SUNDAY FUNNIES: GARDEN GRIPES

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Now, like most young children, this baby companion dragon is NOT having a good time during this pandemic.😷
Dragon School is only online. I can't see my friends unless we telecommute. Bubblehead, the human I live with, won't tell me where he's hidden the Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫 this time.
You get the idea.

Anyway, I know all the doctors and scientists around the world are doing what they can to fight this COVID-19 virus and eventually find a vaccine, let alone a cure, but I've got to tell you one thing right now.

Waxy's drawing of Bubblehead

It better NOT involve Brussel Sprouts!🚫

Let's be honest with each other here folks. I'm basically a kid, that's a vegetable, and what kid likes vegetables?

In any event, it was a long time to reach this point, but here are some vegetable jokes for a nice change of pace.

Why did the grape🍇 stop in the middle of the road?
Because he ran out of juice.

What vegetables are a sailor's worst enemy?
Leeks!

Why did the tomato🍅 blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing. 😉

Why aren’t bananas🍌 ever lonely?
Because they hang out in bunches!

Why do potatoes🥔 always argue with each other?
Because they can never see eye to eye.

Do salads🥗 win awards when they go above and beyond the kale of duty?

You know. I just realized something.
I've got TWO green thumbs!🖒
Maybe I should try my paws at gardening.
Does anyone know where I can find bacon, candy, and chocolate seeds?

And on that note♫, take care everybody!
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 21-27, 2020

INFINITE DIVERSITY IN INFINITE COMBINATIONS.*

BEWARE THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS!

JUNE IS LGBT PRIDE MONTH.

JUNE MARKS THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY OF JAWS:🦈 THE MOVIE.

JULY 4 IS AMERICA’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.

*Vulcan belief.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*June 21: The worst pandemic day yet???
*Meanwhile, in India...
*An estimate on how long the pandemic will last.
*Yet could there be a ray of hope among the TEN MILLION cases world wide???
*The pandemic has apparently sunk a cruise line.
*China has decided to join the United Nations Arms Trade Treaty.
*North Korea has decided to suspend “action” against South Korea. Although the South may have originally planned a different response, they are willing to talk. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Segway and Olympus Cameras will soon be ending. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*My Little Pony has a Nazi problem???
*Good water consumption is important!
*TWO “super” Earths???
*Bat-HUH???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*How long will Siberia’s heat wave last???
*The Saharan Dust Storm in America.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Film director Joel Schumacher (numerous movies) has passed away.
*Former professional baseball⚾ player and manager Eddie Kasko is no longer with us.
*Legendary comic book artist Joe Sinnott (credits too numerous to mention) has passed away.
*Artist/animator Kelly Asbury is no longer with us.
*Actress Taryn Power (1975's The Count of Monte Cristo, Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger) has taken her final bow on life's stage.
*Milton Glaser, who developed the I💗NY slogan and co-founded The New Yorker magazine, has passed away.
*Producer Stuart Cornfeld (Dodgeball, Tropic Thunder, Zoolander) is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…

*With families being separated upon apprehension, President Trump declared the lack of a border wall a “national emergency”. There have since been legal and legislative battles initiated over this. But what about the health/safety of all the “detainees”???
*Some milestone!
*Get your construction money somewhere else!
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the costs of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION…🗹
*If the Republicans don’t believe in mail ballots…
*Trump’s latest campaign theories, compared to the Republican Party’s. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*There are three scheduled debates between Joe Biden and Donald Trump.
*New York voters apparently want REAL Democrats.
*Is Trump losing his voters/fans???
*Does FOX News still support Trump???
*With Trump running, do other Republicans have a chance???
*What will Wall Street do if Biden wins???
*What are Trump’s plans IF he gets a second term???
*Speculation: What if Trump loses???
*Apparently Trump does NOT have permission to use Tom Petty music.
THE TULSA RALLY…
*The tension, racial and otherwise, was much higher than the actual attendance, hence canceling a pre-rally outdoor speech. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Who might be responsible for all the empty seats???
*The COVID-19 health risks at the rally are still being debated, despite SIX members of Trump’s campaign staff testing positive for the virus. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*How the rally actually went.
*Will Trump slow down COVID-19 testing??? Maybe, even to the point of DEFUNDING testing! Or is he, since so many are against that??? (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*Now Secret Service Agents and one reporter have to self quarantine! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“Kung flu.” SERIOUSLY??? And its implications. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*What will the Trump campaign do now???
POLITICALLY…

