Sunday, December 10, 2017

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW

"If I'm licensed, why can't I drive?"
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Now then, there has been plenty of news–good, bad, or indifferent–featuring law makers lately.
But have you ever wondered about the "unwritten laws"?
Like, anything that can go wrong, will?
After all, everybody has stuff happen that makes us stop and wonder why.
With that in mind, let's look at some other interesting facts of life.

Despite opposing beliefs, there really is no such thing as a free lunch. After all, even if you specifically don't pay for the meal, the person who treated you to it did. So how could it be free?

Anything dropped will probably land in the least accessible spot.

You can't find something when you actually need it, but it shows up much later when the need is over.

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

When you're in a hurry to get from Point A to Point B, you always manage to drop or forget something, which slows you down.

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Then again, how can manufacturers get away with selling less of something for the same price it used to be???
After all, ice cream is no longer in half gallon containers. There is less dog treats or dog food in any container that my people bring home than there used to be either. But how come nobody does anything about that???

Whatever line you're in, the moment you switch to another, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Then again, why would you want to open your mouth and insert your foot to begin with.
Like the old saying goes: 'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

They say a fool and his money are soon parted, but if this person is a fool, how did they manage to have any money to begin with?

Just some stray thoughts to ponder.
In any event, have a great week everybody, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: DECEMBER 3-9, 2017

DECEMBER 9 IS THE 1,015 ANNIVERSARY
OF LEIF ERICSON LANDING IN WHAT IS NOW NORTH AMERICA.
DECEMBER 10 IS HUMAN RIGHTS DAY!
DECEMBER 13 IS THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF ANDY GREEN’S ATTEMPT TO BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER IN A ROCKET POWERED CAR. HE WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL (BY DOING IT TWICE IN A ROW) ON DECEMBER 15.
DECEMBER 16 MARKS THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE JUPITER 2 BEING LAUNCHED ON LOST IN SPACE.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Because of past drugging violations, the International Olympics Committee has banned Russia from competing in the 2018 Winter Olympics.
*As a result of North Korea’s latest “missile test”, South Korea and the United States’ 2017 joint military exercises are the largest (to date), while the United Nations is dispatching a diplomatic envoy to North Korea in hopes of having a productive discussion on the matter. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Has US President Donald Trump ended decades of American diplomacy in Israel??? The reactions to Trump’s actions are still ongoing. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*The Australian Parliament has decided to officially recognize same gender marriages in that country.
*Just what is that unidentified object on Mars???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*Actor Conrad Brooks (Plan 9 From Outer Space) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Steve Elmore (42nd Street) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Steve Reevis (The Longest Yard, Fargo) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*The annual open enrollment period for the Affordable Care Act, aka “Obama Care” is NOW until December 15, 2017!
*Has President Donald Trump ended decades of American diplomacy in Israel??? The reactions to Trump’s actions are still ongoing. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Is President Trump working without Chief of Staff John Kelly’s cooperation???
*Still wanting Hillary Clinton prosecuted, President Trump “feels bad” for Michael Flynn, but did Trump admit he obstructed justice, despite what his lawyers claim??? (There are 3 separate links in this item.)
*President Trump is bragging about currently having a 45% approval rating. While that is higher than some previous ratings, what about the rest of the country???
*Deputy National Security Adviser Dina Powell is planning to leave the Trump administration sometime next year.
*One look inside the current Trump administration, courtesy of The New York Times.
*The latest fact checking on President Trump's public statements can be found here.
MEANWHILE…
*The House of Representatives’ “tax cut” bill and the Senate’s version of “tax cuts” still have to become one cohesive document before presented to the President for approval.
*Will there be a “government shutdown” before the end of 2017 after all??? Congress has managed to pass another stop gap financial bill, but the final budget is still pending. (There are 3 separate links in this item.)
*Minnesota Democratic Senator Al Franken has decided to tender his Congressional resignation.
* Republican Arizona House of Representatives member Trent Franks has resigned from Congress, effective immediately.
*Is Alabama Senatorial hopeful Roy Moore pro-slavery???
ELSEWHERE…
*The Mueller investigation now has possession of at least some of Donald Trump’s personal financial records.
*Time magazine’s 2017 People of the Year: “The Silence Breakers”.
*Will FEMA workers have to give back some of their paychecks??? Yet they've certainly been working, considering the emergencies of 2017, like the current California wildfires. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*The Secretary of the Interior wants to shrink the boundaries of several more national monuments, like President Trump has already done to Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante; leaving many worried about the potential commercialization of the unprotected land. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Better luck next time trying to raze the old Pontiac Silver Dome.
*How the 2017 College Bowl schedule is shaping up.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 9, 2017

FUN FACT
Because Thurl Ravenscroft was accidentally unaccredited in the 1966 television special How The Grinch Stole Christmas, the singing of ♫You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch♫ is sometimes attributed to Boris Karloff.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image at right.
Do you know what it is?

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in CHRISTMAS?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the December 2, 2017 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
When was the original version of Miracle on 34th Street released?
June 4, 1947; because Darryl F. Zanuck was under the impression even Christmas themed movies did better during the summer months. Either way, 2017 is the classic’s 70th anniversary.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
The lyric from a famous Christmas carol is below. All you have to do is identify the song. Ready?

