Sunday, February 25, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: I HEART WORD PLAY

FOOW?
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Now, based upon the title of this post, obviously I love word play.
Puns, jokes, anagrams, palindromes, haiku, you name it.
So what better topic for a column than some of my favorite jokes in this category. Ready?

The inventor of steps got a lot of stares.

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
It's called Feefiphobia.

My friend is always polite and courteous when he builds anything. He's a civil engineer.

I got into a fight with my friend over what was the best vowel.
I won.

My new flannel pajamas were full of static electricity. I took them back to the store and I got a new pair free of charge.

I blew up my chemistry experiment.
Oxidants happen.

I purchased a boomerang from a poltergeist.
That is going to come back and haunt me.

I'm putting my grades up for adoption because I can't raise them myself.

I always wanted to procrastinate, but never got around to it.

I always felt at home in the water since I was a little buoy.

Did you hear about the angry orchestra conductor?
He threw a tempo tantrum.

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: FEBRUARY 18-24, 2018

FEBRUARY IS BOTH 💗NATIONAL HEART HEALTH💗 MONTH
AND BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
FEBRUARY 24 IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN ESTONIA.
MARCH 1 MARKS THE 215TH ANNIVERSARY OF
OHIO BECOMING JOINING THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
MARCH 2 MARKS THE 85TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE ORIGINAL KING KONG.🙊
TIME CELEBRATES 95 YEARS OF PUBLICATION ON MARCH 3.
ROWAN AND MARTIN’S LAUGH-IN CELEBRATES ITS 50TH ANNIVERSARY THIS YEAR.



AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD
THIS PAST WEEK…
*Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull met with US President Donald Trump February 23.
*The 2018 Winter Olympics conclude Sunday, February 25, with Norway leading the medal count as of the close of events Friday, February 23.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*Minister Billy Graham has gone to meet his creator.
*Actress Nanette Fabray (Sid Caesar’s Hour, The Band Wagon) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull met with US President Donald Trump February 23.
*As 13 Russians face indictments for interfering in the 2016 Presidential election and the investigation continues, President Trump considers it all “fake news”, other Republicans are blaming former President Barack Obama, and apparently Russia wanted anyone BUT Hillary Clinton to win the election. (There are 4-FOUR separate links in this item.)
*Investigator Robert Mueller has since filed 32 more indictments against Paul Manafort and Rick Gates on multiple charges as part of his ongoing investigation.
*Is the President sending mixed signals concerning his position on guns??? Yet he does want the Justice Department to outlaw modifications like bump stocks. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Trump did meet with survivors of shooting victims, while the NRA is already “fighting back” against gun control advocates. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Other officials say the world should ignore President Trump’s Tweets! But not because of their inaccuracies. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
MEANWHILE…
*Speaker of the House Paul Ryan wasn’t in a good position after the Valentine’s Day tragedy in Florida.
ELSEWHERE…
*The Florida State Legislature apparently does NOT want to discuss gun control.
*The National Rifle Association appears to be losing commercial partners after the Stoneman Douglass High School massacre February 14 in Florida. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 24, 2018

😎FUN FACT
The door bell was is invented in 1831.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items have at least one word in common, and so can be combined to form something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

A Hanna-Barbera cartoon character’s media company?

FAMOUS FIRSTS
What was the first television program to accurately predict the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the February 17, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
A lyric from a well known tune is below. All you have to do is identify the song. Ready?
♫And you knew who you were then♫
“Those Were The Days”, the opening theme song to All In The Family.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, only there are just 2 possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
Which TV theme was NOT composed by Mike Post: The Rockford Files or Miami Vice?
Miami Vice was by Jan Hammer.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: BUMPER SNICKERS

Humor WITHOUT an agenda
Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
When preparing today's column, I had two possible topics to choose from. Funny bumper stickers or jokes about Presidents since tomorrow is Presidents' Day here in America.
I went with "Bumper Snickers" for two reasons.
1. The Sunday Funnies is supposed to be a fun place and not a political arena.
2. Making jokes about the current administration would have been way too easy.
So let's look at some vehicle rears instead of politician's rears, shall we?

I chose a road less traveled. Now where am I?

I believe in Dragons, Good Human Beings, and other fantasy creatures.

Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along come faster rats!

If love is blind, why is so much of it still based upon looks?

I AM A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER! My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it.

