Sunday, February 25, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DOGGED COMEDY

Hello Everybody! Koda Canine here!
As you can see, I'm just kicking back and relaxing on a lazy Sunday afternoon, as long as none of my people know that I'm actually on the couch. But I should be good for the moment since they're all either upstairs or away while I tell some jokes. Ready?

How come in fairy tales, women are always kissing frogs๐Ÿธ looking for a prince in disguise?
Why not a fish?๐ŸŸ
Or a dog?๐Ÿถ
Or even a dragon?๐Ÿฒ
And regardless of what they kiss, even if it does turn into a handsome prince, are they sure they have the catch of the day?

How do you catch a unique rabbit?๐Ÿฐ
Unique up on it. 
How do you catch a tame rabbit?๐Ÿ‡
The tame way.

Did you hear about the little kid who took his crayons to the doctor's office?
His parents told him they wanted to draw some blood.

Has anyone read How To Make The Most Out Of Your Basement?
I hear it's a best cellar.

What do you call fake potatoes?๐Ÿฅ”๐Ÿฅ”
Imitators. 

I watched a documentary on clocks.๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•‘๐Ÿ•’
It was about time.

If you hear weird noises in the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance over whatever might be out there.
After all, why do you think sometimes cats meow and dogs bark when everyone else is asleep?

Don’t bother those working intently on a puzzle or you’ll hear some crosswords.

When you think about how huge the Earth๐ŸŒŽ is, and how the Earth is just a tiny ball orbiting the Sun๐ŸŒž which is, in turn, a minuscule speck in the universe... it is pretty easy for me to rationalize eating my entire bowl of dog food and asking for more.

Oops! I hear someone coming down the stairs so I better get off the couch now before they see me but remember: whatever life throws at you, DUCK!
Let it hit someone else.
So on that note♫, have a good week. Take care.
STAY SAFE! ๐Ÿ˜ท
And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!KC.

Saturday, February 24, 2024

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: FEBRUARY 18-24, 2024: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

 
WE NEED
MORE GUN RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

BAN BOOK BANS AND BURNINGS! 


WEAR YOUR MASK๐Ÿ˜ท WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

FEBRUARY IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
FEBRUARY 24 IS ESTONIA'S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
FEBRUARY 29 IS LEAP YEAR AND SUPERMAN’S KRYPTONIAN BIRTH DATE, TRANSLATED TO EARTH BASED CALENDARS.
MARCH 1 IS THE 160TH ANNIVERSARY OF REBECCA LEE BECOMING
THE FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN TO RECEIVE
A MEDICAL DEGREE IN THE UNITED STATES.

AM๐Ÿ˜ทNGST EVENTS AROUND THE W๐ŸŒRLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The COVID state of the world, as of February 24, 2024.
*M(onkey) Pox is not currently considered a global threat. 

*There are 4/FOUR separate links in the header above.
*"Israeli settlements are inconsistent with international law.”—United States Secretary of State Antony Blinken.

THE RUSSIAN REPORT...
*Is Russian President Vladimir Putin's Collective Security Treaty Organization (CSTO) falling apart???

*Speculation: Regardless of the outcome, can Russia recover from invading the Ukraine???


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

๐ŸŒTHE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…

๐ŸŒ SPACE NEWS…

๐Ÿ˜ขPASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost to war.
*Neuroscientist and 1977 Nobel Prize winner Roger Guillemin is no longer with us.
*Actor Stuart Organ (much TV, film and stage work over a long career) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Former professional football๐Ÿˆ player and Super Bowl 12 winner Golden Richards is no longer with us.
*Animation sculptor Kent Melton (Hanna-Barbera, Warner Brothers, Disney) has passed away.
*Actor Paul D'Amato (Slap Shot, The Deer Hunter, Heaven's Gate, more) has taken his last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*Speculation: What lies ahead for Republicans??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and moral, then it is not a political party. It is merely a conspiracy to seize power.”—Former Republican President and retired General Dwight D. Eisenhower.
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*Speculation: So what next for Republicans and the rest of the country??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
๐Ÿ˜ทTHE US VERSUS COVID-19…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Will a formal Senate impeachment trial for Homeland Security Director Mayorkas be a condition of avoiding another potential government shutdown???
*Opinion: Can Texas Senator Ted Cruz win reelection??? Maybe not. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ON THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES TRYING TO IMPEACH PRESIDENT BIDEN...
*Turns out one "witness" is a Russian mole wanted by the FBI! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*“It was just for services.”—Trump on his businesses receiving money from foreign governments while he was President.
ELSEWHERE…
*Why was there no cellphone service February 22??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
๐Ÿ˜€AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 24, 2024

 ๐Ÿ˜ŽFUN FACT
If a year is divisible by 100 and not 400, then it isn’t a leap year like those every four years. 2100 will NOT be a leap year.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you make out of the letters in LEAP YEAR?

