Monday, February 8, 2016

HAPPY CHINESE LUNAR NEW YEAR 2016!

Today marks the beginning of the New Year, as far as everyone observing the Lunar calendar are concerned.
It's also the first day of the Spring Festival.
For those celebrating, it is also the year of the (Fire) Monkey in the Chinese Zodiac.
So

Sunday, February 7, 2016

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THE "SUPER" GAME (football jokes)

Hello Folks! Once again, you have BOTH Waxy
Dragon AND Autumn the Puppy here with you as we celebrate the end of football season and sports widows everywhere discover they still have husbands.

Within a couple of hours from our posting this installment of the Sunday Funnies, provided you still have electricity and cable service after the recent snowstorms, the "BIG" and final football game of the season will begin, for only licensed advertisers and some authorized news outlets can call the event by it's formal title.

Anyway, let us celebrate the coming spring, and BASEBALL season!

The visiting Englishman was asked by his American host, "Did you ever play
football?"
"No, sir; but at dear old Oxford we played Rugby."
"How is that played?"
"Well, sir, it consists of a lot of shin kicking."
"Well, in this country we call that bridge," replied the American.

Why did the NFL football team go to the phone booth?
To get their Quarter back.

How do football players stay cool during the game?
They stand close to the fans.

And of course, NO Sunday Funnies post concerning football would be complete without this great YouTube video featuring Andy Griffith's comedy classic: "What it was, was football".



Have a great week everybody, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd and AtP.

CATCHING UP: THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2016

BECAUSE OF THE RECENT SNOWSTORM AFFECTING OUR AREA, THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE IS JUST NOW GETTING BACK ON LINE AND ABLE TO RESUME OPERATIONS. THE PUZZLE CORNER WILL RETURN FEBRUARY 13, MAKING THIS BELATED INSTALLMENT OF THE WEEK IN REVIEW OUR 1600th BLOGGER POST.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*The World Health Organization has issued an International Public Health Emergency bulletin, due to the rapid spread of Zika Fever in Latin America.
*North Korea has announced it is planning an "Earth observation rocket launch" in the near future, against United Nations' sanctions saying otherwise.
*Twitter claims to have closed down 125,000 accounts linked to ISIS/ISIL terrorists.

TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*Suicide bombers are still the recent "weapon" du jour, with numerous incidents reported over the past week, killing many civilians as well as military "targets".

PASSING PARADE...
*Comedian Bob Elliot, the surviving partner of the famous comedy duo Bob & Ray, is no longer with us.
*Famous animation voice actor Joe Alaskey (too many credits to mention all) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Maurice White of Earth, Wind, and Fire has passed away.
*Edgar Whitcomb, astronaut aboard Apollo 14, is no longer with us.
*Television music composer Ray Colcord (The Facts of Life, Boy Meets World, Big Brother) has passed away.
*Noted San Franciscan musician Dan Hicks is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*The 2016 primary season kicked off with the Iowa Caucuses. Democratically, Hillary Clinton narrowly beat Bernie Sanders, and despite a persistent rumor since then, there were no "coin tosses" involved!
*On the Republican side, Ted Cruz came in first, while Donald Trump finished second; despite the fact the question of whether or not Cruz is even eligible to run because of his Canadian birth certificate remains unanswered.
*Meanwhile, Trump is accusing Cruz of "voter fraud".
*Since the Iowa Caucus, the other Democratic candidate Martin O'Malley has suspended his campaign. Republicans Mike Huckabee, Rand Paul, and Rick Santorum have suspended their campaigns as well, while Republican hopeful Ben Carson has (temporarily?) closed his campaign offices again.
*As part of his upcoming final Federal budget, President Barack Obama will allegedly propose raising the tax on crude oil by $10 a barrel in order to fund infrastructure spending.
ELSEWHERE...
*If you put any stock in such reports, Punxsutawney Phil did NOT see his shadow, allegedly meaning six weeks of good weather and an early spring.
*The 50th Super Bowl, to be held February 7th, will be between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers.

THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE ended January 2016 with 2,841 page views, thus continuing our over 2 year streak!

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

ARE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE: 2016 EDITION

THE FOLLOWING IS AN EDITORIAL.


For those living within the United States of America, the process has begun to determine who the Democratic and Republican candidates will be on the November 8th ballot to decide who will become the next President.

But with (alleged) gerrymandering and new voter registration rules in some areas, there are people complaining it is now more difficult to become an official registered voter than in years past.

SO WHY WAIT?

IF YOU'RE NOT ALREADY REGISTERED TO VOTE, DO SO!

This is a VERY IMPORTANT ELECTION NOVEMBER 8th!

Regardless of who you want to see in the White House come January 2017,
IF YOU'RE NOT REGISTERED, YOU CAN'T VOTE!

If you haven't done so, REGISTER NOW!


THE ABOVE WAS AN EDITORIAL.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

GROUNDHOG'S DAY 2016

A groundhog, shadow optional
Hello Everybody!

If you put any stock into such a furry weather forecast, Punxsutawney Phil of
Gobbler's Knob, Pennsylvania; along with his brethren Staten Island Chuck in New York, General Beau Lee of Georgia, and Shubenacadie Sam in Canada all could not see their shadows this morning and claim there will be six weeks of mild weather followed by an early Spring.

Whether or not this comes true remains to be seen, but just like the reoccurring nightmare of that February 2nd themed movie starring Bill Murray, here's our annual Groundhog's Day treat for you...


The Scales of Justice
“Is this the law firm of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe?” asked the lady as she walked in my front door.
“Yes it is,” I replied. “I’m Howie Cheatum. And you are--?”
“Susan Woo,” she replied, “but you can call me Sue.”
“Okay Sue. And what can I do for you today?”
“I want to engage your services to represent myself as I initiate a law suit.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right place. Who do you want to sue?”
“Punxsutawney Phil.”
“You want to sue who?” I asked in disbelief.
“Not myself silly. Punxsutawney Phil.”
“The groundhog?” I asked, trying to confirm what I heard the first time.
“Yes, that filthy animal,” replied Sue.
“Why?”
“Because this year he/it claimed we would have six weeks of relatively mild weather and an early spring. None of that came true. I couldn’t break out my spring wardrobe when I wanted to. I hurt my back shoveling the driveway myself because I dismissed the snow plow service early thinking I wouldn’t need them any more this season. Should I go on?”
“No, I get the idea. And on what grounds would you like to initiate this lawsuit?”
“Don’t you think at a courthouse would be best?” she asked.
“What I meant was, for what reasons did you want to sue?”
“I figured breach of promise at the very least, and whatever else is applicable,” she replied. “The late winter has just totally ruined spring, and who knows just how that is going to affect summer. The trees are barely beginning to bud as it is. Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if fall arrives on time anyway and cuts whatever is left of spring and summer short this year.”
“I see,” I said, pausing momentarily to wonder why I always got stuck with the live ones. “Let me look up some reference material on the subject,” I said, before turning to use my computer terminal. After a couple of minutes on Wikipedia, I said, “You do realize that this is all just traditional superstition dating back to at least the 1800s in America and at least the fifth century in Europe.”
“So, that means that Punxsutawney Phil should have been a lot more accurate in his prediction than he actually was, right?”
“Well, that’s one way of looking at it,” I agreed while reading the data some more. “While he only has a 39% accuracy rating, it says here that Punxsutawney Phil isn’t the only one who is used to predict the weather.”
“Oh?”
“There’s Jimmy the Groundhog in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin; Holtsville Hall and Dunkirk Dave, wherever they reside, all said that there would be six more weeks of winter. Phil and a bunch of others on this list all predicted an early spring,” I said, showing her what it said on my computer monitor.
“Good. Let’s start a class action suit and go after all of them!”
Then again...
“It just doesn’t quite work that way. The animals themselves never specifically said what the weather would be. Humans just interpreted the situational conditions as best they could.”
“Well let’s sue them,” said Sue.
“That doesn’t work either. None of them were trained professionals paid to do that job. It would be like me trying to predict the weather just by looking out the window.”
“Then are you suggesting that I should sue the weathermen?”
“Actually, you don’t have a case against anybody involved with Groundhog’s Day predictions. That’s all they were, just predictions. None were legally binding.”
“Then can I sue you?”
“For what?” I asked in disbelief.
“For not taking my case.”
While it would not actually get far in the court system, in this day and age, I’d be surprised if she didn’t find somebody willing to take the case.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DOG LESSONS (misc. jokes)