Obey Gravity. It's the law!

Watch out for the idiot behind me!

I believe in a better world, I just wish I knew where it was.

Help keep Earth clean! It's the only planet we've got!

If you can read this, you had someone who cared about your education!

And on that note♫

and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.—wd.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: FEBRUARY 11-17, 2018

FEBRUARY IS BOTH NATIONAL 💗HEART HEALTH💗 MONTH
AND BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
FEBRUARY 17 IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN KOSOVO.
FEBRUARY 17 MARKS THE 85TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
OF DAGWOOD TO BLONDIE.💕
FEBRUARY 19 IS THE 130TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THOMAS EDISON PATENTING THE PHONOGRAPH.
FEBRUARY 19 IS ALSO PRESIDENTS’ DAY IN AMERICA.
FEBRUARY 22 MARKS THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF BABYLON 5.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Does Philippines’ President Rodrigo Duterte really believe female rebels should be shot in the genitals???
*Who impersonated North Korean President Kim Jong-un, and why???
*Is there political corruption in Guatemala and Israel??? (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Cyril Ramaphosa is the new President of South Africa.
*Sorry folks. The Chicago Stock Exchange is NOT for sale!
*Will a new age of Concords soon be upon us???
*The total number of known exoplanets in the universe has grown by at least 95.
*For those interested in the 2018 Winter Olympics, Germany is leading with 9 Gold metals, 4 Silver, and 4 Bronze as of the end of events February 16.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*The victims of the senseless shooting at a Florida high school February 14.
*Actress Jan Maxwell (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Gossip Girl) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Singer Vic Damone (credits too numerous to mention) is no longer with us.
*Country music singer Daryle Singletary (“I Let Her Lie”) has passed away.
*Author Bill Crider (credits too numerous to mention) is no longer with us.
*Former professional baseball player John “Tito” Francona, father of current Cleveland Indians manager Terry, has passed away.
*Musician Scott Boyer of the Allman Brothers is no longer with us.
*Actress Lassie Lou Ahern (The Our Gang comedies) has taken her last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*President Trump proposed his new infrastructure plan this week to much criticism in regards to the fact it either rolls back or deletes many services, while putting more financial burden on the individual states. The proposed "savings" would go toward either "the wall", the military, or more tax cuts for the rich.
*13 Russians have been officially indicted for interfering in the 2016 Presidential election!
*Despite everything going on in this country right now, President Trump still wants his parade.
MEANWHILE…
*The Democrats seem to be building a momentum ahead of the 2018 mid-term elections this fall.
ELSEWHERE…
*Despite the seriousness of the emergency, United Airlines flight #1175 still landed safely in Hawaii.
*Sorry folks. The Chicago Stock Exchange is NOT for sale!
*The rest of Major League Baseball’s players have until February 20 to join the pitchers and catchers for Spring Training 2018.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 17, 2018

😎FUN FACT
The only 6 letter word of the English language with all its letters in alphabetical order is ALMOST.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
A lyric from a well known tune is below. All you have to do is identify the song. Ready?
♫And you knew who you were then♫

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, only there are just 2 possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
Which TV theme was NOT composed by Mike Post: The Rockford Files or Miami Vice?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the February 10, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, Also Known As
By what more familiar name do we know Ponce de Leon Montgomery County Alabama Georgia Beauregard Possum?
Cartoonist Walt Kelly’s Pogo.

TRIVIA TIME
February 17 marks the 85th wedding anniversary of Dagwood Bumstead to Blondie, but what was the bride’s maiden name?
Boopadoop.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: RAINY DAY JOKES (misc jokes)

Bored puppy
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
I'm stuck inside my people's house today as it rains, and rains, and rains, and rains, and...💧
Well, you get the idea.
It's still chilly outside, but at least it's not snowing again!
Anyway, let's see what I can dig up joke wise.

When it comes to procrastination, don't even get me started.

I've never understood why overlook and oversee mean opposite things. Isn't there any proper supervision in the world today?


Some people think that butchers are disgusting, but, people who sell vegetables are grocer.

Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?
Boy: "I was the only one who could answer one specific question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Boy: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician. You will never hear the end of it.

Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned.

Every box of raisins is a tragic story of grapes that could have been wine.
There's no rhyme or raisin why they can't achieve grapeness.

And on that unusual note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.