SUNDAY FUNNIES: WAXY AT THE MOVIES

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Now normally, being on Summer Vacation from Dragon School I'd be out and about flying around, seeing what mischief adventures I could get into.

But with the {censored} quarantine in place because of this {further censored} pandemic, I've been stuck at home.

Now that does have some advantages between hanging out with "Bubblehead", the human I'm the Companion Dragon to, as well as having more time trying to figure out where Bubblehead hides the Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫, but it's also given me a chance to watch a lot of TV. Especially old movies.

Hey, being a baby Companion Dragon, anything made before I was hatched qualifies as old.😉

Anyway, I've noticed a lot of stuff that I'd like to share with you.

All telephone☎📞 numbers, at least in America, begin with 555.

Although they never list the area code. You have to figure there is more than one, otherwise 555 would be a pretty LARGE exchange.

In almost any movie, just about everyone had perfect teeth, even if the movie takes place somewhere dentistry didn't even exist yet!

And that goes for women and their makeup too.

The Old West? Medieval England? Ancient Japan? NO PROBLEM!

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

Now, I'm small enough so that this would actually work for me, but a regular size human?

Talk about needing to have a (huge) suspension of disbelief!

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

I don't know about you, but when I wake up from a nightmare, it's usually screaming because it's always the same nightmare. That the multiverse has run out of Belgosian Dark Chocolate! 😨

Being a baby dragon with a big sweet tooth, that's one nightmare I hope does NOT come true!

And in case you're wondering. I hate to tell you this but it's only wishful thinking that we wake up tomorrow and discover the whole COVID-19 mess was just a bad dream.

Oh well, moving on...

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

REALLY? Since when?

If you decide to start singing and/or dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the words and steps.

Maybe on some of the more popular songs of the day, but ALL of them?

And while I have a lot more, here's the most important one.

While life may seem better in the movies, the REAL world can be a lot more fun.

And on that note♫, take care. Have a great week! STAY SAFE! And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DON'T WORRY DAY REDUX, Part 3 of 3

Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here as we try to revive Don't Worry Day!

That's right. Our original attempt was 11 years ago on this very Sunday (August 2, 2009), but apparently most people were either too busy to celebrate or actually liked worrying, so we haven't tried doing it again before now.

Sad, but true.
Like I said last week the concept is sound. Set aside a day to attempt destressing.
We realize that life is ruff, especially with the way the world is right now, and that we need to do this on a more regular basis than just one special day.

Like the old adage says, you have to stop and smell the roses.🌹🌹🌹
But you folks didn't come here to hear us talk about improving your mental health by reducing stress and worrying, so...

Geez. No wonder mine have never been crunchy.

Starting this fall, video games will have these new difficulty settings: Easy, Medium, Hard, 2020.

Do they play video games in France?
Wii. 😉

How do ranchers🤠 buy their livestock?🐄Through a cattlelogue!🐮

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're too afraid to relax and unwind.

Doctor, Doctor, I've just swallowed a clock! Don't worry: there's no cause for alarm.⏰

When desert nomads get ready to move their camp to another location, do they have a mirage sale?

Great Kibbles! 😉

I painted my trumpet🎺 turquoise and the other orchestra members are freaking out that I blue my own horn.

You know I love having breakfast in bed, but why am I the one who has to clean up the mess afterward?

Doctor, something is seriously wrong with me. Some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.
Relax! You're just two tents.

And on that note, Waxy and I will continue to do our best to entertain you each weekend.
But please take care of yourselves.

It's not just your physical health, but your mental state as well. Like the song says, ♫Don't Worry, Be Happy.♫ Who know? Maybe we'll get to celebrate this again next year.

Waxy, don't you think you should take your own advice?

Oh.

On that note♫ take care. STAY SAFE! And please be back with us again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP and WD.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DON'T WORRY DAY REDUX, PART 1 of 3

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
You know, I've been thinking.
No, I don't have a headache now but anyway...

It has gotten to the point where a lot of stuff have their own days now.
March 14 is Pi Day. 03-14. 3.14, you get the idea.𝛑
Fans of a galaxy far, far away have decided May 4 is Star Wars Day. You know, May the Fourth (Force) Be With You.
Even us Dragons have our own day!😁
While we're also part of the Chinese Zodiac, January 16 is Appreciate A Dragon🐉 Day, and I hope you plan to celebrate it next year. (hint, hint!)

