BELATED SUNDAY FUNNIES: MIXED BLESSINGS

Hello Everybody. Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior with you once again, and a day late at that!
For that, we must apologize, but it was not the fault of any member of The Free Choice E-zine.

NOT our old computer system. It just seemed like it.

The issue was that Tech Support (a friend, for most of the staff "works" here on a volunteer basis) had been promising to upgrade the E-zine's software when they got the chance.
We had the files backed up for weeks, but Tech Support was a no show, until yesterday.
The good news?
Everything is running great now, as the TFCE office system is up to the latest and greatest software wise, so there is no risk of our computer ever becoming like HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey on us and trying to take over the ship, let alone the universe. 
However, with the unannounced arrival of Tech Support, by the time we were able to get back to using our PC again, it was discovered that what would have been December 8's Sunday Funnies was lost, and it was way too late to contact either of our contributors and ask for a replacement column.
The fact that we were up till 3am overseeing all the updates didn't help.

With that in mind, and considering everything we've been through to get to this point, The Free Choice E-zine would like to run one of our perennial images to illustrate our theme.

This is either a representation of law enforcement on its toes or the ultimate in eternal optimism.
Either way, have a great week folks and please be back here next weekend when the Sunday Funnies returns in all their glory!
Until then.... lh,jr.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: DECEMBER 1-7, 2013

Today marks the 72nd anniversary of the Pearl Harbor Naval Base being attacked, the event which catapulted the United States of America into World War 2.

December 13 marks the 100th anniversary of the first crossword puzzle being published.

Amongst events that have happened around the world this past week...

Nelson Mandela, circa 2008

*The world mourns the passing of anti-apartheid activist and former South African President Nelson Mandela. Many world leaders are expected to attend the memorial service Tuesday, December 10.
*Because of recent events in that country and their consequences, the United Nations has passed resolution #2127; an International Support Mission to the Central African Republic in hopes of stabilizing that region.
*The tallying from Typhoon Haiyan continues, with 5800 confirmed dead, over 26,000 injured, and 1700+ still missing.
*A previously unknown island in the Laptev Sea has been named Yaya.
*Comet ISON broke up after skimming the sun.
*Actor Paul Walker has passed away following an auto accident.
*The United States Supreme Court has agreed to hear the debate over whether or not software can be patented.
*Civil unrest continues in Iran, Thai, Syria, and Afghanistan.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: DECEMBER 7, 2013

In all honesty, there are a lot of topics we could cover this weekend. The passing of Nelson Mandela, the 100th anniversary of the crossword puzzle December 13th (although unfortunately, this forum still cannot produce interactive grids), today marking the 72nd anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor which catapulted the United States of America into World War 2.
But instead, let's take a break and start getting ready for Christmas.

REBUS
It's time to put up the holiday tree, but we cannot resist having a little fun doing so.
A familiar word and/or phrase is represented by our decorating.
Do you know what it is?

TRIVIA TIME
While we were decorating, Christmas music was playing on the radio.
Do you know what the most (re)recorded song of all time is?

We'll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let's open up THE ANSWERS BOX that somebody left under the tree and discover the results of the November 30th Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Based upon our clue: "A team up between Jan Eliot and Rick Stromoski might be interesting, but would not create an edible menu choice" is STONE SOUP TO NUTZ, a combination of their respective comic strips Stone Soup and Soup to Nutz.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
Out of the letters in the word THANKSGIVING, you can spell the following words:
A, aging, ah, akin, an, angst, as, at
gag(s), gain(s), giant(s), gas, gat(s) <old 1930's slang for guns>, gig(s), gin(s), gist, git(s) <Hillbilly slang for scram/get>, giving
hag(s), haggis <a Scottish delicacy>, hang(s), has, hat(s), having, hi <short form of "hello">, hiking, hint(s), hit(s)
I,  ink(s), in(s), inn(s), is, it, its
kin, king(s), kit(s), knight(s), knit(s), nag(s), nigh, night(s)
sag, saint, sank, sat, saving, shag <a type of carpeting>, sight, sighting, sign, signing, sink, sinking, sin, shin, shining, sit, skin, skit, snag, snit, stag, staging, stain, staining, stank, sting, stinging, stink, stinking
tag(s), tan(s), tank(s), than, thank(s), thin(s), thing(s), think(s), this, tin
vain, vat(s), visit, Viking(s), (AND) vista.
Other words besides the 117 above might be possible. But IV (the medical term) didn’t count because it’s an abbreviation. The Roman numerals II and IV are debatable, but the cuss word for human waste was not listed since this is a family oriented E-zine.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THE LETTER SHUFFLE

An old photo, but it's still me.

Hi folks! Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here with you today, because both Autumn the Puppy and Waxy Dragon have the Thanksgiving holiday weekend off.

Now, when my turn comes to host this feature, I'm usually at a loss in regards to figuring out what to present. But not this time!

One of the many features of our Puzzle Corner (which appears every Saturday on this website) is called The Letter Shuffle, where you take the letters of one specific word or phrase and see how many new words you can make out of it.

Not every potential candidate is viable for this game, but I have been saving some of the more humorous ones for a special occasion, and there's no time like the present!

Amongst the stars, an ASTRONOMER is also a MOON STARER!
(Astronomer = Moon Starer. Get it? Got it? Good, because if you have to explain a bit, then it might not be funny. Let's continue...)

What do THE EYES do? THEY SEE.

What was the major accomplishment of GEORGE BUSH in the 2000 United States Presidential election?
HE BUGS GORE! (A reference to the massive recount and the hanging chads in Florida.) So that makes ELECTION RESULTS... LIES, LET'S RECOUNT!

When the message is in THE MORSE CODE, HERE COME DOTS.

