Tuesday, April 27, 2010


An editorial.

While surfing online, I discovered an article written by Steven Conn about how a group of Congressional Republicans, led by House of Representatives member Patrick McHenry of North Carolina, want to replace the portrait of United States President Ulysses S. Grant on the fifty dollar bill with a portrait of more recent President Ronald Reagan.
The article goes on to give a brief overview of the problems the Republican party have been through of late, hence the movement to switch Presidential images on the fifty.
Ulysses S. Grant does have a valid claim to be on American currency. He led the Union forces to victory in the Civil War under President Abraham Lincoln, and then as President himself, oversaw the reconstruction of the Southern states damaged by said war.
The fact that he was a member of the Republican Party, a group that politically sided WITH the Confederacy during that conflict seems to be nothing more than an ironic footnote as history is viewed today.
The case to support putting Ronald Reagan on the fifty instead? Time and whatever perspective history is viewed a generation or two from now will have to decide.
While Grant's profile is far from the first image to ever grace this denomination, it did not first appear until 1913, 28 years after his passing. Reagan left us only six years ago, so I personally think it is too soon to consider another switch

With all the issues facing this country, aren't there more important things to do right now?
Besides the fact that the government should not have to bear the expense of creating new printing plates, to quote Steven Conn: Republicans are probably the only ones who see a fifty on a regular basis.
This is just a feel good measure on the part of the Republicans to present their party in a more favorable light to the current generation.
I'm sure the GOP would be crying foul if suddenly Congressional Democrats suggested replacing Grant with a Democratic President of a more recent vintage like John F. Kennedy.

To read the article for yourself, just click the link below


check any other valid news source, or Google Steven Conn.

Lee Houston, Junior
Editor-In-Chief: The Free Choice E-zine.

Sunday, April 25, 2010


Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
First and foremost, I want to thank my friend Lazlo for pitching in when circumstances beyond my control kept me from being here last weekend. I will repay you the bail money somehow old pal.
Secondly: I WAS FRAMED! I never came within a hare's breath of that Easter Bunny! If he says I broke into his candy factory and tried to take all of next year's chocolate for myself, that bunny is lying through his cotton tail! I looked all over the place and couldn't find so much as an empty wrapper!
And third: I fully intend to sue that hare brained hare for all he's worth! How dare that rabbit put such a small amount of chocolate into such a big basket? Who cares about jelly beans, colored eggs, and stuffed toys when you LOVE chocolate!
Unfortunately, I cannot talk any more about all of that because then my lawyer will get mad at me too.
Anyway, last Thursday was Earth Day-, or in other words: the biggest Mother's Day celebration for the most important mother of all!
Where would we be without clear air, green grass, and clean water?
I'll tell you: NO WHERE!
Nothing would be growing here because this planet would be as dead as the proverbial door nail.
Of course I have yet to meet a live door nail, but I think that's besides the point.
This planet would no longer be capable of supporting life if we don't take care of it.
We would be without all the essentials for life: clear air to breath, clean water to drink, good soil to grow plants in.
And if we lose all of those, then we would have no way to grow more Cacao trees.
And if we lose the Cacao trees, then we would not have the Cacao seeds needed to help make chocolate.
And if this planet no longer has any chocolate...
Okay, while I try to calm down (the thought of no chocolate in the world is REALLY scary), I'll try to tell a few jokes.
Two kids are at the beach.
First Boy: "Are you tan from the sun?"
Second Boy: "No. I'm John from the Earth."
Can a vulcanologist graduate Magma Cum Lade?
Some people are able to tell what time it is by looking at the sun. I've tried, but could never see the numbers.
Now some people talk about leaving this planet to find a new one amongst the stars, but seriously folks: you know how much of a pain it is to move to begin with.
All that packing and trying to get your mail forwarded...
And even if you were amongst the stars, would you ever get any privacy?
All those paparazzi wanting to take pictures every moment of the day.
Besides, they never photograph my good side!
In any event, that's all the space I have for now.
Please come back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies! -wd.

Saturday, April 24, 2010


*Today is World Tai Chi and Qigong Day, two ancient methods of helping to reduce stress and proven to aid in taking care of one's health.
*This week marks the tenth anniversary of the weekly newspaper supplement American Profile.
*Today also marks the 20th anniversary of the Hubble Telescope and its invaluable assistance in understanding the vast universe our planet finds itself amidst.
*This week marked the 40th anniversary of Earth Day, 24 hours set aside to remind everyone of something they should be doing EVERY day: helping to take care of the one true home we all have. -
*The state of Arizona has passed stricter immigration legislation against illegal aliens, but some warn that such measures might lead to racial profiling and international trouble with Mexico. Arizona representatives said the measure was passed due to the inaction of the Federal government on the matter, to which President Barack Obama responded that such matters should be addressed on the national level to be fully effective, and has put that on his agenda, along with the current topics of energy, education, and financial reforms.
*Potential financial reform measures include expanding the powers of the FDIC to include such "non-banks" like AIG and Lehman Brothers, and at least regulating salaries for high level executives, if not initiating an actual salary cap.
*While trapped visitors have been able to leave Iceland, the volcanic ash is still a concern to residents and environmentalists alike.
*The DVD release of Avatar is breaking sales records, including the first day results record previously established by Batman: The Dark Knight.
*In keeping up with the times, Archie Comics has announced the introduction of a new student at Riverdale High: Kevin Keller, for this fall. Keller will be the first openly gay/homosexual character at Riverdale and within the comic book line. Most comic book stores within the "Bible Belt" are threatening to boycott Archie publications! This new development is generating a lot more reaction than when Archie Andrews kissed Valerie Brown of Josie and the Pussycats in a recent issue of the flagship title. Although that inter-racial kiss did not generate the reaction of when Captain Kirk kissed Lt. Uhura on the "Plato's Stepchildren" episode of the original Star Trek. My how times change...

For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your monitor.


Another weekend is upon us, so get those wits sharpened!

Who actually fought in the French and Indian War?

Taking the same four letters, one arrangement spells a lowly memo, another a place of higher education, and a third is an audio term.
What are the four letters and the words?

We'll reveal the results next weekend. But for now, here's the answers to last weekend's enigmas.

Those were the opening lines to Bang-Shang-A-Lang, a 1968 hit for The Archies.

Out of the blue.

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Today is the 40th anniversary of taking a moment to remind everyone of something they should be doing EVERY day: trying their best to help Planet Earth. -
I'm sure you've heard it all before.
This is the only planet we have.
If we don't take care of it, who will?
It's not like we have any place else to go.
Besides, even if we did, would we take care of that planet the same way we did Earth?
That doesn't speak very highly of us.
So please do what you can to help preserve our home.
The current and future generations will thank you. -

A public service message from The Free Choice e-zine.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Hi nice peoples and friendly creatures. My name is Lazlo. I am a dragon too. I'm eggs-sighted to be here! My bestest friend in all the worlds Waxy Dragon said I could share limericks with you.
I wish Waxy could bees here too. But after she ate all her Easter chocolate, she wanted more. Before she left, all Waxy said to me she was going Easter Bunny hunting. I wonder what she meant?
But let's have some fun any ways.
Here's a good limerick:

'Tis a favorite project of mine,
A new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at 3,
For it's simpler, you see,
Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9

I not sure how well that will go over in a math class, but as long as I get a big piece, I don't care what kind of pie they are serving.
Here's another one...

There was a young astronaut named Kite
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She left home one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

Now, I not sure if she got a ticket for speeding, but I hope she got to keep frequent flyer miles.
There once was a fly on the wall
I wonder why didn't it fall
Because its feet stuck
Or was it just luck
Or does gravity miss things so small?

Now I don't know how fly managed to stay on wall either, but it sure was tasty!

The incredible Wizard of Oz
Retired from his business becoz
due to up-to-date science,
To most of his clients,
He wasn't the Wizard he woz.

Don't you hate it when they change your favorite stories. Little Red Riding Hood is now on a motorcycle and the Big Bad Wolf made a killing in real estate.

But anyway, I have to go now. Waxy just called and asked me to bring her something called bail. I did not know she even had a boat. Please come back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!

