Sunday, March 26, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: KNOCK, KNOCK

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Koda?
Koda who?
Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here.
Like the new photo? I think it captures my rugged good looks.

Anyway, recently my people's kids spent an afternoon telling each other Knock Knock jokes.
Most of them were pretty good, but what got me was that every time they started one, they would knock on the table as if they were knocking on a door and I would always start barking as if someone was actually there.
Hey, I'm a watch dog, among my other duties.
Do you think I'm just going to sit and watch some would be burglar come in and take everything my people own?
NO SIR!

Anyway, it's time to share some Knock Knock jokes, but no barking.

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who's there?
Bless.
Bless who?
Gesundheit.
But I didn't sneeze.

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel.

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Sorry, I'm not an owl. 🦉

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who's there?
Banana.🍌
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Orange.🟠
Orange who?
Aren't you glad I said Orange instead of Banana despite the fact they come in bunches?

KNOCK KNOCK.
Is there enough jokes for ALL these people? 😲
Who's there?
Beets.
Beets who?
Beats me. I didn't get up to go look.

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who's there?
Goat. 🐐
Goat who?
Goat to the door and find out.

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who's there?
Weekend.
Weekend who?
Weekend doesn't last as long as you hope, does it?

So on that note♫ take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!KC.

Saturday, March 25, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 19-25, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORE GUN RESPONSIBILITY!

BULLYING HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANNINGS AND BURNINGS!
GET VACCINATED, WEAR YOUR MASK😷
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

MARCH IS WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH.
MARCH IS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AWARENESS MONTH.
EARTH HOUR IS TONIGHT. WILL YOU BE HONORING IT?
MARCH 25 IS GREECE’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
MARCH 26 IS BANGLADESH’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
MARCH 27 IS THE 115TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE MUTT AND JEFF COMIC STRIP.
APRIL 1 IS THE 105TH ANNIVERSARY OF
GREAT BRITAIN ESTABLISHING ITS ROYAL AIR FORCE.
APRIL 1 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF GENERAL HOSPITAL.
APRIL 1 IS APRIL FOOLS DAY.
APRIL 2 IS WORLD AUTISM AWARENESS DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*While COVID and its variants continue to be a global problem, thankfully the vaccination battles continue too. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of March 25, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of March 25, 2023.
*March 28 is the 65th anniversary of Nikita Krushchev becoming the Soviet Union’s Premier.

*China claims Russian President Vladimir Putin is immune from any war crimes prosecution, although there is no time limit on serving the warrant. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*Earth Hour is tonight. Will you be honoring it???

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Actor/stuntman Paul Grant (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Labyrinth, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Hall of Fame basketball🏀 player turned coach Willis Reed is no longer with us.
*Film and TV director Peter Werner (Moonlighting, Call Me Claus, much more) has passed away.
*Classic comic book artist Joe Giella (a prolific career from the late 1940s through 2010s) is no longer with us.
*Author/screenwriter Michael Reaves (Star Wars and Batman franchises, Inter World series, much television) has passed away.
*Gordon Moore, the co-founder of Intel, is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Not agreeing with Critical Race Theory is no reason to yell at a kid. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: The scapegoat???
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
ELSEWHERE…
*DeSantis versus Trump is heating up. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*“My Air Pods are not yours!”—Airline passenger to an employee.
*March 25 is the 65th anniversary of Sugar Ray Leonard becoming a five time boxing champion.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: MARCH 25, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
As a testament to children’s imagination, the common cardboard box📦 was inducted into the US Toy Hall of Fame in 2005.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What are the little black dots on modern windshields called?

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Fred’s wife visits a famous Great Britain landmark.

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the March 18, 2023 Puzzle Corner.

WHO AM I?
Can you identify the person (real or fictitious) based upon the clue below?
♫All the Downtown Ladies call him Tree Top Lover, all the men just call him Sir.♫
Bad, Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?


Sunday, March 19, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LARRY THE "LATE" LEPRECHAUN

 

First and foremost, my most sincerest apologies for not being here March 17 but, with a lot of places easing their COVID-19 restrictions, I found myself with far more appointments than I had time within the day. Whether or not tis safe for those restrictions to be eased is not for me to day. I'm a leprechaun, not a doctor. 😉

In any event, I hope everyone had a HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY, me fine lads and lasses.
Has it truly been a year since I was here last?
O'boy how times flies.

