Sunday, November 6, 2011


"Doctor" Autumn Puppy
Hello Everyone. Autumn the Puppy here.
This week, as a public service to all my loyal readers, I'm gonna explain the proper way to medicate your pets.
Being a pet myself, I know how much "fun" it is to take pills.
You Humans have it sooo much easier than us of the four feet and fur set.
After all, when you go see your doctor(s), think about where they stick your thermometer compared to where we get it!
But since there are basically two types of pets, I'll be polite and start with cats.

FOR CATS:                                              
01. Pick up cat and cradle it in crook of one arm as if holding a baby.
02. Position forefinger and thumb of other hand on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to its cheeks while holding pill.
03. As cat opens its mouth, pop pill into it.
04. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow naturally.
05. Pick up soggy pill from floor. Throw contaminated medicine away and get a new pill before retrieving cat from its hiding place.
06. Cradle cat once more, this time holding its front paws in the process.
07. Force pill down cat's mouth, then hold it shut manually for a count of ten.
08. Trash old pill and get a new one before removing cat from its new hiding place.
09. Find an assistant, who holds pill. Meanwhile, you kneel on floor with cat firmly wedged between your knees while holding both its front and rear paws.
10. Assistant ignores low growls made by cat and repeats Step 7 with pill.
11. With a new pill in hand since you have not found the last one since the cat spit it out, have assistant wrap cat in towel, leaving only its head visible.
12. Take a straw big enough to accommodate pill and stick one end in cat's mouth.
13. Put pill in other end and exhale into straw, blowing pill towards cat.
14. If unable to cough up pill after cat blew it into you, check bottle to make sure cat medication is not harmful to Humans.
15. After locating cat's latest hiding place, fix cat a meal, putting medication within food.
16. Watch cat eat everything but the medication.
17. Surrender.
18. Cat comes back later and eats pill on its own because now it smells "interesting".

01. Put pill in dog food.
02. Watch dog eat everything without a second thought.

Well, that's all the time and space I have for today. Enjoy your week and please be back here next time for more Sunday Funnies!-AtP.

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