THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: NOVEMBER 29, 2009

Hello Everybody! Editor-In-Chief Lee Houston, Junior here.
Ms. Waxy Dragon has the holiday weekend off, but did leave one joke she wants me to share with everyone.

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
If you ask the question before Thanksgiving, the answer is: To escape being Thanksgiving dinner.
If you ask the question after Thanksgiving, the answer is: To celebrate not being Thanksgiving dinner.

Either way, I hope the turkey looks both ways before it tries to cross the street.

In any event, I do have two comedy news items to report on.

Robin Williams will have an HBO special scheduled to air December 6.
Even if he just sat on a stool and read old grocery lists it would be hilarious. So I'm sure this event will be a laugh riot, although being on HBO, the content might not be suitable for all viewers.
Check your local listings for specific time and channel.

But something that is age appropriate for everyone is taking the Internet by storm! The Muppets have released their own version of the Queen classic Bohemian Rhapsody that is a big hit on YouTube and other web sites right now.
Starting off with Gonzo and a chicken chorus before Animal takes a beautiful solo turn in the spotlight, the video features Rowlf the Dog on piano and Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem along to rock the house. The video features over 40 Muppets during the course of the song.
Here's hoping that those zany characters decide to do more music videos.

And if you want to see the Muppets version of this tune, while I do not know the legalities of including the video with this post as some websites have done, I have included a link for you to see it directly on the YouTube site at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY&feature=player_embedded

How's that for a holiday trifecta? Turkeys, Robin Williams, and Muppets!
Everyone take care and we'll be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies!
-lhjr.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 22-28, 2009

*President Barack Obama has started procedures to continue military action in Afghanistan, citing a need to "finish the mission over there and not leave it for the next President to deal with". In a related note, Obama's use of the word "unprecedented" seems to be irking some Republicans, especially in regards his administration having to deal with on going problems of the past.
*As civil and political unrest continues in Iran, the United Nations is now concerned about a new radioactive material processing plant being constructed in that country.
*Two would be reality show contestants who shall remain nameless in THIS e-zine managed to crash a White House State dinner November 24. The Secret Service is investigating the matter.
THIS MONTH IN HISTORY:
In 1789, what is now North Carolina became a member of the United States of America while in 1889 Washington, along with North and South Dakota joined the Union.
IN SPORTS:
*Police are investigating a recent car accident involving golfer Tiger Woods.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:
*While Oprah Winfrey might of announced the impending end of her long running television show, this week she announced that she will be starting her own cable network. Some pundits are wondering if she plans to star in and/or host a new program there once it is up and running.
*The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is celebrating its 25th anniversary!
*Comedy fans are looking forward to the impending release of a remastered collection of the Carl Reiner/Mel Brooks classic The 2000 Year Old Man routines.

For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen.

THE PUZZLE CORNER: NOVEMBER 28, 2009

Okay Puzzle Fans. It might be a holiday weekend, but that doesn't mean we can't still have fun.

But before we begin, here's a math trick for you.
Everyone knows that one multiplied by any number equals that number (1 x # = #).
But have you ever wondered about the one itself?
1 x 11 = 11, 1 x 111 = 111; etc. But what if there were more ones on both sides?
11 x 11 = 121, 111 x 111 = 12321, 1111 x 1111 = 1234321; etc.
And if one side happens to have an extra 1 you get answers like 11 x 111 = 1221, 111 x 1111 = 123321, etc.
Try it for yourself and see!

Now then, here's an easy(?) TV Quiz for you!
Some shows have acronyms/initials in their names.
Your job is to say what the letters stand for, if you can.

01. Mister D. A.
02. Today's F.B.I.
03. C.S.I. (regardless of what city it's based in)
04. N.C.I.S. (whether the original or the Los Angeles spin off)
05. The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
06. A.E.S. Hudson Street
07. CHiPS
08. M*A*S*H
09. ALF
10. C.P.O. Sharkey

The show titles will be decoded next weekend. But for now, let's dive into THE ANSWERS BOX for the results of last weekend's Puzzle Corner.

TRIVIA TIME
While a day of giving Thanks was allegedly held by the Pilgrims upon the first anniversary of their arrival in the New World (America), the idea was first officially proposed by then President George Washington on October 3, 1789.
It wasn't until during the tenure of President Franklin Roosevelt that the date was finalized as the Thursday of the last full week of November.

