Sunday, February 18, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: BUMPER SNICKERS

Humor WITHOUT an agenda
Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
When preparing today's column, I had two possible topics to choose from. Funny bumper stickers or jokes about Presidents since tomorrow is Presidents' Day here in America.
I went with "Bumper Snickers" for two reasons.
1. The Sunday Funnies is supposed to be a fun place and not a political arena.
2. Making jokes about the current administration would have been way too easy.
So let's look at some vehicle rears instead of politician's rears, shall we?

I chose a road less traveled. Now where am I?

I believe in Dragons, Good Human Beings, and other fantasy creatures.

Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along come faster rats!

If love is blind, why is so much of it still based upon looks?

I AM A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER! My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it.

Obey Gravity. It's the law!

Watch out for the idiot behind me!

I believe in a better world, I just wish I knew where it was.

Help keep Earth clean! It's the only planet we've got!

If you can read this, you had someone who cared about your education!

And on that note♫

and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.—wd.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: FEBRUARY 11-17, 2018

FEBRUARY IS BOTH NATIONAL 💗HEART HEALTH💗 MONTH
AND BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
FEBRUARY 17 IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN KOSOVO.
FEBRUARY 17 MARKS THE 85TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
OF DAGWOOD TO BLONDIE.💕
FEBRUARY 19 IS THE 130TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THOMAS EDISON PATENTING THE PHONOGRAPH.
FEBRUARY 19 IS ALSO PRESIDENTS’ DAY IN AMERICA.
FEBRUARY 22 MARKS THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF BABYLON 5.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Does Philippines’ President Rodrigo Duterte really believe female rebels should be shot in the genitals???
*Who impersonated North Korean President Kim Jong-un, and why???
*Is there political corruption in Guatemala and Israel??? (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Cyril Ramaphosa is the new President of South Africa.
*Sorry folks. The Chicago Stock Exchange is NOT for sale!
*Will a new age of Concords soon be upon us???
*The total number of known exoplanets in the universe has grown by at least 95.
*For those interested in the 2018 Winter Olympics, Germany is leading with 9 Gold metals, 4 Silver, and 4 Bronze as of the end of events February 16.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*The victims of the senseless shooting at a Florida high school February 14.
*Actress Jan Maxwell (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Gossip Girl) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Singer Vic Damone (credits too numerous to mention) is no longer with us.
*Country music singer Daryle Singletary (“I Let Her Lie”) has passed away.
*Author Bill Crider (credits too numerous to mention) is no longer with us.
*Former professional baseball player John “Tito” Francona, father of current Cleveland Indians manager Terry, has passed away.
*Musician Scott Boyer of the Allman Brothers is no longer with us.
*Actress Lassie Lou Ahern (The Our Gang comedies) has taken her last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*President Trump proposed his new infrastructure plan this week to much criticism in regards to the fact it either rolls back or deletes many services, while putting more financial burden on the individual states. The proposed "savings" would go toward either "the wall", the military, or more tax cuts for the rich.
*13 Russians have been officially indicted for interfering in the 2016 Presidential election!
*Despite everything going on in this country right now, President Trump still wants his parade.
MEANWHILE…
*The Democrats seem to be building a momentum ahead of the 2018 mid-term elections this fall.
ELSEWHERE…
*Despite the seriousness of the emergency, United Airlines flight #1175 still landed safely in Hawaii.
*Sorry folks. The Chicago Stock Exchange is NOT for sale!
*The rest of Major League Baseball’s players have until February 20 to join the pitchers and catchers for Spring Training 2018.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 17, 2018

😎FUN FACT
The only 6 letter word of the English language with all its letters in alphabetical order is ALMOST.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
A lyric from a well known tune is below. All you have to do is identify the song. Ready?
♫And you knew who you were then♫

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, only there are just 2 possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
Which TV theme was NOT composed by Mike Post: The Rockford Files or Miami Vice?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the February 10, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, Also Known As
By what more familiar name do we know Ponce de Leon Montgomery County Alabama Georgia Beauregard Possum?
Cartoonist Walt Kelly’s Pogo.

TRIVIA TIME
February 17 marks the 85th wedding anniversary of Dagwood Bumstead to Blondie, but what was the bride’s maiden name?
Boopadoop.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: RAINY DAY JOKES (misc jokes)

Bored puppy
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
I'm stuck inside my people's house today as it rains, and rains, and rains, and rains, and...💧
Well, you get the idea.
It's still chilly outside, but at least it's not snowing again!
Anyway, let's see what I can dig up joke wise.

When it comes to procrastination, don't even get me started.

I've never understood why overlook and oversee mean opposite things. Isn't there any proper supervision in the world today?


Some people think that butchers are disgusting, but, people who sell vegetables are grocer.

Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?
Boy: "I was the only one who could answer one specific question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Boy: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician. You will never hear the end of it.

Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned.

Every box of raisins is a tragic story of grapes that could have been wine.
There's no rhyme or raisin why they can't achieve grapeness.

