SUNDAY FUNNIES: TECHNOLOGY TICKLERS

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!

Unfortunately, a problem with The Free Choice E-zine's Internet servers kept me from posting before now.

Isn't technology wonderful? 😉

And by an amazing coincidence...

Times certainly have changed.

100 years ago two brothers announced they could fly.

They were Wright. 

And look at everything that's developed since then.

From the portable computers and cellphones first theorized on the original Star Trek to all the conveniences of modern life as we know it today.

Provided we have electricity, a full battery charge, or enough bars to do what we want.

So if you haven't guessed the theme of my post for today...

There's life without the Internet?

The computer crashed! Can I get a new one?

Really?

Send me the link.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family.

They seem like good people.

Modern intelligence deduces that if all bathrooms in your house are taken and you need to "go", turn off the Internet.

Yes of course I am athletic.

I surf🏄 the Internet every day. 

If you think patience is a virtue, then try surfing the net without high speed Internet. 

Dear Humans,

In case you've forgotten, I used to be your Internet.

Sincerely, The Library.

The first cellphone?

Dear Sleep:

Thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net. 

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Nine hours later...

What do you mean it's time to get up? I just went to bed a couple of minutes ago!

Sleeping on my keyboard while still online.

If I answer, I'm texting in my sleep. 

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!

And here's a link to something very poignant... LINK.

On that note♫, have a great week everybody!

Take care.

STAY SAFE!😷

And please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 11-17, 2021

BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS!

APRIL 21 IS ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONALS DAY.

APRIL 22 IS EARTH🌍 DAY.

APRIL 22 IS ALSO TAKE YOUR CHILD TO WORK DAY.

APRIL 25 IS WORLD PENGUIN🐧 DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌏RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*Are there problems with the Johnson and Johnson vaccine??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*A look at the potential long term damage of anti-vaxxers.

*The state of the world, as of April 17, 2021.

*American President Biden is hoping to remove US troops out of Afghanistan by September.

*The US sanctions Russia over election meddling.

*The illegal military police state of Myanmar continues. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Ecuador has a new President.

*Raul Castro plans to step down as Cuba’s Communist Party Chief.

*The age/consent rules have changed in France.

*Explaining Ramadan.

*And the winner of the 2021 Masters Golf🏌 Tournament is…

*Not necessarily aliens, but a REAL Unidentified Flying Object!

*What’s past Pluto???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…

*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

*Japan plans to dump more radioactive water into the Pacific Ocean! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*More green batteries in the future???

*Will American power plants cut emissions by 2030???

*April 22 is Earth Day.🌎 Remember, we only have the one planet to live on. TAKE CARE OF IT!

*April 25 is World Penguin🐧 Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…

*Daunte Wright of Minneapolis, Minnesota (USA) April 11.

*The innocent lives lost at an Indianapolis, Indiana (USA) Fed Ex facility April 15.

*Actor/stuntman Felix Silla (originated Cousin Itt on The Addams Family and Twiki on Buck Rogers, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Famed, former professional football🏈 player William “Red” Mack has passed away.

*Noted movie makeup artist Giannetto De Rossi (original Dune, more) is no longer with us.

*Actor Joseph Siravo (The Sopranos, American Crime Story, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Noted con man Bernie Madoff has passed away.

*Internet Media personality Adam Perkins is no longer with us.

*Actress Helen McCrory (The Queen, Harry Potter franchise, more) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

*Famed former professional basketball🏀 player/coach Bobby Leonard has passed away.

*Former professional football🏈 player turned actor/singer Harold Bradley, Junior (Barabbas, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Actor Lee Aaker (The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin, High Noon, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Designer Robert Fletcher (Star Trek franchise, much more) is no longer with us.

*Hall of Fame former professional football🏈 player Leroy Keyes has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…

CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH

*The “Big Lie” can’t withstand the truth, or lawsuits.

*A guilty plea.

POLITICALLY…

*President Biden is hoping to remove troops out of Afghanistan by September.

*The US sanctions Russia over election meddling.

*No surprise. Big Business is against higher corporate taxes.

*Repairing Trump Era damage at the Department of Housing and Urban Development.

*Biden and Republicans.

*Undoing more Trump Era restrictions.

*Correcting a Trump mistake that favored Texas.

SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…

*Daunte Wright in Minneapolis, April 11; but the officer’s resignation does NOT prevent charges being filed against her. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*The latest on Adam Toledo.

*Shouldn’t they ALL be fed???

*Do we really need to post this???

*They can’t have the venue, even though the wedding IS legal???

*Some free speech.

*SAY WHAT???

*Will Texas prosecute parents for raising their children "differently"???

*They don’t want their children to know about it or do they just don’t want to hear it themselves???

*Does Florida really think this will work???

*THIS was a school lesson???

*“Collateral damage"???

*FINALLY!

😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…

*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Are there problems with the Johnson and Johnson vaccine??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*The potential long term damage of the anti-vaxxers.

*Republican Jim Jordan versus Doctor Fauci. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!✅

*No, President Joseph Biden is NOT a Manchurian candidate!

*Sorry folks. President Biden IS more popular than “President” Trump!

