Sunday, January 31, 2016

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DOG LESSONS (misc. jokes)

"Class is in session."
Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here!
Now I've been around the block a few times already.
Usually at the end of a leash, but that doesn't mean I haven't learned a few things.
For example:

Unless you're the head dog on the sled team, the view never changes.

Careful when you follow the masses.
Sometimes the M is silent.

It was a sad day when I discovered that the universal remote did not control the universe, not even remotely.

Never let an old flame burn you twice.

Ambiguity: What happens in vagueness stays in vagueness.

The secret for a clean kitchen is: don't ever cook.
Then again, I eat off the floor to help keep it clean...

You are what you eat. Don't be fast, cheap, or fake.

On that note, have a great week everybody, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 24-30, 2016

JANUARY 31 IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN NAURU.
FEBRUARY 4 IS THE 75th ANNIVERSARY OF THE USO.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa has been elected the new President of the Portuguese Republic.
*Hilda Heine has been elected President of the Marshall Islands by local Parliament, becoming the country's first female president.
*In France: taxi drivers, air traffic controllers and school teachers have gone on strike over working conditions and competition from non-traditional services such as Uber.
*A computer program called AlphaGo, powered by DeepMind, beat the European Go champion Fan Hui, 5-0, in the ancient Chinese abstract strategy board game.


TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*Boko Haram suicide bombers killed at least 32 people and injured 66 others in northern Cameroon.
*An ISIS/ISIL suicide bomber killed at least 22 people, including a dozen soldiers at a Syrian Army checkpoint in Homs.
*Several more suicide bomber attacks have been reported across the Middle East this past week.
PASSING PARADE...
*Actor Frank Finlay (The Pianist, The Three Musketeers) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Paul Kantner, musician and co-founder of Jefferson Airplane, is no longer with us.
*Marvin Minsky, famous scientist in the field of Artificial Intelligence, has passed away.
*Actor Abe Vigoda (The Godfather, Barney Miller, Fish) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*British explorer Henry Worsley died while attempting to be the first person to cross Antarctica unaided.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*The race to determine who shall be the next President of the United States begins in earnest with the Iowa Caucuses February 1st.
*While he still will not discuss his plans post-January 2017, President Barack Obama has publicly stated that, even if was legal for him to do so, he would not have sought a third term.
ELSEWHERE...
*U.S. federal authorities have finally arrested militia leader Ammon Bundy and several of his followers following an exchange of gunfire at a traffic stop on U.S. Route 395 in Harney County, Oregon.
*New York State park system officials have proposed a temporary "shut off" of the American Falls portion of Niagara Falls within three years to replace two 115-year-old pedestrian stone bridges that are unsafe.
*Facebook and its photo-sharing subsidiary Instagram, have officially banned private, person-to-person sales of guns via its services.
*A "mega yacht" is suspected of destroying 80% of West Bay's protected Caribbean coral reef.
*BELIEVE IT OR NOT: A Kentucky high school student was forced to kneel so school officials could determine whether or not her dress was too short!
*The 50th Super Bowl will be between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers February 7th.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 30, 2016

FUN FACT


RHYME TIME
The clue to something specific is below. But no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme with each other. Ready?

Math class about subtraction.

NEXT?
All you have to do is figure out what the next item in the sequence below should be. Ready?

O, T, T, F, F, S, S, E, ?


We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the January 23, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

WHO SAID THAT? NEW GAME!

A brand new puzzle for 2016. We post a famous quote below. All you have to do is identify WHO SAID IT. Ready?

"A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn, could not do it better." —Doctor Martin Luther King, Junior


COMMON BONDS
The items within each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {A prison warden, a grand piano} = Both have keys.
02. {Carl Sagan, Graham Nash} = A is the only vowel in their names!

Sunday, January 24, 2016

SUNDAY FUNNIES: RANDOM ACTS OF COMEDY (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
The Magic Cleaning Fairy skipped my cave again, so while I'm trying to tidy up a bit, I thought I'd share with some of you the jokes I've been stockpiling.
Ready?

A woman called the post office and said, "I need a baseball quote."
"How about, It ain't over til its over, by Yogi Berra?" asked the clerk.
There was a brief moment of silence over the phone before the lady asked, "What was that?
"You asked for a baseball quote.That was the first thing that came to my head," explained the clerk.
"Oh. My husband asked me to call and get a baseball quote."
"Does he want to ship something?" asked the clerk.
"Yes."
"Maybe he meant a ballpark figure?" realized the clerk.
"I don't know. It's just an old lamp," replied the woman.



A SHORT LIST OF THINGS THAT COULD BRING THE WORLD TO ITS END:
3) Disease
2) Nuclear war
1) Giving a 3 year old child the red cup when they asked for the blue one.

Can you see what I'm saying?
What? It's bad enough when someone doesn't keep their mouth closed when they eat, but now words are coming out of their mouth when they speak? Gross!

"I caught mousey. Now what?"
Back in Egyptian times, Man worshiped cats as gods and wrote on walls.
With the Internet, how are things any different today?

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Is it "Feed a fever, starve a cold" or "Starve a fever, feed a cold"?
Either way, don't let your illness overeat.

Why were the squirrels sent to the principal’s office?
They drove the teacher nuts.


And on that note, have a great week everybody, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 17-23, 2016

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*Some sanctions have been lifted against Iran since the country has been found to be in compliance with current nuclear accords.
*Seven countries have pledged anew to combat ISIS/ISIL terrorism.
*The death of the terrorist known as "Jihadi John" has been confirmed.
*Sierra Leone has quarantined over 100 people following two new Ebola virus deaths.
*The Ukraine claims that a recent cyberattack on its Boryspil International Airport near Kiev came from Russian computers.
*There is a petition before the British Parliament to ban Donald Trump from ever entering the country because of his frequent use of "hate speech".
*NASA and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced that 2015 was the hottest year on record, to date. Any bets on 2016?
*Even though Pluto has been demoted to "dwarf planet" status, could there actually be a NINTH planet in our solar system?
*A rare celestial alignment between Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Mars and Jupiter has begun and will last until late February 2016!

TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*A suicide bomber outside the Aden, Yemen's police chief house killed 7
innocent people in an unsuccessful attempt to assassinate the police chief himself. Meanwhile, another bomber was successful in killing the police chief of Bayda, Yemen.
*The United Nations Commission on Human Rights reports that at least 18,802 civilians have been killed and another 36,245 wounded between 1 January 2014 and 31 October 2015 during the Iraqi civil war.
*The historic Saint Elijah's Monastery near Mosul, Iraq; its oldest Christian monastery that predates Islam, has been completely razed by ISIS/ISIL militants.
*A suicide bomber in Kabul, Afghanistan, killed 4 and injured 20 more in an attack on Tolo News.

PASSING PARADE...
*Glenn Frey, founding member of The Eagles, is no longer with us.
Dallas Taylor, drummer for Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*President Barack Obama has announced that he will attend his oldest daughter Malia's high school graduation only as a proud father, rather than as an invited guest speaker.
*There is a petition before the British Parliament to ban Donald Trump from ever entering the country because of his frequent use of "hate speech". Meanwhile, Sarah Palin has officially endorsed Trump for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination, but hasn't attended a pro-Trump event since.
*Former New York City Mayor has announced he would seriously consider an independent bid for the Presidency himself if the election came down to Democrat Bernie Sanders versus Republican Donald Trump.
*What does President Obama and his family plan to do when his last term expires in January 2017? Don't ask him until AFTER the new President has been sworn into office.
*Is it possible polygamy will eventually become legal in Utah?
ELSEWHERE...
*The United States Supreme Court has agreed to consider a case that would redefine the definition of "insider trading". It will also soon be hearing arguments in regards to the limits of executive action versus President Obama's recent immigration reforms.
*For those who still do not believe in climate change, an impending "Godzilla sized" El Niño might end California's drought problems this year.
*For the first time since they stopped putting a five day limitation on champions, Jeopardy! had to start a show with three new contestants and NO returning champ!
*After several performers have announced that they will be boycotting the 2016 Oscars, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced changes that will increase the diversity of the nominees by 2020.
*It has been announced that the as yet subtitled Star Wars: Episode VIII has been pushed back from May to a December 15, 2017 release.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 23, 2016

FUN FACT
The country of Indonesia is actually made up of over 17,000 islands!

