SUNDAY FUNNIES: CLASSIC CELEBRITY CITINGS

"Bark!" And you can quote me on that.

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
It's been quite a while since the last time I've posted any funny celebrity quotes. Not that celebrities don't say anything funny, whether intentionally or not, just that I haven't used any of their material in a while.
So without further adieu, and my comments are in italics.

"I had a rose🌹 named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'" - Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady to President Franklin Roosevelt.
Maybe you should have pointed out the thorns to whoever wrote that description.

"Be careful about reading health books.You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain, famous author.
So they had fad diets even way back then huh? It's a lot trickier today with the Internet!

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates, Greek philosopher.
Is that how you got into the business sir?

"I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds🔷⃟🔶 back." - Zsa Zsa Gabor, actress.
People should marry for love, but it doesn't hurt to have something to cover the expenses of old age.

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying." - Rodney Dangerfield, famous comedian.
That doesn't necessarily sound like a bad thing. Think of the all the innocent victims of violence that wouldn't be leaving before their natural end.

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." - Spike Milligan, comedian/writer.
At least it keeps the bills paid, food on the table and a roof over your head. That sounds like happiness to me.

Bob Hope

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap." - Bob Hope, comic actor.
You should see some of the cats🐈🐱 I have to share this house with Mr. Hope. I don't think any of them have moved in weeks. But let me try to catch 40 winks after barking at the mailman📧📪...

"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish🐟🐠 do in it." - W. C. Fields, comedian.
Humans pollute the water a lot more than fish do, sir.

Churchill

"We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress." - Will Rogers, comedic actor.
If red tape existed back then, George Washington would still be waiting for supplies to get to Valley Forge!

"Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you." - Winston Churchill,
England's Prime Minister during World War 2.
Life's for living! Have fun when you can responsibly.

And on that note🎵, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: AUTUMN'S CELEBRITY SHINY NEW YEAR!

"Oh the weather outside is frightful..."

Hello Everybody!
Autumn the Puppy here with not only my first post of the new year, but also my first batch of celebrity quotes for 2015 too.
So this time, I'm going to have the celebrities comment on the new year and as usual, my comments are in italics.
Ready?

Winfrey, circa 2011

"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right!"
Oprah Winfrey
Other than forgetting where I buried some of my bones, I thought I had a pretty good 2014 overall.

Gaiman, circa 2007

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something."
Author Neil Gaiman
I agree with the sentiment, and this year I resolve to make better notes on where I plan to hide my bones before I bury them.

O'Hara

"I know I'm lazy. But I made myself a New Year's Resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have 'til December, right?"
Catherine O'Hara
Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?
Of course, until the weather improves, I can't go outside and look for my missing bones anyway.

The bard

"Come gentlemen. I hope we shall drink down all unkindness."
William Shakespeare
"I never worry about being driven to

Fields, circa 1919

drink. I just worry about being driven home."
W.C. Fields
Well, as long as the water in my water dish is fresh and clean, I'll certainly drink to both thoughts! Happiness in the new year and designated drivers.

Tennyson

"Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, 'It will be happier'."
Alfred Lord Tennyson
I sure hope so, because we can all use some happiness in our lives.

And on that note, have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--AtP.

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