Sunday, September 16, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: EDUCATIONAL JOKES

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
So far, I'm having a blast at Dragon School.
Right now I'm reading a book about Anti-gravity that's impossible to put down.

Anyway, my teacher Mrs. Dreki says she can remember when air was free at gas stations. She once asked the attendant why it wasn't any more and his answer was "Inflation."

She's also making sure that when we're in flight we can read maps in all directions, even backwards.
Personally, I thought that was SPAM.

At an old folk's home, they threw a party for one patient and there was a 100 on his cake.🍰
One nurse asked the other, "Didn't we celebrate his 100th birthday last month?"
The other nurse replied, "Yes. Now we're celebrating the final payment on his student loans from college."

Did you know that as a young boy, Brutus' mother often cautioned him not to run with Caesars?

I've learned in Dragon School to never iron a 4 leaf clover🍀 because you don't want to press your luck.

I don't want to call Mrs. Dreki a liar, but is it true that horses🐴 are naysayers?

I've yet to figure out why builders are afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a chapter 11?

Did you know that light is faster than sound? That's why some people appear bright until they speak.

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: SEPTEMBER 9-15, 2018


SEPTEMBER IS CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH.
SEPTEMBER 15 IS COSTA RICA’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
SEPTEMBER 17 IS THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY
OF THE ORIGINAL BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.
ANYTHING THAT DEBUTED IN 1963 IS 55 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR.
SEPTEMBER 18 IS THE 225TH ANNIVERSARY OF PRESIDENT GEORGE WASHINGTON LAYING THE CAPITAL BUILDING'S CORNER STONE .
SEPTEMBER 20 IS THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE HISTORIC TENNIS🎾 MATCH BETWEEN BOBBY RIGG & BILLY JEAN KING.
(KING WON IN 3 STRAIGHT SETS.)

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Is American President Donald Trump unhappy with the International Criminal Court??? Yet, even if it’s possible, should he try to sanction it??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*Those who unfortunately lost their lives during Hurricane Florence.
*Comedic actor Bill Daily (I Dream of Jeannie, The Bob Newhart Show) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former Professional Baseball player Billy O’Dell (Baltimore Orioles, Atlanta Braves) has passed away.
*Actress Fenella Fielding (Follow A Star, the Carry On series) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor/stuntman Jack N. Young (Death Valley Days, Wagon Train) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Marin Mazzie (Ragtime, Kiss Me Kate) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Zienia Merton (Doctor Who, Space: 1999) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUE…
*No matter how you look at it, the Federal Emergency Management Agency may NOT be ready to deal with the Hurricane Florence aftermath, ESPECIALLY since Trump took $10 MILLION dollars from it to cover ICE holding facility expenses! (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
POLITICALLY…
*WHO’S fault is it if President Trump faces impeachment???
*Now President Trump is unhappy with the International Criminal Court??? But can he sanction it??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Trump’s latest Tweets don’t receive the reactions he was expecting. Even on the September 11 anniversary. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*How the Trump Administration remembered September 11, 2001. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Why can’t President Trump accept the death toll count in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria???
*Paul Manafort has pleaded guilty in regards to the most recent accusations against him and is fully cooperating with those investigating Russia’s possible interference with the 2016 Presidential election. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*What ABC News has uncovered in its own investigation.
*Donald Trump’s current favorite book? The one supporting him.
MEANWHILE…
*While his possible approval is still pending, what might Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh think about women’s reproductive rights???
ELSEWHERE…
*And the next hurricane will be…???
*Should spanking be allowed in school???
*Should Hillary Clinton and Helen Keller’s existence be erased from history???
*Les Moonves has resigned from CBS over multiple sexual misconduct allegations.
*Nia Franklin, Miss New York, is the new (2018) Miss America.
*The Seattle Storm have won the 2018 WNBA Championship title.
*Famed recording artist Tony Bennett: Guinness Record Holder.
*Alex Trebek: beard or no beard??? But how good is Trebek against Stephen Colbert at trivia??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The next film Superman is…???

Our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen has been temporarily(?) suspended while Blogger is still working on updating its gadgets.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 15, 2018

😎FUN FACT
There are no rivers in Saudi Arabia!

WHAT’S THAT SONG?🎶
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?
♫Now this is the politics of lies♫

RHYME TIME
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?

Tides🌊, simplistically.

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 8, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
Can you name the 6 National Football🏈 League teams that do NOT have their own cheerleaders?
The Buffalo Bills, the Chicago Bears, the Cleveland Browns, the New York Giants, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and Green Bay, although the Packers do let local college cheerleaders perform during home games.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in FOOTBALL🏈?
A, ab (a muscle), afoot, all, aloof, allot, at, atoll
Ball, ballot, bat, blot, boo, boot
Fa (musical note), fab, fall, fat, flab, float, foal, fool, foot
La (musical note), lab, lat (a muscle) loaf, loft, loo (British for toilet), loot
Oaf, oat, of
Tab, tall, Tao (Chinese for way), tat (to tie lace), to, toll, too, tool
More than the 41 words listed above might be possible.

Sunday, September 9, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: BACK TO SCHOOL 2018


Hello Everybody! Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here as we present our annual salute to Back To School.

That's right Autumn. While many schools were already back in session before now, the traditional start of the school year (and when Dragon School begins) used to be the Tuesday after Labor Day, which is why we wait until the following Sunday to present this routine.

So, without further adieu...

Wait a second Autumn. I don't have it.

Have what?

The adieu. I thought you were supposed to bring the adieu.

That just means we're starting without further delay.

Oh. Then let's get on with it!