To some students, a DORMITORY is just a DIRTY ROOM away from home.

What does the main function of a SLOT MACHINE seem to be? CASH LOST IN ME.

ANIMOSITY...  IS NO AMITY.

Any way you do the math...

When trying to rest, SNOOZE ALARMS actually mean ALAS, NO MORE Z'S.

When THE EARTH QUAKES, you feel THAT QUEER SHAKE in the ground.

13 is ELEVEN PLUS TWO or TWELVE PLUS ONE.

What does A DECIMAL POINT think of its position in a number? "I'M A DOT IN PLACE."

Well, I got through another one folks! But I'll have to do one more Sunday Funnies fill-in the weekend between Christmas and New Year's 2014. See you then!

Thankfully, our regular comediennes return next week for more Sunday Funnies.--lth,jr.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 24-30, 2013

Today is SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY here in the United States, where consumers are urged to support smaller retailers, which is actually something everyone should do every chance they get!

Amongst events happening around the world this past week...

*Iran has signed a temporary agreement for limiting its nuclear program in exchange for reduced sanctions.
*Vietnam has passed a new constitution that reaffirms the power of the Communist Party in that country.
*Angola has denied any allegations of banning Islam in that country.
*Archaeologists might have discovered the earliest known Buddhist shrine at the Maya Devi Temple in Lumbini, Nepal.
*Three unpublished short stories by J. D. Salinger (The Catcher In The Rye) have been leaked online, against the wishes of the late author and his estate.
*An official, but preliminary final report regarding the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting of 2012 in Connecticut, USA has revealed no clear motive for suspect Adam Lanza to do what he did, but confirmed that he DID plan the shooting in advance!
*France has announced plans to intervene in the current Central African Republic conflict.
*Civil unrest continues in Syria, Iran, Thai, and Afghanistan.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or else visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: NOVEMBER 30, 2013

Despite the fact that this week marked both Thanksgiving, as well as the start of Hanukkah and the 2013 Christmas shopping season, we are proud to present our regularly scheduled Puzzle Corner.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate things have at least one word in common, so can be combined to form a new item.
Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

A team up between Jan Eliot and Rick Stromoski might be interesting, but would not create an edible menu choice.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
How many new words can you spell out of the letters in the word THANKSGIVING?

We'll reveal all next weekend. But for now, let's peek inside THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the November 23, 2013 Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME: JOHN F. KENNEDY
November 22nd marked the 50th anniversary of the former President being taken from the world prematurely.
01. What was the most famous posting during Kennedy's World War 2 service? Motor Torpedo Boat PT-109.
02. Kennedy held what major public offices before running for the Presidency? He was both a Senator and a member of the House of Representatives in Congress, representing the state of Massachusetts.
03. Who did Kennedy run against for the Presidency in 1960? Richard Nixon, who was then the Vice-President for and hoping to succeed the outgoing Dwight David Eisenhower.
04. What was Jacqueline Kennedy's full name before marriage? Jacqueline Lee Bouvier
05. Fill-in the blank: Kennedy was the 35th President of the United States.

TRIVIA TIME: DOCTOR WHO
November 23rd marked the 50th anniversary of the BBC science fiction series.
01. Fill-in the blanks: The Doctor is a Time Lord, originally from the planet Gallifrey.
02. He travels through time and space in a TARDIS, which is an acronym for what?

Image (c) BBC

Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.
03. Why does the TARDIS always look like a blue police call box? Because the Chameleon Circuit broke after arriving on Earth and assuming the first disguise/shape it took.
04. Fill-in the blank: Many actors have been able to play the title role over the five decades (thus far) because the title character is able to regenerate.
05. The original broadcast of the very first episode (part 1 of An Unearthly Child) was delayed for over an hour for what reason? Extended news coverage of the John F. Kennedy assassination the day before. But part 1 was reran the following week in its regular time slot, and the rest is history.

BLACK FRIDAY 2013

THE FOLLOWING IS AN EDITORIAL.

As I post this, it is still about two hours from midnight (Eastern Time in the United States of America) Friday and what was the traditional start of the Christmas shopping season: the day after Thanksgiving, and the wee hours known as "Black Friday". 

The term is not politically incorrect but, depending upon which theory you believe, refers to either the retailers' hope that their profit margins go from the redness of debt to the blackness of profit; or the more modern theory that the name is derived from the fact that a lot of stores would open long before sunrise that day!

BUT NO MORE!

Thanksgiving is fast becoming just another business day for many retailers, provided they even bothered to close Wednesday night! There are now overnight ads and sales extended well beyond the original pre-dawn frenzy of years past.

Whether or not this strategy is actually successful, after you figure in such costs as employee salaries, security, advertising expenses, etc; remains to be seen.

Folks, I don't know about you, but I seriously think this concept is getting a bit out of hand!

Whatever happened to staying home on a holiday and enjoying the simpler things in life, like family and friends?

I personally have yet to shop any Black Friday event, regardless of when it actually started. Having worked in the retail industry for over twenty years until heart problems took me out of "the game", my sympathies go towards the employees who have to work those long, weird schedules instead of being with their loved ones.

So, while it still has some appropriateness, I'd like to close this missive with the poem I ran this time last year.

SOME DARE BRAVE THE GLOOM OF BLACKEST NIGHT
QUESTING FOR BARGAINS UPON THEIR TREK
HITTING EVERY SALE BEFORE DAYLIGHT

ME? I PLANNED WELL AHEAD
NO NERVES, CREDIT, OR CAR SUFFERED WRECK
JUST RESTFUL SLUMBER WITHIN MY OWN BED.

Sincerely,
Lee Houston, Junior
Editor-In-Chief: The Free Choice E-zine.

THE ABOVE WAS AN EDITORIAL.