Our first order of business today, I have gone back to my original avatar because not only do my fans like it best, but also because you could see one of my people's hands in the background of the other one, and I don't want anyone to think that I'm just a spokes canine for someone else.
I'm my own dog!
Anyway, speaking of speaking, let's face it, sometimes English can be a crazy language.
After all, there are no eggs in an eggplant.
Hamburgers don't have ham in them although, depending upon the butcher shop, sometimes you're just plain lucky if there's any meat in them at all.
A pineapple is neither an apple, nor does it come from a pine tree.
English muffins were not actually invented in England, and french fries were not created in France.
Admit it folks, sometimes we do take the English language for granted.
After all, I'm a Golden Retriever and I have yet to actually retrieve any gold, much to my "owner's" disgust.
Quicksand actually works slowly, but it still sucks.
Boxing rings are actually square, so where does that leave Madison Square Garden?
Guinea pigs are not really pigs, they're rodents, nor do any live in New Guinea that I'm aware of.
Think about it. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, do you really want to know what a Humanitarian eats?
Why do you people ship goods by truck and send cargo by ship?
For that matter, why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
And why call it rush hour when nothing moves?
How come your noses run and your feet smell? And trust me, I've been around enough Humans to vouch for that last part.
But let's face it, the English language was invented by people, and it reflects your creativity.
And some of you can be very creative.
After all, thanks to you Humans, I'm fed and watered on a regular basis.
I'm loved and cared for, and you're great at scratching the itchy spots I can't reach, like behind my ears.
Well, that's it for this weekend. Have a great week, and please be back here next time for more Sunday Funnies.
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