SUNDAY FUNNIES: WINGING IT

 Hello Everybody! The Free Choice E-zine's Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here today because Koda Canine and Piper D. Katt are finishing up the Thanksgiving holiday weekend with their respective families. So for my fill in, guest hosting column today, I'd thought I share some memories of Thanksgivings past.

I can remember watching various parades on television, for the peacock stayed with the one in New York the entire morning while the one with the giant eye bounced around between various parades and other events across the country.

Then there was the possibility of seeing selected episodes of then current Saturday morning cartoons to pass the time before the holiday football game or whatever was scheduled next since they wouldn't show any of my mom's soap operas that day.

Hey, they might have been reruns, but when you're only 7, did that matter?

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey.🦃

Image courtesy of Google.

Thanksgivings really took off when the "Turkeys Away!" episode of WKRP In Cincinnati debuted on November 22, 1978.

"I SWEAR, AS GOD AS MY WITNESS. I THOUGHT TURKEYS COULD FLY. THEY HAVE WINGS."—Gordon Jump as station manager Arthur Carlson.

The network reran that episode every year until they stupidly canceled the series, but I could always find it somewhere in syndication until a couple of years ago when the series dropped out of sight just like a live turkey.

We’ll worry about the Christmas tree later. Today it’s all about the poul-tree.

And then, while it didn't have anything to do with Thanksgiving specifically, there was the glory days of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and their annual all day Turkey Day marathon of B and lower grade movies they previously lambasted.

Oh, those were the days until that show disappeared from broadcast schedules too. "Keep circulating the tapes."

"He's at it again." "At least he's a fan."

"Getting the longer part of the wishbone is a snap."—Thanos.

And of course there is an endless supply of leftovers while your stomach's haunted by poultry-geists for days on end.

"Knock, knock!"

"Who’s there?"

"Arthur."

"Arthur who?"

"Arthur any leftovers?"

PLENTY!

Turkey sandwiches.

Turkey stew.

Turkey soup.

The list went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on...

♪Hey I just met you, and this is gravy.

But here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe.♪

So on that note♪, take care.

STAY SAFE! 😷

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—lh,jr.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 19-25, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 

WE NEED

MORE GUN

RESPONSIBILITY

NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 

ALTHOUGH W.H.O. HAS ENDED THE IMMEDIATE EMERGENCY,

THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.

PLEASE GET VACCINATED,

WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY

& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS

OR M(ONKEY) POX!

NOVEMBER 25 IS INTERNATIONAL ELIMANTE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN DAY.

NOVEMBER 26 IS INDIA’S CONSTITUTION DAY.

NOVEMBER 29 IS ALBANIA’S LIBERATION DAY.

DECEMBER 1 IS WORLD AIDS AWARENESS DAY.

DECEMBER 1 IS ALSO ROMANIA’S GREAT REUNION DAY.

NEWSWEEK IS 90 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*Did North Korea actually launch a spy satellite???

*Javier Milei is the new President of Argentina, but will he end diplomatic relations with China??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Somalia has joined the East African Community.

*Is China experiencing a pneumonia outbreak??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*The COVID state of the world, as of November 25, 2023.

*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of November 25, 2023.

*Google will start deleting inactive accounts next week.

*Australia has won the 2023 Cricket🏏 World Cup.

*At the 2023 ATP Tennis🎾 Finals…

*The Montreal Alouettes won the Grey Cup in Canadian Football.🏈

ON ISRAEL, PALESTINE, HAMAS, HEZBOLLAH

AND THE GAZA STRIP…

*There are 4/FOUR separate links in the header.

*Attempting to save the innocent. 

*There will be a 4/Four day cease fire and impending hostage release.

*The first group of hostages has been released. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE RUSSIA UKRAINE WAR!

*As the war continues…  

*A look at drone warfare. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*As fighting around Avdiivka continues...

THE TERRORIST REPORT…

*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

*The drought dilemma of Mayotte, France.

*What might happen to the Colorado River.

