SUNDAY FUNNIES: DRAGON THOUGHTS (misc. jokes)

𝅘𝅥𝅯Groovin', on a Sunday Afternoon𝅘𝅥

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
I'm just hanging out and chilling today.
Dragon School is over for another semester.
Summer Spring (for the weather is still wonky) has finally arrived, and there just isn't anything for a baby companion dragon to do but kick back, relax, wonder where Bubblehead is hiding the Belgosian Dark Chocolate this time, and tell some jokes since this IS Sunday.
Ready?

Bubblehead (the human I live with) is cleaning house right now.
Don't know why. It's just going to get dirty again.
Then again, I've heard the secret of a clean house is to never let anyone inside, but that doesn't make much sense to me.

Waxy's guardian, "Bubblehead"

Besides the fact that if you can't get inside you can't live there, if you're going to go to all that trouble to clean something anyway, why not show it off and brag a little?

Bubblehead (of course, that's not his real name. It's a nickname I call him) does want me to help, but I figure the best way to help is to just stay out of his way.
Right now, I'm playing video games.
I asked a French man once if he played video games. His answers was, “Wii.”

What gender pronouns are best to use for chocolate bars?
Her, She.

I have absolutely no idea why Bubblehead goes to so much trouble to find stuff to do on the weekends when he works all week long.
I asked him once what he liked most about his job.
Bubblehead's answer was "Payday, lunch breaks, and leaving."
I can agree with two out of three parts of his reply.
Not sure what he thinks is so great about Payday though, because I like my candy bars as just chocolate without nuts.
But I do get recess when I'm at school and he doesn't have any, so I'm one up on him there!😁

The man is old enough to remember when paper bags🛍 were blamed for the devastation of millions of trees🌲🌳🌴, and plastic bags were the solution.
My, how times have changed.
Now everyone is banning plastic bags on recycling issues in favor of using paper ones.
The grocery store wouldn't need bags at all if they would just let me in the supermarket and eat my meals directly there instead of having to wait for Bubblehead to go grocery shopping and bring the food home to us.
Then again, it took them over a month to totally restock the grocery store after the last time I went inside one.
But I am PRO-EARTH!🌍
After all, this may be the only planet we have, but isn't nice to know your home world no longer has its amateur status.😉

And on that note♪, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 16-22, 2019

JUNE IS GAY/LGBT PRIDE MONTH.

JUNE 23 MARKS THE 30TH ANNIVERSARY OF
TIM BURTON’S FIRST BATMAN FILM.

JUNE 28 MARKS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE STONEWALL RAID AND SUBSEQUENT RIOTS THAT LED TO THE GAY/LGBT PRIDE MOVEMENT.

THE BARNEY GOOGLE AND SNUFFY SMITH COMIC STRIP

CELEBRATES ITS 100TH ANNIVERSARY THIS YEAR.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*Why did they go dark???
*Why ruin the celebration???🏀
*The investigation into the murder of reporter Jamal Khashoggi continues, although Saudi Arabia disagrees with the current findings. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Is anime in trouble???
*“Trump Heights” in Israel is officially open.
*The Toyota Gazoo Race Team won the 2019 Le Mans Tournament.🏎

THE LATEST FROM IRAN...
*Can the Iran Nuclear Deal be saved in time??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Despite an increased American military presence, Iran says it does not want a war. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*If Iran did shoot down an American drone, was it in International Air Space??? And what American President Trump thought on the matter. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*The on/off air strike, and why. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Saudi Arabia doesn't want a war either. But if Iran attempts to close the Strait of Hormuz... (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Meanwhile, on the oil front...

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*The children who have died in India’s acute encephalitis outbreak.
*The innocents lost during India’s current heat wave too.
*Director Franco Zeffirelli (1968 version of Romeo & Juliet, 1967 version of The Taming of The Shrew) has passed away.
*Kelly “King” Coleman of the Harlem Globetrotters is no longer with us.
*Singer/comedian Bernard Thomas (aka Bishop Bullwinkle) has passed away.
*Artist/fashion designer Gloria Vanderbilt is no longer with us.
*TV writer Peter Allan Fields (Man From U.N.C.L.E., Original Star Trek, The Six Million Dollar Man) has passed away.
*Actor William Simons (No Place For Jennifer, Heart Beat) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Asylum Records executive Elliot Roberts (manager for Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, etc) is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*President Trump declared the lack of a border wall a “national emergency”. There have since been legal and legislative battles initiated over this.
*Trump wants ICE officers to start removing illegal aliens from the country. But when??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*NO human rights for the detained children???
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the costs of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR detainees (to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
TARIFF TALK…
*At what price tariffs???
POLITICALLY…
*Will a new Supreme Court ruling affect President Trump???
*Mark Esper is now the acting Secretary of Defense because Patrick Shanahan decided not to pursue the position.
*Trump has already started campaigning for the 2020 Presidential election!
*FACT CHECK TIME!
*Trump’s idea of a Fourth of July parade???
*Did he or didn’t he??? He says no, but... (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Trump's latest theory...
MEANWHILE…
*The GOP Tax Cut is NOT working!
*“Congress should continue supporting the 9/11 Victims Compensation Fund!”—Jon Stewart.
*Republicans are STILL looking into Hillary Clinton’s e-mails???
*Is the Republican controlled Senate’s pick for a new lifetime Federal judge position the right man for the job???
*Despite past allegations against him, Roy Moore has decided to run for the Senate again!
ELSEWHERE…
*THIS IS JUSTICE???😕
*“Sorry Virginia. NO gerrymandering!”—The Supreme Court.
*Sorry. Wrong address and we don’t ‘return to sender’.
*Hate is NOT on the menu here.
*Believe it or not, there HAS been a lesbian First Lady!
*Guilty on all 7 counts with sentencing pending.
*Will Toys R Us return???
*June 28 marks the 125th anniversary of Labor Day being declared an official federal holiday.
*Gary Woodland won the 2019 US Open of professional golf.🏌

😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*Those amazing animals!

Although our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen was suspended when Blogger updated its gadgets, we have ADDED a new TRANSLATE feature in the upper right hand corner!

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 22, 2019

😎FUN FACT
-40 degrees Celsius is the same as -40 degrees Fahrenheit!
But either way you say it, that’s COLD!

RHYME TIME⌛
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?

Explore Italy’s capital.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What do you own that other people use more than you do?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the June 15, 2019 Puzzle Corner.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
How many states were needed to ratify the amendment for women to gain the right to vote in America?

36 of the then 48 states, because Alaska and Hawaii had yet to join.
Illinois was the first to say "yes" on June 10, 1919. Tennessee was the last state needed to make the amendment official. They said "yes" on August 18, 1920 and the measure officially became part of the Constitution on August 26, 1920, making that day the official anniversary.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE COUNTRY?
Connecticut adopted the measure on September 14, 1920. Vermont did the same on February 8, 1921.
Delaware did too on March 5, 1923!
Virginia finally recognized the measure on February 21, 1952. Alabama on September 8, 1953.
But Maryland remained silent on the matter until February 25, 1958!
Alaska and Hawaii accepted the United States Constitution as is when they both officially became states in 1959.
Yet Florida didn't formally acknowledge the 19th amendment until May 13, 1969, with South Carolina following on July 1.
Georgia finally followed suit on February 20, 1970 with Louisiana joining the party on June 11 of that year.
North Carolina adopted the measure on May 6, 1971, and Mississippi finally accepted the 19th amendment on March 22, 1984!
Alaska and Hawaii I can understand. But the rest?
If any historians in the audience care to shed some light upon this subject, feel free to contact this e-zine with the information.

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What unique distinction did America give women that the rest of the world did later?
A woman’s right to run for office too!
New Zealand was the first to give women the right to vote in 1853, but no country declared a woman eligible for elected office as well before the United States did.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: FATHER'S DAY 2019

Hello Everybody! Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here as we celebrate Father's Day! 😀

That's right Autumn. While it's something that should be done every day, we take time out to honor dear ol' dad.

And the best way to do that is with some jokes, since this IS the Sunday Funnies, so let's get right to it Waxy.

Did you know my dad is a magician?
He walked down the street and turned into a hardware store!

Dad, I'm sorry for all the stupid things I did as a kid. If it helps, you only know half of it.

Remember when over protective fathers warned potential beaus, "Yes, I have a beautiful daughter. I also have a shotgun and a backhoe and know how to use them both in the middle of the night without anyone knowing."
Then again, there's always the one about the Courtroom Judge who asked the man, "Why are you trying to annul your marriage?
To which the man replied, “I learned her father’s shotgun wasn’t even loaded."

A young man called his father and dad said,“It is about time you called. I haven’t eaten all week since the last time you called.”
“Why haven’t you eaten?” the son asked, worried about his dad.
To which the father replied,  “I haven’t eaten because I did not want my mouth full of food in case you called.”

And on that note♫, we hope that everyone who had the opportunity to celebrate today did so.
Take care, have a great week, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP AND wd!

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JUNE 9-15, 2019

JUNE IS GAY/LGBT PRIDE MONTH.

JUNE 15 IS INTERNATIONAL SURFING DAY.

JUNE 16 IS FATHER’S DAY.

JUNE 19 IS JUNETEENTH IN CIVIL RIGHTS HISTORY.

JUNE 19 MARKS THE 65TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE TASMANIAN DEVIL’S DEBUT

IN THE BUGS BUNNY CARTOON “DEVIL MAY HARE”.

THE PRISONER TV SERIES CELEBRATES ITS 50TH ANNIVERSARY THIS YEAR.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*The Kivu Ebola Epidemic is worse than the previous West Africa Epidemic!
*Mine(s) or no mine(s)??? Did they do it??? A difference of opinion. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Canada will ban all single use plastics by 2021 in a global effort to fight pollution.
*Notre Dame is observing mass again.
*Twitter is cracking down on fake news and propaganda.
*While they have yet to officially support it, Botswana no longer considers same gender activities a crime, but Ecuador has just made same gender marriages legal. (There are 2/TWO separate links in tis item.)
*Is the Milky Way "damaged"???

AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT IN GREAT BRITAIN
*Although US President Trump said he had a great time in England with such friendly and supportive people, what was actual public opinion???
*Trump apparently doesn’t like his media coverage, even when abroad.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Professional runner Gabriele Grunewald has passed away.
*Actress Sylvia Miles (Midnight Cowboy, Raymond Chandler’s Farewell My Lovely) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
TARIFF TALK…
*FACT CHECK TIME!
POLITICALLY…

*Do President Trump and National Security Advisor John Bolton have a difference of opinion concerning North Korea???
*Could President Trump actually be envious of former President Obama??? Well, he certainly doesn’t seem happy over his “lack of recognition”. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Since when has Trump started disliking John Dean??? And Dean's opinion of Trump. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders has announced her resignation at the end of June, but should Kellyanne Conway be removed from her position??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Sorry Mister President. NO Intel from FOREIGN sources! But is there anything wrong with America's??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*How is Attorney General William Barr’s investigation into the investigators going???
*Refused the opportunity, why did Republican Steve King want to fly on Air Force One to begin with???
*Here’s a question to ponder: Is Trump right or wrong???
*One theory on Trump's current possible re-election odds, but would the stock market really crash if he isn't re-elected??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*WHO picked out Air Force One's new color scheme???
MEANWHILE…
*“Not so fast on that arms deal President Trump!”
*A Watergate link to current events???
*The House Oversight Committee finds Attorney General William Barr and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross in contempt over not answering questions concerning the impending 2020 Census.
ELSEWHERE…

*Should you be penalized for supporting women’s rights???
*Does Chick-Fil-A need saving???
*Why is the New York Times not publishing editorial cartoons now???
*Raytheon and United Technologies are planning to merge.
*The “reverse mortgage” bust!
*Illinois has acted to save a woman’s decision in abortion issues.
*The First Amendment exists for a reason, even if you don’t like the results.
*The final results of the 2019 French Open of professional tennis.🎾
*There will be a few less eligible Emmy voters this year.
😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…
*The Saint Louis Blues have won their very first Stanley Cup in professional hockey🏒, while the Toronto Raptors have won their first NBA Championship in professional basketball.🏀 (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

Although our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen was suspended when Blogger updated its gadgets, we have ADDED a new TRANSLATE feature in the upper right hand corner!

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JUNE 15, 2019

😎FUN FACT
♫We were suffering until suffrage. Not a woman here could vote no matter what age.♫ —Schoolhouse Rock. Video courtesy of YouTube. Schoolhouse Rock, a fondly remembered and very missed series (C) whoever does own it now.

CONTINUING OUR THEME FROM LAST WEEKEND...

NUMBER PLEASE
How many states were needed to ratify the amendment for women to gain the right to vote in America?

TRIVIA TIME⌚
What unique distinction did America give women that the rest of the world did later?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the June 8, 2019 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇
While test animals of both genders were used before, who was the first female person in outer space?
Cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova aboard Vostok 6 in June, 1963.
For those who said Sally Ride, while she was the first American female astronaut, Ride didn’t fly until 1983.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
Which amendment to the United States Constitution bans denying anyone the right to vote based on gender?
The 19th, which passed Congress on June 4, 1919 and was sent to the individual states for approval, which leads us to today’s Puzzle Corner.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: ANIMAL ANTICS (misc. animal jokes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
I am a proud member in good standing of the animal kingdom, and so I feel ably qualified to share with you the following animal themed jokes this Sunday.
Ready?

What do you call a pod of musical whales🐳?
An ORCAstra.

At any given time, the urge to sing ♫The Lion🦁 Sleeps Tonight♫ could be just "a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...."

A cow🐄 caught her two calves watching TV📺 later than they had permission to. “Come on, you two," she said. "It's pasture bedtime.”

Did you know that scientists have discovered how trees🌲 communicate?
They bark. Especially the dog🐶woods.😉

What did Mother Nature say to the butterfly🦋?
"Your time as a caterpillar has expired. Your wings are ready."

A Chicken🐔 bragged to a Fruit, “I am free range.”
The Fruit replied “I am O range. "

Are horses🐎 born on 04-01, April Foals?

One woodchuck complained to the other about their job's new rules.
“After all these years of chucking wood, I can’t believe we now have to verify that we actually can chuck wood, let alone keep track of exactly how much!"
Remember: in business, no job is officially finished until the paperwork is done.

What is it called when a cat🐱 meows for food when their food bowl is half full?
Fake mews.

And on that note♪, have a great week everybody and please join me and Waxy Dragon for our annual FATHERS DAY salute next weekend on The Sunday Funnies!—AtP.