*Republicans on the Economic Recovery Plan.

*Explaining Ramadan.

*McDonald’s and Coca-Cola’s hiring practices.

MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…

*Among Matt Gaetz’s other faults…

*Oh come on. Seriously???

*Are Republicans losing Corporate support because of voters’ rights suppression??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*You can’t have it both ways folks.

ELSEWHERE…

*ARE YOU AWARE OF THE HARLEY DAVIDSON RECALL???

*Trump apparently still doesn’t like Mitch McConnell.

*Opinion: Has Trump “jumped the shark”???

*Has Ivanka Trump broken family policy???

*Former Vice President Mike Pence to write his memoirs.

*And the winner of the 2021 Masters Golf🏌 Tournament is...

😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

*Helping those in need...

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 17, 2021

😎FUN FACT

With apologies to Chuck Jones, real life coyotes are FASTER than road runners!

TRIVIA TIME⌚

What was Ann Margret’s television📺 debut?

NUMBER PLEASE

Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.

What number(s) has/have the same amount of letters as its value?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the April 10, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

WHO AM I?

Can you identify the person (real or fictitious) based upon the clue below?

“She was the most glorious creature, under the sun. Weiss, DuBarry, Garbo. Rolled into one.”

That’s Groucho’s intro to ♫Lydia the Tattooed Lady♫ from The Marx Brothers’ At The Circus.🎪🎪

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇

What was The Who’s first single?

♫I Can’t Explain♫ in 1965!

SUNDAY FUNNIES: RAINY DAY HUMOR (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

Stuck in the house today (not that I'd be anywhere else since I am a house cat) because it's been raining all day. ☔

I'll spare you that dumb joke about it raining cats🐈 and dogs🐕 because I stepped in a poodle🐩.

That's not only an insult to both your intelligence and mine, but it isn't kind to the animals involved.

Purrsonally, I don't mind the rain.

The yard needs to be watered. I'm tired of looking at all those dead, bare patches in the dirt.

Anyway...

Thankfully it's been a gentle rain, meaning no thunder or lightning, let alone the (high) winds.

I mean, all you have to do is look out any window and see it's raining. Do you really need all the other special effects as well?

But in any event, it's time for the jokes folks!

Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking and letting it hit someone else.

The leaders of any team at a person's job should wear capes.

Cowboy Cafe

That way everyone will know that they are the Super Visors.

Are you aware that Bees🐝 are smarter than Flies?

I mean, Bees🐝 certainly don’t waste any time trying to explain to Flies that honey🍯 tastes better than poop.💩

It has been this cat's😸 observation within my nine lives that people are funny.

Recently some are worried about being hacked, eavesdropped on, and who knows what else, yet they have no problem shouting into a box at a Drive-Thru establishment in hopes that whoever is behind the counter actually gets their To Go Order right.

If you were to send a text saying "Hey, I lost my phone📱. Can you call it?"

I wonder how many people would actually do so?

Okay, think about that for a moment.

I'll wait.

Got it?

Moving on...

A bookkeeper knew that balloon🎈 has two pairs of letters together, LL and OO, and asked if there was a word with three pairs of letters together?

I replied, "Yes, you're it."

It took a while before the bOOKKEEper understood, so I'm just glad that guy isn't doing my taxes!

On that note♫, have a great week everybody!

Take care.

STAY SAFE!😷

And please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: APRIL 4-10, 2021

BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

THE COVID-19/CORONAVIRUS!

APRIL 12 IS THE 60TH ANNIVERSARY OF

YURI GARAGIN BECOMING THE FIRST MAN IN SPACE.

APRIL 13 IS THE BEGINNING OF RAMADAN FOR THOSE OBSERVING.

APRIL 13 IS ALSO INTERNATIONAL PLANT APPRECIATION DAY.

APRIL 14 IS DOLPHIN🐬 DAY.

APRIL 15 IS YON HA’ATZMAUT FOR THOSE OBSERVING.

APRIL 15 IS WORLD ART🎨 APPRECIATION DAY.

AM😷NGST EVENTS AROUND THE W🌍RLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*Cases rise as vaccinations continue. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)

*No water = COVID risk???

*Trump era contracts may keep the US from sending vaccines out of the country to those in need.

*Even if they manage to hold the delayed Summer Olympics this year, North Korea will not be attending.

*Global status, as of April 10, 2021.

*Russian Presidents, including current office holder Vladimir Putin, will now be serving longer terms.

*The coup and the protests continue in Myanmar. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*And the winning rider in the 2021 Grand National Horse🏇 Race is...

*Look what we found!

*April 17th marks the 60th anniversary of the failed Bay of Pigs invasion.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…

*American President Biden Administration’s position on terrorism.

*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…🌐

*Look at the dolphins!🐬🐬🐬

*April 13 is International Plant Appreciation Day, the prelude to Earth Day April 22.

*April 14 is Dolphin Day.

😢PASSING PARADE…

*Prince👑 Phillip, the Duke of Edinburgh, is no longer with us.

*Noted New Pulp author Derrick Ferguson has passed away.

*April the Giraffe🦒 has passed away.