Saturday, April 17, 2010


*Volcanic activity continues in Iceland. Authorities have grounded all air traffic for at least another 24 hours, which has kept some contestants from arriving in America to compete in the Boston Marathon tomorrow. Local residents remain in shelters away from their homes.
*Meanwhile, scientists are concerned about the health hazards resulting from all that volcanic ash both short and long term; as well as the overall effect the Iceland eruptions might have to the planet, especially in light of the fact that with the melting ice caps and other climate changes, other volcanoes in the region might become active too.
*United States President Barack Obama hosted a summit this week to discuss the state of nuclear arms with other world leaders, especially tactics to keep these dangerous devices out of the hands of terrorists.
*President Obama also announced his plans for the future of NASA this week, including updating the Kennedy Space Center and hoping that man will be orbiting another planet (Mars), if not actually setting foot upon it within his lifetime. No word on the fate of the space shuttle program, which only has three scheduled missions left in its current agenda.
*With Burger King now restarting their attempt at a breakfast (mc)muffin, has anyone noticed that the Subway sandwich shops have now started serving breakfast too?
*The Stinson Seafood Plant closed its doors this week, making sardines no longer a domestically produced product within the United States.
*This week marked the 40th anniversary of the break up of The Beatles.
*The Fox series Human Target had it's season finale this week, while the ABC series Ugly Betty aired its last episode.
*Sci-fi fans are rejoicing that BBC America will start airing the new season of Doctor Who tonight. Check your local listings for time and cable channel.
*John McAllister of Seattle, Washington has set a new world's record score on the arcade version of Asteroids! of 41,338,740 points after 58 hours of play. The old record of 41,336,440 was set by Scott Safran in 1982.
*Phil Mickelson won the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta, Florida.

For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen.


Another weekend, and the weather is not all that good everywhere, so let's stay indoors and tackle these enigmas.

The following is part of a lyric from a song. Do you know the title and artist(s)?

"I recall just walking down the street
Trying to escape the city heat"

A familiar word or phrase is represented by the image below. Do you know what it is?


We'll reveal the solutions next weekend. But for now, let's see what the results from last weekend's Tax Time themed Puzzle Corner were...

Although the current system has been in place and active since 1913, the United States first collected income tax in July 1861. A flat rate of 3% on any incomes $800 and over was collected to help finance the Civil War. If the amount sounds low, remember: minimum wage was FAR less then than it is now!

So, since everyone else in America had to file, what words could you find in the term INCOME TAX?
A: a, ace, acme, acne, act, aim, am, amino, an, ant, at, ate, ax(e)
C: came, can, canoe, cat, cent, come
E: eat, exam, exit
I: I, ice, in, it
M: main, man, mane, me, men, mice, mine, mint
N: name, nice, no, not, note
O: once, one, ox, oxen
T: tame, tan, tea, time, to, ton
X: {couldn't think of any}

More words than the 49 above might be possible.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


In America, today is the deadline for filing your tax returns.
As long as it is done by 11:59.59 tonight, there will be no interests or penalties.

Meanwhile, Tea Partiers and other groups will be rallying to comment upon things; as is their right under the First Amendment under this country's Constitution.

It should be pointed out however, that while said groups are protesting what they perceive to be a higher involvement of the United States government into what they consider private matters, a lot of the events that led to the current status of our domestic economy and other things occurred in a time of deregulation, where banks and others were practically free to do almost anything they wanted to.

And if you think you allegedly pay too much income tax, please note that everyone does. Although his current job pays him a fixed yearly salary, President Barack Obama earned $5.5 million from renewed interest (since he won the election in 2008) in his books: The Audacity of Hope and Dreams From My Father, and paid over $1.8 million in federal income taxes, and over $160,000 in Illinois state income taxes; according to the Associated Press.

More on this and other stories as things develop during this Saturday's WEEK IN REVIEW post.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


Hello Everybody. Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here. Ms. Waxy Dragon and Autumn the Puppy have the weekend off.

Over the pass months as the debates and smear campaigns raged over the issue Health Care Reform, I received many an e-mail from friends, "concerned" and otherwise, wanting to sway my opinion one way or another. Most of it I could never repeat in a public forum, but I thought for this weekend to try a little political humor and present one of the more cleaner missives on the subject.

Hope you enjoy it.

In the beginning, [insert good/positive deity of your faith here] created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the planet with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so every Man, Woman, and Child would live long and healthy lives.
Then using [insert good deity again]'s gifts, [insert good deity's evil opponent here] created ice cream and donuts and said "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" while Woman said, "As long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."
And they gained pounds and [the evil deity] smiled.

Then [the good deity] created the healthy yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. But [the evil deity] brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to 14.

So [the good deity] said, "try my fresh green salad." And [the bad deity] presented salad dressings, butter flavored croutons, and garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

[The good deity] then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
Then [the bad deity] brought forth melted cheeses, deep fried fish, and chicken fried steak so big the platter it rested on needed its own zip code.
And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

[The good deity] then brought forth running shoes so that Man would might lose those unwanted extra pounds. But then [the bad deity] gave Man wide screen TVs with cable and a remote control so no one would have to toil to change a channel.
Then Man, Woman, and Child laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.

