Sunday, January 13, 2019

SUNDAY FUNNIES: TO TELL THE TOOTH! (dental jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
What time do you always see a dentist?
Tooth-hurty.

Actually, my teeth didn't hurt, but I DID go to my dentist for my annual teeth cleaning and oral exam, because dental hygine is just as important to your overall health as eating right, exercise, and all that other good stuff.

Yet that doesn't mean we can't crack a smile and some dental jokes! 😉

Why did little Arnold wear a belt on his teeth?
Because he couldn't find his braces.

Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth.
Bristle sprouts!
But it will never catch on because what kid willingly eats their vegetables?

Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!

What is the best thing to put into any dessert?
Your teeth.😁

If they're sad, do dentists feel down in the mouth?

My dentist told me I have only one cavity. I have to fill it three ties a day.
Guess that means I get to eat more Belgosian Dark Chocolate. HURRAH!

A dentist and a doctor both loved the same girl. One day, the dentist had to go to a conference. He gave his girl seven apples🍎. Do you know why?
Because an apple🍎 a day keeps the doctor away.

Why was a transport ship filling up with teeth.
Because it was a tooth ferry.⛴

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

Saturday, January 12, 2019

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 6-12, 2019

JANUARY 12 MARKS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF
LED ZEPPELIN’S FIRST ALBUM.
JANUARY 15 MARKS THE 175TH ANNIVERSARY OF
NOTRE DAME UNIVERSITY BEING CHARTERED.
JANUARY 15 MARKS THE 15TH ANNIVERSARY OF
NASA’S SPIRIT ROVER STARTING ITS EXPLORATION OF MARS.
JANUARY 17 MARKS THE 90TH ANNIVERSARY OF POPEYE THE SAILOR DEBUTING IN THE THIMBLE THEATER COMIC STRIP.
JANUARY 18 MARKS THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY
OF THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The fireball over New Zealand was…
*And in an ironic twist...

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Actor W. Morgan Sheppard (credits too numerous to mention) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Sound Engineer Gregg Rudloff (Glory, The Matrix) is no longer with us.
*Artist Ron Smith (Judge Dredd) has passed away.
*Larry Cunningham of The Floaters is no longer with us.
*“Jumping” Johnny Wilson of the Harlem Globetrotters has passed away.
*Sadly, the Achatinella Apexfulva land snail 🐌 may now be extinct.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*A southern border wall and the lack there of still seems to be a major sticking point in finalizing a budget and ending the current government shutdown.
*President Trump addressed the nation January 8, making his case for the border wall, and the Democratic response to that speech. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Fact checking time, courtesy of the Associated Press and Fox News. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*What people along the border think of the proposed wall.
*Just HOW MANY former Presidents actually support Trump’s border wall???
*And in an ironic twist...
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to discuss the costs of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of two minor detainees, let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
POLITICALLY…
*President Trump STILL doesn’t like the media.
*Trump wants to cut FEMA’s funding to California wildfire victims!
*Did the FBI once suspect Donald Trump of being a Russian asset???
*Was 2016 American Presidential Election Data shared with Russia???
*American farm bailout money to a Brazilian owned company???
*Did Donald Trump make some questionable real estate deals in 2018???
*What one member of Trump's administration believes women "need".
THE BUDGET BATTLE…
*The shutdown began at midnight December 22.
*Congress came back into session with its newly elected members January 3, 2019.
*Just how many people actually DO live from paycheck to paycheck???
*How can Trump and Congress come to an agreement when the President walks out of the meeting???
*The FBI isn’t happy with the shutdown.
*The Department of Housing and Urban Development, along with the Federal Food and Drug Administration, are now affected. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Although the shutdown continues, the government will continue its food stamp payments at least to February 1, but no paychecks were issued this week. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Despite rumors to the contrary during the government shutdown, while the Internal Revenue Service is still open this tax season, it WILL be paying refunds to qualified filers.
*Will Congressional Republicans ever do anything to resolve this situation???
*With this shutdown now being the longest historically and still on going, Trump's latest thoughts on the matter. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
MEANWHILE…
*Congress came back into session with its newly elected members January 3, 2019.
*The current Federal Budget Crisis has yet to be resolved, as reported in the section above this one.
ELSEWHERE…
*The Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy was NOT a hoax!
*Jayme Closs IS SAFE!
*Is there a truckers strike in our future???
*The daytime soap opera Days of Our Lives has been renewed for a FIFTY-FIFTH SEASON!
*And the 2019 Golden Globe winners are...

