My topic for subbing on the Sunday Funnies this time shall be movies.
We've all seen them.
The classics.
The special effects laden bombs and blockbusters.
The subtitled masterpieces and yawners.
The originals, the remakes, the remakes of remakes, and the outright spoofs and rip-offs of the remakes...
In any event, have you ever noticed how many cliches seem to occur in movies?
1. Large, loft-style apartments in any major city are well within the price range of most people -- whether they are employed or not.
Guess it's more attractive than living in a flea bag apartment and sharing a bathroom with cockroaches. Although, didn't they make a movie based on that idea too?
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is always evil.
Okay, Cain and Abel might have been the originals, but what do you think the odds are of that pattern continuing year after year after year...
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Right... and if you believe that, I'll be more than happy to sell you some prime beach front property in the middle of the desert.
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| Only good for playing "Space Invaders". Do not try to defeat them in real life using this machine! |
Well, a laptop would at least give you the mobility to run when they started training their weapons on you.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
I'm surprised no one ever set up one of those "Take A Number" machines at the start of one of those fights.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
Actually, it's just a question of what filter is over the camera lens at the time, but that would be a neat trick in real life. Wouldn't work in any movie featuring characters from Avatar or the Smurfs, but still...
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| A Rube Goldberg invention (image via Wikipedia) |
7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
Mega villains nowadays must all be fans of Rube Goldberg!
8. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
As much as I enjoy it myself, I didn't realize it was that popular. Then again, you never see something more common like milk, eggs, canned goods, etc; sticking out of that bag.
Personally, what I would really love to see is some truly ORIGINAL plots in movies once more.
Then again, guess they have to cut corners somewhere to cover performer salaries and special effects budgets.
In any event, take care everyone. Have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—lth,jr.
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