AND NOW IT’S TIME FOR WEEKEND PUPDATE
WITH YOUR HOST KODA CANINE.
I’m Koda Canine, and unfortunately my favorite baseball⚾ team can't serve any more drinks at their ballpark this season because they lost their home opener. 😞
Our top story:
A shapely nude woman is reportedly on a crime spree robbing banks, but police say they have nothing to go on because no one can remember her face.
Scientists calculate that if you weigh 200 pounds on Earth, you only weigh 84 pounds on Mars and 13 pounds on Pluto.
Their conclusion being that people are not fat, just on the wrong planet.
A riot broke out at the kleptomaniac convention when one attendee arrived late and found every seat taken.
 |
| WHERE IS IT? |
A new study shows trees🌲🌳 feel re-leaved when spring comes.
But where the heck is Spring anyway?
Did it miss the bus?
Did it oversleep?
Where’s Spring?
And now, a word from our sponsor.
Blinkers not blinking?
Fuses and bulbs fine?
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Call 555-WEWANTYOUR$
Now, back to what passes for the news.
If you’re wearing pink today, you obviously forgot to separate your red clothing from your whites when doing laundry.
I heard a scientist came up with an acid that will eat through absolutely anything.
I wonder what he stores it in?
Now it’s time for my editorial.
My people just got a universal remote that is supposed to change everything. However I just found out that it only works on the television set. What a bummer.
NEWS ALERT!!
A kaiju monster size snail🐌 is rampaging the city. Walk for your lives!!!
When asked "What you would do if you found out that your child was a Homo-Sapien?" 55% of the Conservative Christians questioned said they would disown them and force them to leave home.
Homo Sapien is the scientific name for a human being.
Too bad this isn’t a joke.
And finally:
Remember: your wrinkles show you laugh. Any gray hair shows you care and any scars show you’re living.
On that note♫, take care.
STAY SAFE!
Have a great week and please be back next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.
For Weekend Pupdate, I’m Koda Canine.
NEXT SUNDAY: EB the Easter Bunny🐰 hops by for his annual visit!
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