*The excess water from melting polar ice caps is causing the Earth's Axis to shift!

*So who is among the polluters???

🌟SPACE POSTS

*Earth may experience a solar storm Sunday, November 26.

*So how do you reclaim a lost tool bag in outer space???

*The message from outer space.

😢PASSING PARADE…

*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.

*The innocent lives lost during the Middle East conflicts. 

*Mental Health Activist and former First Lady Rosalynn Carter (wife of previous Georgia Governor/U.S. President Jimmy Carter) is no longer with us.

*The innocent lives lost during a dispute in Custer County, Colorado USA November 21.

*The innocent lives lost at the US-Canada border November 22.

*Musician/song writer Abe Stoklasa (worked with Tim McGraw, Chris Lane, other acts) has passed away.

*Voice Actor Peter Spellos (Transformers franchise, many other projects over a long career) is no longer with us.

*Actor Fredrik Ohlsson (Pippi Longstocking franchise, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Actor Joss Ackland (Lethal Weapon 2, The Mighty Ducks, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Former Major League Baseball⚾ player Ron Hodges, who spent his entire career with the New York Mets, has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…

POLITICALLY…

*A new ruling s pending on voting rights.

*Will Wisconsin be redrawing their voting districts???

*The Unemployment figures are still improving.

*Does Florida’s Governor and Republican Presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis have his own army???

*Opinion: Why won’t Republicans listen to the people. 

*Opinion: Are Republicans anti education???

*Opinion: Is this the Republicans’ campaign strategy???

*The latest from the White House. 

ROE V. WADE OVERTURN>AFTERMATH

*Regardless of your position on the matter, does everyone know the biology and medical science involved???

SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…

*Pink gives away books to fight book bans.

*Do health insurance companies actually follow the rules???

*Opinion: Why don’t the elderly have decent health care???

😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…

*The state of your state.

*Who currently insists on mask wearing where.

😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…

*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.

✅IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!

*Trump’s past experience as Commander-In-Chief.

MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…

*As 2023 closes on the House calendar...

*A look at trying to give the Ukraine more aid.

TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…

*Could Trump lose his New York Fraud trial???

*One estimate as to the actual value of Trump’s properties.

*Trump is now suing various media outlets.

*Trump’s legal team wants to know who investigated events leading to January 6, 2021.

*Could one Trump case now be facing a serious delay???

*Opinion: Is Trump getting special treatment in the courts???

ELSEWHERE…

*No sign of terrorism in border tragedy.

*A Republican’s wife has been convicted on 52 counts of voting fraud.

*Rudy Giuliani’s legal problems are growing.

*Google will start deleting inactive accounts next week.

*Trump versus… Jimmy Carter??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Didn’t Trump know the servers don’t eat???

*Snow predictions for this winter.

😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

*December 3 is the 205th anniversary of Illinois joining the United States.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: NOVEMBER 25, 2023

 😎FUN FACT

Being traditionalists, our annual Christmas themed enigmas will not begin until the first weekend of December.

WHO ARE WE?

Similar to WHO AM I, although at least two people are involved.

Can you identify the people (real or fictitious) based upon the clue below?

We wear long tails and ears for hats.

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇

Who was America’s first 5/Five star general?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the November 18, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

REBUS

Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?

 ☮

🌍

Answer: Peace on Earth, something we all hope to see in our lifetime.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE

From the recent holiday, how many new words can you make out of the letters in THANKSGIVING?

Out of the letters in the word THANKSGIVING, you can make the following words:

A, aging, ah, akin, an, angst, as, at,

Gag(s), gain(s), giant(s), gas, gat(s) <old 1930's slang for guns>, gig(s), gin(s), gist, git(s) <Hillbilly slang for scram/get>, giving

Hag(s), haggis <a Scottish delicacy>, hang(s), has, hat(s), having, hi <short form of "hello">, hiking, hint(s), hit(s)

I, ink(s), in(s), inn(s), is, it, its

Kin, king(s), kit(s), knight(s), knit(s)

Nag(s), nigh, night(s)

Sag, saint, sank, sat, saving, shag <a type of carpeting>, sight, sighting, sign, signing, sink, sinking, sin, shin, shining, sit, skin, skit, snag, snit, stag, staging, stain, staining, stank, sting, stinging, stink, stinking

Tag(s), tan(s), tank(s), than, thank(s), thin(s), thing(s), think(s), this, tin,

Vain, vat(s), visit, Viking(s), (AND) vista.

