Sunday, April 28, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CATTY REMARKS (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon outside the picture window I'm laying against. The sun🌞 is shining. The birds🐦🐦 are singing.
If I'm dreaming, please don't wake me up until it's time for diner.
If Spring is finally showing up, well it's about time!
Either way, it's time for some jokes. Ready?

Did you hear about the new Broadway production?
A hit playwright created a new comedy called "Broken Bones".
It's guaranteed to leave every audience in stitches but still needs a cast.

A seashore may indicate an island, but water isn't land.

Is a Vegetarian a Vegetable Doctor?
Makes you wonder what's on the cop's sign of the sign.
Imagine ordering lettuce to "Turn your head and cough."

Is an unimportant pachyderm irrelephant?🐘

I have no idea why iPhone chargers are not called APPLE JUICE.

Did you hear about the break-in at the Apple store?
Police are looking for an iWITNESS. 

Some people think since I'm a cat, that if laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
WRONG!
I'd come in first and take a nap on that podium while waiting for the other racers to finish! 😸

Some people claim it's wrong to talk to animals.
What am I supposed to do when my fellow animals ask me a question? Ignore them?
Then again, I'm a cat and I'm talking to you right now, and you know how cats hate to be ignored!😼
And don't deny there are some people out there who hate being ignored too.

If you tell everyone you can't afford to go on a vacation this year, do your empty suitcases become emotional baggage?

There are times when I wonder if what people really need is to have a 364 day paid vacation, and then call in sick to work that one day they're supposed to be there before starting their next paid vacation.
Then again, even if you could afford my cat food, would you be too busy on your vacation to open a can for me?

Sometimes when I'm creating these posts I forget how to spell a word, so I change the entire sentence to avoid using that word.
Then again, I know T-H-A-T spells That.

Sometimes when my people have the TV on and are watching the news, I have to wonder if we are now living in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so dumb people won’t be offended.

And remember, if nothing is perfect and your enemy calls you a nothing, then you're perfect!
So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

Saturday, April 27, 2024

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 21-27, 2024: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED MORE GUN
RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

APRIL IS JAZZ🎷 APPRECIATION MONTH & GARLIC🧄 MONTH.
APRIL 27 IS KING'S DAY IN THE NETHERLANDS.
APRIL 27 IS HAIRBALL AWARENESS DAY TO PROMOTE BETTER PET HEALTH.
APRIL 28 IS ARBOR DAY🌳 AND WORLD ASTRONOMY DAY.🔭
MAY IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH.🎗
MAY IS ALSO ASIAN AMERICAN & PACIFIC ISLANDER HERITAGE MONTH.
MAY 1 IS MAY DAY.
MAY 2 IS POLAND’S FLAG DAY.
MAY 3 IS WORLD FREEDOM OF THE PRESS DAY, JAPAN’S CONSTITUTION MEMORIAL DAY AND POLAND’S CONSTITUTION DAY.
MAY 4 IS STAR WARS DAY & FREE COMIC BOOK DAY at participating locations.
MAY 5 IS CINCO DE MAYO, CHILDREN’S DAY IN JAPAN
AND ISRAEL’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
MAY 5 IS THE 530TH ANNIVERSARY OF COLUMBUS DISCOVERING WHAT WE NOW KNOW AS JAMAICA DURING HIS SECOND VOYAGE.
MAY 5 IS THE 120TH ANNIVERSARY OF CY YOUNG PITCHING MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL’S⚾ FIRST PERFECT GAME.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The Columbia Government has officially apologized to those mistreated and/or enslaved during the Amazon Rubber Boom of 1879-1912. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of April 27, 2024.

*There are 5/FIVE separate links in the header above.

*Speculation: Is Russian President Vladimir Putin planning more trouble in Europe??? Maybe Poland??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*April 28 is Arbor Day.🌳

🌌SPACE NEWS…
*April 28 is World Astronomy Day.🔭
*April 30 is the 60th anniversary of Ranger 7 photographing the lunar landscape before crashing.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Soap opera performer/writer Meg Bennett (Search For Tomorrow, The Young and The Restless, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Poet Jerome Rothenberg (a decades long career) has passed away.
*Actor Terry Carter (McCloud, original Battlestar Galactica, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Marla Adams (Splendor In The Grass, The Secret Storm, much more) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Mike Pinder, founding member of the Moody Blues has passed away.
*Illustrator Étienne Delessert (It’s Not Easy Being Green-featuring a dinosaur, Yok-Yok, more) is no longer with us.
*Singer/songwriter Chan Romero (♫Hippy Hippy Shake♫) has passed away.
*Art Director and Production Designer Ray Chan (many Marvel movies, Dungeons and Dragons Honor Among Thieves, more) is no longer with us.
*Professional football🏈 player Korey Cunningham has passed away.
*TikTok celebrity Eva Evans has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*With President Biden’s signature, the Ukraine will soon receive aid from America.
🗹ELECTION 2024…
*One review of current events in Arizona, while the 1864 law may soon be declared invalid. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
ELSEWHERE…
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS...
*May 5 is the 120th anniversary of Cy Young pitching Major League Baseball’s⚾ first perfect game, a 3-0 victory for the Boston Red Sox against the then Philadelphia Athletics.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 27, 2024

 😎FUN FACT
While their 2024 season hasn’t officially started yet, a firefly’s light is the most efficient, using almost 100% of the chemical reaction energy within their bodies to produce light.

