SUNDAY FUNNIES: CAT CALLS

Cat lover, but NOT ALF style

Hello Everybody. Ms. Waxy Dragon here.
Now long time readers of this e-zine know that I love cats.
No, not the way that furry Melmacian claimed to on TV.
I honestly think that, after dragons of course, cats are the most intelligent animal at least on this planet, if not in the whole universe.
Except for maybe these two characters.
The gray patterned one is named Merlin, because he's tricky.
The other is named Mischief for obvious reasons.
And don't let those innocent looking faces fool you.


Recently their owner, as if anyone can truly 'own' a cat, Nancy A. Hansen found these two fighting over the cordless phone she left sitting on her bed and decided to take a few quick pictures of them at play.
I added the funny captions.

"It's for you."

(Phone starts to ring)
Merlin: Who's disturbing my nap?
Mischief: Not me. Are you disturbing my nap?
Merlin: Not me. It's that thing.
Mischief: Well, you deal with it. I'm tired.
Merlin: Why me? You're closer to it.
Mischief: I don't want anyone to know I'm here. We're not supposed to be sleeping on the bed.
Merlin: We're cats. We sleep anywhere.
Mischief: True.

"You get it!"

(Phone still ringing)
Merlin: Are you going to answer it?
Mischief: No. Me don't want phone bill.
Merlin: Well, I don't want it either. You answer it.
Mischief: No, you.
Merlin: You answer it.
Mischief: You not boss of me.
Merlin: Am too. Was born before you in litter.
Mischief: That only make you older, not boss.

"Me TOP cat!

(Phone still ringing)
Merlin: You get it!
Mischief: No, you!

(Brief cat fight ensues)

The Winners

(Phone stops ringing)
Merlin: It stopped.
Mischief: Yeah.
Merlin: Guess we showed it who's boss.
Mischief: Yes, we did. Now back to nap?
Merlin: Okay.







Okay folks, it should be noted that no phone calls were missed during the making of this post and the cats in question were photographed only in peaceful play.
Otherwise these two and all their kin are quite adorable, although not every cat will admit that publicly. Some of them do have reputations to protect.

That's all for today. Have a great week and please be back here next time for more Sunday Funnies!-wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 22-28, 2012

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley was first published on January 30, 1932, making this coming Monday the novel's 80th anniversary.
For those celebrating, January 31 is observed by Mad magazine as National Gorilla Suit Day.
FEBRUARY IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH.

Amongst events in the news around the world this past week...
*Croatian voters have approved the country's proposed accession to the European Union.
*President Barack Obama gave the 2012 State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress on American television Tuesday night. More in depth coverage of this event is elsewhere on The Free Choice E-zine.
*Arizona Congressional Representative Gabrielle Giffords has resigned her House of Representatives position to devote the time to complete medical rehabilitation after surviving an assassination attempt in 2011.
*The European Union imposed more sanctions against Iran's oil and banking industries because of that country's continued nuclear program.
*Civil unrest continues in Syria, Bahraini, and Somalia.
*Twitter has announced altering their system to allow country specific censoring of individual messages.
*The death toll in the Costa Concordia shipping disaster stands at 15 as the investigation continues.

IN SPORTS:
*The 46th Super Bowl will be played between the NFC's New York Giants and the AFC's New England Patriots to determine 2012 National Football (non soccer version) League champion on February 5.
*Former Pennsylvania State University college football coach Joe Patterno passed away from lung cancer complications.
*New York Yankees catcher Jorge Posada has retired from playing Major League Baseball.

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:
*The 2012 Academy Awards nominations were announced Tuesday and can be accessed at www.oscar.go.com/nominees or on Wikipedia. The winners will be announced February 26 with Billy Crystal hosting the ceremony.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: JANUARY 28, 2012

The weather's mixed around the world this weekend. So whether your in or out, here's some enigmas to keep you company.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two distinct things or phrases share at least one word and can be combined to make something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what it is?

The astronomers at the Royal Observatory in London, England were surprised to discover it was too late to go out and celebrate discovering a new constellation.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each group have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Roy, Jeff, Bob, George, Tom}
02. {Rogers, Jones, Blake, Dinkley}

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's peek inside THE ANSWERS BOX, and discover the results from January 21's Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
What showed warned viewers during its theme song (at least in the English version)
"The writers quit. We have no script. Why bother to rehearse?"
It's time for Animaniacs!

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
What four letter word, when you keep the constants in place and only change the vowel, gives you an item and all the verb tenses of its use?
SONG, because you can SING, SANG, and SUNG.

FANTASY DONE "HANSEN'S WAY"

Our resident poetress of the past, Nancy A. Hansen is taking the New Pulp Fantasy world by storm with her work. And to think, we knew her when. But while we have high hopes that she will contribute more poems when her busy schedule permits, The Free Choice E-zine is excited about and supports her latest endeavor.

FANTASY DONE ‘HANSEN’S WAY’

NEW IMPRINT AND BOOK FROM PRO SE PRESS!