Other words besides the 117 above might be possible. But IV (the medical term) didn’t count because it’s an abbreviation. The Roman numerals II and IV are debatable, but the cuss word for human waste was not listed since this is a family oriented E-zine.

BLACK FRIDAY 2023

 The following is an editorial.

The holiday sales tradition known as "Black Friday", where many retail businesses opened LONG before sunrise the day after Thanksgiving, took a step back over the last few years along with a lot of other things due to the COVID pandemic.

However the practice seems to be making a comeback this year with many retailers advertising early Black Friday sales since Halloween ended.

While not against the SPIRIT of the holiday season, I personally have no idea when, how or why the world has gotten so commercial in recent years with Christmas themed ads starting November 1 and many Free Choice E-zine readers sending emails about radio stations that switched to an all Christmas music themed format as early as Saturday November 18 when in years past no one would play a yuletide tune before the late afternoon of Thanksgiving at the earliest since most stations waited until that Friday morning to begin their holiday programming.

In any event, the promotions are upon us and we are mere hours away from Black Friday, depending upon whose sale you plan to hit before sunrise.

Therefore, The Free Choice E-zine resumes its annual tradition of posting our Ode To Black Friday poem.

SOME DARE BRAVE THE GLOOM OF BLACKEST NIGHT
QUESTING FOR BARGAINS UPON THEIR TREK
HITTING EVERY SALE BEFORE DAYLIGHT

ME? I PLANNED WELL AHEAD
NO NERVES, CREDIT, OR CAR SUFFERED WRECK
JUST RESTFUL SLUMBER WITHIN MY OWN BED.

Wishing you and yours the happiest of the holiday season ahead.

Lee Houston, Junior

Editor-In-Chief, The Free Choice E-zine

24 November, 2023

The above was an editorial.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2023

Funny Feline

Comedic Canine

 Hello Everybody! Today you have both Koda Canine AND Piper D. Katt as we celebrate the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday here in the United States this Thursday, November 23.

That's right Koda. Now, despite how some people portray it, Thanksgiving is a LOT more than just football🏈 games and shopping to kick off the Christmas retail season.

I know. November 23 is also Doctor Who's 60th anniversary!

And the day before is the 60th anniversary of the world sadly losing then U.S. President John F. Kennedy😢 but my point, and I do have one besides those at the end of my ears, is that the holiday is also a time when family and friends get together and pause to express their gratitude for all they have in life.

And we're not talking material things here people!

EXACTLY! Life, health, loved ones... All the "intangibles" that make existence enjoyable.

AND JOKES!

So without further adieu...

If April Showers bring May Flowers, what do May Flowers bring?

Pilgrims, unless you're using one of their moving vans.

Moving on. What do you get when you cross a turkey🦃 with a centipede?

Drumsticks for everyone!

But don't give anything that possibly still has bones to your pets!

Why did the turkey stand on stilts?

Because nobody eat 🦩flamingoes🦩 for Thanksgiving dinner.

How did the peas feel at dinner when they found out everyone preferred the mashed potatoes?

They were green with envy.

Got any cornbread jokes?

I do, but they're really corny.

Well, I can't say you didn't warn me.

What side dish requires a plus-one when invited to dinner?

Mac and cheese.

What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock.

So on that note♪, we hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. Koda and I will both be off next Sunday—

Oh no! That means our Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior will be here trying to tell jokes.

Yeah, but trust me. It's better than his attempts at singing.😼

Anyway, have a great holiday and please be here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!