Then [the good deity] brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. But then [the bad deity] peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fried them into various flavors.
And the people gained even more pounds.

[The good deity] then brought forth lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his hunger. But then [the bad deity] created hamburgers and fast food joints and asked, "You want fries with that?"
To which the people replied, "Yes, and super size them!"
And then Man went into cardiac arrest.

[The good deity] sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then [the bad deity] created HMOs.

Hopefully there is a laugh or two somewhere in the above.
In any event, we'll be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies.-lh,jr.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


*Poland's President Lech Zaczynski, his wife, and about 130 other people, including the flight crew, have died after their plane crashed in Western Russia after attempting a landing on a fog bound air strip. The group was arriving to attend a national event.
*The April 15th deadline for filing Federal Income Taxes is fast approaching. The Obama administration reminds tax payers that if they are eligible, there are new tax credits available for first time home buyers, college students, those who made energy efficiency improvements to their residences, and other options available.
*The bodies of the four missing West Virgina coal miners were recovered yesterday, ending rescue operations. While investigations into the tragic accident continue, early reports confirm that "the end was relatively peaceful for them".
*Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens has announced his plans to retire, pending President Barack Obama finding his successor. Congressional Republicans have already vowed to block any nominee who's "too liberal" from assuming the bench.
*While Apple's I-PAD is now on the market, Hewlett Packard has announced plans to debut their version of the device, which is supposed to have app(lication)s the other doesn't, and address "problems" the Apple product is supposed to have.
*Duke won the 2010 NCAA Mens College Basketball Tournament while the University of Connecticut won the Womens championship.
*Tiger Woods has returned to professional golf, competing in this weekend's Masters Tournament. However he has already broken one of his promises, being caught cursing over his lousy performance in the third round played earlier today.
*Elizabeth Taylor is allegedly dating again.
*Playboy founder Hugh Heffner is considering getting married once more.
*Actor Meinhardt Raabe, best known as the Munchkin coroner in the 1939 musical version of The Wizard of Oz, has passed away at age 94.

For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen.


It's tax time in the United States, as the filing deadline of April 15th looms for both state and federal income taxes.
So let's hope this weekend's appropriately themed enigmas are not too taxing.

Under the current system, Americans have been paying income tax since 1913. But when was the very first income tax collected in the United States?

Although I hate running the same puzzle type two weeks in a row, what better way to file than to see how many words can be found using the letters in the words INCOME TAX?

Today's results will be revealed next weekend.
Now, here are the solutions to April 3's Easter Weekend Puzzle Corner.

1. Omelet
2. Quiche
3. Eggs Benedict (but not named after Benedict Arnold)
4. Sunny Side Up
5. Caviar (also known as roe, or fish eggs)

In our great EASTER EGG hunt, you could find:
*A, Age(s), Agree(s), Are, Art(s), As, At, Ate
*Eager, Ease, East, Eat(s), Eggs (Egg was part of the search perimeters so it doesn't count), Erase
*Gee, Geese, Grate(s), Grease, Great(s), Greet(s)
*Rag(s), Rage(s), Rat(s), Rate(s), Rest
*Sat, Sea, See, Seer, Set, Seat, Stag, Stagger, Stage, Stare, Steer, Steerage, Star
*Tag(s), Tea(s), Tease, Teaser, Test
Other combinations besides the 56 above might be possible.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


Autumn the Puppy here, and I've dug up some good jokes eggspecially for today.
I don't think these need any eggsplaination.

When the fledglings go off to college, what else does an empty nester face?
A scrambled nest egg!

If a rooster climbs to the top of the barn roof and lays an egg, which way does the egg roll considering that the barn is facing east and the wind is from the north?
Nowhere. Roosters don't lay eggs!

Did you hear about the one sided Easter Egg Hunt?
The person who hid them was the only contestant.

What did the egg say at the monastery during breakfast?
"Oh well, out of the frying pan and into the Friar."

What do evil chickens lay? Deviled eggs.

Did you hear about the farmer who was mad at the fox for getting into his hen house all the time? He fed his chickens gunpowder so the next time the fox tried to steal anything there would be a big eggsplosion!

Do tough chickens come from hard boiled eggs?

If apples, oranges, and other stuff comes from trees, does that mean we get chickens from a poul-tree?

What did the chicken say when it laid a square egg? OUCH!