*WHO'S idea was it to dismantle "Obama Care" and eliminate ANY coverage of preexisting conditions??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Will Social Security benefits be cut???
*In-fighting amongst the Trumps???
*Now the White House appears to be avoiding the Berman issue. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Is the suspension of skilled/temporary work visas good or bad???
*Is this the State Department’s idea of journalist access???
*Does the White House want more pro-Trump employees??
SOCIAL INJUSTICE… (originally just George Floyd news)
*Not right at all!

*Why is American Airlines being sued???
*Adjusting Rhode Island???
*Trump is planning to issue an executive order concerning existing monuments.
*They were dressed the same, but not treated so!
*“Kung flu,” and its implications. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Some companies are pausing their promotional plans to reevaluate their strategies. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*"We're no longer the DIXIE Chicks."
😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19… (separated from the purely political news)

*Sadly, the numbers are INCREASING!
*In just ONE day... 😨
*The state of your state, including the fastest and highest areas. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Despite Trump claims the situation is improving, the White House IS preparing for a possible second wave! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Will Trump slow down COVID-19 testing??? Maybe, even to the point of DEFUNDING testing! Or is he, since so many are against that??? (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*An estimate on how long the pandemic will last.
*Yet could there be a ray of hope among the TEN MILLION cases world wide???
*The “success” of attempting to reopen.
*Is the problem political??? Or geographic??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.) directions
*“Kung flu.” SERIOUSLY??? And its implications. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*You shouldn’t be fired just because you want change.
*Could Houston, Texas become the worst hot spot in America???
*California is certainly getting worse right now!
*But why so many young adult victims???
*Despite the growing crisis, could Trump declare the pandemic “over”???
*Trump versus his own health experts.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!✅
*Trump on lobsters.🦞
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*The House Judiciary Committee plans to investigate the firing of Geoff Berman, although Trump now claims it wasn’t his decision. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Will Attorney General William Barr testify as the House Judiciary Committee investigates the Department of Justice??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Republicans and Democrats cannot agree on a police reform bill.

ELSEWHERE…
*Bayer has decided to settle the Round Up lawsuits.
*Could the District of Columbia become the 51st state???
*Are Chuck E. Cheese and Peter Pan Pizza in trouble???
*Apparently there might be some baseball⚾ after all!
*The 2020 Daytime Emmy Awards virtually went to...
*The comic strip Stone Soup will be ending July 26, but reruns will continue.
*July 3rd marks the 130th anniversary of Idaho joining the United States.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*Perfect timing on the picture taking.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 27, 2020

😎FUN FACT
Sadly, artist Vincent Van Gogh only sold ONE painting during his lifetime!

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Illuminating Star Wars toy?

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
Who do we know screenwriter Edmond Dantes (Beethoven 1, Maid In Manhattan) better as?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the June 20, 2020 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Michael Keaton, Ben Affleck} and yes, we know they’re both comedic actors.
Both have done serious turns as Batman.
02. {J. K. Simmons, Chris Evans} and yes, we know they’re both actors.
Both have portrayed at least 2 different comic book characters, to date. Simmons: J. Jonah Jameson and Commissioner Gordon; Chris Evans the Human Torch and Captain America.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What movie features the most Elvis Presley songs?
Disney’s Lilo and Stitch!

SUNDAY FUNNIES: FATHERS' DAY 2020

Woof Dad!

Dad: Winging it as always.—love, Waxy.

Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy & Waxy Dragon here for our annual Fathers' Day celebration!

That's right Autumn, and considering everything going on in the world🌏 right now between the pandemic and the major social issues everyone is talking about, it's a great time to paws pause and remember how important family is.
Especially fathers!

So without further adieu, here's our annual presentation of Fathers' Day jokes.

