Sunday, November 29, 2015

SUNDAY FUNNIES: GRIN AND BEAR IT (bear jokes)

Hi folks! Free Choice E-zine Editor-in-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here today, because we're finishing up the Thanksgiving holiday weekend here in America and the ladies are off with their families, like a lot of employees should have been on Thanksgiving.

So that means I get to entertain you for this edition of the Sunday Funnies, and the subject I have chosen is bears. Ready?

"Got any honey?"
What do you call a bear in the middle of the Sahara Desert?
Lost.

Where do polar bears like to vacation?
Brrrr-muda

What time is it when five grizzly bears are chasing you?
Five after one, but the most obvious answer would be: Time to run!

What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth?
A Gummy bear.

What do bears pack to go on a long holiday?
Just the bear essentials.

A hunter was following bear tracks when he came across a country road skirting the edge of the forest.
He looked and saw a sign that said "Bear Left".
Disappointed, he went home.

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.

Where do polar bears vote?
At the North Poll.

What do you call a bear that whines?
Whiny the Pooh.


What did the male bear say to the female bear when he proposed?
"May I have your paw in marriage? I only have eyes fur you, honey."

And on that note, have a great week folks, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—lh,jr.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 22-28, 2015

TODAY IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN ALBANIA.
THE GRAND OLE OPRY CELEBRATES ITS
90th RADIO ANNIVERSARY TODAY.
DECEMBER 1st IS THE 60th ANNIVERSARY OF
ROSA PARKS' STANDING UP FOR HER CIVIL RIGHTS.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*Due to recent events, Canada has closed its Brussels Embassy till further notice, except for emergency services. Meanwhile, France has voted to extend its contributions to fighting terrorism in the Middle East.
*The territorial disputes in the South China Sea continue.
*Mauricio Macri is the new President-elect of Argentina, after winning a run-off election.
*Pope Francis is on a formal Papal visit to Africa, urging everyone who will listen to heed the words of peace and turn away from violence; amongst other messages.
*Russian President Vladimir Putin has offered to start coordinating attacks against Middle Eastern terrorists with other countries, but warns that the recent actions of Turkey may jeopardize Russia's service. Meanwhile, Turkey says it has a right to defend itself, but has exercised restraint in past incidents, citing that the recent downing of a Russian SU-24 warplane was the result of a border dispute and not an aggressive act against an ally.
*The Ukraine has banned all Russian aircraft from its airspace. Meanwhile, Russia has stopped all natural gas supplies to the Ukraine, saying that country must now pay in advance for any purchases.
*The United Kingdom is considering the possibility of leaving the European Union, but the matter will not receive a formal vote of its citizens until 2017.


While there were thankfully no new/major acts of terrorism reported this past week, such violence MUST come to an end!



PASSING PARADE...
*Former South Korean President (1993-1998) Kim Young-sam is no longer with us.
*Arthur Brooks of the musical Impressions has passed away.
*Cynthia Robinson of Sly and the Family Stone is no longer with us.
*Novelist Hazel Holt (the Sheila Malory series) has passed away.
*Hazel Adair (co-creator of the long running British soap opera Crossroads) is no longer with us.
*Actor David Canary (Bonanza, All My Children) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Author Dan Fante (Chump Change, Mooch) has passed away.
*Film producer Elmo Williams (High Noon, The Longest Day; Tora, Tora, Tora) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*The United States has issued a higher alert status to citizens traveling to foreign destinations after recent ISIS/ISIL activities.
*After many states with Republican Governors announced they refuse to accept refugees from terrorism in the Middle East, the American Civil Liberties Union is now challenging their position, for only the President can officially deny foreign refugees safe harbor in America.
*Meanwhile, Texas Governor George Abbott has requested non-profit organizations based in his state to stop helping Middle Eastern refugees.
*President Barack Obama has ordered a formal inquiry to see if reports concerning American military encounters against ISIS/ISIL forces were altered to present a more positive spin.
*The Center for Disease Control reports that, due to constant public health budget cuts over the past two decades, sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise in 15-24 year olds.
*An anonymous donor has given $2.2 MILLION dollars to help reduce the national debt!
ELSEWHERE...
*A gunman opened fire within a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado; killing at least five people, including police officers, while injuring several others. The reason(s) why remain unknown at this time.
*Turing Pharmaceuticals has only dropped the $750 per pill price of Daraprim (a parasite infection treatment) to hospitals, NOT the general public!
*The 2015 US Presidential Medal of Honor recipients are (alphabetically) Yogi Berra, Bonnie Carroll, Shirley Chisholm, Gloria and Emilo Estefan, Billy Frank, Junior; Lee H. Hamilton, Katherine Johnson, Willie Mays, Barbara Mikulski, Itzhak Perlman, William Ruckelshaus, Stephen Sondheim, Steven Spielberg, Barbra Streisand, James Taylor, and Minoru Yasui.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen, or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: NOVEMBER 28, 2015

FUN FACT
111, 111, 111 multiplied by 111, 111, 111 = 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321!

