Sunday, December 25, 2011


More Peace on Earth, please?

The David Seville of the group?

LEE: Houston, Junior/Editor-In-Chief: Hello Everyone. We're all here today to wish our Free Choice E-zine readership a Merry Christmas.
Waxy, baby dragon and comedienne: What does Santa Claus' wife have to do with this?
LEE: What do you mean Waxy?
WAXY: Santa's wife. MARY Christmas.
AUTUMN, comedic puppy: Actually, I don't remember anyone ever saying her first name. I only know her as Mrs. Claus.
WAXY: Well, isn't it Mary Christmas?
LEE: If that were true, then I guess Christmas is her maiden name?
WAXY: I guess. Mary Christmas Claus.
AUTUMN: Can we get on with this?
LEE: As I was saying, since Christmas is actually on a Sunday this year, the three of us decided to get together for a bit to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. What are you ladies hoping Santa brings you this year?
AUTUMN: Well, I certainly don't need a fur coat. Is peace on Earth too much to ask for?
LEE: No, it isn't. Unfortunately that's in short supply, but the world does the best it can. Waxy, we probably already know the answer to this, but what do you want for Christmas?
WAXY: Dark Chocolate, Dark Chocolate, Dark Chocolate! Especially Belgosian Dark Chocolate. That's the best!
AUTUMN: We know. But that stuff's expensive.
WAXY: I know. I try to get some myself whenever possible.
AUTUMN: But they still won't let you back into that country since the last time you tried to break into their chocolate factory.
WAXY: That was last year! I've been a good dragon since then, and I'm hoping Santa brings me lots of presents this year.
AUTUMN: So, what do we do now?
LEE: I don't know. Maybe sing Christmas Carols?
WAXY: Who'se this Carol woman?
AUTUMN: He means sing Christmas songs.
WAXY: Oh, why didn't you say so! I'm gamed. Anything except Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer though.
LEE: I hesitate to ask, but why don't you want to sing about Rudolph?
WAXY: Well, while everything came out all right in the end, Olive was mean to him.
AUTUMN: Olive?
WAXY: Yeah. Olive, the other reindeer.
AUTUMN: Oh great. Another mondegreen.
WAXY: Hey. I'm perfectly healthy. I've been to the vet and everything. Although if they ever try to use that thermometer where they wanted to put it the last time...
LEE: No. Autumn means you misheard the song lyric.
WAXY: No I didn't. "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."
AUTUMN: The line went "All of the other reindeer."
WAXY: Are you sure?
WAXY: Well, anyway, just because you're different is no reason for someone to call you names.
LEE: On that, we both agree with you.
WAXY: I mean, how would you feel if you were Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and suddenly Olive kept coming around saying things like, "Hey Names! How's it going?" or "Hey Names! How much is your electric bill every month?"
AUTUMN: (groans, and then puts her head between her paws)
LEE: Well, folks. That's it for this special edition of the Sunday Funnies! Take care. Have a good week. We hope to see you back here next weekend and most importantly:

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