SUNDAY FUNNIES: MOVIE MAGIC

 Hello Everybody!

The Free Choice E-zine's Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here because both Piper D. Katt and Koda Canine have the weekend off since it's Labor Day between the United States and Canada.

You know, one thing I've really loved over the years is movies.🎥

I've seen a lot of them from Casablanca to the CGI version of Godzilla versus King Kong and thousands more, whether they were originally made for the "Silver Screen" or television.

However, lately it's just been TV either through cable or the DVR since COVID first appeared. 😷

But whether it's a science fiction extravaganza or a more down to earth romantic comedy, any movie has a lot in common with its brethren. Like, for example...

All telephone📱 numbers, at least in America, begin with the digits 555.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

If you decide to start singing and/or dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the words and/or steps.

No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

Computers never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.

Once applied, a woman's makeup will never rub off, even in or under water.

All watches and clocks are synchronized to the second.

No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts — your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.😕

So grab some popcorn. Kick back and relax with a good movie.

Take care.

STAY SAFE!😷

And please be back here next weekend when Piper D. Katt and Koda Canine team up for our annual Back to School salute on The Sunday Funnies!—lh,jr.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: MOVIE MAGIC

"Pass the popcorn. NOW!"

Hello Everybody! Waxy Dragon here!

Now, one thing parents always worry about when their kids are home are the little ones sitting in front of their TVs or computer screens playing too many video games.

Not ol' Bubblehead, who's responsible for my health and well being.
Considering I still haven't found where he hid the game controllers yet, I spend most of my screen time watching movies, and it's amazing the secrets you learn from them. Like...

Most movie dogs are immortal, which certainly makes Autumn the Puppy happy.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing parade at any time of the year.

Failing that, there's always a handy, nearby crowd to lose yourself in.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of french bread, which must make the local bakery very happy.

It's easy to land a plane if there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Then again, when I go flying, I never need a plane.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off.
Human females seem to love that stuff, but I think it tastes awful.

Waxy's favs!

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want with little difficulty.

Kids, DON'T try that at home! It's difficult for a baby dragon to do so to begin with. I always have to keep my wings folded against my body to get through those things, which always gives me wing cramps.

Not big enough for Waxy!

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill. Just grab one at random and
hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Now if only I had one of those magic wallets. Then again, I never ride in taxis and those things never seem to work for anything else.

On that note, I'm going to watch some more movies if I can find where Bubblehead hid the remote controls for the cable box and the TV set.

Have a good week and please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—wd.

SUNDAY FUNNIES: CINEMA CLICHES (movie jokes)

Hello Everybody! Editor-in-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here, for Autumn the Puppy and Waxy Dragon have the 4th of July holiday weekend here in America off.

My topic for subbing on the Sunday Funnies this time shall be movies.

We've all seen them.
The classics.
The special effects laden bombs and blockbusters.
The subtitled masterpieces and yawners.
The originals, the remakes, the remakes of remakes, and the outright spoofs and rip-offs of the remakes...

In any event, have you ever noticed how many cliches seem to occur in movies?

1. Large, loft-style apartments in any major city are well within the price range of most people -- whether they are employed or not.
Guess it's more attractive than living in a flea bag apartment and sharing a bathroom with cockroaches. Although, didn't they make a movie based on that idea too?

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is always evil.
Okay, Cain and Abel might have been the originals, but what do you think the odds are of that pattern continuing year after year after year...

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Right... and if you believe that, I'll be more than happy to sell you some prime beach front property in the middle of the desert.

Only good for playing "Space Invaders".
Do not try to defeat them in real life using this machine!

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
Well, a laptop would at least give you the mobility to run when they started training their weapons on you.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
I'm surprised no one ever set up one of those "Take A Number" machines at the start of one of those fights.


6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
Actually, it's just a question of what filter is over the camera lens at the time, but that would be a neat trick in real life. Wouldn't work in any movie featuring characters from Avatar or the Smurfs, but still...

A Rube Goldberg invention (image via Wikipedia)

7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
Mega villains nowadays must all be fans of Rube Goldberg!

8. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
As much as I enjoy it myself, I didn't realize it was that popular. Then again, you never see something more common like milk, eggs, canned goods, etc; sticking out of that bag.

Personally, what I would really love to see is some truly ORIGINAL plots in movies once more.
Then again, guess they have to cut corners somewhere to cover performer salaries and special effects budgets.
In any event, take care everyone. Have a great week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—lth,jr.