*Actress Gloria Henry (TV’s Dennis the Menace, other works) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

*Actor Paul Ritter (James Bond’s Quantum of Solace, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Writer and noted Mad magazine contributor Frank Jacobs is no longer with us.

*Actor Padmanabhan Balachandran (Gandhi, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Voice actor Mark Elliot is no longer with us.

*Actor James Hampton (F Troop, Teen Wolf, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Comedy writer Anne Beatts (Square Pegs, National Lampoon, more) has passed away.

*Actor Walter Olkewicz (Twin Peaks, Grace Under Fire, Seinfeld, other works) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

*Grammy winning rapper DMX (Earl Simmons) is no longer with us.

*Columnist Paul Greenberg has passed away.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…

CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH

*Opinion: Are Republicans lying to their supporters about the riots???

*The REAL reason behind the riots???

*The lawsuits against former “President” Trump over this mess are growing!

*FOX “News” opinion is...

POLITICALLY…

*Trying to resolve problems in America the Trump Administration never addressed: hunger and gun control. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)

*Opinion: The Republican Party is losing military voter support, and members too! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…

*Does ANY of this make sense to you???

*Just what’s going on in Arkansas??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Alabama doesn’t like yoga because of Hindus???

*When will they learn???

😷THE US VERSUS COVID-19…

*The state of your state, from two different sources. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*No water = COVID risk???

*The challenges of getting everyone in America vaccinated.

*Republicans versus vaccines.

*Trump era contracts may keep the US from sending vaccines out of the country to those in need.

*They can brag about THAT???

MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…

*Why so long between meetings???

*NON-Georgia based Republicans are defending the state’s new voter “regulations”.

*Georgia from other perspectives.

*Local opposition to Georgia’s “laws”.

*The Prosecution’s impending case against Florida’s Republican Congressional Representative Matt Gaetz. (There are 5/FIVE separate links in this item.)

*They tried to warn people…

*It’s only a study, NOT a decision.

*Opinion: Mitch McConnell’s future agenda??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

ELSEWHERE…

*Trump still in the courts, but might be safe from some lawsuits since he’s no longer President! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

*Who’s doing who’s dirty work???

*What a U-Turn!

*“Donut Boy”???

*Opinion: Do comic books have a future???

*And the winners of the 2021 Screen Actors’ Guild Awards are...

*Sadly, April 12th marks the 160th anniversary of the American Civil War beginning.

😀AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

*Look what we found!

THE PUZZLE CORNER: APRIL 10, 2021

😎FUN FACT

Every Panda🐼 in captivity (zoos) is technically owned by China and only out on loan to those facilities.

WHO AM I?

Can you identify the person (real or fictitious) based upon the clue below?

“She was the most glorious creature, under the sun. Weiss, DuBarry, Garbo. Rolled into one.”

FAMOUS FIRSTS🥇

What was The Who’s first single?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX📦 and discover the results from the April 3, 2021 Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER

Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

A famous rock group’s bad dreams = Three Dog Nightmares.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE

How many new words can you make out of the letters in EASTER?

Hint: There’s more than you think.

A, are, arse, art(s), as, Aster (type of flower), at, ate

Ear(s), East, eat(s)

Rat(s), rest, reseat, reset

Sat, sea, sear, seat, see, seer, set, star, star, stare, steer

Tar(s), tare(s), tea(s), tear(s), tease, teaser, tee(s), terse

More than the 43 listed above might be possible.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HOPPY EASTER 2021

Hello Every Bunny!

Looking good with my gray hare. 😉

It's your old friend E.B. the Easter Bunny here, bringing everyone some fun Easter jokes.

Don't worry. Not only am I great at stealth deliveries, I was EXTRA careful this year because of that bad pandemic going around.

I had my mask😷 and gloves on during the entire trip.

Anyway, I've been told that Autumn the Puppy and Piper D. Katt have the holiday off to be with their families.

If you had to work today, unless you're in the military, law enforcement, fire prevention, or medical industries; shame on your employers!

And especially to those folks in the medical field, we tip our bonnets to you!

Anyway, these are the yolks, folks!

Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

Who is the Easter Bunny's favorite movie actor?

Currently, it's Rabbit Downey Junior, but of course Bugs Bunny always takes the carrot cake paws down.

Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke?

It might crack up!

How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?

Only one. After that it’s not empty anymore!

What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?

The Easter Barney.

Everybody Bunny Hop! 🐇🐇🐇

What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

Hare mail.

What do you call a group of rabbits marching backward?

A receding hare line!

What is the bunny motto?

"Don't worry, be hoppy."

What’s the best way to make Easter easier?

Put an “i” where the “t” is.

How does Easter end?

With an “R”!

What am I the day after Easter?

Eggshausted! 😉

So on that note♫ it's been fun folks!

As usual I'm gonna hop home, kick back, relax, hang out with the Mrs., the family and my peeps🐣🐤🐥 and take a well deserved carrot🥕 break before I start planning things for next Easter.

Don't worry though.

While I can't say exactly when, things WILL get better.😀

Until then, STAY STRONG, STAY SAFE😷, and HOPPY EASTER EVER BUNNY! —eb.🐰