Sunday, October 12, 2014

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES: TRACKING CARS (car jokes)

"I have a license, why can't I drive?"
Hello Everybody! Autumn the Puppy here.
In my ongoing observations of life from the canine perspective, there are plenty of obvious facts.
For example: there are certainly a lot of cars in the world! In fact, it's said the United States of America has more vehicles than the rest of the planet combined.
Now, I don't know how accurate that is, because I'm certainly not going to waste my time trying to count them all.
I'm a wise enough canine to know not to go chasing them either, because if it comes down to a fight between a dog and a car, the dog always loses.
I certainly want to live a rich, full life and not end up as road pizza somewhere.
Anyway, this long segue way is leading into a bunch of car themed jokes.
Ready?

Would a book about the car industry be an auto biography?
Then again, would a book about sales in the car industry be an auto buyography?

Why do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why do they call it rush hour when hardly anything moves?

A fancy Ferrari
What car has the same name forward or backward?
Race car.

Some people seem to think that the hazard light is a signal that allows them to park wherever they like. Fire lanes, in front of store entrances, bus stops, you name it.
Those drivers are taking an awfully big chance considering most of that stuff is much bigger than their vehicles and they're running the risk of a serious ticket if caught by the police.

Once day I was in the back seat of the family car when one of my people was teaching their child how to unbuckle the seat belt.
"Do I click the square?" asked the kid.
My person said yes.
Then the kid asked, "Single click or double click?"
They start learning computers younger and younger these days!

The policeman arrived at the scene of the accident and found that a car struck a telephone pole. Searching for a witness, he found a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who said he was an eyewitness.
"Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" asked the policeman.
"Sir," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"

Futuristic Astrid
How did the man get a flat tire at the intersection?
He drove over the fork in the road.

What did the tire jack say to the car?
“Need a lift?”

What did one car muffler say to the other muffler?
“I’m exhausted.”

Okay, I think I've gotten enough mileage out of this routine.

Have a great week everybody, and please join us again next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!--AtP.

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