But, especially with everything going on lately, what about a "Don't Worry, Be Happy Day"?
Sure, The Free Choice E-zine tried establishing this before with no luck, but now...?
We'll still make it the first Sunday of August, since there really isn't anything going on that month except trying to stay safe😷 and not overheat in the hot summer🌞 weather.
Even though I can find it easily enough on YouTube, I don't really have the right to post the Bobby McFerrin song.
Yet I can post some funny, happy jokes so...

Did you hear about the Klingon who wanted to change his hair color?

He thought "Today is a good day to dye." 😉

A wife asked her husband “What is love?”💕
He replied, “Love is when you steal my chocolate🍫 every day, but I still hide it in the same place.” AW!

I recently bought a Prince CD for $20, but partied like it was $19.99.😀

I was going to tell a joke about a blunt spear, but I didn’t see the point.

The first five florists I called knew nothing about carpet and tile, and suddenly I’m the idiot.

Owning your "weirdness" is usually the key🔑 to something breathtaking.

Hope you like the funnies.
It was either this theme or try to joke about that {censored} pandemic again!
In any event, take care and please be back again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: GARDEN GRIPES

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Now, like most young children, this baby companion dragon is NOT having a good time during this pandemic.😷
Dragon School is only online. I can't see my friends unless we telecommute. Bubblehead, the human I live with, won't tell me where he's hidden the Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫 this time.
You get the idea.

Anyway, I know all the doctors and scientists around the world are doing what they can to fight this COVID-19 virus and eventually find a vaccine, let alone a cure, but I've got to tell you one thing right now.

Waxy's drawing of Bubblehead

It better NOT involve Brussel Sprouts!🚫

Let's be honest with each other here folks. I'm basically a kid, that's a vegetable, and what kid likes vegetables?

In any event, it was a long time to reach this point, but here are some vegetable jokes for a nice change of pace.

Why did the grape🍇 stop in the middle of the road?
Because he ran out of juice.

What vegetables are a sailor's worst enemy?
Leeks!

Why did the tomato🍅 blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing. 😉

Why aren’t bananas🍌 ever lonely?
Because they hang out in bunches!

Why do potatoes🥔 always argue with each other?
Because they can never see eye to eye.

Do salads🥗 win awards when they go above and beyond the kale of duty?

You know. I just realized something.
I've got TWO green thumbs!🖒
Maybe I should try my paws at gardening.
Does anyone know where I can find bacon, candy, and chocolate seeds?

And on that note♫, take care everybody!
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: FATHERS' DAY 2020

Woof Dad!

Dad: Winging it as always.—love, Waxy.

Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy & Waxy Dragon here for our annual Fathers' Day celebration!

That's right Autumn, and considering everything going on in the world🌏 right now between the pandemic and the major social issues everyone is talking about, it's a great time to paws pause and remember how important family is.
Especially fathers!

So without further adieu, here's our annual presentation of Fathers' Day jokes.

A father asked his son if the kid had seen the newspaper.📰
The son replied that newspapers were old school and people used tablets nowadays before handing the father his.
That fly🦟 didn’t stand a chance!😉

Why didn't the father get his gift on time?

It was chocoLATE.
Waxy, did you have something to do with that?
No. Why? Was it Belgosian Dark Chocolate?🍫
No. Just plain chocolate.
Oh. Boring! Moving on...

What is the first thing any dad does on Fathers' Day?
Wake up.⏰

What kind of music♫ did the kids play for their dad on Father’s Day?
Pop music.

What did the Panda🐼 give his daddy on Father’s Day?
A big bear hug.💗

What did the baby corn say to his mommy?
"Where's pop?"

When asked if she knew how old her father was, the daughter replied, "My age. I've known him my whole life."

And on that note♫, please remember to STAY SAFE and be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP and WD.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: LIFE, OR SOMETHING LIKE IT (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Man, what a week it's been! The pandemic's been bad enough to deal with😷, but now with all the social issues facing the world...
Sometimes this baby companion dragon just wants to start flapping her wings and fly away from it all for at least a while, if not permanently.
But you humans don't have that option, and I still need to post some funny jokes as co-hostess of The Sunday Funnies, so let's just kick back and try to relax together for a bit. Okay?

