Sunday, February 18, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: BUMPER SNICKERS

Humor WITHOUT an agenda
Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
When preparing today's column, I had two possible topics to choose from. Funny bumper stickers or jokes about Presidents since tomorrow is Presidents' Day here in America.
I went with "Bumper Snickers" for two reasons.
1. The Sunday Funnies is supposed to be a fun place and not a political arena.
2. Making jokes about the current administration would have been way too easy.
So let's look at some vehicle rears instead of politician's rears, shall we?

I chose a road less traveled. Now where am I?

I believe in Dragons, Good Human Beings, and other fantasy creatures.

Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along come faster rats!

If love is blind, why is so much of it still based upon looks?

I AM A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER! My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it.

Obey Gravity. It's the law!

Watch out for the idiot behind me!

I believe in a better world, I just wish I knew where it was.

Help keep Earth clean! It's the only planet we've got!

If you can read this, you had someone who cared about your education!

And on that note♫

and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.—wd.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: FEBRUARY 11-17, 2018

FEBRUARY IS BOTH NATIONAL 💗HEART HEALTH💗 MONTH
AND BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
FEBRUARY 17 IS INDEPENDENCE DAY IN KOSOVO.
FEBRUARY 17 MARKS THE 85TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
OF DAGWOOD TO BLONDIE.💕
FEBRUARY 19 IS THE 130TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THOMAS EDISON PATENTING THE PHONOGRAPH.
FEBRUARY 19 IS ALSO PRESIDENTS’ DAY IN AMERICA.
FEBRUARY 22 MARKS THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF BABYLON 5.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*Does Philippines’ President Rodrigo Duterte really believe female rebels should be shot in the genitals???
*Who impersonated North Korean President Kim Jong-un, and why???
*Is there political corruption in Guatemala and Israel??? (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Cyril Ramaphosa is the new President of South Africa.
*Sorry folks. The Chicago Stock Exchange is NOT for sale!
*Will a new age of Concords soon be upon us???
*The total number of known exoplanets in the universe has grown by at least 95.
*For those interested in the 2018 Winter Olympics, Germany is leading with 9 Gold metals, 4 Silver, and 4 Bronze as of the end of events February 16.

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*The victims of the senseless shooting at a Florida high school February 14.
*Actress Jan Maxwell (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Gossip Girl) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.
*Singer Vic Damone (credits too numerous to mention) is no longer with us.
*Country music singer Daryle Singletary (“I Let Her Lie”) has passed away.
*Author Bill Crider (credits too numerous to mention) is no longer with us.
*Former professional baseball player John “Tito” Francona, father of current Cleveland Indians manager Terry, has passed away.
*Musician Scott Boyer of the Allman Brothers is no longer with us.
*Actress Lassie Lou Ahern (The Our Gang comedies) has taken her last bow on life's stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*President Trump proposed his new infrastructure plan this week to much criticism in regards to the fact it either rolls back or deletes many services, while putting more financial burden on the individual states. The proposed "savings" would go toward either "the wall", the military, or more tax cuts for the rich.
*13 Russians have been officially indicted for interfering in the 2016 Presidential election!
*Despite everything going on in this country right now, President Trump still wants his parade.
MEANWHILE…
*The Democrats seem to be building a momentum ahead of the 2018 mid-term elections this fall.
ELSEWHERE…
*Despite the seriousness of the emergency, United Airlines flight #1175 still landed safely in Hawaii.
*Sorry folks. The Chicago Stock Exchange is NOT for sale!
*The rest of Major League Baseball’s players have until February 20 to join the pitchers and catchers for Spring Training 2018.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 17, 2018

😎FUN FACT
The only 6 letter word of the English language with all its letters in alphabetical order is ALMOST.

WHAT’S THAT SONG?
A lyric from a well known tune is below. All you have to do is identify the song. Ready?
♫And you knew who you were then♫

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, only there are just 2 possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
Which TV theme was NOT composed by Mike Post: The Rockford Files or Miami Vice?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the February 10, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, Also Known As
By what more familiar name do we know Ponce de Leon Montgomery County Alabama Georgia Beauregard Possum?
Cartoonist Walt Kelly’s Pogo.

TRIVIA TIME
February 17 marks the 85th wedding anniversary of Dagwood Bumstead to Blondie, but what was the bride’s maiden name?
Boopadoop.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: RAINY DAY JOKES (misc jokes)

Bored puppy
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
I'm stuck inside my people's house today as it rains, and rains, and rains, and rains, and...💧
Well, you get the idea.
It's still chilly outside, but at least it's not snowing again!
Anyway, let's see what I can dig up joke wise.

