Sunday, September 25, 2016

SUNDAY FUNNIES: SMART JOKES (misc. jokes)

Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here!
Sometimes it's very difficult to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
There are times when I come across a great joke, but none of my fellow dogs get it.
They'd rather spend all their time eating, sleeping, and dreaming about eating and sleeping.
Therefore, I'm gonna share some of these great jokes with you folks.
Ready?

In the herb garden, Basil said, "Enjoy the sunshine while you can. Eventually we all will end up in recipes."
Rosemary thought this sage advice was a long thyme cumin.

A-void-a-ble (verb)
A Royal Flush!
Definition: what bullfighters try to do. Avoid the bull.

Did you hear someone stole all the toilets in the public restroom last month?
The crime remains unsolved because the police still have nothing to go on.

A man's wife wanted to watch a scary movie, so he took a video of him opening their credit card bills.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore .

During the last intermission of a performance of Beethoven's ninth symphony, the conductor realized the last few pages of his sheet music was missing.
He told his assistant about it, who remembered those pages fell out in the dressing room, which was now locked. The assistant promised he would get them to the conductor before the intermission was over.
"I hope so," growled the conductor, "and while you are at it, keep your eyes on the bass players. They've been drinking since this intermission started."
The assistant got coffee into the bass players and then hunted down a security man with keys to the conductor's dressing room.
The guard asked, "What's all the fuss about?
The assistant said, "It's the bottom of the 9th,  the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."

And on that note, have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—AtP.

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