For the past few days I've been waking up to see someone dumped LEGOS™ all over my bedroom floor. I don't know what to make of it.

Waxy's drawing of "Bubblehead"

Why is it easier to fall asleep accidentally on the couch than in your bed intentionally?

How come after Bubblehead, the human I'm stuck live with takes out the trash, he acts like he just cleaned the whole house?

Long before this pandemic started, Bubblehead used to sell security alarm systems door to door and was very good at it too.
If no one was home, he would just leave a brochure on their kitchen table and always got the sale!

Considering how this year's turned out so far, I’m glad I didn't waste my money on a 2020 planner.

As you can see in the picture on the left, I do try to help out around the house by attempting to do the laundry.
But is it my fault the instructions label was misprinted and said one CUP FULL of detergent instead of one CAP FULL?

To have something to do the other day, Bubblehead tried cleaning out the pantries.
He found a box of Cap’n Crunch™ cereal that was so old—
"HOW OLD WAS IT?" you shout.
It was so old he was only Lieutenant Crunch back then.
But I still haven't figured out yet where Bubblehead's hiding the Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫 this time!😕

Is it just me, or is anyone else starting to get a tan from their fridge light?

When we adjusted the clocks⌚ earlier this year, I seriously doubt we were supposed to go from Standard Time to The Twilight Zone.😉

And on that note♫, try to have a good week everybody!
STAY SAFE! And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: THE PANDEMIC PAUSE CONTINUES

Waxy, a dragon

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
I'm sure you're as unhappy with the Pandemic Pause as I am, but for the time being I will continue to only do inside jokes.
My condolences to those in quarantine with a loud person.
You thought dogs were hard to train?
Look at all the humans that can’t sit and stay.
Some places have tried various attempts at reopening, with the only real accomplishment being to create more cases.😷

I may be just a baby companion dragon, but I do understand and can relate to the concepts of being cooped up and stressed out, which is why Autumn the Puppy and I are trying to do the best we can to entertain you folks every Sunday as usual.
Yet stop and ask yourselves this:
What do you want more? Your health or whatever it is you wanted to buy from whatever business is closed right now?😒

Waxy's drawing of "Bubblehead".

It's not easy for us kids either.
For example, believe it or not I miss Dragon School. I still learn new things online at home but it isn't quite the same as being there, hanging out with my friends, and all the other stuff associated with what comprises my social life.

But mostly I'm worried about "Bubblehead", my nickname for the human I'm stuck live with.
He told me the other day "I’m coming out of quarantine either 100 pounds heavier or 50 pounds lighter."
Considering I still haven't found where he's hiding the Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫, I think we'll both be a little lighter when all this is over.

He ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves.
Today was the tip of the iceberg.

Bubblehead does go grocery shopping hunting at least once a week.
He gets up before the crack of dawn to be in line at the store when they open.
I'm just now getting up for the day when he gets home, but I still love him.
I help him put all the food away, and eat it too.😉

Life may be on hold, but you ARE still alive!

I'm not exactly sure what Bubblehead does for a living but he's been working from home a lot since this all began.
Then again, sometimes he complains about having to work at work, so I don't think I'll ever completely understand humans.
I will admit that it's a little uncomfortable having him constantly underfoot paw, but at least I know he's safe.💖

Occasionally I wonder if he'll ever go out and find himself a "Mrs. Bubblehead".
I can just picture the personal ad now...
"Single man with toilet paper would like to meet single woman with hand sanitizer for some good clean fun."

There was an interesting ad in the personals (hey, when you've read the whole paper, what else is left?) the other day. It said:
Dear Life:
When I asked “Can this get any worse?” That was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

I know things will get better in time. Hopefully everyone will be patient enough for it to do so.
Meanwhile, may your troubles be less and your blessings more and may nothing but happiness come through your door.
Take care. Have a great week. STAY SAFE! And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY 2020

Puppy

HELLO EVERYBODY! 

Dragon, duh!

Today you have both Autumn the Puppy & Waxy Dragon here as we unite via the Internet to observe MOTHERS' DAY!

