Sunday, March 27, 2022

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: FRUIT FUNNIES

Meow Folks! Piper D. Katt here!

Some people claim that "An apple๐ŸŽ a day keeps the doctor away."
Now I can't picture someone buying their doctor an expensive computer, I Phone or other electronic device every day, so I'm assuming they're talking about the fruit; but how does that work?
Do you throw the apple at the doctor? Do you eat it? Make the doctor eat it?

In any event, it just goes to show that no matter how I spend the remainder of my nine lives that I'll never fully understand Humans, but it does present me the chance to tell some funny fruit jokes. Ready?

Why are bananas๐ŸŒ never lonely?
They hang around in bunches!

What do you call a Fruit Loop in a bowl of Cheerios?
Pumkin Pi, anyone?
Lost.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?๐Ÿ
Only finding HALF a worm!๐Ÿ˜ฒ

What do you call a bunch of berries playing music together?
A jam session. ๐Ÿ˜‰

What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
Nectarines.

Where do you learn to make banana๐ŸŒ splits?
In sundae๐Ÿจ school.

What can you supply when a lemon๐Ÿ‹ needs help?
Lemon aid.

What did the fruit say when asked to run away and get married with her true love?
"Cantaloupe tonight. Dad's got the car."

For those who came in late, putting an Apple I Phone into a blender does NOT produce apple juice!

Do scarecrows like strawberries?๐Ÿ“

Why did the banana๐ŸŒ go to the doctor?
It was ‘peeling’ bad.

Do shellfish grow crabapples? ๐Ÿ˜•

And remember, knowledge is knowing tomatoes๐Ÿ… are a fruit and not a vegetable.
Wisdom is remembering NOT to put tomatoes in a fruit salad.

So on that note♫ take care.
STAY SAFE! ๐Ÿ˜ท
And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

Saturday, March 26, 2022

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 20-27, 2022

BAN BOOK BANNINGS AND BURNINGS!
GET VACCINATED, WEAR YOUR MASK๐Ÿ˜ท
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

WILL YOU BE OBSERVING EARTH HOUR TONIGHT?
MARCH 26 IS BANGLADESH’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
MARCH 27 IS THE 70TH ANNIVERSARY OF SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN.
APRIL 1 IS APRIL FOOLS DAY.
APRIL 2 IS WORLD AUTISM AWARENESS DAY.
APRIL 3 IS THE 85TH ANNIVERSARY OF
LOONEY TUNES’ PETUNIA PIG’S DEBUT IN “PORKY’S ROMANCE”

AM๐Ÿ˜ทNGST EVENTS AROUND THE W๐ŸŒRLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*COVID and its variants continue to be a global problem. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Thankfully the vaccination battles continue too. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of March 26, 2022.
*Unfortunately “civil” war continues in Somalia and Yemen. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Was the revenge justified??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*March 29 is the 55th anniversary of France’s first nuclear submarine: Le Redoutable. Decommissioned in 1991, it’s now a sub museum.

*“Surrender or else!”—Putin to Mariupol, Ukraine. “NO/NYET!”—Mariupol, Ukraine to Putin. So he shells them. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Russia has completed the “first phase” of the invasion, or have they??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: Putin’s errors
*Opinion: A draw instead???
*Opinion: Moscow 2042 today???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…๐ŸŒ

PASSING PARADE…๐Ÿ˜ข
*Fox News cameraman Pierre Zakrzewski and Ukrainian journalist Oleksandra "Sasha" Kuvshynova, killed while reporting on Russia’s invasion of the Ukraine.
*Madeleine Albright, the United States’ first female Secretary of State, has passed away.
*Singer/song writer, producer Keith Martin (various hits) is no longer with us.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*Former “President” Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating
families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021
>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
*“Either my opponent can’t do it or we both can.”—Georgia Governor Hopeful Stacey Abrams.
*Donald Trump is suing Hillary Clinton over the 2016 Presidential election despite the fact he won. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*“It will be in our town but we can’t collect the taxes?”—City of Mason versus the state of Tennessee over an impending Ford manufacturing plant.
*Opinion: Why is Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson getting no respect??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
๐Ÿ˜ทTHE US VERSUS COVID-19…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Voter Fraud??? Ask your wife. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“You should leave.”—Kevin McCarthy to Jeff Fortenberry. HE IS! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
THE CONGRESSIONAL REVIEW OF KETANJI BROWN JACKSON’S SUPREME COURT NOMINATION...
*DAY 1: Let the debates and misinformation begin. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*DAY 2: Faith, “Anti-racist babies” and Senators Graham versus Durbin. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*DAY 3: At least Senator Jon Ossoff stayed on topic, despite MULTIPLE interruptions and a possible false witness during the proceedings. (There are 5/FIVE separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: Q Anon and FOX “News” should NOT have a “say” in the matter. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*Opinion: Why is Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson getting no respect??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
ELSEWHERE…
*Was the revenge justified??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*March 29 marks the 60th anniversary of then host Jack Paar retiring from The Tonight Show.

