Sunday, July 15, 2012

SUNDAE FUNNIES: HUMANS 101, MEDICALLY SPEAKING...

"I scream, you sceam, ICE CREAM!"
Hello Everybody! Ms. Waxy Dragon here!
Now, I'm out for the summer from Dragon School, and I've got to tell you, I learned so much that at times it makes my little head hurt.
One of my favorite classes was Humans 101. I learned a lot about you folks in it.
For example: Despite what some of my ancestors might have thought back in "mid-evil" times, you Humans are not crunchy, nor do you taste good with ketchup.
In fact, from what I've heard, you're kind of squishy on the inside.
YUCK!
Anyway, Humans have to go to doctors just like us dragons because you worry about your health and want to take care of yourselves the best you can.
I see the ads on television all the time for this pill or that medicine. But I've got to tell you, with all those warnings at the end of the ad, maybe you'll be better off with the problem than taking the remedy!
The main things I've seen advertised lately regarding Human health is urging every guy to go "See Alice", whoever she is, and dieting.
Now, thankfully dragons don't have to worry about our weight as much as Humans do. Besides, I'm a baby dragon and still have a LOT of growing to do. Someday.
But to help out my fans I've been studying this weight issue the best I can, and I think I have a solution.
DON'T USE SHAMPOO IN THE SHOWER ANY MORE!
Of course, I don't know why all you folks can't afford the real stuff instead of the sham varieties, but that's another matter.
Yet my point is most shampoos claim to add extra volume and body, so as it runs down your sides when you're washing it out of your hair, no wonder you're gaining weight!
My solution? Find a liquid dish washing detergent that promises to dissolve the fat and grease that sticks to your dishes, pots, and pans.
That way, when it runs down your body while you're rinsing your hair out, you're helping your weight loss plan too!
Simple, huh?

Today is also National Ice Cream Day here in the United States. I have no idea why it isn't an actual holiday here in America, let alone around the world, but I know how I'm gonna celebrate!
Of course, being a dragon, none of the stuff I try to eat stays frozen for long, so that just means I get to eat more sooner.
Lucky me!
However you care to celebrate Ice Cream Day, have a good week and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies.--wd.

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