WHO SAID THAT? NEW GAME!
A brand new puzzle for 2016. We post a famous quote below. All you have to do is identify WHO SAID IT. Ready?

"A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn, could not do it better."

COMMON BONDS
The items within each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {A prison warden, a grand piano}
02. {Carl Sagan, Graham Nash}

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the January 16, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
What is pandiculation?
The formal term for yawning and stretching at the same time.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate things have at least one word in common, so they can be combined to form something new. Can you figure out what the new thing is, based upon the clue below?

A famous animated duo in a Tom Cruise film?
Tom and Jerry Maguire

Monday, January 18, 2016

DOCTOR MARTIN LUTHER KING, JUNIOR DAY: 2016

THE FOLLOWING IS AN EDITORIAL.


Today we honor the memory, dream, and efforts of Doctor Martin Luther King, Junior. A man who peacefully strove to achieve civil liberties for all.

Kind of ironic when you think about it, considering the current efforts by some to restrict voting rights and the racial tensions not only in some parts of the United States, but some areas of the world as well.

Doctor King's life was tragically cut short by an assassin, but we should never forget the ideals and lessons he tried to share in the brief time he was with us.

Voting is the foundation stone for political action.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

I have decided to stick to love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Wise words to think about, even today!


THE ABOVE WAS AN EDITORIAL.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LOOKING IT UP (new? words)

Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here!

Every year, new words are coined, and sometimes are worthy enough to be included within such noted reference volumes as The Oxford English Dictionary.

During 2015, this august organization officially recognized such terms as Blu-ray, crowdfund(ed), FLOTUS (the acronym for the First Lady Of The United States), JavaScript™, kryptonite, SCOTUS (the acronym for the Supreme Court Of The United States), and the dreaded Staycation.


While the people in charge of this lofty reference source have not announced
Chairdrobe
any additions for 2016, yet, I would like to humbly submit the following for consideration...

*Chairdrobe (n): piling clothes on a chair instead of within a closet or drawer.

*Epiphanot (n): An idea that seems like an amazing insight to the conceiver; but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect.
Epiphanot

*Internest (n): the cocoon of blankets  and pillows you gather around yourself  while spending long periods of time on the Internet.

*Texpectation (n): the anticipation felt when waiting for a response to a text.


*Unkeyboardfinated (adj): When you are unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes.

Well, whether or not any of these potential gems ever get officially recognized remains to be seen, but have a great week and please be back with us next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 10-16, 2016

WIKIPEDIA CELEBRATES ITS 15th ANNIVERSARY THIS MONTH!

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*Hurricane Alex became the first recorded Atlantic hurricane to form in the month of January since 1938. While of minimal strength, all precautions are advised for those along its path.
*Tsai Ing-wen has been elected the first female President of Taiwan.
*While there is, sadly, still no sign of the remains of Malaysia Flight MH370 lost two years ago, the search has uncovered another lost shipwreck!
*China's Haier Group bought General Electric's appliance unit for $5.4 billion American dollars.
*Astronomers have announced the discovery of the biggest supernova yet.
*WINDOWS 8 AND INTERNET EXPLORERS 8-10 ARE NO LONGER SUPPORTED BY MICROSOFT.

TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*Militant attacks in Jakarta, Indonesia, killed two people, injuring many more.
*At least ten people were killed in a suicide bombing in Istanbul, Turkey.
*ISIS/ISIL forces have claimed responsibility for the bombing at an Iraqi shopping center that left over 50 dead.
*Boko Haram militants shot and killed 7 people while burning down their homes in Madagali, Adamawa. No "reason" for the incident was given.
*A suicide bomber attacked and killed a small group of German tourists in Istanbul.