Pro Se Productions, a leading Publisher in the New Pulp Movement, announced its latest release today!  A three story collection entitled ‘Tales of the Vagabond Bards’ written by Nancy Hansen is now available.   Hansen, a prolific author in Pulp Fantasy, follows up her first novel, “Fortune’s Pawn” with this trio of tales set in the same world as the novel, but looking at events through a different set of eyes.

According to Pro Se, “In a time of upheaval, where magick and religion often collide, those who keep the old ways are increasingly shunned and ridiculed. The Vagabond Bards, a dedicated group of musicians, singers, actors, poets, and teachers of the unwritten oral folklore of the Terran Worlds, are finding themselves coming under pressure to disband or face probable imprisonment—even death. For generations these roving men and women have spread throughout the population, dedicating their lives to educating and assisting their fellow Humans while recording and preserving their knowledge and experiences, making sure the tales and knowledge of the past are kept alive throughout the mostly illiterate masses. Sworn to Understand, Love, and Keep the Truth, they now face strong opposition from the upstart religion of Helios the Sun God, whose belief is sweeping the countryside whether the people like it or not, rewriting history and changing their views of the past in the most alarming manner. These are the tales of those heroic troubadours, who fight for justice not with weapons, but with words.”

This exciting collection of fantasy fiction from one of New Pulp’s brightest stars in the genre not only debuts a whole new cast of characters and tales from Nancy, but is also the first volume in Pro Se’s latest author focused imprint: Hansen’s Way!

"There are times when it is mindboggling,” commented Hansen concerning all her work leading to her own imprint, “and I’m surprised I can keep the details straight. When I was approached about having my own imprint—which is an honor for anyone, let alone someone who previous to 2010 was an unknown writer—I immediately thought about all those short stories in the Terran World (the home of the Vagabond Bards, Fortune's Pawn, its forthcoming sequel Prophecy's Gambit, and other adventures to come) and bringing them in under one banner. I have 5 different series on the Terran World right now; each with its own unique setting and recurring characters, and there have been some crossover characters and settings between them. It just makes more sense to keep them under one flagship imprint than scattering them hither and yon in other publications.”

“Nancy is a hit,” stated Tommy Hancock, Partner in and Editor in Chief of Pro Se Press, “both with the company and readers eager to follow her work. Fortune’s Pawn had a great showing not only as a debut novel, but as a fantasy work as well, and Nancy has so many stories bubbling and ready to boil over. Stories that appeal to all sorts of readers: New Pulp fans, fantasy followers, and more!  And now they can all easily find her work by following ‘Hansen’s Way.’”

Hansen’s Way is the latest Pro Se imprint.  Following the announcement mid-2010 of Reese Unlimited, the first Pro Se imprint, Hansen’s Way is the second Author Focused Imprint from the publisher.  “When an author,” Hancock commented, “presents us not only with a large, but solid body of work, such as the imaginative worlds of fantasy whirling around in Nancy’s mind, it makes sense to put them in a package.  Especially when the stories hit a vein with fans as Nancy’s obviously have.” 

“Tales of the Vagabond Bards” is available via Amazon as well as via Pro Se Pulp’s CreateSpace store (https://www.createspace.com/3778916) in print and will be available via Smashwords and Amazon as an ebook within the next week!  With an excellent cover by David Russell and formatting for the print version by Sean Ali and for the ebook by Russ Anderson, this is truly a Pro Se Book to add to your collection!

For more information on this title or any Pro Se publication, email Hancock at proseproductions@earthlink.net and check out Pro Se at www.prosepulp.com!

THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS, 2012

President Obama

United States President Barack Obama fulfilled one of his commitments as President and delivered the annual State of the Union address Tuesday night, January 24, 2012
Below is our coverage of the event, with editorial commentary afterwards between the bold, italicized headers.
(Official White House photo courtesy of Google Images)

In a year when the incumbent is running for reelection, each President starts off by listing the current and past achievements of their administration, and President Obama was no exception.
Then he went on to discuss his hopes and goals not only for the remainder of 2012, but beyond.

President Obama wants to continue (re)building the economy and the infrastructure of America, citing that Congress could take the money no longer being used for war and put half of it towards the national debt and the rest towards improving roads, etc.

To continue working upon the economy, the President went on to propose:
*No tax breaks for companies who outsource jobs.
*Overseas divisions of American based companies should be taxed fairly.
*Financial help for companies that are working in and for America.
*Start improving fair trade practices to "level the playing field".

President Obama then went on to discuss the possibility of establishing a national jobs training program, which led into his discussion of improving education.
*"Stop teaching to the tests!"
*Establishing an initiative for students to stay in high school until they graduate, or at least turn 18.
*Reorganize the student loan and fiance programs so attending college did not immediately result in assuming a mountain of debt upon receiving a diploma.

This led into a brief discussion as to college students who are technically not American citizens at risk of deportation and a desire to address that situation to prevent losing a valuable commodity in this country: our future.

The President then went on to discuss the job market, citing that there had been some improvement, but not as much as he wanted or there should be. "There should be equal pay for equal work", and vowed to support small businesses and start up companies, while saying that big companies should shoulder their responsibilities. "No bailouts, hand outs, or cop outs," and a desire to improve the tax codes and delete obsolete and outdated legislation from the books, like "farmers had to once prove they could contain a milk spill."