Although our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen was suspended when Blogger updated its gadgets, we have ADDED a new TRANSLATE feature in the upper right hand corner!

NOTE: All links were active at the time of posting.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 12, 2019

😎FUN FACT
DIRTY snow actually melts faster than clean❄ snow!

RHYME TIME
The clue to something is below, but no matter how long your answer is, each word within it must rhyme. Ready?

Any sty.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
Who do we know Terry Gene Bollea better as?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the January 5, 2019 Puzzle Corner.

FAMOUS FIRSTS
WHO was the first super heroine to have her own weekly television series???
While many people guessed Lindsay Wagner as The Bionic Woman or Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, it was actually Joanna Cameron as Isis!

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in NEW YEAR???

A, an, any, are, awe, aye
Ear, earn, ewe, eye
Nay, nee, near
Ran, raw, ray, renew
War, ware, warn, way, wean, wear, weary, wee, were, wren, wry
Yarn, yaw, yawn, yea, yearn

New and Year don’t count because they were part of the original phrase. Other words than the 33 listed above might be possible.

NOTE: All links were active at the time of posting.

Monday, January 7, 2019

SUNDAY FUNNIES: RESOLVING NEW JOKES

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hello Everybody!
Autumn the Puppy here with the first Sunday Funnies of 2019! 🎈
With a new year upon us, you know what that means!
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!
But after you make one, what do you do with the other 364 days of the year???

My New Year's resolution was not to make one and—
Dang, I just broke it. 😁

Anyway...
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
My usual resolution is 1080—on my desktop monitor.
Why people make them, considering the track record of some folks in keeping them, I honestly don't know.
Personally, I think New Year is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.
After all, if you don't like how your resolutions are progressing, you can always reset them on either the Orthodox New Year later this month or the Chinese New Year in February.
But let's look at some obvious New Year's Resolutions that people are NOT making...

To start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store
Dear Luck, can we finally be friends in 2019? Please?

Watch more movie remakes.
Then again, how much NEW material has actually been released lately???

Procrastinate more.

To do less laundry and use more deodorant.

To become a vegan for a day and subsequently learn that it was a missed steak.

Spend more time at work.
Then again, that's the one bosses make for everyone, except themselves. 😕


Truthfully though folks, I do have one resolution.
To rediscover the difference between wants and needs.
May I have all I need and want all I have.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!🎉

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

😟Editor's Note: This column was ready to go on time when it was supposed to, but technical problems kept it from appearing before now. Why? Your guess is as good as ours.—lh,jr.😕

Saturday, January 5, 2019

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: DECEMBER 30, 2018-JANUARY 5, 2019

JANUARY 5 IS BIRD DAY.🐦
JANUARY 5 IS THE “TWELFTH AND FINAL DAY OF CHRISTMAS”.
JANUARY 5 MARKS THE 90TH ANNIVERSARY OF OSWALD THE LUCKY RABBIT’S DEBUT IN “OZZIE AT THE CIRCUS”.
JANUARY 7 MARKS THE 90TH ANNIVERSARY OF
BUCK ROGERS: THE COMIC STRIP.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌏RLD THIS PAST WEEK AS 2019 BEGINS…
*The Taliban will not discuss peace with the Afghan government.
*Jair Bolsonaro is the new President of Brazil.
*Germany now officially recognizes “the third sex”.
*Same gender marriage is now legal in Austria.
*Bristol-Myers Squibb wants to buy Celgene.
*China is exploring the dark side of the moon.🌑
*Do robots have rights???