REBUS
Something familiar is represented by the image below. Do you know what it is?
STAYED
THINGS

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX๐Ÿ“ฆ and discover the results from the February 17 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
๐Ÿฅ‡
Who invented the first artificial heart๐Ÿ’–?
Voice actor Paul “Tigger” Winchell and Doctor Henry Heimlich of the Heimlich maneuver!

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
A grandfather, a father, a son and a grandson each wanted a sandwich for lunch. How many did they fix?
Only 3! The grandfather’s son is the father. The father’s son is the grandson.

Sunday, February 18, 2024

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WE'RE BACK!

Piper D. Katt
 Hello Everybody!
Koda Canine

Today you have both Piper D. Katt AND Koda Canine here as we celebrate our triumphant return!

Return from where?

From being stuck offline for awhile until a new computer could be acquired to get the Free Choice E-zine back up and running again.

Oh. I was with my people in their house the whole time.

Me too. But it’s been over a month and I’m itching to tell some jokes. Ready?

YOU BET! But if that itch is because of a flea problem...
Koda!

Do you know how to make a motherboard?
Talk about something that don’t matter.

When insects threaten your town, do the police call out a SWAT team?
Questions in search of answers.

Would a veterinarian who also offers their patients chiropractic services be an animal cracker?
I'm not sure, but considering where Vets like sticking that dang thermometer, I'm not going to find out!

Is the patron saint of copying people on E-mail Saint Francis of a CC?

Would a concert featuring Fifty Cent and Nickel Back only cost 45 cents to attend?

Do electricians stay up on current events?

Is there a movie that is so bad that people walk out of it in the middle of their flight?
There might have been in the past, but do airlines๐Ÿ›ฌ๐Ÿ›ซ even still show movies any more?

How come “Super Stores” don’t wear capes?

Did Jim Morrison and The Doors ever have an opening act called Hinges?

Did you know that Coy fish travel in packs of four for safety.
Really?
Yes. That way Fish A Coy, B Coy and C Coy can escape while any predator goes after the D Coy.
So which one is the real McCoy?
Check with the Star Trek franchise.

So I means Me. One person, and Us means at least two people.
Yes Koda.
Yet CactUS means one plant and cactI means more than one.
I don’t get it either Koda, but I do know those are cats you DON’T want to pet!
I’m not that stupid Piper. Although I’m still trying to figure out why round pizzas are packed in square boxes.
I haven’t figured that one out yet either but remember, when shredding cheese: with grate power comes grate responsibility. 

So on that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE!๐Ÿ˜ท
Have a great week and one of us will be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!PDK and KC.

Saturday, February 17, 2024

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: FEBRUARY 11-17, 2024: NEWS HIGHLIGHTS

๐Ÿ˜€ HAPPILY WE'RE BACK TO SERVE YOU ONCE AGAIN!๐Ÿ˜ƒ

WE NEED
MORE GUN RESPONSIBILITY
NOW! 

ALL INEQUALITY HAS TO STOP!

WEAR YOUR MASK๐Ÿ˜ท WHEN NECESSARY
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

FEBRUARY IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
FEBRUARY 17 IS KOSOVO’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
FEBRUARY 24 IS ESTONIA’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
FEBRUARY 29 IS LEAP YEAR, AND SUPERMAN’S KRYPTONIAN BIRTH DATE, TRANSLATED TO EARTH BASED CALENDARS.

AM๐Ÿ˜ทNGST EVENTS AROUND THE W๐ŸŒRLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Russia has declared some Western leaders “wanted”. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*American Vice President Kamala Harris is in Europe and has met with Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and Germany's Chancellor Olaf Scholz. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The COVID state of the world, as of February 17, 2024.
*M(onkey) Pox is not currently considered a global threat.

*There are 4/FOUR separate links in the header above.