Barack Obama expressed the desire to see more clean energy development not only in regards to alternate fuels, but existing resources as well. "We do not need to choose between the environment and the economy."

He used the US Military at both the beginning and end of his speech as an example of how a diverse group of people could unite and accomplish many things, while also promising that the various branches of service would stay strong despite any possible budget cutbacks.

Then after the President concluded his State of the Union address, Mitch Daniels, the Governor of Indiana, gave the Republican rebuttal.

NOW FOR THE ANALYSIS AND EDITORIAL COMMENTARY.
President Obama has plenty of hopes, dreams, and good ideas, but is the first to admit that things are not getting done the way they should be. Several times he called for bipartisan cooperation between Republicans and Democrats. Although neither side is totally innocent in regards to obstructions and rhetoric, the party that hopes to put a new person in the Oval Office come 2013 has the worser track record.

He made several statements to the affect of  "Send me the bill and I'll sign it!" although also made his position clear that he would not support any legislation that attempted to reset things back to the way they were before he became President.

The divisions between the "haves and have nots", more recently labeled as the "1% versus the 99%" were addressed, with President Obama expressing the desire to not only move the country forward, but to make things more equal for everyone. "A secretary should not have to pay more taxes than the CEO she works for."

As you can imagine, there were a lot of moments during the State of the Union address where the Democratic members of Congress in attendance applauded more than their Republican counterparts.

CONCERNING THE REPUBLICAN REBUTTAL...
The only thing I will give the Governor of Indiana credit for was managing to deliver that speech with a straight face.
Mitch Daniels, and by default the Republican Party itself, conceded that a lot of the problems facing America were already in existence before Barack Obama won the election in 2008 and was sworn in as President in 2009, but never went on record to admit who was actually responsible.

He recalled a time when America was "able to send a pension check to retired millionaires" and the (Republican) desire to support (big) businesses in order to make this country great again.

EVERYTHING BETWEEN THE BOLD ITALIC HEADERS WAS AN EDITORIAL ANALYSIS.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Ms. Waxy Dragon here wishing everybody a Happy New Year!
What's that? Today's January 23?
I'm not late by the Lunar calendar.
Today starts the Chinese New Year, also known as the Spring Festival. Although with all that snow I see outside my window right now, Spring might be a little late.

Image courtesy of Google Images

The festivities are basically between now and the upcoming full moon, steep with traditions such as the welcoming of the deities on the first day, visiting with family on the second, and other events leading to the Lantern Festival on the last day.
I have extra reason to celebrate because 2012 is the Year of the Dragon!


Tradition holds that the lunar calendar cycle is based not only upon the phases of the moon, but the Chinese zodiac as well.
Those born (hatched?) during the Year of the Dragon are said to be extremely lucky. Other personality traits include being intellectual, fiery, passionate, decisive, pioneering, magnanimous, stately, vigorous, strong, self assured, proud, noble, direct, dignified, eccentric, artistic, generous, and loyal. That describes us dragons to a tee!
Famous people born during a dragon year include (alphabetically) Juilette Binoche, Sandra Bullock, Courtney Cox, Colin Farrell, Calista Flockhart, Courtney Love, Julie Ormond, Isabella Rossellini, Dinah Shore, and Reese Witherspoon.
But perhaps the person most associated with this is the late martial arts expert Bruce Lee, who was born in the 1940 dragon cycle and found fame first as an instructor, and then as a stunt coordinator-performer before going on to star as Kato in the 1960s television version of The Green Hornet and such feature films as Fists of Fury and The Way of the Dragon.
wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: SPORTING AROUND

"Despite the fur coat, I'm still cold!"

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here.
Ms. Waxy Dragon will be with us tomorrow to kick off the Chinese Lunar New Year since 2012 is the Year of the Dragon.
Now one thing I've noticed about Humans is that you folks love your sports. Whether it's watching or actually participating in them, there is not a day that goes by without sports entering the picture at least once in any 24 hour period.
Right now professional football (not the soccer version) is working its way through the playoffs to determine the two teams that will compete in this year's Super Bowl. Basketball is bouncing at last professionally, and the warmer weather games like baseball and golf will be starting up soon enough.
Personally, I like the warmer weather games.
A warm Spring or Summer day. Fresh green grass to romp and play on. Aah...
Sure beats the winter stuff we've got right now.
So let's get right to it with some sports jokes.

Why did the football player want change for a dollar?
He needed a quarter back.

What is a golfer's favorite letter?
Tee.

How is a baseball team like a pancake?
They both need a good batter.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.

Despite the fact baseball already has Cardinals, Orioles, Blue Jays, Tigers, Cubs, Diamondbacks, and Marlins, (geez, that's a long list) what is actually the best animal to play baseball?
Bats. After all, both teams have plenty whenever they play.

Why did the football player quit after his team mistakenly made a touchdown at their own end zone?
Because they had achieved their goal.

And on that note, we'll wrap it up for now.
Take care everyone. Have a great week, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.-AtP.