Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here.
Last Sunday, I gave Fido the forum to speak about the difficulties dogs encounter living with humans.
This weekend, Cleo speaks for the cats.
Salutations!
Now where should I begin? I could start about taking us to the vet. Don't get me wrong, if we're sick we definitely want medical treatment. But trying to squeeze us into those little boxes that are laughingly called 'Cat Carriers'? Don't you realize that maybe the reason we don't want to go in them first place is because we get claustrophobic being confined in such a small space!
Yet first and foremost, I must point out a glaring error of assumption humanity has been under for generations. One does not "own" a cat. One has the privilege of living with one of the finer specimens of the animal kingdom.
But what about when said "owner" comes home from work and does not want to spend time with us? A lot of you are more interested in the television or that funny device with all the buttons, although I must admit that if I ever find that mouse you claim to use with it, I'll be more than happy to show you what you are really supposed to do with that rodent!
Anyway, your faithful furry companion has been cooped up at home alone all day and it seems that the last thing on your mind is spending time with us! That is just wrong!
Then you have the nerve to complain about the stink in the litter box! You do remember I'm a cat, right? If you didn't want me to go in one specific place, either teach me how to use that porcelain object you do or else don't complain about having to clean my box!
And sometimes when you decide to pet us, but we are sound asleep at the time, so is it any wonder why we start hissing and growling about being woken up? I can tell you from first paw experience that my "owner" is never bright eyed and bushy tailed first thing in the morning.
Yet I have to stop and ask you folks one question straight out: what is it with all the gibberish you spout sometimes? Cats are an intelligent species, not new born babies. Don't you realize that all the "ga-ga goo-goo" baby talk is beneath both of us!
Thank you Cleo.
And we'll be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!-wd
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