Sunday, July 22, 2012


"I am NOT an oxymoron!"
Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here!
In my last Sunday Funnies appearance ( I discussed oxymorons, those figures of speech that combine contradictory terms.
Well, since that column appeared, I've thought of several more, as well as gathered up all the suggestions you readers have sent me at; and would like to share them with you now.

*Act Naturally
*Found missing
*Resident Alien (Really? From what planet?)
*Genuine imitation (As compared to a real imitation?)
*Airline Food (barf!)
*Good Grief! (Accredited to Charles Schulz of Peanuts fame)
*Child proof (There are a LOT of parents who submitted this one!)
*"Now, then..."
*Synthetic Natural Gas
*Passive Aggression (And Ghandi's Peaceful Resistance too)
*Taped Live (before a studio audience)
*Clearly misunderstood (Is there any other way to misunderstand something?)
*Peace Force (I can see where this is technically an oxymoron, but I definitely prefer peace to war)
*Extinct Life (as opposed to Live Life, I guess)
*Temporary Tax increase
*Computer jock (maybe an oxymoron, but definitely a better term than computer nerd)
*Plastic glasses (Hey, I drink out of a plastic bowl, so go figure)
*Terribly pleased
*Almost exactly
*Sanitary landfill (What? Were you REALLY expecting a clean landfill? It's a landfill! Geez!)
*Alone together (along with "Alone at last". If you're with someone, are you really alone?)
*Legally drunk (Is this a truly worthwhile objective?)
*Silent scream (only if you're in the vacuum of outer space)
*Computer security (with all the hackers out there...)
*Political Science (Since when do Republicans actually care about facts?)
*Small crowd
*Tight slacks (submitted by a lot of men for some reason)
*Definite maybe (submitted by a lot of parents with small children)
*Soft Rock (in music. Hard rock doesn't qualify since rocks are hard)
*Military intelligence (do I REALLY have to explain that one?)
*Butt Head (submitted a lot by someone named Beavis)
*Twelve ounce pound cake
*Pretty ugly (but remember folks, beauty is subjective and always in the eye of the beholder)
*Diet ice cream (YUCK!)
*New classic (or neo classic)
*Exact estimate
*Working vacation (more people are taking them, but when do you get to rest?)
*The Three Stooges (Yes, they are morons. But oxymorons? No. The name is accurate. There are three of them.)

And finally, someone suggested both Waxy Dragon and myself as oxymorons, because who ever heard of a talking dragon or a talking puppy?
To that, I say just because you haven't met us, don't discount what you haven't seen with your own eyes.
And on that note, I hope everyone has a great week and will be back here again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--A very REAL Autumn the Puppy! WOOF!

No comments: