Sunday, December 5, 2021

SUNDAY FUNNIES: DIET DIATRIBE

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!
Some say ♫Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat.♫
Being strictly an indoor cat, I want to know what a goose is to begin with.
Sometimes I hear this weird honking noise off in the distance when I'm sleeping near a window and have been told those are geese, implying more than one goose.
But that still doesn't tell me what a goose is.
My people have certainly never brought home goose flavored cat food.
None of their children have goose toys.
So why should it matter that a goose is getting fat at Christmas?
I know a lot of people and animals that are always complaining about their weight but dieting is not easy by any stretch of the imagination.
After all, an alcoholic can give up liquor.
A smoker can give up tobacco.
But who can totally give up food and still survive?😕
I hear becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

You don’t need mushroom to grow edible funguses, b
Dieting is a question of balance.
ut I have yet to see anyone come home with or enjoy a jar of Toe Jam. 😝

What do deer really caribout?
STAYING ALIVE if they're in the wild, and getting to pull Santa's sleigh if they live near the North Pole.

The honeydew centered series was a melondrama.

The best day for fruit juice is Cider Day.

Time pieces always seem able to eat whatever they want.
They can always go back four seconds.😉

A dog’s favorite pastry is barklava.

It is a proven, scientific fact that the most fattening thing you can put in Ice Cream is a spoon!

The toughest part of any diet isn't watching what you eat.
It's watching what everyone else eats, so maybe it's best to eat alone?

But if a human REALLY wants to lose weight, why don't they wear a cone around their necks like they make us do sometimes after we've been to the vet?

On that note♫ take care.
STAY SAFE!😷
And please be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!PDK.

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