Sunday, December 21, 2014

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DEAR SANTA (Autumn and Waxy's letters)

The following is our Sunday Funnies crew's annual letters to the North Pole.
The Free Choice E-zine has permission to reprint both them
and the responses from Mister Claus himself.

Dear Santa:
First and foremost, let me apologize once again for mistaking you for a burglar when you visited my house last Christmas. I was just doing my nightly job of guarding my people when you arrived to leave their presents and I honestly didn't know it was you.

Now then, what would I like for Christmas?
That's a good question.

My people take care of my health. Except for potty runs, I'm indoors during the worst weather times, and I'm certainly fed and loved.

So personally, I don't really need anything; although if you could please explain why I'm not allowed in libraries, despite the fact that I love (TO READ!) books, or why I'm not allowed to drive my people's vehicles despite the fact that I have a (dog) license, I really would appreciate it.

I guess if I were to ask for anything, it would be to make sure that every dog, cat, goldfish, etc; is as lucky to have a good home like I am.

That is a pretty big request, so I'll understand if it isn't possible to fulfill it in one night, but hopefully in time all Humans will be as kind to animals as my people are to me.

In any event, I also promise not to use the Christmas Tree as indoor plumbing, nor will I eat your cookies/snack before you get a chance to enjoy it.
But if there are any crumbs leftover after you're done...

MERRY CHRISTMAS and take care.
Love, Autumn the Puppy

Dear Autumn:
All is forgiven. You're a good dog.
I will do what I can in regards to helping strays find new homes after the holidays, but even if I didn't already have an important year-round job, I can't do it alone.
I hope anyone looking for a pet for either themselves or their children consider adopting from their local shelter instead of buying one from a pet store.
Love is a precious commodity as it is. There never seems to be enough to go around, considering how many are in need of experiencing it.
One person can't do everything, but if we all do something...

A good little dragon
Dear Santa:
How's it going?
I've been a good baby dragon all year.
Or at least, I've tried to.

I've been thinking long and hard about what I want for Christmas, although why you never gave me as much Belgosian Dark Chocolate as I asked for last year is beyond me.

Anyway, while the rest of my Christmas list is on the next page (the toys, the Belgosian Dark Chocolate, crayons, Belgosian Dark Chocolate, new coloring books, Belgosian Dark Chocolate); there is something more important that I need to talk to you about right now.
Rudolph drawing by Waxy herself

I thought we cleared this up in my letter to you last year, but why is Olive the other reindeer still picking on poor Names; I mean, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Didn't she learn her lesson already?
I know that a red nose is unusual for a reindeer, but like I said before, there is nothing wrong with being different.

Anyway, please don't be scared when I try to wait up for you again this Christmas Eve. I don't know what the problem was on your end. I just wanted to say hello and meet the sleigh team, but you never came until after I fell asleep. Considering everywhere you go and all you do, I can't believe you're shy too.
Well, here's hoping I get to see you Christmas Eve, and please don't forget the Belgosian Dark Chocolate.
Love, Waxy Dragon

Dear Waxy:
Rudolph and friends
I understand and deeply appreciate your concern, but that song plays every year because it's an important lesson that needs to be learned and never forgotten.
Everyone IS different, and it is those differences that not only need to be respected, but helps make the world the special place it is.
As for your list, wait and see how things go Christmas morning.



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