Being traditionalists, our Christmas themed puzzles will not begin until December. But let's enjoy these enigmas in the meantime.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
Who was the very first celebrity guest on Sesame Street?
(Hint: the program debuted in 1969)

TRIVIA TIME
What is Dora the Explorer's actual last name?

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the November 21, 2015 Puzzle Corner.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you form out of the letters in the word THANKSGIVING?

A, aging, ah, akin, an, angst, as, at
Gag(s), gain(s), giant(s), gas, gat(s) <old 1930's slang for guns>, gig(s), gin(s), gist, git(s) <Hillbilly slang for scram/get>, giving
Hag(s), haggis <a Scottish delicacy>, hang(s), has, hat(s), having, hi <short form of "hello">, hiking, hint(s), hit(s)
I,  ink(s), in(s), inn(s), is, it, its
Kin, king(s), kit(s), knight(s), knit(s)
Nag(s), nigh, night(s)
Sag, saint, sank, sat, saving, shag <a type of carpeting>, sight, sighting, sign, signing, sink, sinking, sin, shin, shining, sit, skin, skit, snag, snit, stag, staging, stain, staining, stank, sting, stinging, stink, stinking
Tag(s), tan(s), tank(s), than, thank(s), thin(s), thing(s), think(s), this, tin
Vain, vat(s), visit, Viking(s), (AND) vista.

Other words besides the 117 above might be possible. But IV (the medical term) didn’t count because it’s an abbreviation. The Roman numerals II and IV are debatable, but the cuss word for human waste was not listed since this is a family oriented E-zine.

TRIVIA TIME
If April Showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Friday, November 27, 2015

THE 2015 HOLIDAY SEASON

The following is an editorial.

Dear Free Choice E-zine Readers:

I gave serious thought to posting this last night, but didn't want to interrupt the festive time I was having with family and friends during Thanksgiving.

There is a seriously growing trend in this world. Perhaps it's more noticeable here in America than other countries, but it makes me wonder about the future of humanity.

For better or worse though, I am not talking about the increasing violence of terrorism, but those who would senselessly murder innocent victims just to express some political or religious belief do need to be stopped before they can harm anyone else.

Instead, I would like to discuss the ever increasing retail industry.

It used to be that the only people who ever worked over the Thanksgiving holiday were within either law enforcement, emergency services (fire fighters and hospitals), or the military, helping to keep the country and its citizens safe.

Now, whether you're an employee stuck working or a

potential customer who has been lured by the promise of possible savings; many families cannot spend the Thanksgiving holiday together the way they used to, because a lot of stores are now opening as early as 6 pm Thanksgiving night to begin Black Friday sales promotions and start the Christmas retail season, provided they even bothered to close Wednesday night.

This year, some retail businesses went out of their way to advertise that they would be CLOSED on Thanksgiving Day, so their employees could be with their families, and those companies I personally applaud.

Yet, please do not misunderstand my opinion, for I am not anti-business per se. But once upon a time many companies did care about their employees and customers just as much, if not more, than their bottom line. Nowadays, it has gotten to the point where some corporate entities are considered "people", with an ever growing influence upon lawmakers at all levels of government.

THAT IS NOT RIGHT!

I hope I'm not the proverbial lone voice in the wilderness that no one will heed.

Granted, I am just one man expressing an honest opinion within a public forum.

And yet, if there are enough people in the world who happen to feel the same way I do, then perhaps someday we can go back to the more traditional Thanksgiving Day celebration of gathering with family and friends without having to worry about planning the event around everyone's work schedules and whether or not we'll be late and unable to obtain some arbitrary "bargain".