And on that unusual note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: FEBRUARY 4-10, 2018

FEBRUARY IS BOTH NATIONAL HEART💓HEALTH MONTH
AND BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
💕FEBRUARY 14 IS VALENTINES’ DAY.💕
FEBRUARY 17 MARKS THE 85TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
OF DAGWOOD TO BLONDIE.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The record Stock Market drop of February 5 and its potential ramifications. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*It will require a second round of voting to determine the next President of Costa Rica.
*The “Brexit” discussions continue.
*The 2018 Winter Olympics have begun in PyeongChang, South Korea; but did American Vice President Mike Pence try to “isolate” North Korea???
*Earth’s ozone layer is not recovering as well as scientists hoped it would.
*There are more exoplanets out there than first thought!
*What did the “Cheddar Man” have to say about Great Britain’s past???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*Actor John Mahoney (Frasier, In the Line of Fire) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Craig MacGregor of Foghat is no longer with us.
*Actor (Psycho, Spartacus)/Diplomat (Ambassador to Mexico: 1981-86) John Gavin has passed away.
*Actor Reg E. Cathey (The Wire, House of Cards) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Drummer (Johnny Rivers, the First Edition)/actor (Home Improvement) Mickey Jones has passed away.
PLEASE NOTE, DESPITE SOME REPORTS THAT INITIALLY GOT THE NAMES MIXED UP, DRUMMER/ACTOR MICKY DOLENZ OF THE MONKEES IS STILL WITH US!😁

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY
*The record Stock Market drop of February 5 and its potential ramifications. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*At the 2018 Winter Olympics, did American Vice President Mike Pence try to “isolate” North Korea???
*President Trump would like a military parade.
*Donald Trump versus the #MeToo Movement???
*WHY is there no Spanish material on the White House website???
MEANWHILE…
*The latest budget debates, including President Trump’s hopes of another government shutdown, continued this week. There was a brief shutdown again before Trump signed the new budget, although he is blaming “too many Democrats in Congress” for the potential deficit increases. (There are 4 separate links in this item.)
*But does the new budget mean an end to the Tea Party???
*The House of Representatives passed a major sexual harassment reform bill this week. Whether or not it becomes law remains to be seen.
ELSEWHERE…
*Pitchers and catchers are due at their respective teams for the start of Spring Training 2018 by February 13. All other position players of Major League Baseball report to their teams the following week.
*The Philadelphia Eagles defeated the New England Patriots 41-33 to win Super Bowl 52 and conclude the 2017-2018 professional football season.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 10, 2018

😎FUN FACT
An iguana can stay underwater for up to 28 minutes.

AKA, Also Known As
By what more familiar name do we know Ponce de Leon Montgomery County Alabama Georgia Beauregard Possum?

TRIVIA TIME
February 17 marks the 85th wedding anniversary of Dagwood Bumstead to Blondie, but what was the bride’s maiden name?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the February 3, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?
01. {driver’s license, visa} = IDs
02. {feat, title} = deed

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate things have at least one word in common, and so can be combined to form something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

A Stephen Bochco-Dick Wolf team up.
L. A. Law and Order

Sunday, February 4, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THE "SUPER" GAME 2018

This "puppy" has her own bowl!
Why are there no dragons in football???
Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here as we take a look at the final football game of the 2017-2018 season, also known as the “Big Bowl”.

Of course, the quotes are because since The Free Choice E-zine is not an official $pon$or of the game, we don’t have the legal right to use the actual title. But then again, how come they don’t put some free food in that bowl and offer it to the fans? Even if you’re just at a restaurant or pub watching the game, you know how high prices are at one of those events.

That’s true Waxy, but what gets me is how they can call something “Super” when the original competition was limited. For football, since what we call soccer is something completely different outside the United States, there were only the American teams competing to see who got into the playoffs, let alone earned the right to face each other in the final showdown.

I agree Autumn. I mean, as great as the World Series is at the end of every season of Major League Baseball, only teams from that organization are competing. You don’t see any baseball teams from other countries at that event. And the annual Miss Universe Beauty Pageant? The only contestants that ever show up are all from Earth! None of the other planets ever send representatives to compete.

Then again Waxy, a lot of people nowadays are just watching “The Big Game” for only the
commercials and the half-time show. Those are usually pretty entertaining.

But why do they call it the half-time show when the performance is only about 10 minutes long at most? The game itself seems to last for hours, and from what I hear, most of them in the past have had a clear winner before half-time. So why play the rest of the game at all? Let alone the previous 51 of these things?

Image via Google
For the money Waxy. For the money. That reminds me of a joke.
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game, and they got great seats right behind their team.
After the game, he asked her what she thought and the girlfriend replied, “I don’t understand why they were trying to kill each other over 25 cents.”
The guy was totally confused at that comment, and asked his girlfriend what she meant.
The lady went on to explain, “Well, they flipped a coin at the start. The other team got it, and then for the rest of the game both sides kept screaming at each other ‘GET THE QUARTER BACK!’”

Well, it’s clear to me that a puppy and a baby companion dragon certainly don’t understand the game of football. But before we go, let’s enjoy the thoughts of someone else who never quite comprehended the game either as we share our annual presentation of Andy Griffith’s “What It Was, Was Football”, accompanied with the illustrations from the Mad magazine adaptation by George Woodbridge, courtesy of YouTube. (And remember, we didn't create the video or the material within, we're only sharing it with our fans.)



And on that note♫, have a great week everybody. Hope the better team won, whoever that is, and one of us will be here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP & WD.