FILL IN THE BLANKS
All you have to do is what the title says, literally fill in the blanks to acquire the answer. The given letters are all shown, none of those are missing. Ready?
PERSON: _O_ _Y  _ _ _ _ON.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫Some how, I lost my way. Hoping to see something in your eyes.♫

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the April 20, 2024 Puzzle Corner.

RHYME TIME
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?
🐴Horse Feed? = Mare Fare.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Dolly Parton, Whitney Houston} and yes we know they are both singing actresses.
Both have sang ♫I Will Always Love You♫.
02. {Hawaiian, Sicilian} = Pizza styles.🍕

Sunday, April 21, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HUNGRY FOR SOME JOKES?

Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here, just chilling on the couch on a lazy Sunday afternoon while my people are out and about.
Don't worry. I'll be off this couch in a flash the moment I hear them coming home but I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since I ate the dinner they left me about ten minutes ago.
In the meantime, how about some jokes?

If you're trying to decide what to eat, is that food for thought?

If a Judge asks for something to eat, would that be a court order?

If you serve seafood during a poker game, is it fish and chips?

When you want to relax during a meal, do you have comfort food?

Would you consider missing eggs🥚🥚 stolen or poached?

Do busy people prefer to eat their pizza🍕 in piece and quiet?

If you don't peel the potatoes🥔🥔 for dinner quickly enough, are you a hesitater?

You know your morning coffee is too strong when you're half way to work before realizing you forgot your car.

Has anyone ever computed Pumpkin Pi down to the last digit?
The last crumb, maybe, but still...

OOPS!
Just heard the car pull into the yard so it's time to go folks.

Yes, I stayed off the couch the whole time you were gone.
What do you mean the webcam says otherwise?
That spider is lying!
Oh well...

So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week and please be back next time for more Sunday Funnies!KC.

Saturday, April 20, 2024

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 14-20, 2024: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED MORE
GUN RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

APRIL IS JAZZ APPRECIATION MONTH🎷 & GARLIC🧄 MONTH.
APRIL 22 IS EARTH🌍 DAY.
FOR THOSE OBSERVING, PASSOVER BEGINS AT SUNDOWN APRIL 22.
APRIL 25 IS ANZAC DAY FOR AUSTRALIA & NEW ZEALAND, LIBERATION DAY FOR ITALY AND WORLD PENGUIN DAY.🐧
APRIL 26 IS WORLD INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY DAY.
APRIL 27 IS HAIRBALL AWARENESS DAY TO PROMOTE BETTER PET HEALTH.
APRIL 28 IS ARBOR🌳 DAY AND WORLD ASTRONOMY DAY.🔭

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The COVID state of the world, as of April 20, 2024.

*There are 4/FOUR separate links in the header above.


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*April 22 is Earth🌍 Day.
*April 25 is World Penguin🐧 Day.
*April 28 is Arbor Day.🌳

🌌SPACE NEWS…
*April 28 is World Astronomy Day.🔭

😢PASSING PARADE…
*TikTok star Kyle Marisa Roth is no longer with us.
*Dickey Betts of The Allman Brothers Band has passed away.
*Grammy winning singer Mandisa is no longer with us.
*Former professional baseball player and 2004 World Series winner Dave McCarty has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player and coach Steve Sloan is no longer with us.
*Former professional football🏈 player turned executive Bill Tobin has passed away.
*TV consultant, producer and screen writer Bob Ellison (numerous credits over a long career) is no longer with us.
*Former professional football🏈 player Roman Gabriel has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
🗹ELECTION 2024…
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*The House still wants to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, but even after a distraction, the Senate said “No”. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*The ins and outs of finalizing a jury. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZLE CORNER: APRIL 20, 2024

 😎FUN FACT
It takes 40 gallons of Maple🍁 Tree Sap to make 1 gallon of Maple Syrup.

RHYME TIME
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?
🐴Horse Feed?

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Dolly Parton, Whitney Houston} and yes we know they are both singing actresses.
02. {Hawaiian, Sicilian}

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the April 13, 2024 Puzzle Corner.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
What is the minimum number of pitches in the average Major League Baseball⚾ game?
162. Three Strikes per Out multiplied by three Outs per half inning, multiplied by nine innings and then doubled to account for both teams. Yet 162 would result in a 0-0 shutout tie with no one ever getting on base at the end of regulation play, sending the game into extra innings

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?