Sincerely,
Lee Houston, Junior
Editor-In-Chief: The Free Choice E-zine
November 27, 2015

The above was an editorial.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

SUNDAY FUNNIES: FOR THE BIRDS (bird jokes for Thanksgiving)

"I'm not eating anyone I know!"
"NO BONES!"
Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Waxy Dragon AND Autumn the Puppy here. Since Thursday is Thanksgiving in America, we're teaming up to tell bird jokes. After all, there are already plenty of turkey jokes, especially in politics.

They didn't want us because we'd double bill them!
What is is called when it rains roosters, ducks, turkey's, and doves?
Fowl weather.

How do Baby birds learn to fly?
They just wing it.

What do you get when you put five ducks in a carton?
A box of quackers.

What is an Owl's favorite mystery?
A Whoooo-done'it.

A well balanced act.
Two vultures were in the desert eating a dead clown. The first vulture says to the other, "Does this taste funny?

Why did the flamingo stand on one leg?
If he lifted the other leg, he'd fall.

Show me an owl with laryngitis, and I'll show you a bird that doesn't give a hoot.

What should you say when someone throws a duck at you?
"Duck"
What should you say when someone throws a duck at a duck?
"Duck, Duck."
What do you say when someone throws a goose at a duck?
"Duck, Duck! Goose!"

How many penguins does it take to fly and airplane?
None! Penguins cannot fly.
"Just passing through."

Why do birds fly South for the winter?
Because it is too far to walk.

What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.

What kind of bird does construction work?
The crane.

What does an educated owl say?
"Whom."

Which bird is always out of breath?
The Puffin.

Where do birds invest their money?
In the stork market.

What do ducks like most on television?
Duckumentaries.

Okay folks. We cannot close this post without presenting what has to be the ULTIMATE turkey joke. Therefore we give you, courtesy of YouTube, edited highlights from the classic WKRP In Cincinnati episode: "Turkeys Away!"



Now then, have a great week everybody!
Please remember that you're supposed to be thankful for what you have in live not only this Thursday, but all year round, and don't let the pushiness of the retail industry bring you down this holiday season.
Otherwise, don't forget to be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon!


WKRP In Cincinnati is presumably still (C) by MTM Productions. The staff and management of The Free Choice E-zine are unaware if sharing this video (which we didn't create or post on YouTube to begin with) violates any copyrights. We're just great fans of the show and really miss WKRP.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 15-21, 2015

IT'S WORLD HELLO DAY! SAY "HI" TO SOMEONE.
IT'S ARMED FORCES DAY IN BANGLADESH.
TOY STORY, THE FIRST COMPLETELY CGI FILM, CELEBRATES ITS 20th ANNIVERSARY NOVEMBER 22nd.
NOVEMBER 22nd IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN LEBANON.
NOVEMBER MARKS THE 20th ANNIVERSARY OF
STONE SOUP BY JAN ELIOT AND THE 30th ANNIVERSARY OF
CALVIN & HOBBES BY BILL WATTERSON.
THURSDAY IS THANKSGIVING IN SOME PARTS OF THE WORLD.

THE LATEST CONCERNING PARIS & BEIRUT...
*After The Free Choice E-zine posted our November 14 Week in Review, it was learned that similar, coordinated attacks occurred in Beirut after those in Paris, leaving 44 known dead and many more injured. ISIS/ISIL forces have claimed responsibility for these attacks too.
*While authorities are still investigating the Beirut incidents, it is feared not all those responsible have been dealt with yet.
*Meanwhile, the Parisian death toll stands at 132, with 90 critically injured innocent victims still scattered around Paris hospitals.
*French authorities have identified the remains of some of the attackers, while are still pursuing many of the behind the scenes supporters that helped in those terrible incidents.
*France has announced their current "state of emergency" will now last until the end of February 2016.

ELSEWHERE ACROSS THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*Brussels is now fearful of a potential ISIS/ISIL onslaught.
*The G-20 summit was held this past week. Among the topics discussed were world economy and combating terrorism.
*The hacktivist group Anonymous has vowed to go after ISIS/ISIL in the wake of recent events, claiming the deletion of 2000 pro-terrorist Twitter accounts and some covert donation sites on the "dark web".
*During the recent Asian-Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit in Manila, China refused to discuss the artificial islands they have been erecting in the South China Sea.
*Tropical Pacific water temperatures are RISING!
*North and South Korea have agreed to hold a joint conference next week to discuss their differences.