When it comes to procrastination, don't even get me started.

I've never understood why overlook and oversee mean opposite things. Isn't there any proper supervision in the world today?


Some people think that butchers are disgusting, but, people who sell vegetables are grocer.

Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?
Boy: "I was the only one who could answer one specific question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Boy: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician. You will never hear the end of it.

Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned.

Every box of raisins is a tragic story of grapes that could have been wine.
There's no rhyme or raisin why they can't achieve grapeness.

And on that unusual note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: FEBRUARY 4-10, 2018

FEBRUARY IS BOTH NATIONAL HEART💓HEALTH MONTH
AND BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
💕FEBRUARY 14 IS VALENTINES’ DAY.💕
FEBRUARY 17 MARKS THE 85TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
OF DAGWOOD TO BLONDIE.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…
*The record Stock Market drop of February 5 and its potential ramifications. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*It will require a second round of voting to determine the next President of Costa Rica.
*The “Brexit” discussions continue.
*The 2018 Winter Olympics have begun in PyeongChang, South Korea; but did American Vice President Mike Pence try to “isolate” North Korea???
*Earth’s ozone layer is not recovering as well as scientists hoped it would.
*There are more exoplanets out there than first thought!
*What did the “Cheddar Man” have to say about Great Britain’s past???

THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*Actor John Mahoney (Frasier, In the Line of Fire) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Craig MacGregor of Foghat is no longer with us.
*Actor (Psycho, Spartacus)/Diplomat (Ambassador to Mexico: 1981-86) John Gavin has passed away.
*Actor Reg E. Cathey (The Wire, House of Cards) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Drummer (Johnny Rivers, the First Edition)/actor (Home Improvement) Mickey Jones has passed away.
PLEASE NOTE, DESPITE SOME REPORTS THAT INITIALLY GOT THE NAMES MIXED UP, DRUMMER/ACTOR MICKY DOLENZ OF THE MONKEES IS STILL WITH US!😁

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY
*The record Stock Market drop of February 5 and its potential ramifications. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*At the 2018 Winter Olympics, did American Vice President Mike Pence try to “isolate” North Korea???
*President Trump would like a military parade.
*Donald Trump versus the #MeToo Movement???
*WHY is there no Spanish material on the White House website???
MEANWHILE…
*The latest budget debates, including President Trump’s hopes of another government shutdown, continued this week. There was a brief shutdown again before Trump signed the new budget, although he is blaming “too many Democrats in Congress” for the potential deficit increases. (There are 4 separate links in this item.)
*But does the new budget mean an end to the Tea Party???
*The House of Representatives passed a major sexual harassment reform bill this week. Whether or not it becomes law remains to be seen.
ELSEWHERE…
*Pitchers and catchers are due at their respective teams for the start of Spring Training 2018 by February 13. All other position players of Major League Baseball report to their teams the following week.
*The Philadelphia Eagles defeated the New England Patriots 41-33 to win Super Bowl 52 and conclude the 2017-2018 professional football season.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 10, 2018

😎FUN FACT
An iguana can stay underwater for up to 28 minutes.

AKA, Also Known As
By what more familiar name do we know Ponce de Leon Montgomery County Alabama Georgia Beauregard Possum?

TRIVIA TIME
February 17 marks the 85th wedding anniversary of Dagwood Bumstead to Blondie, but what was the bride’s maiden name?

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the February 3, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?
01. {driver’s license, visa} = IDs
02. {feat, title} = deed

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate things have at least one word in common, and so can be combined to form something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

A Stephen Bochco-Dick Wolf team up.
L. A. Law and Order

Sunday, February 4, 2018

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THE "SUPER" GAME 2018

This "puppy" has her own bowl!
Why are there no dragons in football???
Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here as we take a look at the final football game of the 2017-2018 season, also known as the “Big Bowl”.

Of course, the quotes are because since The Free Choice E-zine is not an official $pon$or of the game, we don’t have the legal right to use the actual title. But then again, how come they don’t put some free food in that bowl and offer it to the fans? Even if you’re just at a restaurant or pub watching the game, you know how high prices are at one of those events.

That’s true Waxy, but what gets me is how they can call something “Super” when the original competition was limited. For football, since what we call soccer is something completely different outside the United States, there were only the American teams competing to see who got into the playoffs, let alone earned the right to face each other in the final showdown.

I agree Autumn. I mean, as great as the World Series is at the end of every season of Major League Baseball, only teams from that organization are competing. You don’t see any baseball teams from other countries at that event. And the annual Miss Universe Beauty Pageant? The only contestants that ever show up are all from Earth! None of the other planets ever send representatives to compete.