THE LETTER SHUFFLE
So how many words could you make out of THANKSGIVING?
With some extra letters available to you (A, G, G, H, I, I, K, N, N, S, T, V) the following are possible: A, Ah, An, Ant(s), As, At, Gag(s), Gang(s), Gas, Gain(s), Giant(s), Gig(s), Giving, Hat(s), Having, Hi, High(s), Hiking, I, In, Ink(s), Inn(s), Is, It, Its (there is no apostrophe for It's), Kin, King(s), Kit(s), Knit(s), Nag(s), Nit(s), Sag, Saint, Saving, Shin, Sin, Sink, Sinking, Ski, Skin, Skit, Snit, Stain, Tag(s), Tank(s), Thank(s), Thin, This, Tin, Van(s), AND Visit.
More than the 70 listed above might be possible.

BLACK FRIDAY 2009

As I post this, it is still about ninety minutes from midnight, and a few additional hours away from the start of the 2009 holiday shopping season as a lot of stores and (hopefully) consumers gear up for Black Friday.
In this case, the term is not politically incorrect but, depending upon which theory you believe, refers to either the retailers' hope that their profit margins go from the redness of debt to the blackness of profit; or the more modern theory that the name is derived from the fact that a lot of stores will be open long before sunrise Friday morning!
The average opening time for this event seems to be 4 a.m., with most open by six, although one retailer started advertising late Tuesday night that they would be opening at THREE A.M. when previous ads simply stated "Opening early Friday morning."
Now whether or not this annual sales gimmick works remains to be seen. Pundits theorize that a lot of the consumer base that is planning to shop this holiday season will be going for more basic staples of life instead of the more extravagant/high priced items of the past.
And weather will certainly be a factor in the northern climates, which might keep all but the most ambitious from shopping.

As for me, the only place I intend to be in the wee hours of Black Friday morning is sound asleep in my bed!

THANKSGIVING 2009

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!

Over the years, the thoughts of preparing big fancy feasts, football games, and getting ready for the start of the Christmas shopping season have become part of today.
But let us not forget the TRUE purpose behind this holiday.
It is for taking the time to be grateful for what you have.
A chance to reflect upon and appreciate family and friends.
The opportunity to do something all of us should be doing EVERY day: appreciating life itself!
So regardless of whatever other activities you might participate in today, please don't forget to be thankful.

lh,jr
Thanksgiving 2009

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: NOVEMBER 22, 2009

Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!

After all the funny dog pictures last weekend, I went looking for some funny cat pictures and found a really great web site called "I Can Has Cheezburger?" at www.icanhascheezburger.com

They have a whole lot of funny cat photos and jokes that I really enjoyed.

There is also a funny dog website called "I Has A Hot Dog" at www.ihasahotdog.com

Meanwhile, here is another funny dog photo from reader Ann Lopez. I wrote the joke with it.

"And to think, this is the runt of the litter!"

If you have any funny jokes or photos you would like to share, just send them to me in care of my editor at FreeChoiceEzine@gmail.com and we'll be back next weekend with more Sunday Funnies.-wd.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW: NOVEMBER 15-21, 2009

*We begin this review as we did a previous one, apologizing for the delay in posting. Although this time it is so we can announce that the Senate has approved their version of a Health Care Reform Act. Sometime after the Thanksgiving holiday, Congress will convene to unify the Senate and House of Representatives bills into one measure to present to President Obama for consideration.
*One possible aspect of the Health Care Reform Act that is sure to get some attention is a new proposal that elective cosmetic surgery (liposuction, nips and tucks, etc.) should be taxed.
*Meanwhile, the President is still overseas concluding his current foreign relations tour.
*U.S. District judge Stanwood Duval has ruled that because of their negligence in maintaining the levees, residents of New Orleans (especially of the Saint Bernard Parish and the Lower Ninth Ward) have the right to sue the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers for damages resulting from Hurricane Katrina.
*Due to budget cuts, postal workers are no longer forwarding letters to Santa Claus that have found their way to North Pole, Alaska instead of the actual North Pole.
*Although the service was so bad that they had to get their own silverware and napkins, patrons Pope and John Wagner were arrested by police at a Bethlehem, Pennsylvania restaurant for not paying the MANDATORY 16% gratuity! Although given the circumstances, their lawyer thinks the charges will be dismissed when the case is presented before a judge, remind me NEVER to eat in Pennsylvania!
*Did you know that Florida, Utah, Maine, Vermont, Colorado, and Hawaii all have legal restrictions against drying your clothes outside? And many home owner associations in other states are lobbying their lawmakers to pass similar measures? If they don't like the idea, get them to pay the electric bill for the dryers!
*Due to the heavy rains earlier this year, there may be a pumpkin shortage trying to prepare Thanksgiving dinner next week.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS...
*Oprah Winfrey has announced that the end of the current (25th) season will also conclude her long running day time talk show.
*And People magazine has named actor Johnny Depp 2009's Sexiest Man Alive.

For more news at any time, just scroll down to the IN OTHER NEWS feature at the bottom of your screen.