Sunday, April 14, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CELEBRITY CITINGS REDUX

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

Our late friend and mentor Autumn the Puppy used to have this routine where she would post actual celebrity comments and then comment upon the comments in a hopefully comedic way.
It hasn't been done since Autumn crossed the Rainbow Bridge🌈, but I'd like to try my paw at it today.

"I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party, and I attended it with my real face." ~~ Franz Kafka (1883-1924)
William Shakespeare said "To thy own self be true," so I have absolutely no idea what Mister Kafka has to be ashamed about.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." ~~Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Just because a lot of beings are doing the same thing doesn't always make it right. After all, unless you're the lead dog on the sled team, the view never changes. 😼

"Of course I talk to myself. I’m a good speaker and I appreciate an intelligent audience." ~~ Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)
If you talk to yourself and are rich, some just consider you eccentric.
If you talk to yourself and are poor, some question your emotional state of mind, but if you talk to yourself while holding a cellphone📱, you can confuse them all.

“I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is look in the obituaries to see if my name is in there. If it is not, I start my day." ~~ George Burns (1896-1996)
The man lived to be 100, so he must have been onto something there.

"But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again." ~~ author C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)
Although in this case he was probably talking about being a parent and reading them to your children, age is just a number and a question of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it don't matter.

“Everybody misspells my name.” ~~ Anony Mouse. 
Anony Mouse is a prolific author and commentator. There is a lot accredited to him(?) or her(?) that no one ever takes the credit for.
Considering some of the things Anony Mouse allegedly says and believes, I can see why.

"Because it is so unbelievable, the truth often escapes being known." ~~ Heraclitus, ancient Greek Philosopher.
"When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." ~~  Sherlock Holmes via author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
"Believe it, or not." ~~ LeRoy Robert Ripley, founder of Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
I think these three go hand in paw. Yet how many out there still believe that the Earth is flat or any of that other silly nonsense?

"ANGRY people want you to see how powerful they are. LOVING people want you to see how powerful you are." ~~ Chief Red Eagle. (1765-1824)
Do you really need a current example of THAT? 😾

So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE! 😷
Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

Saturday, April 13, 2024

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 7-13, 2024: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORE GUN
RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 
WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

APRIL IS JAZZ🎷 MONTH & GARLIC🧄 MONTH.
APRIL 13 IS INTERNATIONAL PLANT🪴 APPRECIATION DAY,
THE PRELUDE TO EARTH🌍 DAY.
APRIL 13 IS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS GAME DEBUT.
FOR THOSE CELEBRATING, APRIL 13 IS ALSO VAISAKHI.
APRIL 14 IS DOLPHIN🐬 DAY.
APRIL 14 IS THE 85TH ANNIVERSARY OF
JOHN STEINBECK’S THE GRAPES OF WRATH.
APRIL 15 IS WORLD ART APPRECIATION DAY.
APRIL 16 IS THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE ROSE IS ROSE COMIC STRIP.
APRIL 16 IS THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE DILBERT COMIC STRIP.
APRIL 22 IS EARTH🌍 DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The COVID state of the world, as of April 13, 2024.

*There are 4/FOUR separate links in the header above.
*Could Israel versus Iran be near??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Even as the Russian airstrikes continue…  (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*On the issue of “Forever Chemicals” in American drinking water. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*April 13 is International Plant🪴 Appreciation Day, the prelude to Earth Day.
*April 14 is Dolphin🐬 Day.
*April 22 is Earth🌍 Day.

🌌SPACE NEWS…

😢PASSING PARADE…
*2013 Nobel Prize winning Theoretical Physicist Peter Higgs of the Higgs-Boson Particle is no longer with us.
*Famed Journalist Robert MacNeil (PBS News Hour) has passed away.
*Artist Trina Robbins (numerous credits over a decades long career) is no longer with us.
*K-Pop singer/songwriter Park Bo-ram has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player Eric Sievers is no longer with us.
*Drummer Keith LeBlanc (Sugar Hill Gang, NIN, more) has passed away.
*Sound engineer Dan Wallin (numerous films over a long career) is no longer with us.
Documentary creator Eleanor Coppola (Heart of Darkness, Paris Can Wait, more) has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player turned actor and accused murderer O. J. Simpson is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
FEDERAL & STATE INCOME TAX FORMS HAVE TO BE FILED BY APRIL 15.
POLITICALLY…
🗹ELECTION 2024…
*Independent Candidate Cornel West has announced his Vice Presidential running mate. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
STOP THE SENSELESS VIOLENCE!
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*House Republican Mike Gallagher has announced his impending resignation, shrinking the Republican lead even further.
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*A look at Defendant Trump’s current financial status. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*The University of Connecticut won the Men’s Division while South Carolina took the Women’s 2024 NCAA College Basketball🏀 championship title. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*The NCIS franchise (Los Angeles, New Orleans, Hawai’i and Sydney included) will be celebrating its 1000th episode April 15th with “A 1000 Yards”. The Hawai'i episode that night is aptly entitled "The Next 1000".