That's right Autumn, and what with that dang pandemic putting everything on pause, it's been especially tougher than normal being a mother this year.

Afraid so Waxy.
One of the most difficult jobs a person can have within their lifetime is to be a parent.
It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to raise a child.
So here's to all our maternal parents!
You grand ladies know who you are.

But hey, it's a holiday, so let's celebrate!🙌
And you know what that means everybody...
IT'S JOKE TIME!

What is the "official" dance of Mothers' Day?
The Mom-bo.

What did the mother bee ask the cranky baby bee to do?
Beehave.

What did the baby porcupine ask the cactus?
Are you my mother?

Do baby lambs ask their mommies for their baa-baas when they’re hungry?

Folks, even without all the hassles and concerns that this COVID-19/Coronavirus crisis has raised, Mothers cook and clean and take care of their family and so much more that one lone day singled out to honor them just doesn't seem like enough.
So to every mother every where, not only do we sincerely thank you for being there and doing what you do, but we hope that you're taking care of yourselves as well.—AtP and wd.

The Sunday Funnies will return next weekend.
Until then, have a great week and STAY SAFE!

SUNDAY FUNNIES: WINGIN' IT DURING THE PANDEMIC

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
How's everyone doing? Hanging in there?😷
Well, even though it's our weekly job to begin with, Autumn the Puppy and I have certainly been doing our best to entertain you since the pandemic started and everyone found themselves ♫Under Pressure♫.
Even the Easter Bunny got into the act during his annual appearance this year!
Now we all know from first hand experience how tough self-isolation can be, but you have to admit that being alive sure beats the alternative!

Waxy's drawing of Bubblehead

I'm staying home and safe with Bubblehead, the human I'm stuck live with.
We don't always agree on everything, like him not giving me enough Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫 and insisting that I still have to take baths and do my homework, even though Dragon🐲 School is being held strictly over the Internet right now, but I do know he loves and cares for me like any parent would their child.

Yet if it's one thing being a member of the Sunday Funnies crew has taught me, it's how to serve lemonade🍵 when life hands you lemons🍋, so...

Depending upon your opponent, playing Battleship 🛳 is hit or miss.

Quarantine, Day 1: I have enough food to last me six weeks.
Quarantine, Day 2: I have eaten all my food, including my three month supply of toilet paper.🧻

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and all I find are ingredients.

I don't know what they'll be able to do for it this year but Shark Week🦈 used to be the safest time to go to the beach because all the sharks were on TV.📺
Of course, considering even the beaches are closed right now...

I wonder if clouds⛅ look down on us and say things like, "Hey, that one looks like an idiot."

I accidentally paid for my groceries with my library card.
My macaroni and cheese is due back Friday.😟

I've been doing a lot of arts and crafts lately and have discovered that Glitter is just sand that majored in Musical Theater.

Don't you wish Monopoly was real? Then you could own everything, provided you actually know where Mediterranean Avenue and all those other properties really are in the world.🌍
Or at least be owed various rents and able to collect $200 every time you passed 'Go'.😉

And on that note♫, STAY HOME. STAY SAFE, and STAY HEALTHY!
Take care and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: A BLUE SALUTE TO THE MEDICAL PROFESSION!

Autumn the Puppy

Waxy Dragon

Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here!
Since this whole pandemic started, everyone's been ♫Under Pressure♫,  but we've been trying our best at cheer leading hoping to get everyone to smile 😁 because despite the fact Sundays are Joke Time around here, there really hasn't been all that much to laugh about right now. Even the Easter Bunny🐰 got into the act this year!

If you haven't noticed yet, except for our signatures and the links, this column is in blue today because we are pawsing, pausing to salute those on the front lines in the medical profession who have been battling the COVID-19/Coronavirus crisis from the start!
Those tireless men and women who have been doing their best, even at the risk of their own lives.😷
So folks, these jokes are for YOU!

Funny, but we still don't know who to accredit the above to.

A strong person looks a challenge in the eye and winks.😉

If bakers keep wanting you to pose for pictures with their baked goods, does this make you an excellent Roll model?🙄

FYI: your phone📱 won’t auto-correct when you’re in caps lock because it assumes you are angry and it doesn’t want to get involved.

With all the hot topics on the internet, we won’t talk about thumbs. It’s beside the point.