๐Ÿ˜€AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: MARCH 26, 2022

๐Ÿ˜ŽFUN FACT
“Good people don’t need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will always try to find a way around those laws.”—Plato.

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate items share at least one word, and so can be combined to create something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?
Noon Time Recreation?

NUMBER PLEASE
Get ready! We ask the question, but the answer is just a number.
How many dimples are on a regulation golf ball?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX๐Ÿ“ฆ and discover the results from the March 19, 2022 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Goose, Viper} = They’re characters from the Top Gun movie(s).
02. {Dock, Wine} = port.

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image on the left. Do you know what it is?
Spring is just around the corner. We hope.

Sunday, March 20, 2022

MARK HALEGUA'S THE BLUE LIGHT

A very special book in memory of one of pulpdom’s most enthusiastic fans and historians, the late Mark Halegua of New York City who passed away in 2021.๐Ÿ˜ž

In the midst of the Great Depression, Robert Ackers is an average guy trying to earn his living as a writer living in New York City. When a strange alien medallion comes into his possession and introduces him to an alien entity with incredible powers, his life is altered forever. 

The being “in” the medallion has the ability to turn mild mannered Ackers into a bonafide super hero, one encased in a seven foot shell of pure blue light. With super strength, invisibility, speed and even telepathy, the Blue Light arrives on the scene with a bang and becomes the dreaded foe of the local mobs and a hero to the people. 

But all isn’t fun and games as Ackers new career puts not only him in danger, but also those around him who he cherishes, especially his new girlfriend Sarah Baker.
Inspired by the notes and existing rough draft of the late Mark Halegua, writers Nancy Hansen and Lee Houston Jr. spin a wild and crazy story that is thrilling, humorous and always fun from the first page to the last.  Art Director Rob Davis provides the cover and artist Sam Salas the interior illustrations.
The Blue Light is here to stay.

“Mark was one of the first people I met when entering the world of pulp fandom,” related Airship 27 Managing Editor Ron Fortier. “He was also one of the biggest New York Yankees fans in the world and when he learned I was a Red Sox fan well, there was no stopping his amusing jabs whenever we would hook up at pulp cons.” Over time Halegua embraced the birth of the New Pulp movement and became one of its strongest supporters, never failing to promote it whenever he could. 

“It was Mark’s dream to become a pulp writer,” Fortier concludes. “Nancy and Lee and the entire Airship 27 team are proud to have made that dream a reality. Mark was a kind and loving soul and will live forever in our hearts.”

Nancy Hansen remembers, "Though sadly we never met in person, I became friends with Mark online through The Pulp Factory, and he would always joke around about my alleged dark chocolate 'habit' and how I protected my 'stash' better than the US Government guarded Fort Knox with traps worthy of Jack Benny's legendary vault. He started private messaging me on Twitter first about the book he was writing, then in the Fall of 2019 about his health issues. As  time went on he needed help with the book, but it reached the point where I was busy with the western I was working on at the time, which had a short deadline to begin with that they had already extended once on my behalf. So I asked Mark would it be okay if fellow writer Lee Houston Junior went over it with him."

"Which is where I come in. While also only being an online friend I did what I could, even going over the existing manuscript of the time once more," Lee remembers. "Unfortunately I got busy too, then Mark suddenly went radio silent. Ron eventually learned that Mark had passed away alone in his apartment.๐Ÿ˜ข

"So in late March 2020 Team Blue, a term coined for everyone involved, was formed," Lee added.
"Between Nancy and I with Ron's support, we went over the manuscript while compiling Mark's notes and comments from past Twitter and email posts.
"Mark lit the way and after pooling everything he ever wrote about the project, left us with about 2/3 of a completed rough/first draft—around what is now Chapter 18 of the novel—we polished and finished the manuscript."

"Mark was a good friend to all, so this was something we could do to honor his memory and give him the chance to have his name on a cover and his work read by many. Finishing it took up a chunk of last year, but it was a labor of love," adds Nancy.

