Hello Everybody. Ms. Waxy Dragon here.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been using examples from the animal kingdom to take a (hopefully) humorous look at life.
This weekend, I have been asked to give equal time to the canines. So here, speaking on behalf of dogs everywhere, is Fido.
Woof! I mean greetings.
Now everyone says that a dog is a (wo)man's best friend, and on behalf of canines everywhere, we do thank you for the compliment and the kind thoughts. But living with people is not always easy.
Case in point:
Blaming weird smells in the house on us, claiming we've might have dragged something nasty in or rolled in something that is not nice. Now dogs have an excellent sense of smell, so I can tell you right now that although people do smell better than skunks, there are times when Limburger cheese smells better than some of you!
And what about when you yell at one of us for barking? We are dogs. If something is wrong or there is a situation that a canine should bring to your attention, what do you expect us to do: send a telegram?
Now granted, most humans do take good care of us dogs. But when we go for a walk, why won't you let us stop and smell all the things we want to check out? Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
And what about being asked to perform any trick that involves balancing food on our nose? Do you know how embarrassing that is?
But you really do not want to get me started about any hair cut that involves bows or ribbons. Not every dog is a female, and no canine should have to wear that stuff!
Which reminds me, about the slight of hand/fake fetch throw when you pretend to do something but don't? Some accomplishment. You managed to fool someone who trusts you! What's next? Going to apply for membership in Mensa?
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous. We both know who has better life here! After all, who goes to work practically everyday and who doesn't?
Okay. Thank you Fido. Sit. Stay.
We'll see you next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!-wd.