My friend gave birth in her car on the way to the hospital. She and her husband named the baby Kid Carson.

Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly, maybe next week we can teach them to actually use their turn signals when driving!

And on that note♫, our esteemed Editor-In-Chief humbly suggested a song for the world to rally around, and we'd like to share it with you right now.

Please take care everybody!
STAY STRONG and STAY SAFE!
AtP and wd.

♫We are the Champions♫ written, performed, and © copyrighted by Queen/The Freddie Mercury Estate.
Video accessed and shared through YouTube via Google/Blogger.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: ♫SMILE, DARN YA, SMILE♫

HELLO EVERYBODY! WAXY DRAGON HERE!
For those who came in late—Autumn the Puppy and I have taken it upon ourselves to attempt cheering📣 everyone up as this stupid virus crisis continues.
Of course, if necessary, I look much better in a skirt and holding a pair of pom poms than she does. 😉
You can find my and her first efforts at this by clicking the links.

Anyway, while this is absolutely nothing to take lightly, we must keep our spirits up because it's way too easy to be or become depressed in these troubled times.

But it appears that Autumn and I are far from the only ones attempting this.
Neil Diamond got into the act with a new version of ♫Sweet Caroline♫!

Of course, this also brings up the subject of how to talk to your children about all of this, so here's one person's advice on that subject.

But this wouldn't be the Sunday Funnies without some jokes, so...

I am not sure how many cookies🍪 it takes to be happy?
I'm at 37 and still hungry.
Then again, I know I'd never get my full if we were discussing Belgosian Dark Chocolate!🍫

What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

A man opens a bottle🍾 and a genie appears!
The Genie🧞 says, “I shall grant you three wishes.”
The man👨 replies, “I wish a world without lawyers.”
The Genie says, “Done.  You have no more wishes.”
The man complains, “But you said I had three wishes.”
The Genie replies, “So sue me.”

Now then, I have one last video to share with everyone today.
The song is also the title of this week's post, and dates all the way back to the original Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies in the 1930s before being reused in a more modern classic.
It was good advice then and definitely good advice today. So...

Take care everybody!
STAY SAFE!
And please be back online again next time for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

All videos courtesy of YouTube.
The Free Choice E-zine didn't create, post, or own any of them. We're simply sharing to attempt cheering everyone up.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: ♫UNDER PRESSURE♫

I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!

HELLO EVERYBODY! WAXY DRAGON HERE!
Okay, let's stop and face facts for a moment.
No matter who says what, this COVID-19, also known as the Coronavirus is no laughing matter!

There's a big run on just about everything at the stores right now.
Even Belgosian Dark Chocolate! 🍫 *gasp!*

Schools and other things are temporarily closed.
Sports fans aren't happy about games being either delayed or cancelled but even hoarders aren't having a good time!
What's a baby companion dragon to do?

Drop back and punt! Seriously though, I may be ♫under pressure♫
and there's the perfect song cue! 😏

But as they say, the show goes on.

Why do EMTs travel in groups of two?

Because they want to be a pair of medics.

If they don’t expect me to dance in the aisles at grocery stores, why do they play music?

The COVID-19/Coronavirus Pandemic, Daylight Savings Time, Friday the 13th and a Full Moon all in the same week....
Who’s playing Jumanji?

Seriously though.
There is a LOT going on in the world right now, and it's VERY IMPORTANT to listen to your doctor's advice.
Especially this one...

With that in mind, take care everybody!
Be safe and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

All links active at the time of article posting. All videos found and posted from YouTube.
The Free Choice E-zine claims no copyright or ownership of them, just sharing them in the spirit of promoting good will.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: NO LAUGHING MATTER

♫I am woman, hear me bark!♫

♫I am woman, hear me roar!♫

Hello Everybody!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here because it's International Women's Day! 😁

And we'll get back to that in just a moment Autumn, but first we also have to deliver this public service announcement.

For those unaware of, yet affected by the fact that today is also the beginning of Daylight Savings Time in your area: WAKE UP!
If you had any appointments for anything today, you're already at least an hour late!