A father asked his son if the kid had seen the newspaper.📰
The son replied that newspapers were old school and people used tablets nowadays before handing the father his.
That fly🦟 didn’t stand a chance!😉

Why didn't the father get his gift on time?

It was chocoLATE.
Waxy, did you have something to do with that?
No. Why? Was it Belgosian Dark Chocolate?🍫
No. Just plain chocolate.
Oh. Boring! Moving on...

What is the first thing any dad does on Fathers' Day?
Wake up.⏰

What kind of music♫ did the kids play for their dad on Father’s Day?
Pop music.

What did the Panda🐼 give his daddy on Father’s Day?
A big bear hug.💗

What did the baby corn say to his mommy?
"Where's pop?"

When asked if she knew how old her father was, the daughter replied, "My age. I've known him my whole life."

And on that note♫, please remember to STAY SAFE and be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP and WD.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 14-20, 2020

♫ALL WE ARE SAYING, IS GIVE PEACE A CHANCE!♫*

BEWARE THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS!

ARE YOU AWARE OF THE WALMART GROUND BEEF RECALL???

JUNE IS LGBT PRIDE MONTH.

JUNE 20 IS THE SUMMER SOLSTICE.

JUNE 21 IS FATHER’S DAY.

*John Lennon and the Plastic (Yoko) Ono Band.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*The pandemic global medical battle continues, including China, Canada, Egypt, India, and Brazil. (There are 6/SIX separate links in this item.)
*Did he really put money over people's health???
*The World Health Organization wonders: what next???
*The American Embassy in South Korea can’t express an opinion???
*What is Russian President Vladimir Putin worried about???
*North Korea is still not talking to South Korea. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The membership of the United Nations’ Security Council will soon be changing.
*Is it really too late to say "sorry"???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐
*Corporate guilt over a deadly wildfire.
*You can’t blame the pandemic for these tourist attractions no longer existing.
*Will the COVID-19 pandemic actually HURT the environment???
*A Sahara dust cloud in the Gulf of Mexico???

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Rayshard Brooks.
*Professional baseball⚾ legend Mike McCormick has passed away.
*Former professional football🏈 player Jerry Sturm is no longer with us.
*Dame Vera Lynn, famous singer/songwriter of World War 2, has passed away.
*Actor Sir Ian Holm (Alien, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional football player Bill Groman is no longer with us.
*Director Alan Metter (Back to School, Girls Just Want To Have Fun, others) has passed away.
*Rapper Tray Savage is no longer with us.
*Animator Mark Glamack (credits too numerous to mention) has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…

*With families being separated upon apprehension, President Trump declared the lack of a border wall a “national emergency”. There have since been legal and legislative battles initiated over this. But what about the health/safety of all the “detainees”???
*Sorry Trump, but the Supreme Court says (California’s) sanctuary cities ARE legal!
*The Supreme Court also ruled AGAINST Trump trying to dismantle the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals Act! Some say it was because of a “paperwork error” but either way, Trump doesn’t like the decision. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the costs of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION…🗹
*Trump versus Biden, and the campaign season hasn’t officially started yet.
*Facebook will NOT allow the Trump campaign to use World War 2 era Nazi symbols in its ads!
POLITICALLY…
*The Supreme Court says LGBTQ workers DO have rights! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The American Embassy in South Korea can’t express an opinion???

*Trump is also in trouble with both Facebook AND Twitter over a “racist baby” video! The children’s parents are investigating “legal options”. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Trump doesn’t want John Bolton’s book published.
*Bolton, in turn, paints a different version of Trump on journalists and China’s President. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*But will the book’s release be paused or not???
*Either way, Trump isn't in Bolton's corner.
*Trump wants to prosecute the “bunker blabber”.
*Another attorney investigating Trump charges has been fired!