Well, I think I told enough yolks. I hope everyone enjoys the remainder of their Easter and we'll be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!-AtP.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Happy Easter Weekend Everyone!
This past week saw, amongst other events:
*Now that the Health Care Reform Act has become law, President Barack Obama admitted he urged Congress to take action on the issue not only for the sake of the uninsured, but to prevent America from becoming morally and economically bankrupt.
*Meanwhile, the Obama administration has turned its attention to financial reform to hopefully prevent future instances of potential bank failures and other economic downturns. Congressional Republicans have vowed to fight this measure every step of the way too.
*Some say that due to their recent actions, the Republican Party will suffer, especially in the area of campaign donations; after it was revealed that they had a "fund raiser" at a West Hollywood strip club. Reports state that the employee delegated to make the arrangements for this excursion has been fired, but that so far no action has been taken towards the party executives involved.
*The I-Pad officially goes on sale this weekend.
*The United States Government is urging anyone who used the lead laced Chinese sheet rock to completely replace the suspect pieces. However, no word yet as to who will have to bear the brunt of the replacement expenses.
*Singer Ricky Martin has admitted to being a homosexual.
*Actress Anne Paquin has surprised a lot of people by admitting that she is bi-sexual.
*Jesse James has checked himself into rehab in hopes of eventually getting back together with wife Sandra Bullock.
*Actor John Forsythe has passed away after a year long battle against cancer.
*Baseball season starts in earnest. Amongst the first matches of the new season are the Boston Red Sox hosting the New York Yankees at Fenway Park.

For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of the screen.


It's Easter Weekend for a lot of folks around the world, so let's peer into that wicker basket and see what goodies await.

The following is a brief quiz about eggs. Can you identify each egg based dished from its clue below?

1. You may have to break a few eggs to make one of these.
2. You'll need a lot more eggs if you're making this for brunch.
3. This egg dish was not named for a traitor in American history.
4. A favorable, eggs based weather forecast.
5. This comes from a virgin sturgeon, amongst other sources.

Since it's Easter weekend, let's go on an Easter Egg hunt!
How many other words can you find within the letters of EASTER EGG?

The solutions for March 27, 2010's Puzzle Corner.


The line should have actually been "I've been out doing in my head" from Help Me, Rhonda by The Beach Boys.

Thursday, April 1, 2010


It's April first, 4010; also known as April Fools Day to those using the old Earth calendar.
Long before the ancients wised up and started using the Internet and PCs properly, would you believe they recorded all their data BY HAND on a fragile material called paper?
Thankfully we're long past such archaic methods.
But while history shows that today is the traditional day for pulling what are supposed to be harmless pranks and gags on our fellow beings, some of our ancestors had the
(mis)fortune to be born upon this date.
Amongst those are:
*Physician William Harvey (1578) First doctor to record human blood circulation
*Baron Otto Von Bismarck (1815) Former Prime Minister of Prussia, first Chancellor of Germany
*Composer Sergei Rachmaninoff (1873)
*Actor Lon Chaney, Senior (1883) The "Man of a Thousand Faces"
*Psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908) Pioneer in studying human behavior
*Painter Anchise Picchi (1911)
*Actor Toshiro Mifune (1920) (The Seven Samuari, Rashomon)
*Author Anne McCaffrey (1926) (The Pern series of books and numerous other works)
*Actress Jane Powell (1929)
*Actor Gordon Jump (1932)
*Actress Debbie Renyolds (1932)
*Actress Ali MacGraw (1938)
*Musician John Barbata (1945) Drummer for The Turtles, Jefferson Airplane/Starship, and others
*Musician Jimmy Cliff (1948) Reggae/Ska maestro
*Wrestler Randy Orton (1980)
*Actress Hannah Spearitt (1981)
*Comedienne Waxy Dragon (2???)
*Wood craftsman Roger Rustman (22??) Proved existence of the Ent when tried to carve one of them by accident
*Jacq Q'sto (23??) First to confirm existence of Atlantis, reached peaceful accord with Merfolk
*Astronaut Bernie Cynder (24??) First to set foot on the sun
*Explorer Lee Houston the Fourth (25??) First to set foot on New Earth III
*Gorp of Gleep (29??) United his race against the opressive Bloops in 3024
*N'yuk of N.Y.U.K. (30??) Unsuccesfully tried to unify the universe under the peaceful teachings of The Three Stooges
*Dyba of Venusia (32??) Successfully unified the universe in peach under the teachings of Sir Robin of Williams