Now then...
The reason you have both of the Sunday Funnies' wonderful hostesses with you today is because it's INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY, with March being Women's History Month! 😁

RIGHT ON!
Women have been around since the dawn of time, yet for quite awhile we've been getting the short end of the stick. Granted, not a bad thing for canines, but still...

Think of all the great things women have done, and I'm not talking about just taking care of the house and raising families either.
Women have created some of the major inventions of our time!
Yet they didn't always receive credit for their achievements! 😧

The same's true in other areas Waxy. Women have made some great accomplishments, but they've had to work harder, and hardly ever got the support their male counterparts did. Even AFTER they made it to the "proverbial" top, provided they didn't hit the "glass ceiling".

There's also the issue of equal pay for equal work.

True, and what about having the right to vote, let alone even run for any office?

♫We were suffering, until sufferage!♫—Schoolhouse Rock.

But do you want to know what the worst part of all of this is?
IT'S STILL HAPPENING TODAY!

And that's NO JOKE folks!

Okay, not one of our more humorous installments, but then again, what is there to laugh at about inequality?

On that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP and wd.

♫Sufferin' 'til Sufferage (The 19th Amendment)♫ and Schoolhouse Rock copyrighted by whoever.
Video courtesy of YouTube, which we only accessed via the Internet.
ALL LINKS ACTIVE AT THE TIME OF POSTING.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: SUNDAY PUNNIES

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!
Being just a baby companion dragon, I go to Dragon School just like human kids go to their school, but I've got to tell you, the English language is quite interesting.
It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
One thing I have developed quite an interest in is the pun.
Those funny comments brought about when similar words are used in place of the ones that should have been said.
Or in other words, guess what today's Sunday Punnies are about! 😉

I got sick at a small hotel🏨 in Madrid.
I called the front desk and they said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor came and made me feel better.
I told him that I was amazed that a hotel this small had a doctor on staff.
He said, “No one expects the Spanish Inn Physician.”

On the radio, they were talking about a metaphor.
I was wondering, what is a meta for anyway?

I went to a disgusting hotel called THE FIDDLE.🎻
It turned out to be a Vile Inn.

Broken pencils✎ are pointless!

I once stayed up all night to see the sun rise.🌅

Then it dawned on me.🌞

We recently took a class field trip to a soda factory.

I wonder if there will be a pop quiz?

Waxy's drawing of "Bubblehead"

Bubblehead (the human I'm stuck live with) originally didn't like his new beard.
Then it grew on him.🧔

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A Thesaurus!

What does a clock⏰ do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.

Speaking of which, I would love to have some Belgosian Dark Chocolate🍫 right now.
I wonder where Bubblehead is hiding it this time?

So while I go chocolate hunting, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: VALENTINE'S DAY 2020

Loves her family

Loves Bubblehead, but don't tell him!

HELLO ALL YOU LUCKY PEOPLE!
Once again you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here as we celebrate Valentine's Day.

That's right Autumn. Of course, Valentine's Day actually isn't until this coming Friday the 14th, and luckily it isn't on a Friday the 13th☁, but considering we only work Sundays, this is the closest we can get to celebrating romance this year.

Afraid so Waxy, and considering how much we love💕 jokes, let's get right to them!

What did the stamp 🖃 say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
I'm stuck on you!

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
Because it's all heart.💗

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
Forget-me-nuts.

What did one volcano🌋 say to the other?
I lava you.

Why did the banana🍌 go out with the prune?
Because it couldn't get a date.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ughs and kisses!

Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.

What did the paper clip🖇 say to the magnet🧲?
I find you very attractive.

What did the elephant🐘 say to his girlfriend?
I love you a ton!

What did one pickle say to the other?
You mean a great dill to me.


What did the light bulb💡 say to the switch?
You turn me on.

What did the boy bird🐦 say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
Let me call you Tweet heart!

What did the boy cat🐱 say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?
You're purrr-fect for me!😻

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Atlas
Atlas who?
Atlas, its Valentine’s Day!😍

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody! Show the one you love how much you care about them on the 14th and the rest of the year as well, and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP and wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: GROUNDHOG VERSUS FOOTBALL 2020

I can catch that ball! *CHOMP!*

Forget the football. PASS THE SNACKS!

Hello All You Lucky People!
Today you have both Autumn the Puppy AND Waxy Dragon here as we celebrate a double header for the February 2, 2020 Sunday Funnies!