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😢PASSING PARADE…
*Composer Norman Gimbel (Themes to TV’s Wonder Woman, Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley; “Killing Me Softly With His Song”) has passed away.
*Actress Agneta Eckemyr (Kentucky Fried Movie, Island on Top of the World) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Ray Sawyer of Doctor Hook and the Medicine Show.
*Animator Don Lusk (Disney’s versions of Pinocchio and 101 Dalmatians) has passed away.
*WBZ Radio Personality and actor Joe Stapleton (Mystic River) is no longer with us.
*Actor Bob Einstein (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Ocean’s 13) also known as Super Dave Osborne, has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Daryl Dragon of The Captain and Tennille is no longer with us.
*Wrestling announcer “Mean” Gene Okerlund has passed away.
*The innocent victims of the Torrance, California bowling alley shooting January 4.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*What might have happened at Donald Trump’s golf course???
*Patrick Shanahan is now acting Secretary of Defense.
*What happened to the "storm protection" money???
*Can Special Investigator Robert Mueller indict Donald Trump??? He has a Grand Jury available for at least 6 more months but whatever happens, Trump apparently doesn’t fear the risk of impeachment. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*The Wall Street Journal fact checks President Trump on Afghanistan.
*A wall around the Barack Obama residence???
THE BUDGET BATTLE…
*The shutdown began at midnight December 22, 2018.
*Congress came back into session with its newly elected members January 3, 2019.
*Is the President still trying to blame Democrats for the situation??? He’s already rejected attempts to settle the budget. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Regardless of what happens, Trump has decided to freeze federal pay.
*If “Mexico is paying for the wall”, why does the President want funds for it??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Here’s one idea on how Trump can acquire his border wall.
*First day in office, the House has passed a temporary budget to reopen the government withOUT any wall money. A budget that Trump has threatened to veto. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Majority Leader Mitch McConnell claims the Senate will not agree to any budget that doesn’t include wall funds, but even members of his own party are against that. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Will Trump keep the government “closed” until he gets his wall funds??? Could not having it be “a national emergency”??? Or is it??? (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*And as of January 5, we're still stalemated on a budget versus a border wall.
*What the shutdown is costing America!
MEANWHILE…
*Congress came back into session with its newly elected members January 3, 2019 and new rules in place.
*With a Democrat majority, what happens to the money the previously Republican controlled House of Representatives received to investigate Hillary Clinton???
*Will Elizabeth Warren run for President in 2020???
ELSEWHERE…
*It should come as no surprise that General Motors has initiated massive layoffs.
*Only the INVESTORS were protected when this business failed!
*The Scarlet Letter of high school???

THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE WOULD LIKE TO THANK ITS LOYAL READERSHIP FOR GRANTING US 2,664 PAGE VIEWS IN DECEMBER 2018.

Although our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen was suspended when Blogger updated its gadgets, we have ADDED a new TRANSLATE feature in the upper right hand corner!

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 5, 2019

😎FUN FACT
It’s 2019 and a new year is upon us. Let’s party!🎉

FAMOUS FIRSTS
WHO was the first super heroine to have her own weekly television series???

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in NEW YEAR???

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the December 29, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
Words from a tune of the past are below. All you have to do is give us the song title. Ready?

♫And a Happy New Year. Let’s hope it’s a good one, without any fear♫
“Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono, with The Plastic Ono Band and The Harlem Community Choir.

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.

In the full length version of The Monkees’ ♫Daydream Believer♫, what answer did Davy Jones receive when he asked, “What number is this Jim?”
7.
But then, not quite hearing the answer, he repeated the question, making the follow up response 7A.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

HAPPY NEW YEAR: JANUARY 1, 2019

Can you believe another year is already upon us?

🌙Depending upon your beliefs, 2019 marks either the 25th anniversary of the moon being destroyed that led to the world of Thundarr the Barbarian or the 20th anniversary of the moon being violently launched from Earth orbit on September 13 to start Space: 1999.🌑

Then again, 2019 is also either the 20th anniversary of the Super Dimensional Space Fortress crashing to Earth that was the catalyst of the Macross anime as part of the overall Robotech series, or Phillip J. Frye getting cryogentically frozen on New Year’s Eve before being awakened to face Futurama.

On a more serious note the Euro, USB Drives, the BlackBerry, and Bluetooth all came into existence 20 years ago this year and there will be elections this fall, with Congressional seats being the highest office available. Despite past claims of this being a “minor” event, this year’s voting will be an important indicator of how America feels as the 2020 Presidential election approaches.

And to think, our biggest worry 20 years ago was what (if anything) the Y2K Bug 🐛would do.
Other events in the year ahead include...

525TH ANNIVERSARY (1494)
May 5: Christopher Columbus discovered what is now Jamaica during his second voyage.

190TH ANNIVERSARY (1829)
September 29: Scotland Yard was established.

175TH ANNIVERSARY (1844)
January 15: The University of Notre Dame was officially chartered.

165TH ANNIVERSARY (1854)
August 9: Henry David Thoreau's Walden was first published.

160TH ANNIVERSARY (1869)
November 24: Charles Darwin first published On the Origin of the Species.