And we promise one of us WILL be here the weekend after that.—KC and PDK.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 12-18,2023: NEWS HIGHTLIGHTS

 

WE NEED MORE

GUN RESPONSIBILITY

NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 

ALTHOUGH W.H.O. HAS ENDED THE IMMEDIATE EMERGENCY,

THE VIRUSES ARE STILL ONGOING.

PLEASE GET VACCINATED,

WEAR YOUR MASK😷 WHEN NECESSARY

& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS

OR M(ONKEY) POX!

NOVEMBER 18 IS THE 105TH ANNIVERSARY OF

LATVIA DECLARING ITS INDEPENDENCE FROM RUSSIA.

NOVEMBER 18 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF

THE PUSH BUTTON TELEPHONE ENTERING PUBLIC SERVICE.

NOVEMBER 19 IS WORLD TOILET DAY.

NOVEMBER 20 IS WORLD CHILDRENS' DAY.

NOVEMBER 21 IS BANGLADESH'S ARMED FORCES DAY.

SADLY, NOVEMBER 22 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF

THE WORLD LOSING THEN U.S. PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY.

NOVEMBER 22 IS THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE FIRST AND ONLY WKRP IN CINCINNATTI TURKEY DROP. ("TURKEYS AWAY" EPISODE.)

NOVEMBER 23 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF DOCTOR WHO.

NOVEMBER 23 IS ALSO THANKSGIVING IN THE UNITED STATES.

NOVEMBER 24 IS THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000.

NOVEMBER 26 IS INDIA’S CONSTITUTION DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*While the dam is safe (for now) the Jebel Aulia Bridge is gone in the Sudan.

*China’s President Xi Jinping visited America and met with US President Joseph Biden. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Yet Jinping had a warning for the United States.

*At the 2023 Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit...

*Pedro Sánchez will be serving another term as Prime Minister of Spain.

*Nepal to officially ban Tik Tok.

*Austria has decided to compensate people of same gender relationships for past discriminations.

*Can English medicine conquer cervical cancer by 2040???

*The COVID state of the world, as of November 18, 2023.

*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of November 18, 2023.

*X aka Twitter, is losing advertising sponsors due to Elon Musk's latest comments while the European Commission is stopping their advertising due to misinformation. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Archaeology find rewrites history.

*The LG Twins have defeated the KT Wiz in the Korean Series.⚾

*The Wei Chuan Dragons defeated the Rakuten Monkeys to win the Taiwan Series.⚾

*The Mamelodi Sundowns won the inaugural African Football League title.⚽

*November 18 is the 530th anniversary of Christopher Columbus sighting what is now known as Puerto Rico.

ON ISRAEL, PALESTINE, HAMAS, HEZBOLLAH AND THE GAZA STRIP…

*There are 4/FOUR separate links in the header.

*Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on current events.

*Hamas might release some of their hostages, if—

*War versus humanitarian needs.

THE RUSSIA UKRAINE WAR!

*As the war continues…  

*The Ukraine gained options after Kherson.

*A look at recent wins and losses. 

*Avdiivka all comes down to a chemical factory???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…

*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

🌐THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

*Concerns about the Arctic permafrost.

🌟SPACE POSTS

*Sadly, the Space X Starship failed to successfully launch again.

*Are the meteorites really from Mars???

*A look at the “sand cloud” planet.

*Are you enjoying the Leonid Meteor Shower???

*When Space Telescopes team up...

😢PASSING PARADE…

*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.

*The innocent lives lost during the Middle East conflicts. 

*Former professional hockey🏒 player and 1998 Olympic gold medalist Roman Čechmánek has passed away.

*Former professional basketball🏀 player Johnny Green (active 1959-1973 so some of his past teams no longer exist) is no longer with us.

*Author Michael Bishop (No Enemy But Time, Brittle Innings, more) is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…

ARE YOU AWARE OF THE EYE DROPS RECALLS???

THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…

*Former President Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.

*Will Texas law enforcement soon be able to arrest illegal entrants themselves???

NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the detainees as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FIVE detainees (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.

CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH

*A Colorado Judge has ruled Trump DID commit insurrection January 6, 2021; but the candidate is still on the state’s 2024 ballots, for now.

*So what did Trump say to crowds that fateful day???

*Opinion: Should Trump be able to run in 2024???

POLITICALLY…

*President Biden met with China’s President Xi Jinping. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Yet Jinpoing had a warning for the US.

*President Biden on the 2023 Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit.

*Senator Tim Scott is no longer seeking the 2024 Republican Presidential nomination.

*The latest from the White House.

*Analysis: A look at Trump’s possible agenda if he wins a second term. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Opinions: Donald Trump’s  Veterans' Day speech wasn't just campaigning. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)

*Opinion: All President Biden did was attend a wreath laying ceremony on Veterans’ Day, yet...

⚖THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…

*The Court has established its own personal Code of Ethics. Too bad it doesn't have any enforcement rules.

*Florida’s Anti-Drag Show law is on hold until the Court makes a decision in the appeal case.

ROE V. WADE OVERTURN>AFTERMATH

*Could abortion be a country wide issue on 2024 ballots next November???

SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…

*X aka Twitter, is losing advertising sponsors due to Elon Musk's latest comments while the European Commission is stopping their advertising due to misinformation. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Even minor public displays of same gender love like holding hands are now illegal in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

*Standing up for what's right.

*WHO paid for the football party???

*Opinion: When you target the parents...

😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…

*The state of your state.

😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…

*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.

✅IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!

*About those Jewish Space Lasers...

MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…

*Can a government shutdown be avoided??? At least for the short term once more. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*The potential consequences of staying active.

*Yet apparently Speaker of the House Mike Johnson’s fellow Republicans aren’t happy it took Democrat votes to accomplish this. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Could there have been a physical fight in the Senate???

*At the House of Representatives latest Homeland Security meeting...

*Will Congressional Republicans manage to change a cyber security rule???

*Although his trial has yet to start, Representative George Santos has decided not to run for reelection, and a possible reason why. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*The assailant of Nancy Pelosi’s husband has been found guilty.

TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…

*Has Trump threatened his New York Fraud Trial Judge again???

*As Georgia continues to gather evidence in its pending case against Trump, the judge has issued a protective order concerning some of the materials. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Could Nevada soon be filing its own charges of 2020 Presidential election fraud???

*A Colorado Judge has ruled Trump DID commit insurrection January 6, 2021; but the candidate is still on the state’s 2024 ballots, for now.

*Trump will remain on Michigan’s ballots too, pending the outcomes of his other trials.

*There will be no mistrial in the New York Fraud Trial.

*Opinion: Should Trump be able to run in 2024???

ELSEWHERE…

*Did Trump interfere with Hunter Biden’s legal issues???

*Now Trump is upset with Republican Chair Person Ronna McDaniel???

*People are wondering where Michael Flynn’s leftover legal defense funds went.

*Some early predictions for this winter's snow fall.

😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

*Archaeology find rewrites history.

*The Los Angeles Freeway WILL be repaired.

*The United Auto Workers are going back to work at General Motors.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: NOVEMBER 18, 2023

 😎FUN FACT

The formal term for the noises an empty stomach makes wanting food is Borborygmi.

REBUS

Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?

 ☮

🌍

THE LETTER SHUFFLE

With the holiday arriving next week, how many new words can you make out of the letters in THANKSGIVING?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the November 11, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

THE 50/50 CHANCE

Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question except there are only two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

TRUE or FALSE: The following line from The Flintstones theme song is correct.

♫Let’s ride, with the family down the street

Through the courtesy of Fred’s new heap.♫

FALSE. The line is actually ♫Through the courtesy of Fred’s two feet.♫

Despite gags about mechanical problems and gasoline prices, all vehicles in The Flintstones’ era were foot powered.

NUMBER PLEASE

Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.

On M*A*S*H, how many bug outs (camp evacuations) were performed under Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake?

Answer: ZERO! Every bug out on the series was during Colonel Sherman Potter’s command of the 4077.