Mark Halegua's The Blue Light is now available in print paperback and Kindle E-Book from Amazon.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WAITING FOR SPRING TO—YOU KNOW

HI FOLKS! KODA CANINE HERE!
What? I'm shouting?๐Ÿ˜•
Oops. Sorry.๐Ÿ˜”
I'm just excited to be here on this first day of Spring! I can't wait to get outside and romp safely in my yard.
If the weather ever cooperates.
Does anyone know where Spring actually is right now?
Is it stuck in traffic or what?
I'm also curious about this thing called "Spring Fever".
Is it contagious?
Curable?
Is it something I should go to my Vet and get vaccinated for?
I will if I have to, but I hate where she sticks the thermometer!

In any event, it's joke time!๐Ÿ˜€

Every Human thinks they have the best dog.
I may be a dog, but I do my fair share around here!
None of them are wrong.
Now in regards as to who is the TOP Dog, we'll have to get back to you on that because us canines are still arguing debating that.

One dog to another: “Are you a pure bred?”
The Other Dog: “Yes. My mother was a dog, and my father was a dog. I am pure dog."

A Human tried to trick his fellow people by claiming he walked six miles every day until they discovered "Six Miles" was the name of his dog.

I overheard my people talking at the breakfast table this morning.
The adults were trying to figure out which cereal was the healthiest to eat while their kids wanted to know what toy prize was in the box.
What I want to know is, how come my food doesn't come with prizes?

Once winter is truly over, does that mean corduroy pillow cases will no longer be making headlines?
Now why isn't this done everywhere?


What if there was no Google?
Hmm...Good question.
Maybe I should Google it and find out. 

So on that note♫ Take Care.
STAY SAFE!๐Ÿ˜ท
And please be back with us next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!KC.

Saturday, March 19, 2022

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: MARCH 13-19, 2022

 BAN BOOK BANNINGS AND BURNINGS!


GET VACCINATED, WEAR YOUR MASK๐Ÿ˜ท
& BEWARE ANY VERSION OF

SPRING IS SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE MARCH 20.
MARCH 22 IS WORLD CLEAN WATER DAY.
MARCH 23 IS THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL.
MARCH 24 IS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE GODFATHER MOVIE.
MARCH 25 IS GREECE’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
MARCH 26 IS BANGLADESH’S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
MARCH 27 IS THE 70TH ANNIVERSARY OF SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN.
2022 IS THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY OF THREE’S COMPANY.

AM๐Ÿ˜ทNGST EVENTS AROUND THE W๐ŸŒRLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*COVID and its variants continue to be a global problem. (There are 4/FOUR separate links in this item.)
*Thankfully the vaccination battles continue too. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*The state of the world, as of March 19, 2022.
*March 24 is the 140th anniversary of scientist Robert Koch confirming the existence of tuberculosis bacillus, otherwise known as TB.

*An American journalist has been killed by Russian forces. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*Via satellite, Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky addressed the United States Congress on his country's status.
*Russia has sanctioned past and present US officials, EXCEPT Donald Trump??? One on the list responds. (There are 3/THREE separate links in this item.)
*The Ukraine fights back, for their freedom and independence! (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“Just trying to help.”—Arnold Schwarzenegger.
*Opinion: Does Putin believe his own lies??? He’s certainly worried about "traitors" within his midst. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

THE CLIMATE CHANGE CHRONICLES…๐ŸŒ
*March 22 is World Clean Water Day. How’s your water supply doing?

๐Ÿ˜ขPASSING PARADE…
*The innocent lives lost during the Russian invasion of the Ukraine.
*Former Zambia President Rupiah Banda has passed away.
*American journalist Brent Renaud was killed in the line of duty while covering Russia’s invasion of the Ukraine.
*Actor William Hurt (Body Heat, Altered States, much more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional race car driver Vic Elford has run his last race.
*Former professional baseball player⚾ Ralph Terry is no longer with us.
*Actor Akira Takarada (the Godzilla franchise, other Kaiju movies, video game voice work) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Actor Peter Bowles (Rumpole of the Bailey, To The Manor Born, more) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
THE BORDER WALL-KIDS-IMMIGRATION ISSUES…
*Former “President” Trump declared a “national emergency” to build his border wall, separating
families upon apprehension. President Joseph Biden nullified the emergency, but other matters pertaining to these issues still have to be dealt with.
*Texas’ latest scapegoat, while “fighting” the White House on Immigration. (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
NOTE: While we are doing our best to provide coverage, the above is a serious, ongoing issue. Especially since no one has yet to fully discuss the health and safety of all the “detainees” as well as the various costs under Donald Trump of separating families and who is truly responsible for the deaths of FOUR “detainees” (known to date), let alone if anyone might actually be making a profit from this situation.
CAPITAL CHAOS: JANUARY 6, 2021>AFTERMATH
POLITICALLY…
SOCIAL (IN)JUSTICE…
*Is Trump trying to literally start a war against Critical Race Theory??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
*“No abortions, no matter what.”—Wisconsin state Rep. Timothy Ramthun.
*March 25 marks the 35th anniversary of the Supreme Court approving employers creating “better balance” and Equal Opportunities in work force by promoting/hiring women and minorities over white men, a practice other countries were already doing to some extent.
๐Ÿ˜ทTHE US VERSUS COVID-19…
IT’S FACT CHECK TIME!
MEANWHILE, IN CONGRESS…
*Via satellite, Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky addressed the United States Congress on his country's status.
*With everything Congress has to address, will there be PERMANENT Daylight Savings Time???
ELSEWHERE…
*Is Trump trying to literally start a war against Critical Race Theory??? (There are 2/TWO separate links in this item.)
๐Ÿ˜€AND FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS…