*Unfortunately Avdiivka has fallen.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

๐ŸŒTHE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…
*Trinidad and Tobago are fighting an oil spill, but who owns the source??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

๐ŸŒ SPACE NEWS...
*Will Russia put nuclear weapons in outer space??? Other countries are concerned. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

๐Ÿ˜ขPASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost to war.
*Alexei Navalny, noted critic of Russian President Vladimir Putin, has mysteriously died in prison.
*William Post, inventor of the Pop Tart, is no longer with us.
*International cartoonist Enrique Badรญa Romero (Modesty Blaise, AXA, more more) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
*“January 6 DID happen!”—Brian J. Karem.
POLITICALLY…
*American Vice President Kamala Harris is in Europe and has met with Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and Germany's Chancellor Olaf Scholz. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Former Presidents debate. Barack Obama versus Donald Trump on NATO. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*February 19 is President’s Day.
*February 22 marks the 100th anniversary of Calvin Coolidge being the first President to speak on radio.
THE SUPREME COURT REPORT…
*Trump is hoping the Court rules favorably on his immunity status. No word on when a decision will be announced yet.
๐Ÿ˜ทTHE US VERSUS COVID-19…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
*Trump and the United States Constitution. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The truth about red heads.๐Ÿฆฐ
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Tennessee House of Representatives member Mark Green has announced him impending retirement.
TRUMP’S TRIAL(S)…
*Will Trump gain access to even more documents???  He has to at least one, so far. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*The Kansas City Chiefs won Super Bowl 58๐Ÿˆ 25 to 22 against the San Diego 49ers in overtime.
*We were offline for so long, Blogger changed emoticons on us!
๐Ÿ˜€AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…


THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 17, 2024

 ๐Ÿ˜ŽFUN FACT
February 29 is Leap Year and Superman’s Kryptonian Birth Date, translated to Earth based calendars.

FAMOUS FIRSTS๐Ÿฅ‡
Who invented the first artificial heart๐Ÿ’—?

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
A grandfather, a father, a son and a grandson each wanted a sandwich for lunch. How many did they fix?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX๐Ÿ“ฆ and discover the very belated results from the December 23, 2023 Puzzle Corner because of our unfortunate computer crash.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE or FALSE: the Christmas song ♫I Want A Hippopotamus๐Ÿฆ› For Christmas♫ was recorded as a fund raiser for a local zoo.
FALSE, although a local radio station did donate a baby hippo to the Oklahoma City Zoo the following year since singer Gayla Peevey lived there.

TRIVIA TIME
With everything that has been on TV this holiday season, only 3 specials have the unique distinction of being aired EVERY year since their debut! Can you identify this trio? 
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer ๐ŸฆŒsince 1964, the Chuck Jones animated version of Doctor Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas since 1966 and Frosty the Snowman⛄ since 1969. Until the entire Peanuts’ collection went exclusive to streaming on Apple TV in 2021, A Charlie Brown Christmas had been in the running since 1965.

Monday, February 12, 2024

We're FINALLY Back!

 Computers are wonderful things.
Until they break down and become nothing more than oversize, useless paper weights.

Thankfully we had the foresight to set the timer on our CHRISTMAS DAY and BOXING DAY/KWANZAA posts back in December so the time could be taken to enjoy the holidays with our friends and loved ones, but The Free Choice E-zine was without a working computer to call our own since December 26, 2023.
We missed so much while away, including our 2023 IN MEMORIUM, our 2024 LOOK AHEAD; our annual spotlight of MARTIN LUTHER KING, JUNIOR DAY and the GROUNDHOG'S DAY routine; let alone our weekly features.
We were gone for so long, Blogger changed emoticon styles on us! ๐Ÿคฏ

As previously stated, this establishment runs on a shoe string budget at best—when we can afford to buy the laces๐Ÿ˜‰—and the bulk of The Free Choice E-zine's staff is me, myself and I.
But the dry spell is FINALLY over as we celebrate having a new computer up and running.๐Ÿ˜€๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅณ

THE PUZZLE CORNER, with the answers from the last posted, and THE WEEK IN REVIEW will return this Saturday, February 17.
THE SUNDAY FUNNIES will resume the next day, February 18, and hopefully nothing untoward will happen to either us or our equipment ever again. ๐Ÿคž

Lee Houston, Junior
Editor-In-Chief: The Free Choice E-zine
12 February, 2024