(Autumn sighs as the jokes begin...)😞

How come, whenever the teacher springs a pop quiz on the class, there's no actual soda involved?

When Luke came home from his first day of school, his mother asked, “What did you learn today?”
“Not enough,” Luke replied. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Why was school easier for cave people?
Because there was no history to study!📅

Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Because it was always sweeping during class!

Why do magicians do so well in school?
Because they’re good at trick questions.

Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Because she had bright students!😎

AND NOW, SCHOOL BOOKS WE HAVE YET TO SEE PUBLISHED...
“The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.
“High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss.
“When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.🔔

And on that note♫, until King Arthur goes to knight school, have a great week everybody and please join one of us again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP & wd.

Saturday, September 8, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: SEPTEMBER 2-8, 218




ANYTHING THAT DEBUTED IN 1968, LIKE THE LOCKHORNS COMIC STRIP DID
SEPTEMBER 9, IS 50 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR.
SEPTEMBER IS CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH.
SEPTEMBER 8 IS STAR TREK, THE ANIMATED SERIES' 45TH ANNIVERSARY.
SEPTEMBER 8 IS ALSO INTERNATIONAL LITERACY DAY & VICTORY DAY IN MALTA.
ROSH HASHANAH BEGINS AT SUNDOWN SEPTEMBER 9.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*😢Sadly, the National Museum of Brazil was destroyed by a massive fire.
*There’s a small hole in the International Space Station!
*Same gender sex between consenting adults is now legal in India.
*North Korean leader Kim Jong-un now says denuclearization may be completed before the end of American President Trump’s first term, while his country and South Korea will soon have another summit. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Finally getting the recognition she deserves!

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*Actress Jacqueline Pearce (Blake’s 7, Doctor Who) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Burt Reynolds (Gunsmoke, Smokey and the Bandit, Evening Shade) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actress Liz Fraser (Carry On Regardless, Dad’s Army) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Comedian and Impressionist Will Jordan has passed away.
*Rapper Mac Miller is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUE…
*How long can you hold a child in custody???
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the costs of all this, let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
POLITICALLY…
*So, Donald Trump doesn’t like organized labor either???
*It’s all Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ fault???
*President Trump still believes the investigation of Russia's possible interference with the 2016 Presidential election is "really, really unfair for the midterms."
*Apparently rolling back pollution controls will NOT help “coal country”.
*📖Author/journalist Bob Woodward’s new book, FEAR, is about the President, so Trump now wants “tougher libel laws!” (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Trump is still willing to “shut down” the government if construction doesn’t start on his border wall.
*George Papadopoulus’ sentence for lying to those investigating Russia’s possible involvement in the 2016 Presidential election.
DONALD TRUMP VERSUS THE NEW YORK TIMES, ROUND 2...📃
*Can Trump find out who anonymously criticized him, even with the Attorney General’s help??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*"It wasn't me."
*Has Sarah Huckabee Sanders initiated illegal action against the newspaper???
MEANWHILE…
*Will Congress use the 25th Amendment to oust Trump from office???
*John McCain’s replacement until the next Arizona election.
*Cheaters never prosper, and can’t run for office.
CONGRESSIONAL HEARING FOR BRETT KAVANAUGH…
*Is Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court nomination being intentionally rushed through Congress for approval before the 2018 mid-term elections???
*Why suppress his records???
*Is he lying during questioning???
*Has Kavanaugh lied before???
*The fate of Roe v. Wade if he’s appointed???
*What happens next???
*Will he become the next Supreme Court Justice???
ELSEWHERE…
*On September 8, 1998; Mark McGwire broke Roger Maris’ single season home run record in Major League Baseball. While the record has an asterisk next to it because more games are played nowadays per season than in Maris’ time, McGwire later admitted to using performance enhancing steroids to accomplish this feat, but was never punished by the Baseball Commission because the specific substances he used were not officially illegal at the time.😒
*Dorothy’s ruby slippers have been found!👞

Our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen has been temporarily(?) suspended while Blogger works on updating its gadgets.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: SEPTEMBER 8, 2018

😎FUN FACT
The Dead Sea is actually an inland lake.

Football🏈 season is upon us, so this week’s Puzzle Corner takes a look at that sport.

TRIVIA TIME
Can you name the 6 National Football League teams that do NOT have their own cheerleaders?

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in FOOTBALL?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the September 1, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
Who was the world’s first female telephone📞 operator?
Emma Nutt of Boston, Massachusetts, USA on September 1, 1878; making this year her 140th anniversary of employment.

TRIVIA TIME
What goes in a thole?
An oar.

Sunday, September 2, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: JOKING JOBS

Hello Folks! Free Choice E-zine Editor In Chief Lee Houston, Junior here with you today because both Waxy Dragon and Autumn the Puppy have the Labor Day weekend off.

The holiday was originally created to honor the work force that keeps businesses operating smoothly, despite the fact that most of the time it seems like the employees are given the business.
If you've ever seen Dilbert, Working Daze, or anything set in a work environment, you know what I mean.

With that in mind, I talked to others about their jobs and here's what they had to say...

My first job was in an orange🍊 juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.

I once worked in the woods🌲🌳 as a lumberjack, but couldn’t hack it.

I tried working in a donut🍩 shop, but soon got tired of the hole business.

I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but just couldn’t cut it.💇

I studied to become a doctor, but didn’t have enough patients for the job.

I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.💆

I manufactured calendars📅 for awhile, but my days were numbered.📆

I work as an elevator operator. The job has its ups and downs.

I worked in a shoe👠👡👢 factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.

And on that note♫ folks, have a great week and the ladies will be back next weekend for their annual Back To School edition of The Sunday Funnies!—lh,jr