Then again Waxy, a lot of people nowadays are just watching “The Big Game” for only the
commercials and the half-time show. Those are usually pretty entertaining.

But why do they call it the half-time show when the performance is only about 10 minutes long at most? The game itself seems to last for hours, and from what I hear, most of them in the past have had a clear winner before half-time. So why play the rest of the game at all? Let alone the previous 51 of these things?

Image via Google
For the money Waxy. For the money. That reminds me of a joke.
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game, and they got great seats right behind their team.
After the game, he asked her what she thought and the girlfriend replied, “I don’t understand why they were trying to kill each other over 25 cents.”
The guy was totally confused at that comment, and asked his girlfriend what she meant.
The lady went on to explain, “Well, they flipped a coin at the start. The other team got it, and then for the rest of the game both sides kept screaming at each other ‘GET THE QUARTER BACK!’”

Well, it’s clear to me that a puppy and a baby companion dragon certainly don’t understand the game of football. But before we go, let’s enjoy the thoughts of someone else who never quite comprehended the game either as we share our annual presentation of Andy Griffith’s “What It Was, Was Football”, accompanied with the illustrations from the Mad magazine adaptation by George Woodbridge, courtesy of YouTube. (And remember, we didn't create the video or the material within, we're only sharing it with our fans.)



And on that note♫, have a great week everybody. Hope the better team won, whoever that is, and one of us will be here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP & WD.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: JANUARY 28-FEBRUARY 3, 2018

FEBRUARY IS BOTH NATIONAL HEART HEALTH MONTH
AND BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
THE NANCY COMIC STRIP IS CELEBRATING ITS 75TH ANNIVERSARY THIS YEAR.
FEBRUARY 4 IS THE 80TH ANNIVERSARY OF
DISNEY’S SNOW WHITE & THE 7 DWARFS.
FEBRUARY 6 MARKS THE 230TH ANNIVERSARY OF
MASSACHUSETTS JOINING THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
FEBRUARY 8 MARKS THE 45TH ANNIVERSARY OF
THE WATERGATE INVESTIGATIONS BEGINNING.

AMONGST EVENTS AROUND THE WORLD THIS PAST WEEK…

*Will the 2018 Presidential election in Egypt actually be a contest???
*Is Google practicing censorship on YouTube???
*NASA's missing satellite has been found!
*Does an 8 year old child really need an I-Pad for school???
*The 2018 Winter Olympics begin February 8.
*Because February only has 28 days, it will have no full moon, giving March a blue (second full) moon after January’s double lunar event.


THE TERRORIST REPORT…
*The Free Choice E-zine does not support terrorism, no matter what the “cause” or alleged “justification”. Thus we will only be posting news items in this section whenever terrorists are brought to justice.

😭PASSING PARADE…
*The innocent victims of a senseless shooting at a car wash January 28.
*IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has passed away.
*R & B singer Dennis Edwards (The Contours, The Temptations) has passed away.
*Storm Chaser Joel Taylor is no longer with us.
*Actor Louis Zorich (Mad About You, Brooklyn Bridge) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former Moldovan Prime Minister Ion Ciubuc has passed away.
*Actor Mark Salling (Glee) has taken his last bow on life’s stage.
*Former professional basketball player Rasual Butler (Miami Heat, New Orleans Hornets, L. A. Clippers) has passed away.
*Singer Leah LaBelle (American Idol) is no longer with us.
*Actress Ann Gillis (voice work in Bambi, 2001: A Space Odyssey) has taken her last bow on life’s stage.

WITHIN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…
POLITICALLY…
*During his 2018 State of the Union address, President Donald Trump talked about various aspects of foreign policy, the economy and the country’s infrastructure, immigration, health care, and taxes. But he made absolutely no mention of the current Russia investigation(s) or the #MeToo movement. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Fact checking (via factcheck.org) the State of the Union address. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*Why did First Lady Trump arrive separately from her husband???
*How did misprinted tickets affect the address???
*So, what IS the Nunes Memo???
*Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe has resigned after a dispute with President Trump while Under Secretary for Political Affairs Tom Shannon will leave once his successor is named. (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
*How did Secretary of State Rex Tillerson's recent diplomatic visit to Mexico go??? (There are 2 separate links in this item.)
MEANWHILE…
*Can Congress come to a budget agreement and avoid another shutdown before February 8???
ELSEWHERE…
*The winners of the 60th annual Grammy Awards held January 28 can be found here.


THE FREE CHOICE E-ZINE WOULD LIKE TO THANK ITS LOYAL READERSHIP FOR GRANTING US 1736 PAGE VIEWS IN JANUARY 2018.