Besides honoring the Patron Saint of the Emerald Isle, March 17 is also Saint Gertude's Day.
Patrick may have driven the snakes out of Ireland, and I haven't seen any of those reptiles around lately meself, Gertude is the Patron Saint of Cats🐱, but please don't call her a crazy cat lady. She is a fine lass and them felines be fine animals.

In any event Larry the Leprechaun finally with ye all here.

If any of you are wondering, leprechauns are lucky, under certain circumstances. But ever since that one bloke hooked up with that cereal company, the rest of us can't come right out and call ourselves lucky any more.

Anyway, whether you prefer cats🐱 or shamrocks🍀, March 17 was Saint Patrick's Day, where even those who cannot claim any ancestry to the Emerald Isle be Irish as we honored the great Saint Patrick himself. You'll have to talk to whoever is in charge of calendars to find out why Gertude doesn't even get mentioned.
That doesn't sound fair to me.

While the day first began as a purely religious observance during Lent, it has certainly grown beyond anyone's imagination to become a holiday of anything and everything Irish, whether it be legend or fact.
However, that does not prevent me from telling everyone some fine Irish inspired humor.

What's Irish and stays outside in your yard all the time?
Patty O'Furniture.

Why did good Saint Patrick drive the snakes🐍 out of Ireland?
Because it was too far for them to walk.

Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
Because ye don't want to press your luck.

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A sham rock.
Of course music wise, some of us leprechauns really like shamrock and roll🎵.

What kind of bow cannot be tied?
A rainbow.🌈

What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
Some poor horse🐎 is walking around bare foot!

Why do frogs🐸 love Saint Patrick's Day?
Because they're already green.

And as always, before I must part company with all ye fine people, let me pause to wish everyone the best in life. Until we meet again...

May the road rise up to meet ye to ease your travels
May the wind always be at your back to make the journey quicker
May the sun shine warm upon your face to make your trip more comfortable
May the rains fall softly upon your fields to make your crops more bountiful.
May a rainbow always follow the rain.
May your needs never meet lack.
And may the hand of a friend always be within reach.

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!
I HOPE EVERYONE REMEMBERS SAINT GERTUDE'S DAY!

Whenever you do so, please party responsibly and safely.
While alcohol isn't needed to do so,
life should be celebrated EVERY day!

The Sunday Funnies will return next weekend with a delayed Koda Canine.
Until then, take care and STAY SAFE! 😷—lh,jr.

Saturday, March 18, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 12-18, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORE GUN
RESPONSIBILITY!

BULLYING HAS TO STOP!


GET VACCINATED, WEAR YOUR MASK😷
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

MARCH IS WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH.
MARCH IS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AWARENESS MONTH.
MARCH 18 IS GLOBAL RECYCLING DAY!
😀MARCH 20 IS THE INTERNATIONAL DAY OF HAPPINESS.😀
MARCH 20 IS THE SPRING EQUINOX.
MARCH 20 IS THE 80TH ANNIVERSARY OF DROOPY DOG’S DEBUT
IN TEX AVERY’S DUMB HOUNDED.
MARCH 21 IS WORLD DOWN SYNDROME AWARENESS DAY.
MARCH 22 IS WORLD WATER DAY.🌊
MARCH 22 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE BEATLES’ FIRST ALBUM: PLEASE PLEASE ME.
MARCH 23 IS THE START OF RAMADAN FOR THOSE OBSERVING.
MARCH 23 IS WORLD BEAR DAY.🐻🧸
MARCH 24 IS WORLD TUBERCULOSIS DAY.
MARCH 26 IS BANGLADESH’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*While COVID and its variants continue to be a global problem, thankfully the vaccination battles continue too. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of March 18, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of March 18, 2023.
*Great Britain and New Zealand have prohibited the use of Chinese based Tik-Tok on all government devices. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*How close is Finland to joining NATO??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Status update: March 15, 2023.
*Poland and Slovakia’s latest aid to the Ukraine. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The International Criminal Court has issued arrest warrants for Russian President Vladimir Putin and Russian Children’s Rights Commissioner Maria Lvova-Belova for alleged war crimes against Ukrainian children. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*March 18 is Global Recycling Day.
*March 22 is World Water Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.
*Former professional baseball⚾ player Joe Pepitone has passed away.
*Actor Lance Reddick (Bosch, Fringe, John Wick franchise, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Magician/actress Gloria Dea (first magician to ever perform in Las Vegas, original Around the World in 80 Days, Plan 9 From Outer Space, more) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Animator/designer Roland/Rolly Crump (Peter Pan through 101 Dalmatians, many architectural projects) is no longer with us.
*Former professional basketball🏀 player Felton Spencer has passed away.
*Singer Bobby Caldwell (♫What You Won’t Do For Love♫, much songwriting for others) is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*Trump versus Pence continues. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE PAPERS CAPER…
POLITICALLY…
*Looking into the Silicon Valley Bank failure and bailout. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Meanwhile, at Signature Bank… (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: Who’s at fault???
THE BUDGET BATTLE…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Opinion: As part of Florida’s “anti-woke” campaign, race no longer matters in the history of Rosa Parks! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
ELSEWHERE…