OTHER TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*Nineteen people were killed by masked gunmen during a hostage situation at the Radisson Blu Hotel in Bamako, Mali.
*ISIS/ISIL has formally claimed responsibility for the bombing of Metrojet Flight 9268, although current investigations have yet to officially identify the bomb used.
*A bomb in Yola, Nigeria has killed at least 32 and wounded 80+ innocent victims.
*Whether or not there are actual plans afoot to do so, ISIS/ISIL forces have vowed to commit new terrorist attacks on American soil.

PASSING PARADE...
*Singer/songwriter P. F. Sloan ("Eve of Destruction", "Secret Agent Man") is no longer with us.
*Actress Moira Orfei (Scent of a Woman) has taken her last bow on life's stage.
*Actor Saeed Jaffrey (The Man Who Would Be King) has passed away.
*Film producer Michael C. Gross (Ghostbusters 1, Heavy Metal 1, Beethoven 1) is no longer with us.
*Bluegrass musician Ramona Jones (widow of Bluegrass musician "Grandpa" Jones) has passed away.
*Former Olympic athlete and member of the Tuskegee Airmen Mal Whitfield is no longer with us.
*Game show emcee Jim Perry (Card Sharks, Sale of the Century) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
Capitol Hill
*After many Republican governors announced that their states would not accept Middle Eastern refugees (which is technically illegal, since only the President of the United States can decide whether or not America will accept foreign refugees) the House of Representatives has passed stricter immigration regulations and formally voted to suspend the President's offer to accept 10,000 Middle Eastern refugees! The Senate is expected to do the same after Congress returns from their Thanksgiving recess.
President Barack Obama
*President Barack Obama has since announced that while he will agree to any national security based changes, America "does not have any religious tests to our compassion," and will veto any attempt to prevent America from helping in the current world refugee crisis.
*Meanwhile, after attending the G-20 Summit, President Obama went to the Asian-Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit in Manila, where he formally requested China to stop erecting artificial islands in the South China Sea. Otherwise, the APEC Summit's agenda mirrored that of the G-20's.
*The Obama Administration and the US Treasury Department have vowed to stop inversion tactics by US based companies uniting with foreign companies to avoid paying American based taxes.
*Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has officially dropped out of the still crowded race for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination. Ben Carson is still the current front runner, with Donald Trump second.
ELSEWHERE...
*Jared Fogle has been sentenced to 15+ years in prison after pleading guilty to various charges involving child pornography and illegal sexual relations with minors.
*Carly Simon has ended decades of public speculation and officially confirmed that only the SECOND verse of "You're So Vain" is about Warren Beatty. She remains silent on who (if anybody) inspired the other verses of the song.
*Although a now ex-employee was ordered to clean the parking lot, it turns out Wal*Mart considers any found recyclables "company assets".
*Michael Middleton is the new interim President of the University of Missouri system.
*David "Big Papi" Ortiz of the Boston Red Sox has announced that the 2016 season of Major League Baseball will be his last.
*The Tampa Bay Times has compiled a list of the 25 "worst" charities in America.
*While science fiction fans are excited that CBS/Paramount has announced a NEW Star Trek series for the 2016-2017 season, it will only be available on the network's subscription service website.
*E! has announced The Soup will end after 22 seasons.
*Ellen DeGeneres' talk show recently celebrated its 2000th episode.
*Actor Charlie Sheen has publicly revealed that he has HIV.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: NOVEMBER 21, 2015

FUN FACT
Founding father Benjamin Franklin originally lobbied for the turkey to be America's national bird.

Thanksgiving is approaching, so let's serve up some holiday themed games.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you form out of the letters in the word THANKSGIVING?

TRIVIA TIME
Here's what should be an easy one for everybody.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results of the November 14, 2015 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
During a game, how many players are allowed on a NBA basketball court?

Ten, five for each competing team. The rest sit off court.

COMMON BONDS
The items within each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?

01. {Peter Graves, James Arness} = Were acting brothers
02. {Crystal Gayle, Loretta Lynn} = Are singing sisters

Sunday, November 15, 2015

SUNDAY FUNNIES: IT'S PUNDAY! (misc. puns)

Punny funny
Hello Everybody!
Waxy Dragon winging her way to you with some fabulous (and hopefully funny) puns!

Ready?

The other day I held the door open for a clown.
It was a nice jester.


Pasteurize: Too far to see.


A broken pencil is pointless.

Is stealing someone's coffee mugging?

I once tried to catch some fog but mist.

Be kind to dentists! They have fillings too.

Remember: no matter how far you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

Whoever invented "Knock Knock" jokes should get the No-Bell Prize.