♫And mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again!♫

The line is from ♫It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas♫, but one has to wonder how the parents of the past would feel about the over hyped commercialism of today.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THIS AND THAT (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Butter.
Butter who?
♫You butter watch out, you butter not cry,  you butter not pout, I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town.♫

The annual Christmas team up between me and Autumn the Puppy is coming soon, but that doesn't mean I don't have plenty of jokes to share with you in the meantime. Ready?

My friend has black hair and her initials are PM and her boyfriend has blond hair and his initials are AM. They are as different as night and day.

Here is a mathematical trick. Take your age. Add five to it.
That is how old you will be in five years!

The police detective was questioning a chicken suspected of fowl play. "Which came first, you or the egg? Why does everything taste like you? Why did you cross the road? Why can't you say what is on the other side of that road?"
"Wait a second!" squawked the chicken. "What are you trying to do?"
"I'm grilling you," replied the detective.

My friend David had his ID stolen the other day.
Now we just call him Dav.

Robber, holding up a store: "Give me all your cash or you're geography."
Cashier: "Don't you mean history?"
Robber: "Don't change the subject."

And on that note♫, I hope everyone has a good week.
Don't let the over hypeness of the season get to you, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.—wd.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 26-DECEMBER 2, 2017

DECEMBER 5 MARKS THE 85TH ANNIVERSARY
OF THE ALLEY OOP COMIC STRIP.
DECEMBER 7 MARKS THE 230TH ANNIVERSARY
OF DELAWARE JOINING THE UNITED STATES.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*North Korea has conducted another “missile test”.
*Pope Francis is on a Papal visit to Myanmar and Bangladesh.
*Prince Harry has announced his engagement to Meghan Markle.
*Guess who else supports the LGBTQ community???
*The latest potential scandal facing the world: Elsagate!


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*The 300+ innocent victims of the terrorist attack on a Bir al-Abed, Egypt mosque.
*Actor Rance Howard (Apollo 13, Ed Wood, Cool Hand Luke) and father of sons Ron and Clint, has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Singer/Actor Jim Nabors (The Andy Griffith Show, Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*The annual open enrollment period for the Affordable Care Act, aka “Obama Care” is NOW until December 15, 2017! And President Trump isn’t happy with how successful the enrollment campaign has been this year.
*So, is a past allegation against Trump true or false???
*How to insult Native American Veterans, President Trump style; and the fallout since then. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Does anyone know Trump’s opinions of the group whose videos he retweeted???
MEANWHILE…
*Despite Republican hopes to the contrary, President Trump has officially endorsed Senate hopeful and accused sex offender Roy Moore.
*The Senate version of Trump’s proposed “tax cuts” bill has passed. Now their version and the House of Representatives’ version have to be unified before being presented to the President for approval.
*The Republican tide is turning in Oklahoma.
ELSEWHERE…
*A “watchdog” group is trying to get Robert Mueller removed from the investigations into Russia’s possible interference in the 2016 Presidential election just as he’s making progress. But that hasn’t stopped the investigation, let alone former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn pleading guilty to perjury and cooperating with the proceedings. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Have authorities caught the Seminole Heights, Florida serial killer???
*As more women speak out against past sexual harassment incidents, NBC has fired Matt Lauer and National Public Radio has released Garrison Keillor from his contract. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)

THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE WOULD LIKE TO THANK OUR LOYAL READERSHIP FOR GRANTING US 1,922 PAGE VIEWS DURING NOVEMBER 2017.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 2, 2017

😎FUN FACT
It is actually illegal to feed the pigeons in San Francisco, California!

Despite the over-hypeness of the season elsewhere, now that it’s December, we shall start our annual Christmas themed enigmas.

TRIVIA TIME
When was the original version of Miracle on 34th Street released?

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
The lyric from a famous Christmas carol is below. All you have to do is identify the song. Ready?

♫And mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again!♫

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the November 25, 2017 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
What was the world’s first video game?
Pong, from Atari, which celebrated its 45th anniversary on November 29 of this year.

AKA: ALSO KNOWN AS
What do we know a lemniscate more commonly as?
The Infinity symbol.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

SUNDAY FUNNIES: PICTURE THIS...

Okay Everybody! The Free Choice E-zine's Editor-in-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here.
With this being a holiday weekend (Thanksgiving, NOT the start of the 2017 Christmas shopping season) our resident hostesses Autumn the Puppy and Waxy Dragon have the weekend off.
Therefore, I've lined up some visual gags to entertain you.
Ready?


Not that I actually believe in the potential of a zombie apocalypse, but this sign at a gas station pictured on the right was funny.



Okay, I found the image on the left while Internet surfing one day and thought it was cute.
My question though is: did the bird on top originally pose for the sign and is showing off now, or is this an avian protest of what the sign stands for?



Is whoever created the sign on the right hoping to drum up additional business, or are they bad at sales gimmicks?



I took the image on the left myself during a visit to my doctor's office.
Obviously a lack of communication between the original building contractor and whoever doesn't want to be disturbed on the other side of that door.












The meme on the right is an entertaining reminder of past accomplishments and what we can still do if we put our minds to it.

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody. Take care and please be back with us next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—lh,jr