Sunday, November 27, 2011

SUNDAY FUNNIES: OF MICE AND MEN

Hello Everybody. Your esteemed Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here.
Both Autumn the Puppy and Waxy Dragon have the Thanksgiving holiday weekend off, so I will attempt to entertain you for a bit.
Ready?

Sometimes I wonder if life would be more interesting if it had background music like it does in the movies and on television.

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it uses a lot more memory in my PC.

For those who have it at breakfast, have you ever wondered about ham and eggs? It's only a day's work for the chicken, but the pig is making a lifetime commitment to you. Are you worthy of that?

Being "over" the hill is MUCH better than being under it, but wrinkled is NOT one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

The other day I had to go shopping because there were mice in the cellar. Now granted, having them in the cellar beats having them in the house proper. If mice ever do move in to your house, they'll never pay rent or their share of the utilities.
I can't blame the poor things for wanting to escape the winter cold, but I'm sure there are other places they can go to escape winter.
Maybe someplace warm, like heck?
Anyway, I was at the store trying to decide what variety of mouse trap to buy and surprised to see all the different options.
There's the basic, traditional spring trap that will kill the mouse instantly, provided they're not fast enough to avoid that big (to them) piece of metal coming at them when they try to take the bait and set off the trap in the process. But then again, every time you catch a mouse, you have to empty and reset the trap afterwards.
I mean, geez, I don't even want them in the cellar. Who said I wanted any contact with them at all?
So I'm standing there now in the middle of the aisle contemplating the variety of glue traps the store had. I figured no muss, no fuss, right? The mouse gets stuck on it, and you just toss trap and all.
But just as I reach for them, this woman who was standing nearby suddenly said, "Don't buy those. They're totally inhumane!"
"How?" I asked.
"The mice get stuck on those traps and slowly starve to death," she replied.
"Look lady, I don't care what happens to them afterwards, I just want them out of my cellar," I said in return.
Does it really matter HOW the mouse dies? After all, it's not like I had any plans to attend the funeral(s). I just wanted them gone.
So as the lady left, I started looking at the poison options. Boric acid was the safest for all concerned, except the mice. But if I didn't want them in the house to begin with, the last thing I wanted was for them to have a chance to crawl in between the walls and floor boards to die.
Imagine two to three weeks from now smelling some strange odors, being worried about the possibility of carbon monoxide in your residence, and it turns out to be dead mice.
Revenge of the Rodents! YUCK!
Then I thought about getting a cat, but then I would have to worry about buying cat food, keeping up with its litter box, and the vet bills to keep it healthy because after all, the darn thing would (hopefully) be eating mice on a regular basis.
So in the end, I did the only sensible thing I could.
I moved and left no forwarding address so the mice can't follow me.

Well, that's it for this installment folks. Have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-lh,jr.

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