I know a man who thought about being a banker, but then lost interest.

While he would never do such a thing, if the Energizer Bunny was ever arrested for beating somebody up, would he be charged with battery?

I put my grandma on speed dial.
I call it Insta-gram.

And at any given time, is the urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight just
a whim away
a whim away
a whim away?



And on that note, have a great week everybody. Take care, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

Tokens reunion video courtesy of YouTube/google.


Saturday, November 14, 2015

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 8-14, 2015

TODAY IS WORLD DIABETES AWARENESS DAY.
THIS IS CHILDREN'S DAY IN INDIA.
CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST CELEBRATES HIS 70th ANNIVERSARY NOVEMBER 16th.
THE MAN OF LA MANCHA DEBUTED ON BROADWAY
NOVEMBER 22, 1965.


LATEST FROM PARIS, FRANCE
*Multiple attacks occurred simultaneously on several Parisian night spots in a coordinated effort.
*A hostage situation arose at the "Eagles of Death Metal" concert held at the Bataclan Theatre, resulting in over 80 deaths!
*The death toll from Friday night currently stands at 130 innocent victims, with some known tourists still unaccounted for.
*There are well over 300 people injured and being treated at various Parisian medical facilities. Some unfortunately are in critical condition at this time, so sadly, the death toll might grow.
*French authorities believe that all the suspected attackers were killed while either fighting the police or trying to flee. However, they are still searching for any "background supporters" who helped plan the massacres but didn't take part in the actual attacks.
*French President Francois Hollande, who has now canceled attending the upcoming G20 Summit; has declared a state of emergency, and such famous landmarks as the Eiffel Tower are now closed indefinitely. Other concerts and events have since been canceled, citing safety concerns.
*ISIS/ISIL forces have since declared responsibility for the Parisian attacks!

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*As more refugees continue to flee the Middle East, some European countries have started closing their borders again while they try to figure out how to deal with the situation.
*Myanmar elections have resulted in the first democracy officially voted into power since 1962.
*After a lengthy investigation, the International Association of Athletics Federation has suggested that Russian athletes should be temporarily suspended from completing in world events following doping allegations; with five others and some coaching staff facing possible lifetime bans.
*Russia has since announced that there are no plans to boycott the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio and will deal with their personnel internally.
*Lufthansa Airlines was forced to suspend over 900 flights this week due to a cabin crew strike, leaving thousands of passengers in need of alternate travel means.
*An investigation by a Canadian news team has uncovered the fact that some grocery store employees are taught how to tamper with "Best Before" selling dates.
*Scientists have predicted that climate change could be responsible for a huge increase in the world's poverty level by 2030, due to an increase failure in farmers being able to produce crops.
*Meanwhile, it has been confirmed that green house gas levels have reached their highest known level as of 2014, but are still rising.
*Thermal anomalies have been discovered in the Pyramids of Giza. An explanation for the phenomenon has not been officially determined yet.
*Preparations and precautions (since it might be booby-trapped) are underway to investigate the suspected sight of a lost "Nazi gold train" in Poland.
*A guitar once owned by John Lennon has sold for over $2.5 million US dollars.

OTHER TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*Two Boko Haram suicide bombers killed three people near Lake Chad.
*Unidentified gunmen opened fire in a Bujumbra, Burundi bar; killing nine people.
*The Syrian Army stopped an attempt by ISIS/ISIL forces to seize control of the Kweires Airbase.
*Two separate suicide bombing attacks have left a total of 43 people dead in Lebanon.
*Someone attacked three separate commercial aircraft with a laser as they were about to land at Dallas, Texas' Love Field.
*There is still no official determination at this time whose bomb destroyed Metrojet Flight 9268.