That's right Autumn, because today is BOTH Groundhog's Day and the annual competition known as "The Big Game" for those of us who will not pay the corporate licensing fees to have the rights to call the 54th edition by its proper name.

Personally, I've never seen the attraction to football🏈 myself Waxy. After all, they're hard to grip in your teeth and taste awful.
But, with the dependability of a certain Bill Murray movie, we are proud to present our annual salute to that furry rodent.

“Is this the law firm of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe?” asked the lady as she walked in my front door.
“Yes it is,” I replied. “I’m Howie Cheatum. And you are--?”

A groundhog.

“Susan Woo,” she replied, “but you can call me Sue.”
“Okay Sue. And what can I do for you today?”
“I want to engage your services to represent myself as I initiate a law suit.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right place. Who do you want to sue?”
“Punxsutawney Phil.”
“You want to sue who?” I asked in disbelief.
“Not myself silly. Punxsutawney Phil.”
“The groundhog?” I asked, trying to confirm what I heard the first time.
“Yes, that filthy animal,” replied Sue.
“Why?”
“Because this year he/it claimed we would have six weeks of relatively mild weather and an early spring. None of that came true. I couldn’t break out my spring wardrobe when I wanted to. I hurt my back shoveling the driveway myself because I dismissed the snow plow service early thinking I wouldn’t need them any more this season. Should I go on?”
“No, I get the idea. And on what grounds would you like to initiate this lawsuit?”
“Don’t you think at a courthouse would be best?” she asked.
“What I meant was, for what reasons did you want to sue?”
“I figured breach of promise at the very least, and whatever else is applicable,” she replied. “The late winter has just totally ruined spring, and who knows just how that is going to affect summer. The trees are barely beginning to bud as it is. Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if fall arrives on time anyway and cuts whatever is left of spring and summer short this year.”
“I see,” I said, pausing momentarily to wonder why I always got stuck with the live ones. “Let me look up some reference material on the subject,” I said, before turning to use my computer terminal. After a couple of minutes on Wikipedia, I said, “You do realize that this is all just traditional superstition dating back to at least the 1800s in America and at least the fifth century in Europe.”
“So, that means that Punxsutawney Phil should have been a lot more accurate in his prediction than he actually was, right?”
“Well, that’s one way of looking at it,” I agreed while reading the data some more. “While he only has a 39% accuracy rating, it says here that Punxsutawney Phil isn’t the only one who is used to predict the weather.”
“Oh?”
“There’s Jimmy the Groundhog in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin; Holtsville Hall and Dunkirk Dave, wherever they reside, all said that there would be six more weeks of winter. Phil and a bunch of others on this list all predicted an early spring,” I said, showing her what it said on my computer monitor.

Or am I?

“Good. Let’s start a class action suit and go after all of them!”
“It just doesn’t quite work that way. The animals themselves never specifically said what the weather would be. Humans just interpreted the situational conditions as best they could.”
“Well let’s sue them,” said Sue.
“That doesn’t work either. None of them were trained professionals paid to do that job. It would be like me trying to predict the weather just by looking out the window.”
“Then are you suggesting that I should sue the weathermen?”
“Actually, you don’t have a case against anybody involved with Groundhog’s Day predictions. That’s all they were, just predictions. None were legally binding.”
“Then can I sue you?”
“For what?” I asked in disbelief.
“For not taking my case.”
While it would not actually get far in the court system, in this day and age, I’d be surprised if she didn’t find somebody willing to take the case.

Well Autumn, for what it's worth, the Groundhog did NOT see his shadow today, so hopefully we will have six weeks of good weather and an early Spring!
But while my favorite sports are baseball⚾ and eating Belgosian Dark Chocolate, especially if I can eat Belgosian Dark Chocolate AT a baseball game, we dive into the Sunday Funnies Archives and present that great classic: Andy Griffith's What It Was, Was Football! Unfortunately we couldn't find the version we posted for years that was accompanied with the illustrations from the Mad magazine adaptation by George Woodbridge, but this one is courtesy of YouTube too and remember, we didn't create the video or the material within, we're only sharing it with our fans.

And on that note♫, have a great week everybody and please be back here again next time for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP and wd.