*Trump thinks HE made Juneteenth famous???
*But as the Tulsa rally prepares to get underway as we post this installment of THE WEEK IN REVIEW, SIX members of Trump's advance campaign staff in Oklahoma have COVID-19!  (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*NOTE: Because of the lateness of the rally, full news coverage will be in the June 21-27 WEEK IN REVIEW!
SOCIAL INJUSTICE… (originally just George Floyd news)
*And now the Rayshard Brooks situation. While Mister Brooks was in violation of the law at the time, his death was unnecessary. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Neither was burning the Wendy’s after the fact.
*The officer involved is now facing murder charges.
*President Trump didn’t comment on the June 12 Brooks situation until June 15. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Trump’s new executive order for “policing” the police.
*Trump’s position on current events has cost him at least one official.
*The government HAS been maintaining surveillance on protesters!
*Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, and Eskimo Pies are FINALLY getting an update! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE US VERSUS COVID-19… (separated from the purely political news)
*The rising statistics. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*There have been more American deaths from this disease than during the entire first World War! Not a record to be proud of.
*The state of your state; with the case counts rising in Florida and elsewhere. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*Vice President Pence tries to “advise” state governors against testing, and that the virus will “go away” if you avoid the news! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Are the individual states on their own???
*Has Hawaii been successful against COVID-19???
*Considering the health risks they’re taking, do medical workers need social backlash too??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Who’s looking out for the elderly???
*The mask can’t work if you won’t wear it!
TRUMP TWEETS…
*Trump versus… a ramp???
*Trump versus Bolton over new book.
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!✅
*Trump on the military.
*Trump on Obama concerning the police.
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…

*Trump versus Congress on lack of oversight.
*Will Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell LOSE in November???
ELSEWHERE…
*The Coast Guard says Florida’s Roosevelt Bridge is at risk of collapsing!
*NO MORE CASHIERS AT WALMART???
*"Tiz the Law" has won the Belmont Stakes.🏇
*The possible future of video games???
*Is everything okay in professional wrestling???
*For those interested, ABC has finally released their fall schedule.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*What an egg-strordinary find! 😉

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 20, 2020

😎FUN FACT
A newborn kangaroo🦘 is traditionally smaller than a Lima Bean!
Hence why the infant stays within the mother’s pouch for so long.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Michael Keaton, Ben Affleck} and yes, we know they’re both comedic actors.
02. {J. K. Simmons, Chris Evans} and yes, we know they’re both actors.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What movie🎥 features the most Elvis Presley songs?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the June 13, 2020 Puzzle Corner.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are just two possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
TRUE or FALSE: There is a real Doctor behind the creation of Dr. Pepper.
FALSE! It was created by PHARMACIST Charles Alderton.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
Jenny?
8675309, but thankfully Tommy Tutone never revealed the area and country codes to that (in)famous number.📵

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WHAT A YEAR, SO FAR!

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Right now, I honestly don't know where to begin because I’m getting tired of being part of some major historical events.
Let's face facts. The pandemic, George Floyd and all of the race/social/police issues involved...
It's like waking up to find you've been cast in a major motion picture, only to discover it's an action/adventure disaster movie and you have to do all of your own stunts!
But hey, it's Sunday. I'm supposed to be funny, so let's see what jokes I can dig up for you folks today...

Don't you wish at least 2020, if not every year, came with options?
Like Select Level Of Difficulty:
{easy} {medium} {hard} {are you kidding?} {WTF?} {Forget it!}

This year has been like looking both ways before crossing a road and getting hit by an airplane!✈
Makes you wonder how that dang chicken ever accomplished it! 🐔

The best advise my people got from their doctor was when he said, "I’m prescribing an exercise program for your depression. Stand up. Walk across the room. Turn off the news. Repeat daily." 😉

My owner is busy washing a load of pajamas right now so he has something to wear when he telecommutes to work this week.

Just think of about it folks.
Gas prices are falling toward a dollar a gallon now. Restaurants are all Drive Through/Take Out only at the moment, and everyone has shaggy hair.
Welcome to the 1970s.
Where's my mood ring?

And on that note♫, before we part company, I'd like to paws pause and share a special song with everyone. The video is courtesy of YouTube, with The Free Choice E-zine only sharing the reference.
From 1968, it's ♫Everyday People♫ by Sly and the Family Stone.

Take care everyone!
STAY SAFE!
And please be back here again next Sunday when Waxy Dragon joins me in our annual salute to Father's Day. Until then... PEACE!
AtP.