For more news at any time, either scroll down to our IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen or visit any other reputable news source.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: FEBRUARY 3, 2018

😎FUN FACT
America’s best selling ice cream flavor? Vanilla.

COMMON BONDS
The items in each subset below have something in common.
Do you know what it is?
01. {driver’s license, visa}
02. {feat, title}

BEFORE AND AFTER
Two separate things have at least one word in common, and so can be combined to form something new. Based upon the clue below, do you know what the new thing is?

A Stephen Bochco-Dick Wolf team up.

We’ll reveal all next weekend, but for now, let’s open up THE ANSWERS BOX and discover the results from the January 27, 2018 Puzzle Corner.

AKA, Also Known As
The “Egyptian Cobra” is more commonly referred to as what snake?
The Asp.

THE 50/50 CHANCE
Just like a regular TRIVIA TIME question, except there are only 2 possible answers, hence the even odds of getting it right. Ready?
True or False: Temperature changes can affect liquids AND gases.
True!

Friday, February 2, 2018

GROUNDHOG'S DAY 2018

It's deja vu all over again folks!
Once again, that fabled "weather forecaster" Punxsutawney Phil, or at least the latest groundhog to be called that in the 130+ year tradition of the day, has been observed.
Unfortunately, the Pennsylvanian marmot did see his shadow (with all those cameras, is that a surprise?), foreboding six more weeks of winter.
Well, duh! The weather forecast's were proclaiming the same thing before today.

In any event, in the spirit of the holiday, we present our annual Groundhog's Day "Tribute".

“Is this the law firm of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe?” asked the lady as she walked in my front door.
“Yes it is,” I replied. “I’m Howie Cheatum. And you are--?”
A. Groundhog
“Susan Woo,” she replied, “but you can call me Sue.”
“Okay Sue. And what can I do for you today?”
“I want to engage your services to represent myself as I initiate a law suit.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right place. Who do you want to sue?”
“Punxsutawney Phil.”
“You want to sue who?” I asked in disbelief.
“Not myself silly. Punxsutawney Phil.”
“The groundhog?” I asked, trying to confirm what I heard the first time.
“Yes, that filthy animal,” replied Sue.
“Why?”
“Because this year he/it claimed we would have six weeks of relatively mild weather and an early spring. None of that came true. I couldn’t break out my spring wardrobe when I wanted to. I hurt my back shoveling the driveway myself because I dismissed the snow plow service early thinking I wouldn’t need them any more this season. Should I go on?”
“No, I get the idea. And on what grounds would you like to initiate this lawsuit?”
“Don’t you think at a courthouse would be best?” she asked.
“What I meant was, for what reasons did you want to sue?”
“I figured breach of promise at the very least, and whatever else is applicable,” she replied. “The late winter has just totally ruined spring, and who knows just how that is going to affect summer. The trees are barely beginning to bud as it is. Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if fall arrives on time anyway and cuts whatever is left of spring and summer short this year.”
“I see,” I said, pausing momentarily to wonder why I always got stuck with the live ones. “Let me look up some reference material on the subject,” I said, before turning to use my computer terminal. After a couple of minutes on Wikipedia, I said, “You do realize that this is all just traditional superstition, dating back to at least the 1800s in America and at least the fifth century in Europe.”
“So, that means that Punxsutawney Phil should have been a lot more accurate in his prediction than he actually was, right?”
“Well, that’s one way of looking at it,” I agreed, while reading the data some more. “While he only has a 39% accuracy rating, it says here that Punxsutawney Phil isn’t the only one who is used to predict the weather.”
“Oh?”
“There’s Jimmy the Groundhog in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin; Holtsville Hall and Dunkirk Dave, wherever they reside, all said that there would be six more weeks of winter. Phil and a bunch of others on this list all predicted an early spring,” I said, showing her what it said on my computer monitor.
Or am I? 😀
“Good. Let’s start a class action suit and go after all of them!”
“It just doesn’t quite work that way. The animals themselves never specifically said what the weather would be. Humans just interpreted the situational conditions as best they could.”
“Well let’s sue them,” said Sue.
“That doesn’t work either. None of them were trained professionals paid to do that job. It would be like me trying to predict the weather just by looking out the window.”
“Then are you suggesting that I should sue the weathermen?”
“Actually, you don’t have a case against anybody involved with Groundhog’s Day predictions. That’s all they were, just predictions. None were legally binding.”
“Then can I sue you?”
“For what?” I asked in disbelief.
“For not taking my case.”
While it would not actually get far in the court system, in this day and age, I’d be surprised if she didn’t find somebody willing to take the case.