PASSING PARADE...
*Singer/actor David Bowie (too much to mention) is no longer with us.
*Actor David Margulies (Ghostbusters 1, The Sopranos) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Film art director John B. Mansbridge (Tron, The Apple Dumpling Gang, Bedknobs and Broomsticks) has passed away.
*Actor Alan Rickman (the Harry Potter series, Die Hard 1, Love Actually) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*René Angélil, husband/manager of Celine Dion, has passed away.
*Actor Dan Haggerty (The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams) has taken his last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
President Obama
*As previously covered by The Free Choice E-zine, President Barack Obama gave the final State of the Union Address of his administration Tuesday night.
*Meanwhile, the GOP has announced its own agenda for 2016.
*The House of Representatives has voted for tighter sanctions against North Korea after that country's latest nuclear test. They have also passed a measure that would not allow individuals to initiate class action lawsuits against corporations if it officially becomes law.
*With the first state elections still a few weeks away as this is posted, Donald Trump is still the frontrunner amongst the hopefuls for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination, while Hillary Clinton's lead against Bernie Sanders for the Democratic nomination is seriously slipping.
*Besides trying to figure out whether or not Canadian born Ted Cruz is even eligible to run for President, let alone be an United States Senator, now comes allegations that he received and didn't disclose a "loan" from Goldman Sachs to his senatorial campaign while his wife was still working there.
ELSEWHERE...
*Wal-mart will eventually be closing all its "Express" stores. Eliminating the smallest format of the retail chain will result in over 200 closings across the globe.
*The 73rd presentation of the Golden Globe Awards included The Martian winning Best Picture: Musical or Comedy and a Best Performance by an Actor for Matt Damon, along with The Revenant winning Best Drama and Leonardo DiCaprio wining Best Performance by an Actor; and Mr. Robot winning Best TV Drama.
*The 2016 nominations for Razzies (for the Worst) in movies this past year, have been announced.
*The Martian led the pack for most nominations in competition for the 2016 Oscars.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 16, 2016

FUN FACT
Glass takes one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

TRIVIA TIME
What is pandiculation?

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate things have at least one word in common, so they can be combined to form something new. Can you figure out what the new thing is, based upon the clue below?

A famous animated duo in a Tom Cruise film?

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the January 9, 2016 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset have something in common.
Do you know what it is?

01. {Basketball, volleyball, racquetball} and the answer is not sports.
ALL were invented within YMCAs!
02. {Joan Fontaine, Olivia de Havilland} and the answer is not actresses.
They were sisters.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, but there are only two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?

Is Hexadactylism life threatening?
No. It's the formal term for having either six fingers on a hand or six toes on a foot.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

BEHIND THE SCENES: THE LEGENDS OF NEW PULP FICTION ANTHOLOGY

Today, The Free Choice E-zine looks into the origins of a unique anthology: LEGENDS OF NEW PULP FICTION, with some of the behind the scenes people who worked on this volume.

Cover by Douglas Klauba
“In early 2015, we learned that New Pulp writer/editor/publisher Tommy Hancock of Pro Se Productions was suffering from congestive heart-failure,” said Airship 27 Productions' Managing Editor, Ron Fortier. “Tommy is a relatively young man, but this is a dangerous condition that threatened not only him, but his entire family. Almost immediately after Tommy made the news public, several members of the New Pulp community began putting their heads together to see if anything could be done to help the Hancocks.
“When Jaime Ramos first proposed the idea of doing a benefit anthology, I immediately brought in my partner,” continued Fortier, referring to Airship 27 Art Director Rob Davis. “There was no way this was going to fly without Rob handling the book’s overall artwork and design. After securing Tommy's blessings, we then posted an ad on Facebook explaining the project and seeking submissions from both writers and artists.  “It was always our intention to do this as a traditional pulp tome, and thus artwork would be a major element in the final product.”

Original rally poster
Within 48 hours after posting his recruiting ad, Fortier had received 57
commitments from various New Pulp writers while 36 artists in the field signed on to do the illustrations. But much to Fortier's surprise, and delight, the very first creator to volunteer his assistance was Douglas Klauba, who volunteered to paint the anthology’s cover once the book was assembled. “Honestly, I was in shock,” Fortier confessed. Doug is an amazing artist. One of the finest in the field, and his offering to do the cover was very much an omen that we were about to put together something truly unique.

“Yet at that point, we also had to publicly closed the admission call,” admitted Fortier. “It was crazy. Fifty-seven stories in just two days! Some of the most popular New Pulp writers and artists in the field were all volunteering their services. Even with a word limit of 4000-8000 for each tale and only 1 illustration per story, Rob and I began to realize just how giant a book this was going to be. Of course there were naysayers who warned us we’d never get all of the tales. They were right. We got 62 stories instead!”

