Sunday, September 18, 2011

SUNDAY FUNNIES: OPEN MIKE DAY

Editor's Note: The following was originally scheduled for August 28, 2011 but delayed due to Hurricane Irene.

Ms. Waxy Dragon
Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
Now, considering that I missed a lot of Sunday Funnies while I was at Dragon School learning how to be a good baby dragon (as if I actually need lessons for that), I've accumulated a lot of jokes during my absence here.
So I thought I would just do an open mike routine.
No, that is not a reference to the Milton-Bradley game "Operation", but just letting you folks know that it's monologue time.
Ready?


Anyone in the audience have cats?
Well, technically one does not own a cat, you are just blessed with their presence and responsible for feeding them and cleaning the kitty litter. They're purrfectly capable of grooming themselves, if you know what I mean.
What song does a cat like best?
Three Blind Mice.

Why are cats so good at playing video games?
Because they have nine lives.

Why are leopards bad at playing hide and go seek?
Because they're always spotted.

Why didn't Tarzan believe the tiger?
He thought it was lion.

What about bird lovers? Any of those in the audience?
What bird can you find at construction sites?
The crane.

Why do school teachers keep bird seed on hand?
For parrot-teacher conferences.

What did the geometry expert say when his parrot passed away?
"Polygon." (Insert your own riff of Monty Python's Flying Circus' Dead Parrot sketch here.)

And a-parrot-ly that's the last of the bird jokes.
Well, it's always best to end on a high note. Who knew I could sing?
Take care everyone and we'll see you next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-wd.

No comments: