THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: REMEMBERING ROBIN WILLIAMS (1951-2014)

Waxy Dragon's post originally scheduled for today will appear next weekend, as The Sunday Funnies pauses to remember a man we tragically lost last week. While a mere transcript cannot do his comic genius justice, ladies and gentlemen: Mister Robin Williams!

FROM THE 1986 CD A NIGHT AT THE MET...

Isn't it strange to think that in Georgia, if you commit sodomy they're going to put you in a cell with another man who's going to sodomize you.

That's Southern logic.

It says in the Constitution you have the right to bare arms or the right to arm bears, not the right to bare artillery. The National Rifle Association says you have the right to armor piercing bullets if you're a hunter.

WHY? How many deer wear a bulletproof vest?

(After a routine about a man's "extra" part)

That's why there should be a woman President. There would never be any wars. Never ever. You know this. It's the truth. There would never be any war, just severe negotiations every 28 days.

They call him Colonel Khadafi. That name sounds like he should have a chain of terrorist chicken stores. "Come on down to Colonel Khadafi's Bomb in a Bucket!"

The whole Middle East is like an old Marx Brothers' routine.

Khadafi?

God Bless You.

Hassad?

No body.

Hussein?

No body. You're out of here!

FROM THE 2002 CD LIVE...

These are troubled times my friend.

Hard core security in New York? Yes.

Washington? Yes.

San Francisco? Not so hard core.

You can see a Hummer with two National Guardsmen at each end of the Golden Gate Bridge.

The problem is, the Hummers and the National Guardsmen are in jungle camouflage.

The bridge... is bright orange.

So you feel like going (in an Elmer Fudd voice) "Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm looking for tewwowists."

And golf is such an exciting sport. Pure athleticism.

Whack the ball, get in the cart.

Whack the ball, get in the cart.

And the commentary is electrifying.

(In a monotone voice:) "We're on the third hole now. Could the crowd be quieter please. I'd like to hear the grass grow."

Just once, I want the guy who does Mexican soccer to do golf one time.

(In a Hispanic accent:) "The ball is rolling. The ball is going to the hole. (pause, then an elongated shout of) H-H-H-H-O-O-O-O-L-L-L-L-E-E-E-E!"

AND FROM HIS 1979 DEBUT RECORD, REALITY, WHAT A CONCEPT...

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Just enough so you don't become stupid. Just a little touch of madness will keep you alive, because no one in the world knows how to tax that. People are kind of like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in the garden.

All material (c) Robin Williams and/or his estate. Rest in Peace, sir.