HOPPY EASTER (2014)

Greetings All.
You're old pal E.B., the Easter Bunny here to share a few minutes and laughs with everyone now that I have my deliveries done for the year.

I've been told that your regular hostesses, Autumn the Puppy and Waxy Dragon, have the holiday off to be with their families.
If you had to work today, unless you're in the military, law enforcement, fire prevention, or medical industries; shame on your employers!

Now it's time to kick back, relax, put your feet up and let your hare down as I tell a few yolks, I mean: jokes.

A magician called a bald man onto the stage. "I am going to make a rabbit appear on top your head. Alakazam! A rabbit is now on your head."
The man felt around on top his head and there was nothing.
"Go ahead and keep feeling around," said the magician. "Soon you will feel a little hare."

What do you call a cow on Easter?
Whatever you call it the rest of the year!

What did the chicken say when it laid a square egg?
Ouch!

All dressed up in their Sunday best

What do you get if you cross a flea with a rabbit?
A bug's bunny!

What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.

What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.

Where do tough chickens come from?
Hard boiled eggs.

If a rooster climbs to the top of a barn roof and lays an egg and the barn is facing east and the wind is blowing north, which way will the egg roll?
Does it matter? Roosters don't lay eggs!

Why did the rabbit cross the road?
To get to the hopping mall.

How do rabbits fly?
By hareplane.

What is the bunny motto?
"Don't worry, be hoppy."

Did you know carrots are good for the eyes?
After all, you've never seen a rabbit wearing glasses, have you?

What is a rabbit's favorite dance style?
Hip-hop.

Where do rabbits go after their wedding?
On their bunnymoon.

Well, that's it for this year folks. It's been fun.
As usual, I'm gonna hop home, kick back, relax, hang out with my peeps, and take a well deserved carrot break.
See you in 2015.--e.b.

The Sunday Funnies will return next weekend.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 13-19, 2014

HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!

AMONGST EVENTS THAT HAVE HAPPENED AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

*Sadly, the death toll from the current West Africa Ebola outbreak currently stands at 120+ confirmed victims.
*Algerian voters have elected incumbent President Abdelaziz Bouteflika to a fourth term.
*The Parliament of Malta has elected to recognize both same gender marriages and same gender couples adopting.
*An internal study conducted by their government reveals that one-fifth of Chinese soil is contaminated.
*The Guardian of Great Britain and The Washington Post of America are sharing the Pulitzer Prize for Public Service for their stories on the National Security Agency of America, based on leaks from Edward Snowden.
*The Supreme Court of India has decided to officially recognize transgender as a third gender, alongside the traditional male and female.
*Scientists believe a new moon is forming on the outer edge of Saturn's "A" ring!
*Civil unrest continues in Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria.

THE LATEST ON THE ONGOING UKRAINE/CRIMEA/RUSSIA SITUATION...

*While the participants enjoy a brief Easter peace truce; Ukraine authorities, with official government backing, have announced they are taking  "anti-terrorist" action against pro-Russian separatist protesters.
*The separatists have since retaliated, creating even higher tensions in the region.
*Russian President Vladimir Putin admitted to sending military forces into Crimea to protect Russian assets there BEFORE the succession vote.
*Someone is trying to convince Jewish people in Donetsk that they have to "register their presence".

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
*A judge has ruled that the finances of Detroit, Michigan will continue to be
monitored even after the city emerges from bankruptcy protection.
*Kepler-186f has been determined by NASA to be the first (known) Earth-size exoplanet orbiting within a star's "habitable zone".
*The Michael's arts and crafts supply chain has made public that they were an victim of last year's identity theft spree too, with over 3 million customers affected.
*Bubba Watson won the 2014 US Masters tournament of professional golf.

THANKS TO OUR LOYAL READERSHIP, THE STREAK* CONTINUES AS THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE HAS RECEIVED 2000+ PAGE VIEWS FOR THE 8TH STRAIGHT MONTH!

And this is our 1250th Blogger Post too!

*Since September 2013

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 19, 2014

HOPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!
To celebrate, we have a special quiz for you!
Every answer to the clues below, while something Easter related, is also an everyday phrase or
eggs-pression.
Ready?

01. To urge into action
02. Brianiac
03. Fail
04. Embarassment
05. Tread carefully
06. Dependent upon just one thing?
07. Savings
08. Overcome shyness

We'll reveal all next weekend. Meanwhile, let's peek inside THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the April 12, 2014 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
While everybody within the subsets below are the scoreboard designation for specific baseball teams, each group also has something else in common.
Do you know what it is?
01. {LAD, OAK, PIT, SEA} All are also normal words
02. {ARI, MIA, TEX} All are also people's (nick)names
03. {DET, MIN} Both are also abbreviations of real words: detective and minimum, respectively.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in BASEBALL?
There's more than you think.

A, abs, able, ale(s), all, as
Babe(s), bale(s) ball(s), base, be, bell(s)
Ebb(s)
Lab(s), label(s), lea(s)
Sable, sale, sea, seal, sell

More than the 30 listed above might be possible.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: JOKES SURPLUS (random jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

I've got so many jokes backlogged in inventory, I'm giving them away for free!

Want some?

Well, here they are!

Okay. I caught it. Now what?

Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball?
Because she runs away from the ball and her coach is a pumpkin!

I went to the pet shop and asked if they had any cats cheap. The clerk said all their cats go "Meow."

What never runs in but always runs out?
Time!

Why do hens lay eggs?
Because union rules won't let them lay bricks.

Peacefully Defying Authority

Why aren't noses 12 inches long?
Then they would be a foot.

