SUNDAY FUNNIES: CATTY REMARKS (misc. jokes)

 Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon outside the picture window I'm laying against. The sun🌞 is shining. The birds🐦🐦 are singing.

If I'm dreaming, please don't wake me up until it's time for diner.

If Spring is finally showing up, well it's about time!

Either way, it's time for some jokes. Ready?

Did you hear about the new Broadway production?

A hit playwright created a new comedy called "Broken Bones".

It's guaranteed to leave every audience in stitches but still needs a cast.

A seashore may indicate an island, but water isn't land.

Is a Vegetarian a Vegetable Doctor?

Makes you wonder what's on the cop's sign of the sign.

Imagine ordering lettuce to "Turn your head and cough."

Is an unimportant pachyderm irrelephant?🐘

I have no idea why iPhone chargers are not called APPLE JUICE.

Did you hear about the break-in at the Apple store?

Police are looking for an iWITNESS. 

Some people think since I'm a cat, that if laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

WRONG!

I'd come in first and take a nap on that podium while waiting for the other racers to finish! 😸

Some people claim it's wrong to talk to animals.

What am I supposed to do when my fellow animals ask me a question? Ignore them?

Then again, I'm a cat and I'm talking to you right now, and you know how cats hate to be ignored!😼

And don't deny there are some people out there who hate being ignored too.

If you tell everyone you can't afford to go on a vacation this year, do your empty suitcases become emotional baggage?

There are times when I wonder if what people really need is to have a 364 day paid vacation, and then call in sick to work that one day they're supposed to be there before starting their next paid vacation.

Then again, even if you could afford my cat food, would you be too busy on your vacation to open a can for me?

Sometimes when I'm creating these posts I forget how to spell a word, so I change the entire sentence to avoid using that word.

Then again, I know T-H-A-T spells That.

Sometimes when my people have the TV on and are watching the news, I have to wonder if we are now living in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so dumb people won’t be offended.

And remember, if nothing is perfect and your enemy calls you a nothing, then you're perfect!

So on that note♫, take care.

STAY SAFE!😷

Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.