Larry the Leprechaun here, pausing to celebrate with everyone here as part of all the events on my long agenda for today.
First off, in case any of you are wondering, leprechauns are lucky, under certain circumstances. But ever since that one bloke hooked up with that cereal company, none of the rest of us can come right out and call ourselves lucky.
Anyway, today be Saint Patrick's Day, where even those who cannot claim any ancestry to the Emerald Isle be Irish today as we honor the great Saint Patrick himself.
While the day first began as purely a religious observance during Lent, it has certainly grown beyond anyone's imagination to become a holiday of anything and everything Irish, whether it be legend or fact.
However, that does not prevent me from telling everyone some fine Irish inspired humor.
What's Irish and stays outside in your yard all the time?
Why did good Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
Because it was too far for them to walk.
Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
Because ye don't want to press your luck.
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A sham rock.
Of course, music wise, some of us leprechauns really like sham rock and roll.
What kind of bow cannot be tied?
What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
Some poor horse is walking around bare foot!
Why do frogs love Saint Patrick's Day?
Because they're already green.
And now, before I must part company with all ye fine people, let me pause to wish everyone the best in life.
Until we meet again...
May the road rise up to meet ye to ease your travels
May the wind always be at your back to make the journey quicker
May the sun shine warm upon your face to make your trip more comfortable
May the rains fall softly upon your fields to make your crops more bountiful.
May a rainbow always follow the rain.
May your needs never meet lack.
And may the hand of a friend always be within reach.
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!
Please party responsibly.