150TH ANNIVERSARY (1869)
November 17: The Suez Canal officially opened.

115TH ANNIVERSARY (1904)
May 5: Cy Young pitched the first perfect game in baseball⚾ history: Boston Red Sox 3, Philadelphia Athletics 0.

95TH ANNIVERSARY (1924)
February 12: George Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue premiered on Broadway.

90TH ANNIVERSARY (1929)
January 5: Oswald the Lucky Rabbit 🐰(voiced by Mickey Rooney) debuts in “Ozzie At The Circus”.
January 7: Debut of Buck Rogers in the comics.
January 17: Popeye the Sailor debuted in the Thimble Theater comic strip.

85TH ANNIVERSARY (1934)
August 11: Alcatraz was opened for business and started accepting prisoners.

80TH ANNIVERSARY (1939)
August 15: Debut of Ellery Queen’s first novel: The Roman Hat 🎩Mystery.
September 1: Germany under Adolph Hitler invaded Poland, thus starting World War 2.

75TH ANNIVERSARY (1944)
August 25: Allied Forces liberated Paris, France; a major point in ending the European portion of World War 2.

70TH ANNIVERSARY (1949)
February 28: Bob Clampett’s Beany and Cecil the Sea Sick Sea Serpent debuted on Time For Beany.
September 15: Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels first rode as The Lone Ranger and Tonto on TV.

65TH ANNIVERSARY (1954)
March 25: RCA made the first color TV set commercially available. 12 and a half inch screen for $1000!
July 5: Elvis Presley had his first recording session at Sun Records, making “That’s All Right Mama”.
July 21: The Geneva Accords divided Vietnam into two separate countries.
September 27: Steve Allen started hosting The Tonight Show.
October 27 saw the debut of Disneyland, the TV series, to help raise construction funds for the park. The original Mickey Mouse Club would debut the following year.
November 10: Then President Dwight D. Eisenhower dedicated the Iwo Jima Memorial in Arlington, Virginia.

60TH ANNIVERSARY (1959)
January 3: Alaska becomes the 49th member of the United States of America.
August 21: Hawaii becomes the 50th member of the United States of America.
September 12: Bonanza debuted as part of that year’s new fall TV season.
September 29: Rocky and Bullwinkle debuted.
We first entered The Twilight Zone on October 2 and asked “Where Is Everybody?”
December 1: Antarctica was established as a military free scientific preserve.

55TH ANNIVERSARY (1964)
Anything that debuted this year, like F-Troop and Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea both did on September 14.
As of October 3, there’s no need to fear, Underdog is here!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer 🦌shined for the first time December 6.

50TH ANNIVERSARY (1969)🌕
July 20: Apollo 11 landed on the moon! First moon walk next day, with Apollo 12 duplicating these feats before the end of the year.
Come and play! Sesame Street debuted November 10.
The first Internet set up was established on November 20 at the University of Southern California.

45TH ANNIVERSARY (1974)
Anything that debuted this year, like The Six Million Dollar Man January 18.
March 29: The Mariner 10 probe landed on Mercury.
April 8: Hank Aaron of the Atlanta Braves hit career home run #715, breaking Babe Ruth’s record, and he did it cleanly!⚾
April 13: Dungeons and Dragons first edition debuted.

40TH ANNIVERSARY (1979)
The first Papal visit to the White House (by Pope John Paul II) occurred October 6.
October 7 saw the premiere of Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

35TH ANNIVERSARY (1984)
April 16: Rose is Rose 🌹comic strip premiered.
June 1: Star Trek 3: The Search For Spock premiered.
That summer, the Soviet Union boycotted the Olympics in Los Angeles, California, USA.

30TH ANNIVERSARY (1989)
April 16: Scott Adams’ Dilbert started “taking care of business.”
June 23: Batman, starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson, directed by Tim Burton, premiered.

20TH ANNIVERSARY (1999)
March 20: Bertrand Piccard (Switzerland) and Brian Jones (Britain) completed the first around the world hot air balloon trip.
May 1: Spongebob Squarepants debuted.
May 19: Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace debuted.

15TH ANNIVERSARY (2004)
January 15: NASA’s Spirit Rover started exploring Mars.

10TH ANNIVERSARY (2009)
Then President Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize October 9.

And of course, The Free Choice E-zine will be celebrating its 2200 post sometime this year.