*“No.”—Trump to a Grand Jury.
*The 2023 Razzies, for the worse in films went to…
*The 2023 Oscars, for the best in films went to…
*March Madness🏀 2023 is under way
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: MARCH 18, 2023

 😎FUN FACT
Frank Sinatra wanted to record ♫Colour My World♫, but thought the song needed an additional verse. Songwriter James Pankow of Chicago disagreed, so the deal was never made.

WHO AM I?
Can you identify the person (real or fictitious) based upon the clue below?
♫All the Downtown Ladies call him Tree Top Lover, all the men just call him Sir.♫

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image below. Do you know what it is?



We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the March 11, 2023 Puzzle Corner, and our time traveling quiz.⌚⌛⏰⏳
Were you able to identify the show (title answers in ALL CAPS) from its intro quote?

01. Theorizing that one could time travel within their own lifetime…
Doctor Sam Becket led an elite group of scientists into
the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM LEAP. (original series)
02. Two American scientists are lost in the swirling maze of past and future ages, during the first experiments on America’s greatest and most secret project… THE TIME TUNNEL.
03. We travel through time to help history along. Give it a push where it’s needed. VOYAGERS
04. Where it’s the same year and you’re the same person, but everything else is different. SLIDERS
05. Takes him back to the place and the people he calls home. QUANTUM LEAP, 2022 REVIVAL.

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

HAPPY PI DAY 2023 (MARCH 14, 3.14)

 Today is March 14, 2023.

Happy PI Day!
PI Day?
March is the third month of the year and today is the fourteenth.
03-14
3.14
PI! 𝛑
An irrational number that cannot be fully expressed as a fraction, although most scientists and mathematicians prefer to write it as 22 over 7.
It is an unique number whose exact decimal representation cannot be completely calculated because it never ends nor repeats to a scientific conclusion. The number sequence representing PI, as seen in the image below, is derived from trying to divide 22 by 7.

A few speculate that the answers to the universe can be found in the equation, provided you know the right questions to ask. Personally, I always thought that was either 42 or "What do you get when you multiply 6 by 9?"😊

In the classic Star Trek episode "Wolf in the Fold", the Enterprise's computer was ordered to compute Pi to the last digit as part of an attempt to defeat the enemy of the week. We were never told the answer, although I like to think they would have figured it out by Captain Kirk and Mister Spock's time.

Okay. That concludes the science and history lessons for today. Now on with the jokes!😎
Pumpkin PI 😉

PI is difficult to have a conversation with because it will just go on forever!

What do you call a number that can't keep still?
A Roman Numeral.

Why does everyone hate the number 288?
It's two gross.

Is the moon really made of cheese or is it just a PI in the sky?

What's the best way to visualize infinity?
With a PI Chart!

Because March 14 is on a Tuesday this year, thanks for allowing us this brief chance to brighten your day outside of the Sunday Funnies and since it's this coming Friday, Larry the Leprechaun will be here for his annual Saint Patrick's Day🍀 visit.