THE PUZZLE CORNER: MARCH 19, 2022

๐Ÿ˜ŽFUN FACT
The dot over a lower case i or j is officially known as a Tittle.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common. Do you know what it is?
01. {Goose, Viper}
02. {Dock, Wine}

REBUS
Something familiar is represented in the image on the right.
Do you know what it is?

We’ll reveal all next weekend but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX๐Ÿ“ฆ and discover the results from the March 12, 2022 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, ALSO KNOWN AS
What does “Erin Go Bragh” mean?
In English, basically “Ireland Forever.” ๐Ÿ€

TRIVIA TIME
Who was the group Herman’s Hermits named after?
The group originally thought they were naming themselves after Mister Peabody’s adopted boy, but Peter Noone and company later discovered the cartoon character’s name was actually SHERMAN.

Thursday, March 17, 2022

SAINT PATRICK'S DAY 2022

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY me fine lads and lasses.
Has it truly been a year since I was here last?
O'boy how times flies.

Besides honoring the Patron Saint of the Emerald Isle, March 17 is also Saint Gertude's Day.
Patrick may have driven the snakes out of Ireland, and I haven't seen any of those reptiles around lately meself, Gertude is the Patron Saint of Cats๐Ÿฑ, but please don't call her a crazy cat lady.

In any event Larry the Leprechaun here, pausing to celebrate with everyone as part of all the events on me long agenda for today.
Of course, said agenda is still seriously altered by the COVID-19 Pandemic.
Things may be improving now that there be vaccine(s) available, and I hope ye be wise enough to get vaccinated because even we leprechauns know how important one's health is not only to themselves and their loved ones, but to the rest of the world๐ŸŒ as well.

If any of you are wondering, leprechauns are lucky, under certain circumstances. But ever since that one bloke hooked up with that cereal company, the rest of us can't come right out and call ourselves lucky any more.

Anyway, whether you prefer cats๐Ÿฑ or shamrocks๐Ÿ€, today be Saint Patrick's Day, where even those who cannot claim any ancestry to the Emerald Isle be Irish today as we honor the great Saint Patrick himself. You'll have to talk to whoever is in charge of calendars to find out why Gertude doesn't even get mentioned.
That doesn't sound fair to me.

While the day first began as a purely religious observance during Lent, it has certainly grown beyond anyone's imagination to become a holiday of anything and everything Irish, whether it be legend or fact.
However, that doesn't prevent me from telling everyone some fine Irish inspired humor.

What's Irish and stays outside in your yard all the time?
Patty O'Furniture.

Why did good Saint Patrick drive the snakes๐Ÿ out of Ireland?
Because it was too far for them to walk.

Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
Because ye don't want to press your luck.

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A sham rock.
Of course music wise, some of us leprechauns really like shamrock and roll๐ŸŽต.

What kind of bow cannot be tied?
A rainbow.๐ŸŒˆ

What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
Some poor horse๐ŸŽ is walking around bare foot!

Why do frogs๐Ÿธ love Saint Patrick's Day?
Because they're already green.

And now, before I must part company with all ye fine people, let me pause to wish everyone the best in life. Until we meet again...

May the road rise up to meet ye to ease your travels
May the wind always be at your back to make the journey quicker
May the sun shine warm upon your face to make your trip more comfortable
May the rains fall softly upon your fields to make your crops more bountiful.
May a rainbow always follow the rain.
May your needs never meet lack.
And may the hand of a friend always be within reach.

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!
HAPPY SAINT GERTUDE'S DAY!

If you're able to do so today, please party responsibly and safely.๐Ÿ˜ท
Then again, while alcohol isn't needed to do so,
life should be celebrated EVERY day!


(The Lucky 7 links were active at the time of posting.)