SUNDAY FUNNIES: QUOTING CELEBRITIES WITH PIPER D. KATT

Hello Everybody! Piper D. Katt here!

Once again, it's time for Celebrity Quotes. Celebrity Citings, or whatever you want to call this routine.

As usual, I will post a quote from someone famous, and then my response afterward. Ready?

"Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?"~~ Comedian Phyllis Diller.

I can't speak from personal experience since I'm a cat, but somebody has to clean my litterbox!

"I was in the far east and went to a restaurant. I ordered Octopus and the waiter said it will be four hours. When I asked why, he said, “Because it keeps turning the gas off."~~Comedic Actor Frank Carson.

All my food comes in either cans and bags. My problem is that, while I can always rip the bags open with my claws, I have yet to figure out how to use a can opener!😾

Misquote or sales pitch?

"Life really begins at 40. Until then, you are doing research."~~Noted Psychiatrist Carl Jung.

Oh yeah? Then what do you do with all that info you are now too old to use?

"If English made any sense, LACKADAISICAL would have something to do with a shortage of flowers."~~Famous columnist Doug Larson.

Well, we're between late fall and early winter as I type this, so there aren't many flowers to begin with, but that makes about as much sense as why do people park in a driveway and drive on a parkway.

"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players."~~Playwright William Shakespeare from As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 7.

If the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

And how come no one has learned their parts? Because it seems to meow that all the actors are ad-libbing their lines.

"Beware of false knowledge; It is more dangerous than ignorance."~~Playwright George Bernard Shaw. 

Caveat Emptor. Let the buyer and voter beware!

So on that note♫, have a great week.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

And please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!—PDK.