Until then, take care and STAY SAFE!😷—lh,jr.

UPDATE: MARCH 18
SORRY FOLKS! LARRY THE LEPRECHAUN WAS OVERBOOKED FOR SAINT PATRICK'S DAY, SO HE WILL BE ON THE SUNDAY FUNNIES TOMORROW, MARCH 19.—lh,jr.

Sunday, March 12, 2023

SUNDAY FUNNIES: JUST KITTEN

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
Like the new head shot? Koda Canine got a new photo too but you'll see his next weekend.
Anyway, there's supposed to be a bad winter storm coming through our neck of the woods Monday night and staying till at least Wednesday morning.
Now first off, have you ever heard of a GOOD winter storm?
Meow neither.
And this one will definitely be overstaying its unwelcomed visit.
So I'm all snug and warm inside my people's house, but I've managed to dig out some fresh jokes from the various hiding places around here I keep them in for situations like this.
Ready?

Washing windows is a pain in the glass.

I find it cute when my people's kids meow back at me after I say something to them.
Now if only they spoke Cat properly... 😼

They say you can tune a piano, but you cannot tuna fish.
That is not true. You just adjust the scales.
In any event, you can keep the piano. Just give meow the tuna.

An empty fortune cookie is rather unfortunate.

Why did the picture go to prison?
It was framed.

🕷Spiders🕷 are the only web🕸 designers that love finding bugs.

Did you know that the official term for a group of jellyfish is a SMACK?
Why isn’t it called a Jam?😾

Australia is the biggest exporter of boomerangs.
It is also the biggest importer.

Remember, if you wear spectacles👓, always make sure they are clean.
You can’t be optimistic if you have misty optics.

So on that note♫ take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

Saturday, March 11, 2023

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 5-11, 2023: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORE GUN
RESPONSIBILITY!

BULLYING HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANNINGS AND BURNINGS!
GET VACCINATED, WEAR YOUR MASK😷
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

MARCH IS WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH.
MARCH IS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AWARENESS MONTH.
MARCH 14 IS PI DAY. (3.14 = 𝛑)
MARCH 15 IS THE IDES OF MARCH.
MARCH 16 IS PANDA DAY.🐼
MARCH 17 IS SAINT PATRICK’S DAY.🍀

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*While COVID and its variants continue to be a global problem, thankfully the vaccination battles continue too. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of March 11, 2023.
*The global M(onkey) Pox status, as of March 11, 2023.
*China’s President will serve a third term, but they have a new Premier. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Toblerone will still be available. Just look for the new packaging.


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.
*Gary Rossington, the last surviving original member of Lynyrd Skynyrd, has gone to join his band mates.
*Singer/songwriter/musician Robert Haimer (America, Barnes & Barnes) is no longer with us.
*Film director Bert I. Gordon (The Amazing Colossal Man, Earth versus the Spider, more) has passed away.
*Actor Chaim Topol (Fiddler On The Roof, 1980’s Flash Gordon, The Winds of War, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Robert Blake (Baretta, Hell Town, a late addition to the original Little Rascals/Our Gang, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Author/illustrator Ian Falconer (the Olivia series, The New Yorker, more) is no longer with us.
*Singer/song writer Jerrold Samuels aka Napoleon XIV of ♫They’re Coming To Take Me Away♫ has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player Dick Haley is no longer with us.
*Former professional 🏀basketball/football🏈 player Bud Grant has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…

FOR THOSE PARTICIPATING, DON’T FORGET TO SET
YOUR CLOCKS AHEAD ONE HOUR TONIGHT TO
SPRING FORWARD FOR DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.

THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*Former President Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the detainees as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FIVE detainees (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
THE BUDGET BATTLE…
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*“Marriage is only between the right man and correct woman at the discretion of local officials.”—Tennessee State Government.
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…
😷THE US VERSUS M(ONKEY) POX…
*The state of your state, M(onkey) Pox wise.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
ELSEWHERE…
*Trump may be gaining popularity on Twitter again, BUT THE SUPPORTING ACCOUNTS AREN’T REAL!
*Toblerone will still be available. Just look for the new packaging.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…