If your nose was a foot, how would it smell?
Horrible!

Did you hear about the abusive chef?
He whipped the cream, beat the eggs, and battered the fish.

Did you hear the joke about the bed?
Never mind. It hasn't been made yet.

And on that note, have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for our Easter Eggstravaganza Edition of The Sunday Funnies!--wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 6-12, 2014

APRIL 13TH MARKS THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY OF

THE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS ROLE PLAYING GAME.

AMERICAN INCOME TAXES ARE DUE BY 11:59:59 pm APRIL 15TH! 

AMONGST EVENTS THAT HAVE HAPPENED

AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...

A NEW PHOTO OF EARTH!

*Some versions of the OpenSSL Computer Protocols have developed a critical bug that has been designated Heartbleed.
*Ireland's President Michael D. Higgins has made the first ever Irish Head of State visit to the United Kingdom.
*Viktor Orban has been re-elected Prime Minister of Hungary.
*Astronomers have discovered a moon orbiting an exoplanet!
*Civil unrest continues in Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Syria.

IN THE UKRAINE/CRIMEA...
*Citizens of Donetsk in the Ukraine favoring Russia have allegedly ceded from the Ukraine, establishing the Donetsk People's Republic independent of Kiev.
*Although accused of stirring separatist feelings, Russia warns Ukraine that any use of force in Donetsk would lead to civil war.
*The Council of Europe has suspended Russia's voting rights until the Ukraine/Crimea situation is resolved.
*Montenegro, Norway, Iceland, and Albania have agreed to enforce the European Union's sanctions against Russia.

RECALLS!

*The Ford Motor Company has recalled over 435,000 vehicles, citing rust and seat issues.
*Toyota is planning to recall over 6.5 MILLION vehicles due to steering faults!
*Microsoft has announced that it is no longer supporting or updating Windows XP.

PASSING PARADE...
*Actor Mickey Rooney has taken his final bow.
*A. N. R. Robinson, former Prime Minister and President of Trinidad/Tobago who participated in the establishment of the International Criminal Court has left us.
*Wrestler James Brian Hellwig, aka The Ultimate Warrior, has passed away.
*Jim Flaherty, Canada's last Minister of Finance has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...

*After filibustering to prevent a vote on a measure that would have given equal pay to women if passed, Congressional Republicans approved the latest Paul Ryan budget proposal, which drastically cut social programs in favor of giving the "savings" to the military. The measure has since been defeated.
*Sadly, a student went on a stabbing spree at Franklin Regional High School in Murrysville, Pennsylvania. His trial is pending in an adult court.
*The death toll in the Oso, Washington mudslide stands at 36, but 10 people are still unaccounted for.
*Bank of America has agreed to pay $727 million to customers because of deceptive marketing practices and unfair billing and another $45 million in penalties to the federal government.
*President Barack Obama has nominated Sylvia Mathews Burwell to replace resigning Kathleen Sebelius as Secretary of Health and Human Services.
*Peter Gabriel, Hall and Oates, KISS, Linda Rondstadt, Nirvana, and Cat Stevens have been inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
*The University of Connecticut Men's and Women's College Basketball teams have won their respective titles in the 2014 NCAA Championship series.
*Stephen Colbert has been named as David Letterman's successor when he retires from CBS' The Late Show in 2015. No word on what will replace The Colbert Report on Comedy Central when that happens.

THANKS TO OUR LOYAL READERSHIP, THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE STREAK OF 1000+ MONTHLY PAGE VIEWS (BEGAN SEPTEMBER 2011) CONTINUES!

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 12, 2014

The 2014 Major League Baseball season is well underway here in the United States, so let's play ball with some new enigmas!

COMMON BONDS
While everybody within the subset below is the scoreboard designation for specific baseball teams, each group also has something else in common.
Do you know what it is?
01. {LAD, OAK, PIT, SEA}
02. {ARI, MIA, TEX}
03. {DET, MIN}

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in BASEBALL?
There's more than you think.

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's open THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the April 5, 2014 Puzzle Corner.

Hall and Oates

FAMOUS FIRSTS
The musical duo's first names are Daryl Hall and John Oates.

TRIVIA TIME

Trivia Time picture from April 5, 2014

The unique relationship between the two items pictured on the left is that you could stick a pencil (or pen) through one of the cassette sprockets to take up any slack in the tape.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CELEBRITIES BEING HUMAN

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!

More celebrity quotes this weekend, but on a specific topic: being human.

No matter how much fame and fortune one achieves in life, in the end, they are still as human as the day they were born.

Emerson, in 1857

Clinton, circa 2012

“Enthusiasm is the Mother of Effort, and without it, nothing

great was ever achieved.”>poet Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It takes a village to raise a child.”

Possibly African Proverb frequently used by Hillary Clinton

Well, Necessity is supposed to be the Mother of Invention. So, how many mothers are involved, and where's the father in all of this?

Meyers, 2013

“I don't love acting... I'm just doing it because it keeps me off the streets and out of jail.”>actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Hey, at least he's honest.

Hanks, circa 2009

“Being a celebrity bears certain responsibilities. I don't cause

riots, but I do cause confusion. People freeze when they spot me.”>Tom Hanks

I guess it does. We put our idols on pedestals, and then seem totally shocked when they falter.

Costello, circa 2012

“I'm not even sure what I want, but that's not the point. It's that I want it now.”>Elvis Costello

For better or worse, that's a part of being human too.

Goldberg, circa 2008

“When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they'll remember and be kind to someone else.” >Whoopi Goldberg

There is ALWAYS hope!

And on that note, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--AtP.

All celebrity images courtesy of Wikipedia