PASSING PARADE...
*The victims of the cowardly attacks on civilians in Paris, France November 13th.
*Famous session drummer Andy White (too many credits to mention) has passed away.
*Actor Nathaniel Marston (One Life To Live) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Songwriter Allan Toussaint ("Working In A Coal Mine", "Southern Nights") is no longer with us.
*Helmut Schmidt, Chancellor of Germany from 1974-1982, has passed away.
*Actor Warren Mitchell (Till Death Do Us Part, Death of a Salesman) has taken his last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*An appeal against President Barack Obama's Executive Order on immigration has been granted in New Orleans for illegal immigrants who entered the country as children with their parents, thus giving them at least temporary protection from possible deportation.
*While the legality and constitutionality of The National Security Agency's bulk collection of phone information is being debated in Federal court, the agency has promised to reform the policy soon.
*An upcoming new Showtime documentary, The Spy Masters, claims that then President George W. Bush was first warned in JULY and not August 2001 of a potential attack against the United States that became September 11, 2001.
*While Ben Carson is still the GOP front runner of the moment for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination, he has questioned the policy of journalistic fact checking, especially when in concerns background details about his life.
*Meanwhile, Donald Trump hosted the November 7, 2015 episode of Saturday Night Live, the first GOP candidate to do so.
*Despite the fact that there have been several Republican debates (to date), a quick fact check of the transcripts reveals that not one single candidate has yet to discuss ending voter suppression, closing the income/class gap, or ensuring paid family leave. Yet they have discussed additional tax cuts for the rich and claim that raising the national minimum wage rate would be "a disaster".
ELSEWHERE...
*After the University of Missouri football team joined protesting students in calling for the dismissal of University President Tim Wolfe over racial tensions on campus; Wolfe has since announced his impending resignation, due to take effect at the winter break in a few weeks.
*A Utah judge ordered a foster baby taken away from a same gender couple, prompting outcries from even the Republican Utah state Governor Gary Herbert on the matter. The judge has since reversed his decision.
*You can add Staples to the growing list of retailers who have announced that they WILL be closed on Thanksgiving to preserve the holiday for their employees!

*Besides a cost of living salary raise, Wal-mart workers are now hoping the company will finally extend employees' 10% discounts to food.

*General Mills is facing a potential lawsuit over alleged false claims concerning their new Protein Cheerios.

*New York has ordered the online sites Draft Kings and Fan Duel to stop operating in that state, because they violate illegal gambling rules.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: NOVEMBER 14, 2015

FUN FACT
Oysters can switch genders as the need arises!

TRIVIA TIME
During a game, how many players are on a NBA basketball court?

COMMON BONDS
The items within each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?

01. {Peter Graves, James Arness}
02. {Crystal Gayle, Loretta Lynn}

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results of the November 7, 2015 Puzzle Corner.

NEXT?
The start of a specific sequence is below. Can you fill in the blank with the next item?
10:01, 11:11, 12:21, 13:31, 14:41, 15:51, ???

The clue was the colon : to indicate that the list is actually palindromic times on a twenty-four hour digital clock.
Considering there is only 60 minutes in an hour, the next item on the list would be 20:02, followed by 21:12, 22:22, 23:32, 00:00, 01:10, 02:20, 03:30, 04:40 and 05:50. Any time reading after that would not be a palindrome until you reached 10:01 again.

AKA (Also Known As)
Marvin Lee Aday is better known as what famous celebrity name?

Meatloaf (Paradise By the Dashboard Lights, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad, etc.)

Sunday, November 8, 2015

SUNDAY FUNNIES: BARKING WORDS OF WISDOM (misc. jokes)

One smart puppy!
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
To quote the Starks from the A Song of Ice And Fire saga by George R. R. Martin (the correct name for the book series that begins with A Game of Thrones), "Winter is coming."

Of course, if you're a bear, you hibernate. But personally, I consider that a huge waste of time. After all, you'll be sleeping through all the major holidays until Spring and missing out on all that great holiday food cheer.

But since a lot of time it will be too cold to be outside unless absolutely necessary (after all, for some reason, my human caretakers have yet to explain the mysteries of how to use that porcelain "throne" in their bathroom to me yet), that's when I do a lot of my reading and Internet surfing, and oh boy! The stuff I learn...

Did you know it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally?

Never regret growing old. It sure beats the alternative!

Conjunctivitis.com.... now there a site for sore eyes.

Despite some people's thoughts on the subject, calories are NOT creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
They are little creatures that invade your body the more you eat and make room for the future invading hordes!

Has anyone ever actually figured out what Victoria's secret is? She must be doing something right to have stayed in business for so long selling such skimpy outfits, but I haven't figured it out yet.
After all, what's the attraction of seeing a human female barely wearing anything at all, or have I just answered my own question?
Of course, it's estimated that 69% of the world's population see sexual references in everything.
Then again, I thought that number would be much higher.

You know it's going to be one of those days when the voices in your head start arguing before breakfast, your imaginary friend runs around the house with scissors and at some point, one of your multiple personalities wanders off looking for better accommodations!

Brains are awesome! I wish everybody had one. Or at least used theirs.
On that note. Have a great week everybody, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.