With the project underway, Fortier read each entry and assigned it to an artist for one black and white illustration. Jaime Ramos acted as his assistant editor, proofing each story afterward. Unfortunately, months into the project Ramos, who suffers from diabetes, found his own health in jeopardy and was forced to sideline himself with only have the stories done. What looked to be a major set-back was averted with writer/editor Todd Jones, a protégé of Fortier’s, volunteered to take on the task of finishing the proofing.

And so, after months of ups and downs, Airship 27 Productions released LEGENDS OF NEW PULP FICTION. A giant treasure chest of some of the finest New Pulp fiction ever produced in an 830 page collection. Representing the varied genres of pulp tradition with tales of horror, mystery, horror, suspense, pirates, fantasy, private eyes, crime-busting avengers and westerns, and more!

Back cover list of contributors
“Rob and I kidded during the long months of production that we had everything kind of pulp tale imaginable, save for a romance story. Then in the final days before the deadline of story submissions, we were sent a romance. No lie!” quipped Fortier.

LEGENDS OF NEW PULP FICTION was released right before Christmas 2015, with ALL profits earned by this amazing book going to Tommy Hancock and his family to help pay medical and other life expenses.

“It means a lot when someone says they are thinking of you or praying for you when things are hard, especially when you’re looking at what might be the end of your life,” said Tommy Hancock. “I can’t put into words what over a 100 people did to help me and my family, saying ‘We are here. We are thinking of You. We want to catch You at least a little bit.’ That means a LOT to me. The writers and artists involved, Ron and Rob, and all the people now promoting the book, a book that they get nothing from except the knowledge that they have helped someone. And that someone is me, a person who is usually on the other side of something like this. This is so humbling and perhaps the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

LEGENDS OF NEW PULP FICTION is available in both print and Kindle editions from Amazon.com

THE 2016 STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS

THE FOLLOWING IS THE ACTUAL NEWS.
EDITORIAL COMMENTARY TO FOLLOW.


United States President Barack Obama
In his last State of the Union address as President of the United States of America, President Barack Obama not only outlined what he hoped to accomplish (with bipartisan cooperation) during his final year in office...
*Criminal justice reform
*Helping people battle drug abuse
*Helping students become more computer literate
*Better medical treatments for patients
*Reorganizing the immigration process
*Curbing gun violence
*Helping middle and low income families by establishing paid leave, equal pay for equal work, and raising the minimum wage

But his hopes and dreams for the future of this country as well...
*Pre-kindergarten for every child
*More computer/science and math classes
*Making college more affordable and not leave students drowning in debt
*Strengthening Social Security and Medicare
*Improving medical research, even in hopes of eventually curing cancer
*Developing clean energy resources
*Improving the environment and combating climate change
*Fight terrorism not just physically, but off the battlefield as well by continuing to "cut off ISIL’s financing, disrupt their plots, stop the flow of terrorist fighters, and stamp out their vicious ideology."
*Continue to build a global coalition of friends and allies not just for battle, but to face other global threats as well, like Ebola
*Change the political system to improve democracy by ending district gerrymandering, getting "big money" out of politics, and stop restricting voting registration

OF COURSE, the Republican Party had to have their say on the matter, but surprisingly there was only ONE rebuttal this year, delivered by South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley.
*The economy isn't strong.
*Terrorist believe America weak and an easy target
*Health care needs improving BECAUSE of the Affordable Health Care Act
*Our country is being "tested", but the Republicans can fix it all if elected in November.

THE ABOVE WAS THE NEWS.
THE FOLLOWING IS AN EDITORIAL.

With all due respect to the Republican Party: B*LLSH*T!
Your own track record over the recent years disproves those claims.
The only reason the Affordable Health Care Act, aka "Obama Care" passed, was because it was presented at a time when there was still a Democratic majority in Congress.
How many times has your party tried to repeal it, even to the point of challenging its legality before the Supreme Court. A case that you LOST!
Think what you could of accomplished during all that wasted time!
Have you addressed climate change?
Have you addressed the economy beyond the scope of corporations?
Have you improved gun control?

Don't like those facts?
Then here are some more for you.


2009 saw the transition from the George W. Bush administration to the Barack Obama administration.
Is America perfect? No, but how you can say the country isn't better now than it was eight years ago and still live with yourself is beyond me.