"Class is in session."
Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here!
Now I've been around the block a few times already.
Usually at the end of a leash, but that doesn't mean I haven't learned a few things.
For example:

Unless you're the head dog on the sled team, the view never changes.

Careful when you follow the masses.
Sometimes the M is silent.

It was a sad day when I discovered that the universal remote did not control the universe, not even remotely.

Never let an old flame burn you twice.

Ambiguity: What happens in vagueness stays in vagueness.

The secret for a clean kitchen is: don't ever cook.
Then again, I eat off the floor to help keep it clean...

You are what you eat. Don't be fast, cheap, or fake.

On that note, have a great week everybody, and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 24-30, 2016

JANUARY 31 IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN NAURU.
FEBRUARY 4 IS THE 75th ANNIVERSARY OF THE USO.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK...
*Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa has been elected the new President of the Portuguese Republic.
*Hilda Heine has been elected President of the Marshall Islands by local Parliament, becoming the country's first female president.
*In France: taxi drivers, air traffic controllers and school teachers have gone on strike over working conditions and competition from non-traditional services such as Uber.
*A computer program called AlphaGo, powered by DeepMind, beat the European Go champion Fan Hui, 5-0, in the ancient Chinese abstract strategy board game.


TERRIBLE TERRORIST ACTIVITIES...
*Boko Haram suicide bombers killed at least 32 people and injured 66 others in northern Cameroon.
*An ISIS/ISIL suicide bomber killed at least 22 people, including a dozen soldiers at a Syrian Army checkpoint in Homs.
*Several more suicide bomber attacks have been reported across the Middle East this past week.
PASSING PARADE...
*Actor Frank Finlay (The Pianist, The Three Musketeers) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*Paul Kantner, musician and co-founder of Jefferson Airplane, is no longer with us.
*Marvin Minsky, famous scientist in the field of Artificial Intelligence, has passed away.
*Actor Abe Vigoda (The Godfather, Barney Miller, Fish) has taken his last bow on life's stage.
*British explorer Henry Worsley died while attempting to be the first person to cross Antarctica unaided.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
POLITICALLY...
*The race to determine who shall be the next President of the United States begins in earnest with the Iowa Caucuses February 1st.
*While he still will not discuss his plans post-January 2017, President Barack Obama has publicly stated that, even if was legal for him to do so, he would not have sought a third term.
ELSEWHERE...
*U.S. federal authorities have finally arrested militia leader Ammon Bundy and several of his followers following an exchange of gunfire at a traffic stop on U.S. Route 395 in Harney County, Oregon.
*New York State park system officials have proposed a temporary "shut off" of the American Falls portion of Niagara Falls within three years to replace two 115-year-old pedestrian stone bridges that are unsafe.
*Facebook and its photo-sharing subsidiary Instagram, have officially banned private, person-to-person sales of guns via its services.
*A "mega yacht" is suspected of destroying 80% of West Bay's protected Caribbean coral reef.
*BELIEVE IT OR NOT: A Kentucky high school student was forced to kneel so school officials could determine whether or not her dress was too short!
*The 50th Super Bowl will be between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers February 7th.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.