Pennsylvania’s state elections in November???

SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…

*Will events in the Middle East increase hate crimes in America???

*What’s no longer legal to read in Iowa.

*Reading, writing, and math are no longer required skills to graduate high school in Oregon???

*A Mississippi church has decided to no longer support a "Woke" denomination.

😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…

*The state of your state.

*Opinion: The consequences of vaccine disinformation.

😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…

*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.

✅IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!

*Gaza misconceptions and the facts.

*Does the 14th Amendment to the Constitution apply to Presidents???

*Why wine bottles have bottom impressions.

MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…

*Will Jim Jordan be the next Speaker of the House??? Not according to the voting results. He’s lost not twice, but THREE times to date. His fellow Republicans won’t support him any more so now Jordan is backing Patrick McHenry, at least for the interim. (There are 5/FIVE separate links in this item.)

*Yet ex-Speaker Kevin McCarthy hopes Tom Emmer gets the position.

*Who else is still hoping to be the new Speaker of the House???

*A look at internal House politics. 

*Arizona Representative Debbie Lesko has announced her impending retirement.

*Opinion: A coup in the House???

*Opinion: Voters should learn from current events in the House.

*Opinions: Republicans 2024 election chances. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…

*Trump faces a “limited gag order” in his impending DC trial, which he is trying to appeal. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Will Trump serve jail time for violating the New York gag order???

*Yet lying while in office apparently has Presidential immunity.

*At Trump’s New York Fraud Trial… 

*Georgia has gained more evidence in their pending case against Trump.

*Ex-Trump lawyer Sidney Powell pled guilty in Georgia.

*Another Trump lawyer has agreed to help the Georgia Prosecution.

*As the Classified Documents trial continues…

*Trump has to pay a $5,000 fine for complaining about a court employee.

*The Civil Suit against Trump regarding January 6, 2021; as well as the Federal trial, will continue.

*Is spending campaign donations on legal fees legal??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Opinion: How might the plea deals affect Trump in Georgia???

*Opinion: What were they thinking???

ELSEWHERE…

*Two American hostages have been released by the Hamas.

*Alex Jones MUST pay the Sandy Hook families, no matter what.

*Trump supporters severely fined for harassing Biden-Harris 2020 Campaigners.

*Rite Aid has filed for Chapter 11 reorganization bankruptcy protection.

*The Las Vegas Aces have won the 2023 WNBA Championship.🏀

😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

*The painting is REAL!

*A painting missing since World War 2 has been returned to its rightful owner.

*Quagga Mussels lead to shipwreck discovery.

*The toddler and the dolphin. 🐬

THE PUZZLE CORNER: OCTOBER 21, 2023

 😎FUN FACT

2023 marks the 50th anniversary of that animated classic Schoolhouse Rock! So let’s celebrate with a special quiz!

01. When Schoolhouse Rock! first debuted on January 20, 1973; they began with Multiplication Rock!,
covering the table from their first presentation: ♫My Hero, Zero♫ to ♫Little Twelve Toes♫. But what two numbers were skipped?

02. Multiplication Rock! lessons were quickly joined in the weekly rotation with Grammar Rock! What was the first lesson in that subject?

03. What group of lessons was added in 1975 in time for the bicentennial of the United States?

04. What subject started debuting lessons in 1979 amongst the existing topics?

05. Although the shortest subject because of the ever changing technology field, Computer Rock! debuted in 1983 with what two recurring characters?

06. Sadly, the series went off the air for a while starting in 1985, but when it returned in the early 1990s, it gained a mascot to introduce the segments. Who was this character?

07. With the series revival, what new subject was introduced amongst the original episodes and new lessons in Grammar Rock!?

08. Sadly, the series went off the air again in 1999 and has only been on DVD (and YouTube) since then. What new subject was covered in a straight to DVD release in 2009?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the October 14, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME⌚

While the National Park extends between Wyoming, Montana and Idaho; where is the Yellowstone TV series set?

The Dutton Ranch, named after the park, is in Montana.

NUMBER PLEASE

Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.

With what final digit does any calendar decade officially begin?

Zero! 1960s, 1980s, 2000s, 2020s, etc.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DIGGING UP COMEDY

 Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!

Not much to report on my end. Weather hasn't been all that great. More late Fall, early Winter the last few days than the early Autumn the calendar claims it's supposed to be right now, so I've been going through my people's house collecting all the jokes I've been hiding here, there, and everywhere to tell a few to entertain and brighten the moment on this otherwise gloomy day. Ready?

My people's kids love their LEGOS.

Personally, I hate getting those small pieces stuck between my paws but the kids certainly make a fuss when something happens to a kit and they have to start all over rebuilding.

Then again, the toy isn't broken.

It just went back to the original factory setting.

The other night my people had ham for dinner and were talking about how great it was cured.

If the ham was sick to begin with, why did they eat it?

Is a lawyer's favorite pasta Tort-ellini?

Tip for raising boys.

If you keep them busy, you’ll be fine.

If you let them get bored, they will dismantle your house bored by bored.

To make a long story short, become an editor. 😉

I can't express an opinion on camouflage because I just don't see it.

The man trying to steal merchandise from the clock⏰ factory was caught when someone raised an alarm.

For those who like escargot, snails🐌🐌 are not fast food.

I just want to make myself perfectly clear. 

If I could choose a super power, it would be invisibility.

Do you get confused trying to figure out the differences between Elves🧝, Fairies🧚, Sprites and Pixies?

Don't worry. I do too. I just don’t understand the gnomenculture.

Did you hear about the rancher🤠 who didn't like round hay bales?

His cattle🐄🐮 weren't getting a square meal out of them.

What do you and I have in common?

They're both vowels. 😉

So on that note♪, have a great week!

Take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—KC.