So tell me Republicans, what have you done to believe that your candidates deserve to be (re)elected once more?

THE ABOVE WAS AN EDITORIAL.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

SUNDAY FUNNIES: STARTING THE NEW YEAR RIGHT...

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Last weekend I helped Autumn the Puppy ring in the new year. Of course, considering that episode of the Sunday Funnies was posted on January 3, so technically we were a bit late, but it WAS the first Sunday of the new year and we have no control over the calendar.

Anyway, now it's my first solo turn of 2016, so I want to kick things off right by giving everyone a positive, inspirational message to face the rest of the year ahead.

Ready?

"IF YOU CAN..."

If you can start the day without caffeine...

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains...

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles...

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it...

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time...

If you can overlook when people take things out on you, even through no fault of yours, something goes wrong...

You can take criticism and blame without resentment...

If you can face the world without lies and deceit...

If you can conquer tension without medical help...

If you can relax without liquor...

And if you can sleep without the aid of drugs...

Then... you are almost as good as your dog or cat!
Something to think about folks, because the world would be a much better place if we ALL got our act(s) together.
Have a great week, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 3-9, 2016

THE BATMAN TV SERIES WITH ADAM WEST AND BURT WARD DEBUTED JANUARY 12, 1966; MAKING 2016 ITS 50th ANNIVERSARY.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*While North Korea says they have successfully tested a hydrogen bomb, there is no physical evidence to support their claim.
*Saudi Arabia has stopped diplomatic relations with Iran after Sheikh Nimr's execution and an attack on the Saudi embassy in Tehran.
*The fugitive drug lord known as "El Chapo" has been recaptured.
*Egypt, Japan, Senegal, Ukraine and Uruguay are now officially part of the United Nations Security Council.
*The United Kingdom has designated Ascension Island and its surrounding waters in the Atlantic Ocean as a Marine protected area.
*FOUR new elements have officially been added to the Periodic Table.

TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...

*ISIS/ISIL forces have claimed responsibility for the suicide bombing of an Iraqi Army base.
*Despite repeated attempts to do so, ISIS/ISIL forces have yet to seize control of the Libyan oil port of Sidra, but claim they are now in command of the nearby town of Bin Jawad.

PASSING PARADE...
*Robert Balser, animator on Yellow Submarine and Heavy Metal, has passed away.
*Actor (One Day At A Time), comedian (The Jack Paar Show) and voice actor (Inspector Clouseau of animated shorts) Pat Harrington, Junior has taken his last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*With all the important issues that MUST be done and have yet to be addressed, Republicans in Congress managed to pass a bill calling for the immediate end of the Affordable Health Care Act, aka "Obama Care" and the defunding of Planned Parenthood. President Barack Obama promptly vetoed the measure.
*Meanwhile, President Obama announced executive orders to expand background checks for firearms and toughen regulation of firearms since those same Republicans will not take legislative action themselves.
*YET THOSE SAME REPUBLICANS are considering a possible bailout to help Volkswagen after all their emission and legal troubles of late.
*President Obama's last State of the Union address is scheduled to be given January 12.
*The official citizenry of Republican Presidential nominee hopeful Ted Cruz has been called into question. The issue the GOP has tried to avoid discussing: despite having an American mother, Cruz was born in Canada, where she lived with his Canadian father at the time.
*Regardless of who becomes the next President of the United States, will there be a constitutional convention in 2017 to suggest changes to the Constitution?
ELSEWHERE...
*As Pfizer merged with Ireland based Allegran to reduce its American tax bill, the company RAISED prices on over 100 medicines in the United States.
*Natalie Cole's cause of death has officially been declared as idiopathic pulmonary arterial hypertension, which led to heart failure.
*Could the Playboy Mansion be for sale by the end of 2016???
*Actor Michael Weatherly has announced he will leave NCIS as Anthony DiNozzo at the end of the current season.
*The 15th and final season of American Idol has begun.
*The San Diego Chargers, St. Louis Rams and Oakland Raiders all want to relocate to Los Angeles.
*Ken Griffey, Junior and Mike Piazza will enter the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame this summer.
*Are Jose Reyes, Yasiel Puig and Aroldis Chapman in trouble with Major League Baseball over domestic violence issues?

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.